The only constant in life is change. People, as a species, are in a constant state of metamorphoses. Just when we get comfortable swimming in the sea, we end up on land. The moment we become accustom to crawling, we stand on two legs. Our instinct is to resist change, to fear it. So we wrap a pretty word like evolution around it and hope it'll make the pill easier to swallow. The thing is, change doesn't care if you love it or you hate it; it's indifferent. Intractable. And it will not be denied.
- Being Human
It had been three months since they got married, and Anna was more convinced than ever that something was wrong. Kristoff disappearing during the day, she could understand that. He liked to get away from people. He still worked, even though he didn't have to. They were finally reaching the summer season once more, and he had spent some time organizing for the season, though he was going to be more of an overseer now.
But the first time he'd disappeared at night, she had been confused. All night he had been gone, and had no answers for her when he returned. She could brush that off as a one time event that was merely a puzzle to go unsolved. But when the next month rolled around and he was gone again with no more answers than the first time, she couldn't let go of it. Something was going on and she was going to figure out what it was. It had been exactly a month since, and tonight Kristoff had made some excuse to disappear of to the stables and never returned.
Anna pulled a robe on over her nightdress. At the moment, she didn't care about propriety and whether it was right for a princess to be wandering the castle in her sleep clothes. She was a woman who was going to find out why her husband was disappearing for the third time since they'd been married. She slipped her bare feet into his extra pair of boots and clumped through the halls of the castle, glaring daggers at anyone who looked at her like they might reprimand her. Everyone stayed silent and quietly averted their eyes.
Of course they knew her well enough to know when the fight wouldn't be worth it. There was still light out, which made her wonder why Kristoff had suggested she retire for the night in the first place. She had thought it was because he wanted to 'retire' early with her. Now she thought it was probably to get rid of her so he could slip away to whatever he was doing. Anna marched all the way to the stables, her robe blowing in the wind and no doubt making her look like a righteously indignant matchstick on a mission. Or maybe a doll that a drunk child had tried to dress, she wasn't very good with metaphors. Or comparisons. Whatever it was supposed to be.
Once she got to the stables, she heard voices and paused to listen. It was Kristoff, she knew that much. But the other voice was...Elsa? She didn't know what to think of that. She couldn't make out quite what they were saying either. It made her regret stealing Kristoff's boots and impeding her ability to be silent. She pressed her ear to the doors, trying to still her breathing enough that she could hear, and tried to silence the guilt whispering in her ears. If Kristoff hadn't wanted her to listen in, he should have told her where he was going and why.
"You know if Anna ever finds out about this, she's going to think that we're….you know." Kristoff spoke, making her stomach twist. What were they doing that would make her think that? It made her want to storm in and demand they tell her what was going on. But she waited, wanting to hear Elsa's response.
"Anna is more levelheaded than that, Kristoff. Besides, it would probably be better to let her think that, than to tell her the truth." Elsa spoke next, and this time Anna's stomach dropped. There had to be some terrible secret. And it wasn't just Kristoff, it was Elsa too.
"Yeah, that's never going to happen. We are not going to let my wife think that, ever. And we're not going to be able to keep him a secret forever, either. You have to know that." Kristoff replied. Anna felt a little better to hear that. And there was always that pleasantly warm feeling she got hearing him call her his wife that distracted her from some of her anger.
"I know, I jus…" Anna moved away from the doors before she could hear Elsa's reply. They had said something about a him. Who could he be? Why were they hiding him? She spotted Kristoff's sleigh not far off, enough supplies in it for a person to survive...well she wasn't really sure. She didn't know how supplies were divided up. But it looked like a lot. And it looked like he was getting ready to hook Sven up and take a trip. She had a small window of time, so Anna looked back once at the stable doors, then bit her lip and hurried up to the sleigh.
There was some food, she didn't want to sit next to that. Firewood, lumpy and hard and difficult to hide in. But there were also some of Kristoff's old clothes and a pile of blankets. Anna pulled herself up into the sleigh and shrunk down into the pile as much as she could, pulling one of the blankets over her head. She would just have to hope they wouldn't look too closely. She somehow doubted she looked all that much like she belonged, and she wanted answers before confronting them. She wanted to know what she was confronting them about.
It was a few minutes of sitting in stuffy, uncomfortable silence before she heard them come out. Something else was tossed onto the sleigh, and she heard the familiar clop of Sven's hooves, then Kristoff's odd little voice he used for Sven asking for a carrot. She smiled, before she remembered that she was mad and frowned again. They had better have a really good reason for all of this. They exchanged a few words she couldn't make out and it seemed she would sit back there forever. Then the sleigh finally started to move.
She wondered if she was doing the right thing. Not that she could do anything to change it, now. She was stuck, until they reached whatever the mysterious destination was and found whatever mysterious man they were trying to keep hidden was. She tried to kill time by thinking about what it could be, but all her mind would come up with was a secret beau of Elsa's, which didn't make any sense. Why would she keep him secret? Why would Kristoff know? Why would they be taking him supplies? None of the pieces fit together.
