Chapter 8
Thanks to Soar for the beta any left over mistakes are mine. I would also like to thank Sinead-Conlan and JuliaAurelia for their feedback on this chapter.
Disclaimer: Still don't own them
Present
Shortly after finding out the diagnosis, Dean kicked both John and Sam out of his room. He claimed he needed time to think and then he refused to say another word to both of them. Knowing when to back off, John and Sam did as he asked. They did go right to the lab and have blood drawn for the HLA typing, though, and then they retired to the motel for the night.
It was a long, sleepless night for both of them. Sam tossed and turned with worry over his brother. John tossed and turned over worry for his son, and just how much of his secret he was going to have to reveal. Sam was going to be devastated when he found out that he didn't match, but John felt he owed it to him to at least give him a warning.
Sam finally gave up attempting to sleep at around 6 am. He had a shower and headed out to get some breakfast for him and his father before they headed back to the hospital to see Dean. When he returned, he found his father wringing his hands, looking extremely nervous about something.
"Sam, sit down. I need to talk to you," John said seriously.
Sam had known that his dad was hiding something and he bit his tongue to keep from blurting out 'I knew it.' "What is it?" he asked instead.
"You better sit down."
This caused Sam to really become nervous. "Just tell me, dad, please. Is it something about Dean?"
"Yes," John confirmed. "Sammy, I don't want you to get your hopes up about being a match for Dean."
"I will be," Sam stated with conviction. "Dr. Scott said a one in four chance."
"That's not 100 percent, kiddo. That's only a 25 percent chance of you being a match."
"It's a hell of a lot better than the .005 percent chance of a stranger. I don't care how much Dean protests, I'm doing this, dad. He'd do it for me."
"He would," John agreed. "I really hope you match, Sammy, but your odds, our odds, fall into the .005 percent category."
"Dad, what the hell are you saying? Dr. Scott said one in four," Sam said desperately. "Dean and I are brothers."
"This is not coming out right," John said in frustration, running his fingers through his hair before trying again. "Sam, when your mother and I got married, we both knew that we wanted kids, a big family, but we had trouble conceiving. The doctors told us it was all but impossible. It devastated both of us. We fought constantly, said hurtful things to each other. It was a bad time, Sam."
"What are you saying, dad?" Sam asked, a hint of bewilderment coloring his tone.
"Please Sam, just let me speak. I promise I'll tell you everything. Your mom was a nurse and one day, she came home and told me all about this girl that had given birth to a premature baby. Your mom developed a real soft spot for the boy. She'd come home every night and tell me all about his progress and his set backs. She fell in love with that child and together, we made a decision to give that boy a home. We fostered for a year and a half and then we petitioned the courts for adoption. That boy was your brother, Sam."
Sam wasn't sure what to say, he just sat there, dumbfounded. Dean was adopted. Whatever he'd thought his father had been hiding, that definitely was not it.
"Sam..." John prompted after 10 minutes of silence.
"Was I...?" he finally asked tentatively
"No, you're my biological child. Dean was about four when we discovered that your mother was pregnant. It was a miracle that we didn't question. We had a perfect family and to me, it never mattered where Dean came from."
Sam was full of questions. "Who are his parents?" he blurted out.
"Me and your mother," John said sounding offended.
"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Sam defended himself.
"Okay, I don't know much about his mother, just that she was named Mandy Newton. The only thing we know about a father was that his first name was Tony."
"You never were curious about them?"
"I was plenty curious, I just didn't care enough. We had Dean and that was all that mattered."
"And you never told him?"
"We had planned to. I swear, Sam, we were gonna tell him. It's just that we wanted to wait until he was old enough to understand. We always told him that he was special and that he was loved, we wanted to prepare him. Then, there was the fire and..." John paused. "It just never seemed like the right time after that, and as I said before, I didn't care."
"Don't you think Dean has a right to know?" Sam said.
"You want to explain it to him? You know how your brother would react."
Anger descended on Sam like a lightening strike. "Yeah, I know how he'd react," he said and glared at his father. "Yet, you still abandoned him."
"Sam, you're not making sense."
"Don't forget, you abandoned Dean, dad. You left him. Took off, no explanation, nothing, just gone. Dean didn't know whether you were alive or dead. Do you know what that did to him? You didn't even care enough when he was dying and don't tell me it wasn't safe."
John wasn't sure where this was coming from, or how Sam got from the news that his brother was adopted, to accusing him of abandoning Dean, but he had a feeling that Sam had wanted to confront his father about it for a while and this gave him the perfect excuse.
"Don't you dare take that tone with me. It wasn't safe. Sam, I was there when Dean was dying. I showed up at the hospital just after you guys had left. I followed you to Nebraska, and when I got there, Dean was healed. You don't know what your call did to me."
"Still could have let him know you were glad he was okay," Sam muttered.
"I..." John started to try and explain.
