A/N Kay, I'm cheating a bit and posting this here before it's beta'd, just because I'm so very impatient and late as it is . The beta'd version will be on LJ soon if you really can't handle any bad grammar or spelling mistakes ;) (or if you don't read here)
Enjoy!
Ianto woke with what he swore was the worst hangover of his life.
For a moment he kept his eyes shut, taking a moment to let the previous days events come flooding back. He could barely remember the morning, hell he could barely remember his date with Jack. Everything before the attack was a blur, everything after it was now becoming crystal clear.
He groaned and rolled over, nudging Myfanwy firmly in the side to push her off the bed. She whimpered quietly but did as she was told, heading over to wait by the door as per usual. Ianto smiled a little, though it was soon replaced by a frown as he sat up and found himself in the same clothes as the night before, evidence of the attack still covering his shirt. He thought back to the awful things he'd said to Jack last night, the look on the older man's face as he'd left, the guilt and the regret that had woken Ianto up several times throughout the night and was now still eating away at him.
Ianto swallowed and shook his head, standing up to pad across to the wardrobe. He needed to get to work on time, and that was never going to happen if he kept dwelling on the past. He began to peel away the previous night's suit, rolling the shirt up into a ball and chucking it into the far corner of the room. He kicked the trousers off and under the bed before heading into the bathroom for a shower.
It was a relief to finally step under the hot jet of water, washing away the invisible marks left by Jack and the men. Ianto scrubbed desperately at every part of his body he could reach, so much so that when he got out the shower half an hour later, his chest was practically glowing red. He ignored it and wrapped a towel around his waist, moving across to the mirror to shave.
He wiped the mirror clean with one hand and gasped as he saw the graze still prominent on his left cheek, remembering the way Jack's fingers had felt brushing over it. He closed his eyes and slowly exhaled a breath, raising his own hand to touch the mark himself. He could almost take himself back, pretend it was Jack's hands on him, marking him, claiming him...
At least, it could've been, had Ianto not completely fucked everything up.
He let out a frustrated growl and wiped the shaving cream from his chin, chucking the razor into the bin below the sink. Myfanwy came trotting through at the noise, coming to plonk herself at Ianto's feet. Ianto sighed and kneeled down to press a kiss to her head, his hands coming up to scratch behind her ears as he whispered, "What have I done, Myfanwy?"
*
Ianto arrived late at work once again, to the sound of men shouting and a woman clearly trying to keep the peace. The lift doors opened with a ping and half the office instantly turned at the noise, their eyes coming to fix on Ianto. Owen was engaged in a heated argument with one of the younger men on the team, but within seconds had turned on Ianto.
"Oh and it's about fucking time too, is it really too much to ask for the bloody coffee boy to arrive on time in the morning? Don't worry about the rest of us who have been here since six fucking thirty in the morning and are having to spend time making our own goddamn coffee because—"
"Owen!" Jack's voice bellowed across the office. Ianto's breath caught in his throat and he quickly averted his eyes, but Jack wasn't looking at him anyway. "If there's a problem you can come to me with it, it's not your job to discipline the staff and it's certainly—"
"Oh I see!" Owen cut in as Ianto's face turned a powerful shade of crimson. "Your bloody boyfriend here can turn up to work whenever he likes and you don't even bat an eyelid, but when the rest of us want to..." He trailed off as Jack slammed a hand down on the desk and the entire office fell into silence. Ianto bit his lip so hard he tasted copper.
"I don't want to hear another word about it," Jack told him firmly, holding Owen's gaze for a moment before dismissing the conversation with a wave of his hand. "Now get back to work, all of you," he spared a quick glance at Ianto as everyone quickly engrossed themselves in their work, but the younger man ignored him and scurried off to the kitchenette.
Ianto spent longer than usual making the coffees, delaying time before he'd have to face Jack alone. He could probably just get Gwen to deliver it for him; she'd always had a bit of a thing for the boss, despite being married herself, but it wouldn't do any good in the long term. He knew he had to face Jack eventually.
His hands shook as he carried the tray to Jack's office, expecting to find the older man sat behind his chair waiting for him as he did every morning. He was therefore surprised when he spotted Jack stood over by the A3 printer, chatting to a young brunette from Design. Alison, her name was. Ianto had seen her a couple times when visiting Tosh, he'd remembered commenting on how pretty she was and being teased about it at the pub after work.
Well, he certainly didn't think so now. Not when she was stood in his boss' personal space, her hand placed affectionately on his arm while she giggled at some wild gestures he was making with his hands. His own arm was placed on the printer one side of her, supporting his body against it and trapping her in slightly. Not that she seemed to care.
Ianto quickly hurried into Jack's office to avoid getting caught staring, catching a brief glimpse of Jack's face as he did.
The man was laughing.