She finally gave up and decided to sleep instead. At least that way the time would pass faster and she wouldn't have to wonder so much. Besides, she wouldn't be all sleepy when they did finally get wherever they were going, which was apparently far outside of town. Probably. She told herself all of it mainly because her eyes were already drooping and she wanted an excuse to allow them to shut without feeling like she was giving up.
There was no telling how much time had passed when a particularly bad bump jolted her awake. There were only faint whispers of light coming through her blanket now, and she slowly pulled it down. And slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from shrieking. Staring back at her with dead, glassy eyes was a goat's head. Connected to a goat's body. A very dead goat, she might add. She yanked the blanket back up and wished she had never looked in the first place. What in all the gods names were they doing carting a dead goat up the mountain?
The North Mountain, she realized now that she thought about it. She recognized the landscape. It only served to confuse her even more, make the whole chain of events a mess in her head. She frowned, crossing her arms under the blanket and settled in to wait. As it turned out, she didn't have long to wait. It was only a few minutes later that she felt the sleigh pull to a halt and her breathing spiked. If they were going to find her, now was going to be the time. She tried to shrink down even more and hold her breath so she wouldn't be moving.
Heavy footsteps crunched through the snow, then she heard something being pulled out of the sleigh and the footsteps retreated again. Silence fell. She couldn't hear Kristoff or Elsa and she dared to peek out again. The goat was gone. The sun was nearly set. Neither her husband or sister were in sight, and the sleigh was resting at the entrance of Elsa's ice castle. It seemed to make less and less sense.
Anna got up while she still could and did her best to run silently through the snow with Kristoff's boots making her steps clumsy and awkward. She shivered against the winter winds, wishing she had thought to bring the blanket with her and hurrying up to the front of the castle. She stepped to the side just as one of the doors opened again, hiding behind it. Kristoff and Elsa came out, walking in grim silence back to the sleigh. Anna didn't pause to listen in and see if they said anything. She ducked inside the castle and slipped and scurried across the floor to hide behind the staircase in the far corner.
She shivered again, waiting for them to return. They came back in and she peeked around enough to see Kristoff setting down several crates and Elsa carrying an armful of clothes.
"Hopefully he won't rip these up." She said, her voice echoing off the walls and ceiling.
"How did that even happen?" Kristoff asked, as they turned back to the doors.
"On the days leading up to t…" Elsa's voice faded away again, leaving Anna with more questions than ever. Who were they giving Kristoff's old clothes to, and why was he ripping them up? Why were they at the ice castle? Why would they keep giving more clothes to someone who was ripping them up? Wasn't that a sign of someone who didn't want something? It didn't make any sense. They made several more trips inside, leaving more stuff inside until there was a pile as big as what had been on the sleigh.
"That's everything." Elsa said, chairs forming beside them, the two of them each taking a seat. "If you want to go back home for the night, I understand. I'll be fine here." She told Kristoff. He reached over and squeezed one of her hands, making Anna frown harder.
"I don't mind staying. I don't like the idea of you being here alone with this." He said.
And I don't like the idea of you sneaking off to spend the night with Elsa in her ice castle. Anna silently accused. She was getting angry now. What, they just came up here to sit together? There was no mystery man even, just a pile of supplies they'd brought in for some person that didn't seem to exist.
"I appreciate it Kristoff, but I should be fine. Hans has never gotten out."
Anna's blood ran cold. Hans? It had almost been a year since Hans. Elsa said he was dead. Everyone thought he was dead. Was he their mystery man? The one they had wasted all these supplies on? Now she was definitely angry. They were still talking, but she didn't bother listening anymore. She stomped out of her hiding place into plain view, finger already raised to point accusingly at the two of them.
"Hans?" She shouted, doing her best to stride gracefully while slipping on the ice. Elsa's mouth dropped open in shock and Kristoff's eyes merely grew severals sizes wider than she had ever seen before.
"Anna, how did you-"
"Oh, don't even ask me that question. I can't believe the two of you. Is Hans alive?" It felt surreal. There was no way. She must've heard wrong. But the stricken looks on their faces told her she hadn't. With an angry sound, Anna came to a stop and looked around. There was one doorway that she didn't remember from before. She glanced back at Elsa, who was staring at the same door in apprehension.
"Is that where he is?" Anna cried, throwing an arm out to point at the door. Elsa stood up, arm out.
"Anna, don't." She warned, but Anna was already at the door, pulling it open. To a hallway. She heard Kristoff and Elsa shouting after her and it just spurred her on more. She was going to see Hans, and she was going to give him a piece of her mind. She was not going to put up with giving him food or clothing or letting him stay anywhere that wasn't dirty, gross dungeons. That was what he deserved. There were a few more doors to push through, each heavy and difficult and generally with some kind of locking mechanism. Each one giving Kristoff and Elsa more of a chance to catch up.
She made it to the last one just as they were getting to the one behind her. Ice started to crust the door shut, but she had it open enough to slip through. And stop stock still at the sight in front of her. The room was about the size of her own, but had a row of bars down the middle like a prison. On the other side was the dead goat pushed up against a wall, and far from it, was Hans. He was huddled under a blanket in the corner. From what she could tell, he didn't have anything else on, but there was a pile of neatly folded clothes just within reach on her side of the bars. He looked up at her entrance and he looked...afraid?