"You know what, dad, forget it. There is no excuse you could come up with that I'm going to buy," Sam said angrily. He walked over to the table and grabbed his jacket. He needed to think. "I'll meet you at the hospital," he ground out.
"Sam, please," John said on the verge of begging. "I screwed up, I know that. I can't change it, but please don't tell your brother. He can't know."
"I need some air, dad."
"Sam..."
Sam turned back to his father and was shocked by what he saw. His father looked so lost, and were those tears glistening in his eyes? Sam didn't think he'd ever seen his father cry. It was almost enough to make Sam stay, almost. "I can't do this right now. I won't say anything to Dean though, he doesn't need anything else to deal with."
John let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Thanks Sammy, and I know you're angry at me, but I did what I thought was best. I'll be at the hospital. It's going to take the two of us to convince Dean to go through with the transplant, if we can find a donor."
Sam didn't say anything. He just walked out the door.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Mr. Colt," Dr. Scott said to the elder hunter as he made his way down the hall towards Dean's room.
"What's up?" John asked, his hunter's instincts going off. "Dean..."
"Is fine for now," Dr. Scott said.
"Thank God," John said, visibly sagging with relief.
"What I need you to do, though, is talk to your son. You have to convince him that signing himself out right now is not a good idea. His risk of infection is too high."
"What are you talking about? We covered this yesterday, that Dean wasn't checking himself out," John said in confusion.
"He signed the AMA papers this morning," Dr. Scott confirmed.
He doesn't have to worry about this stupid disease. I'll kill him myself! "Did something happen?" John wondered.
"I went in to speak to him this morning about setting up an appointment for surgery..."
"Surgery?" interrupted John. "But I thought..." John paused, trying to remember what the doctor had told him the previous day about the transplant. "I thought you said it was like an IV and..." He stopped abruptly. "Does this mean me or Sam is a match?" John finished hopefully.
"I'm sorry," Dr. Scott apologized. "The HLA typing takes a couple of weeks. It's too early to tell if you and Sam are a match. I didn't mean to word it quite like that."
"Then why does he need surgery?"
"Bone marrow transplants are done through an IV. The reason for the surgery is to implant a Hickman catheter."
"A what?" John asked in confusion.
"It's a central line that we implant in the chest here," Dr. Scott said pointing to a spot on his body. "It allows us to administer IV medications and take blood samples without repeated needle sticks," Dr. Scott explained. "If we find a match, he's going to need one."
"Can't you wait for the transplant?" John asked.
"No. Right now, Dean is at risk for a lot of complications, bleeding being one of them. Even something simple like a blood test can cause uncontrolled bleeding if his platelet count is low enough, and we need to limit the number of transfusions we give him."
"Why?" John asked.
"The more transfusions, the greater the chance of complications during the transplant."
"I'll talk to him," John confirmed, he didn't want to hear about potential complications. "Set up the surgery."
"Here," Dr. Scott said and handed John the permission form and then hesitated.
"What is it?" John said trying to keep the panic out of his voice.
"I know this is a sensitive subject, but..."
"Dad," a voice said from down the hall.
John turned and almost sagged with relief when he saw his youngest son coming down the hall.
"Dr. Scott, is Dean alright?" Sam asked worriedly. He'd gotten about 10 feet away from the motel and realized that no matter how mad he was at his father, he couldn't take that anger out on his brother. Both John and Sam had done that to Dean for most of his life and right now, he was dealing with enough.
"Your brother is doing okay, Sam," Dr. Scott said. He looked toward John. "Mr. Colt, is it okay to talk in front of your son?"
"Yeah, he knows. I told him this morning. What did you want to say? I'm guessing that this has to do with Dean's adoption."
"Yes. What I was going to say is that I have a few pamphlets from organizations that help adoptees find their biological parents. If you or Sam don't match and we can't find a donor from the registry, it may be necessary to try and find them, to see if he has any brothers or sisters who may be a potential match," Dr. Scott said and handed over the other papers he was carrying.
John accepted them and stood staring at the paperwork. He really didn't need them. He had been lying when he had said to Sam that he didn't know who Dean's biological parents were. He had known for a while. In fact, he was trying to decide when to call. If he or Sam didn't match, then his biological father was going to have to be tested. The elder hunter really didn't want to call though, because he was jealous. Dean was his son and John wanted to be the one to help him, but if he didn't put aside his pride, it could cost Dean his life.
"Thanks doc," Sam managed to say. He was still trying to get past the fact that Dean may have another brother or sister out there somewhere. He was surprised by the feelings of jealousy that started to build up inside him. Dean was his big brother.
"Please let me know what Dean decides. Mr. Colt, Sam, again I'm going to overstep my bounds here and give some advice. Talk to your son, no demands, no little brother tactics. What?" Doctor Scott said when he saw the looks on Sam and John's faces. "I'm a little brother too. I know them all. If Dean's going to agree to the transplant, I need him to do it for himself. It's not going to be easy and for it to succeed, I need Dean behind it 100 percent."
"Am I missing something?" Sam asked.
