The door burst open with a frantic Cisco in the doorway. I blinked my eyes into focus. Wait…Cisco? I noted my surroundings. That actually happened. My mind flapped through moments of yesterday like a flipbook. I couldn't believe it was all real. Cisco threw my clothes at me. "Put those on," he shouted. I was still groggy and, god, did I have a headache! Hangovers are a bitch. "It wasn't a dream," I said more to myself than to him. He flung open his closet, shuffling through his clothes. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing," I answered. It was then, as he was hopping into a pair of jeans that I realized he was only in his boxers. I rubbed my eyes. "What's going on?"

"We're late." He sifted quickly through a long line of graphic tees and started putting one on. His closet seemed pretty typical until my eyes caught a glimpse of something not so usual.

"Is that a Nerf gun collection?" I asked, my voice still raspy from sleep. He had a variety of different sizes and shapes of Nerf guns mounted on the wall inside his closet like plaques.

"Yeah, it is. Pretty sweet, right?" He turned to me with a goofy grin, but shook it off immediately. "Seriously, Lena. Put on your clothes. We're going to be in so much trouble."

"Trouble?" I asked to no one, apparently, because Cisco already left his room. When I looked at the clock on his nightstand, it read 5:30 AM. 5:30 AM and we're late?! Eesh.

I put my clothes on and found my way to his bathroom to quickly wash up and put myself together, accepting that I would be sporting the no make-up look.

When I shuffled out of his room, Cisco shoved a coffee in my hand and assured me we'd get something to eat on our way. I nursed the coffee the whole taxi ride. Neither Cisco nor I said a word to each other. Was the magic gone from last night? Did I do something wrong? Did I come on too strong? I would never do that ordinarily. That wasn't me. He needed to know that.

"Cisco…," I started. "About last night—"

"Not now." Cisco opened the door of the cab as it had slowed to a stop. "Come on," he waved me out of the cab.

He grabbed my hand before we walked through the crowded New York sidewalk. On our race to S.T.A.R. Labs, we stopped off at a kiosk selling pastries. We ate our croissants while we walked the rest of the way. It was a long enough distance for us both to consume our croissants before we made it to S.T.A.R. Labs.

Cisco scanned his card on the door to get in and once we were inside, he looked around to see if anyone was here. Once satisfied we were the only ones, he slouched into his chair. "Woo!" he said as a celebratory sigh. "We really dodged a bullet there." Leaning back in his computer chair, he stretched his hands behind his head.

"I wasn't supposed to leave last night, was I?" I asked already knowing the answer.

Cisco shrugged in response. "Did you have a good time?"

"Of course."

"Then, that's all that matters," he conceded.

I decided to try again. "But Cisco, I gotta tell you… I mean… I feel really—"

"Did you both have a good night last night?" Cisco and I both jumped at Caitlin's voice. Where had she been hiding? Or had she just arrived?

"We weren't together!" Cisco blurted out pointing back and forth to him and I. "How was your night, Lena… here at S.T.A.R. Labs?" His voice sounded very professional.

"Uh…," I glanced between Cisco and Caitlin, who had a confused look on her face. Cisco cleared his throat.

"Good?" I finally responded.

"Okay…." Caitlin studied both of us as Cisco and I tried our best not to fidget. "How was your night then, Cisco?"

I heard the chime of his computer firing on as he was moving the mouse around and clicking on icons that weren't up yet. "Same old. Same old. Nothing to report… Oh! Started a new book. Slow start, but I hear it's good." He gave Caitlin a quick glance away from his computer.

Then, Caitlin turned her focus to me. "How are you doing today, Lena?" I suddenly felt like I was in the principal's office.

"Fine, so far at least. The day is still young, though." I swallowed, noticing that my mouth has gone dry.

"Right." She looked over to Cisco. "Did you finish the device?"

"Hells yeah, I did!" Cisco seemed to recover quickly. He brought out what he devised last night. "Check it out."

Caitlin looked at the device closely. "How does it work exactly?"

"Let's hook this baby up, and I'll show you." Cisco lifted up his device proudly.

"Go ahead." Caitlin said, but after a moment, she put her hand out stopping Cisco. "Wait. It is safe, right?"

He appeared offended. "I would never put her—" he paused. "Herrros in harm's way."

"Alright, then." She supervised as Cisco placed the crown like device on my head and the cuff around my arm. He then began setting it up on the computer

"Okay," he ceremoniously cracked his knuckles. "Let's fire this baby up!"