Ianto huffed and felt a sharp twinge of something resembling jealousy in his chest. Him and Jack had only ended their... thing the night before and already Jack had moved on to a new victim. Maybe Owen really had been right; Jack did just want him for sex, and now that he'd realised Ianto wasn't going to give it to him, he'd found someone else.
Ianto banged the mug down on Jack's desk, grimacing slightly as the hot liquid sloshed over the sides onto his hands and the wood. He very almost reached for his handkerchief to clean it up, but stopped himself midway; Jack could deal with the mess himself. Would serve him right if he emptied the whole mug out onto the desk, maybe even a little on Jack's paperwork...
"Aren't you going to clean that up?"
Ianto jumped and spun around, his hands rapidly pulling the handkerchief from his pocket while Jack watched with a raised eyebrow from the doorway.
"Was just about to, sir," Ianto mumbled, his face burning as he hurriedly wiped the coffee from the desk and stuffed the cloth back into his pocket. Jack seemed somewhat amused by this reaction.
"Ianto, relax," he moved further into the room to squeeze Ianto's shoulder, "I'm not mad at you. A little disappointed I have to say, but not mad," he released Ianto's shoulder and plonked himself down in his chair. "I only want my employees to be happy, if I can't be the one to make you happy then we should just put last night behind us and move on."
"But Jack—"
"Shh Ianto, its okay," Jack put a hand up to silence him and smiled. "We're still friends right?"
Ianto blinked. This wasn't exactly the reaction he'd been expecting. He'd imagined Jack would act cold and professional with him, only talking when he needed to and ignoring him the rest of the day. That would've been bad, but this...this was even worse. Jack was smiling, like he was unaffected by Ianto's rejection the previous night.
Then he realised that Jack was probably only saying this so he could go out with Alison and all his anger at the man came rushing back.
"Oh, um," he shrugged casually, "I think we should just see how things go."
Jack nodded, seemingly unhurt by Ianto's answer. "If you say so," he smiled once more before pulling a pile of forms from his desk and waving a hand to indicate the conversation was over. Just like that. Like Ianto was Owen or just another member of staff, which he supposed he probably was now.
A sudden burst of frustration welled inside him at the thought and he couldn't stop the next words spilling from his mouth. "Would you care if we weren't?"
Jack lifted his head from his paperwork and frowned, "You call the shots, Ianto," he unexpectedly stood up and moved over to the door, holding it open as he leant against the frame. "Like I said, whatever makes you happy."
Ianto eyed him suspiciously. There was something... fake in the way Jack spoke, and in the smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. In fact, now that Ianto had a chance to look closely at the other man's bloodshot eyes and the dark circles that hung beneath them, it almost looked as if Jack had been crying.
That couldn't be right.
"Ianto?" Ianto's head snapped up at the sound of Jack's voice as the other man gestured towards the lift with his head. "Won't Tosh be awaiting her coffee?"
Ianto nodded once, plastering on a fake smile of his own as he went to squeeze past Jack. Jack didn't even step back to let him through and Ianto had to swallow a moan as Jack's hand brushed not-so-accidently against his thigh. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and strode towards the lift without another word.
He did owe Tosh a coffee, and he had a feeling she wasn't going to be best pleased with him.
*
"You did what?!"
Ianto sighed, "It seemed the best option at the time, and I didn't want to give Jack the wrong impression or— Ow!" Ianto groaned and rubbed his arm where Tosh had smacked him. "Why do you always have to resort to violence?"
"I'll stop resorting to violence when you stop behaving like an absolute... man!" Tosh told him harshly, placing her palm across his mouth when he went to protest. "Now, start again, the truth this time."
"I am telling you the truth! Look, I got there and I guess I realised I wasn't ready for another relationship, especially not with Jack. It was better he found out sooner rather than later, so I—"
"Did the adult thing and ran away, left him all by himself at the restaurant!"
"It was for the best!"
Tosh shook her head and turned away, gazing off out the window. "It all makes so much sense now," she said so quietly under her breath Ianto only just managed to catch it.
"What makes sense?"
Tosh inhaled a long breath, her fingers tapping nervously against the table. "I know why you left him, Ianto. Well, maybe I don't know the exact details, but I have an idea."
Ianto's heart dropped. Tosh knew? "How?"
"I...I saw someone yesterday, walking down the high street. I wasn't entirely sure I'd seen him right, so I followed him for a while to try and catch another glimpse of his face," she paused and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, a telltale sign she was anxious of Ianto's reaction. "He stopped for a cigarette and that's when I saw his face more clearly."
Ianto clenched his hands under the desk. He didn't want to hear this. If she said the words then that would make them true. "Who was it?" He eventually asked cautiously.
Tosh bit her lip and spun back around to face him, "It was Lisa's drug dealer."