"Your brother decided it would be a good idea to sign himself out," John informed Sam.
"Come on, dad. We better go talk to him. Thanks doc," Sam said again.
"No problem. Don't forget to come to me if you have any questions."
Sam and John made their way into Dean's room. They found him sitting on the edge of his bed, fully dressed.
"Thank God, you're here. Let's go," Dean said.
"Nice try, Dean," Sam said. "What are you thinking? You heard what the doctor said."
"Yeah, it doesn't matter because I'm not doing it," Dean said firmly. "I feel fine," he insisted.
"That's still from the transfusion, Dean," Sam pointed out. "Your symptoms are going to come back." He had to stop himself from pointing out how bad it would be if it happened in the middle of a hunt. He remembered what the doctor had said.
John knew his son and he had a feeling that there was something else bothering him. "Dean, you're an adult. If you want to sign yourself out, I'm not going to stop you."
Both Sam and Dean looked at their father as if he was possessed. "It's really me talking," John continued. "There is a but, though. You have to provide me with a good reason why you want to leave and 'I feel fine' doesn't count, and neither does 'it's too risky'."
"I..." Dean started and then hesitated. What John and Sam didn't know was that Dean had called the doctor back to his room after they had left the previous night, and asked a few questions of his own. He didn't like what he had found out. "It takes at least two weeks to do the testing to find out if you match and then there is at least another week of testing to make sure I can withstand the transplant, then the actual transplant takes about 4-6 weeks to see if it's working. I'm gonna be in here for at least two months and that's only if there are no complications. How are we going to pay for this? The fake insurance cards aren't going to hold up for that long."
"Dean, don't worry about that, okay," John said.
"How can I not?" Dean questioned.
"Because the card I gave the doctor is not fake. Joshua gave it to me for emergencies. He has something in place for hunters who need long term medical treatment and can't afford to use a fake card. I'm not really sure how it works, but everything is covered, so you're going to need a new argument."
"How come you never told us that?" Sam asked.
"I was hoping I would never need it," John said. "Dean," he prompted.
"I just don't want to okay?" Dean tried.
Sam knew Dean's true reason. He had spent some time on his computer looking up information on bone marrow transplants. It took about a year for a person to fully recover from one. Dean didn't want to risk his father taking off without him. Sam felt his heart going out to his brother, that he was so afraid of being alone that he was willing to risk dying to keep his family together.
"We'll be here every step of the way, Dean, both of us," Sam promised his brother and gave his father a pointed look.
"Dean, son, I know that I haven't always been there for you in the past, but I will make you a promise, son. No hunting until you're better," John confirmed.
"You'll stay?" Dean asked in a tone that made him sound like a little boy, almost afraid to believe it.
"Yeah, Dean. I don't care how long it takes."
"What about after I get out of the hospital?" Dean asked. He had to make sure.
"As long as it takes," John confirmed. "I don't care if yellow eyes shows up in the motel room. I'll tell him to go away and come back later," John said sincerely.
"I don't want anything to happen to you or Sammy," Dean said.
"Right now, there's nothing we can do about it, so let's compromise, okay?" Sam asked. "You stay here and when we find out the results of the tests, we'll talk."
"And you agree to have the surgery, Dean," John added and told Sam what the doctor had said earlier. "It'll mean less needles."
Dean looked at his father once more. "You promise to stay?" Dean asked again.
John walked over to Dean and laid a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Yeah, buddy, I promise," he said sincerely.
"Okay, give me the form," Dean said and signed his name when his father handed it to him.
Sam had to admire his brother. He wished he could have that kind of faith in his father. How many times had he promised Dean something when they were kids, only to have his father forget everything at the first sign of a hunt? Yet Dean always believed when his father said the words to him. Sam was determined that this was one promise that John wouldn't break. He didn't care if he had to tie his father down.
Sam didn't need to worry because this was one promise that John was determined to keep as well.
Dean picked up the gown that he had left on his bed and went back into the bathroom to change. He came out shortly afterward and climbed back into bed.
"Hey, dad," Dean said. "I want to add one other condition," he requested.
"What's that, kiddo?"
"Can you bring me some sweats or some PJs. These damn hospital gowns don't cover a thing."
John and Sam couldn't stop the laughter that erupted from them. It felt so good to laugh.
John said he was going to go track down Dean's doctor and give him the permission form. He paused, turned around and looked back at his boys. The next few months were going to be rough, but they would get through it together, as a family.
John got a few feet away from Dean's room when he heard someone angrily call his name.
"JOHN WINCHESTER,WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU CALL ME AND TELL ME MY SON WAS SICK. DON'T YOU THINK I HAD A RIGHT TO KNOW?"
John stiffened, turned around and acknowledged the voice for what was sure to be an unpleasant conversation. "Bobby..."
A/N: I promise that how John and Bobby found out will be revealed throught the flashback chapters. Please remember to feed the muse and review. It keeps her happy and reviews are what I live for.