The monitor fluttered on with a steady scan of my brain. It meant nothing to me, but a zig zag line much like how a monitored heartbeat might appear. Caitlin and Cisco watched the steady line in anticipation. The screen was split horizontally and the bottom half was split in half. The top half of the screen showed a scan of my brain activity; the bottom left quadrant monitored my temperature; and the bottom right quadrant monitored my blood pressure. Nothing appeared amiss. We all watched the screen with bated breath, waiting for something, anything to happen. The lab was silent—I could almost hear my heartbeat.

That is until there was a crunch.

Caitlin and I looked for the source of the sound only to find Cisco's apologetic face as he chewed on a Doritos chip. I laughed, and Caitlin smiled shaking her head.

"Well," she said, "that was anticlimactic."

"Sorry," I apologized sheepishly.

"Doritos?" Cisco offered the bag out to us. We both declined.

"Maybe she needs to be in a certain emotional state to create the perfect environment for her… episodes to occur," Caitlin postulated.

Cisco plopped another Doritos in his mouth, nodding in agreement. He spoke before he swallowed. "She does seem to do it when she really wants something."

When I really want something. I thought back to the episode in the market with the robber, the moment when the salesperson let me leave with the jewelry on, and, of course, that moment with Cisco in the lab yesterday when I used pathokensis on him accidentally. Was that what it really was? I wanted him. Was he just insinuating that I wanted him? How embarrassing. I really did make a buffoon of myself last night. My cheeks flushed, an emotional reflex. Caitlin and Cisco were talking, but I could hardly hear them as my mind churned and my stomach flipped considering the weight of Cisco's comment.

So many times in life everyone wants things they can't have. I know most of the things I wanted I haven't been able to have. Sometimes they were simple things—actually they are almost always simple things. Most of all I have wanted control, control over my life, over my emotions, over my heart. Always an anxious person, I have wanted more than anything to be able to control my overwhelmed nervous system. Not to mention, my heart always choosing wrong when it comes to love. I would love the ability to turn off the yearning for a man I could never have. It always seemed like my two problems worked hand in hand. In order to feel calm, I needed the loving touch of a human being to feel it. I needed a man, and I hated that. But I couldn't deny the burst of oxytocin when in an embrace, or while holding hands, or kissing, or… my mind trailed off. What I need right now is privacy.

Oblivious to their discussion, I blurted, "Can I use the restroom?" I waited, but neither heard me. So, I shouted, "Guys!" That got their attention. "Restroom?"

"Sure," Caitlin responded first. She walked toward a door and pressed a key code in. "Down the hall to the right."

"Thanks," I said as I passed through the doorway past her.

Of course, even the restroom was high tech. It glowed blue from the white LED's trimming the metallic walls in room. There were three stalls. I chose the last one, out of habit— to cry in. It wasn't because the embarrassment, it wasn't because of Cisco; it was because my predicament has finally caught up to me. It's pressing down on me so hard I can't breathe. I don't need comforting, nor do I need the saving hand of The Flash or Cisco's soothing touch. What I needed more than anything was calm. At that moment, I felt the tingle—that luscious cinnamon oil against my skin sensation. It absorbed inside my very core and trickled down like cool water. I felt all at once a sense of calm. My heart rate dropped, my mind slipped out of place and into peace.

I heard the door burst open and Caitlin's voice shout, "Lena, you did it!"

I sniffed, wiping my tears away. "What?"

"The… pathokensis," she said.

Well, this is awkward.

They're going to think I did some kind of pathokinesis while on the toilet. Great. But I knew she was right. I felt that tingly sensation and a comforting sense of calm. I never can make myself calm. That made me smile. I finally have some control over my emotions. I can make myself feel calm without anyone's help.

Caitlin yelled, "Did you—uh… actually do it… feel anything?"

"I'll be out in a moment," I called back.

"Okay," replied Caitlin.

I heard the restroom door close. I slipped out of the stall and washed my hands, splashing cool water on my red, swollen eyes. Good thing I didn't get the chance to put on mascara this morning.

When I joined Caitlin and Cisco again, they bombarded me with questions. I told them a revised version of what happened. I left out the part where I reenacted a typical teenage girl scene from a pathokinetic episode. I watched as my temperature and blood pressure spiked, and my brain activity looked like a line climbing up and down a very rocky road.

Before any further discussion could be done on the matter, an alarm went off on the computers.

Cisco looked to Caitlin. "Call Barry!"

Caitlin nodded.

As the madness ensued, I excused myself into another room that appeared to be a storage room. It contained scraps of technology, a few microscopes, a chalkboard, and a couple more long cluttered tables. I wondered the kind of mysterious and groundbreaking work that was done here that no one would ever hear about. After looking around, I started feeling exhausted. A symptom of my emotional breakdown, I thought. I continued browsing the area, but my legs became heavier and heavier. I grasped for something to hold onto, but before I could, I collapsed.

And everything went black.