"You can't be here." He said, glancing about wildly. Like a caged animal. Anna gaped at the sight, feeling only more confusion. This seemed oddly cruel, even for Hans. His eyes fixed on something behind her and Anna glanced back to see Elsa following her inside.
"She can't be here, none of you can." He insisted desperately, rising to his feet and wrapping the blanket tightly around him. "It's about to-" He cut off, his words turning into a growl and his whole body tensing up. Then the growl turned into a cry and his knees seemed to buckle underneath him, making him fall forward.
"What's going on?" Anna demanded, looking back to Elsa. Her sister looked like she was going to be sick, eyes fixed on Hans. In fact, it almost looked like she was tearing up. Kristoff stepped in behind her, watching the scene grimly and offering no explanation either. Anna turned back to look at Hans, who didn't really look like Hans now. His hair was spreading, growing coarser and darker. His face shifted and stretched into something ugly, while his shoulders looked like they were dislocating. It was horrifying and terrible, and he was screaming in pain until she had to hold her hands over her ears and turn away.
Elsa looked like she was in almost as much pain, a flurry starting up around them until her sister collapsed and Kristoff caught her. He flicked his head insistently towards the door at Anna and she silently followed his voiceless order. He stepped after her, carrying a weeping Elsa and breaking the ice at the foot of the door to pull it shut. Anna walked all the way out of the hallway, grateful for every door that shut and quieted the sound of shouts that were turning to howls behind them. She could still hear it out in the great room, but it wasn't so deafeningly loud. She turned to see Kristoff setting Elsa down in one of the chairs and turning to look at her and cross his arms.
"When someone tells you not to go in a room, you don't go in the room." He whisper yelled at her. Anna fought between feeling guilty and angry. She settled for indignant, glaring right back at him and trying not to listen to the sound of Elsa crying.
"When you're hiding the man that tried to kill my sister and take over Arendelle, you tell me instead of sneaking out at night with my sister to take care of him." She yelled right back, in less of a whisper-y tone. His hands clenched into fists, but he didn't seem to have a reply to that. Instead he just turned and gestured to Elsa, who was just beginning to pull herself together.
"You see what you did?" He accused. Anna's head drew back.
"Oh, I did that? I don't think so, I was just trying to figure out what's going on." She insisted, not liking the way it was all getting turned around on her.
"By snooping!" Kristoff shot back.
"Enough!" Elsa stood, the ice at her feet cracking and turning a pinkish red color. "You two bicker like children." She said, still wiping at tears.
"We're married," protested Kristoff.
"What is going on?" Anna asked, hoping for a straight answer for once. Elsa drew back again, her face falling. She looked as though she would start to speak, but her mouth shut and she shook her head. Kristoff sighed.
"Sit down." He ordered, and Elsa silently complied. Kristoff turned to look squarely at Anna. "Hans is a monster. Once a month, he turns into a wolf, and it messes with his head for the few days before and after. It makes him do things that don't make sense, but Elsa found him and brought him here. She can hold him with her ice, but no other place really can. It's better for everyone if the world thinks he's dead." He stated simply. Like he was announcing the price of carrots at the local market.
Anna's jaw hung open. She wanted to deny it and say she didn't she couldn't believe a word of what he was saying, but the howls still echoing dimly around them were proof in and over themselves. There was nothing to do but gape at him, wonder how her husband had kept such a big secret from her for so long. What could she even say to something like that?
"But why didn't you tell me?" She asked, eyes switching between Kristoff and Elsa who both wore vaguely guilty expressions.
"It's not an easy thing to know." Kristoff said. "We wanted to keep you from it. And it's not exactly easy for you to keep a secret, if you recall when we tried to surprise Elsa." He continued, his look somewhat reprimanding now. She did calm a little at that, trying to think rationally. To some extent she could understand it. But that didn't make it right. It didn't make her okay with it.
"No." She said stubbornly, stomping one of her feet. Both Kristoff and Elsa looked up unsurely. "We're a family. Family doesn't keep things from each other, especially not like this. And we don't do things alone, we do things together." The last thing she needed was another secret kept from her. That was how Elsa had become isolated in the first place.
Elsa stood again, on shaky legs. "I'm sorry I kept this from you, Anna. And that I insisted Kristoff do the same. I just wanted to protect you." She said quietly. Anna huffed and stared angrily. She wanted to be angry. She wanted be unreasonable and shout and scream and tell them both they were terrible for keeping such a big secret from her. But she heard the distant howls and felt a burden already settling onto her shoulders. She reminded herself of how Elsa always tried to do things on her own because she had been isolated even more than Anna. She reminded herself that it was her sister and it was Kristoff, and neither of them would ever do anything to purposely hurt her. And she sighed.
"I forgive you." The words came out still a little reluctant, but they were out. And there was visible relief on their faces at her words. Anna slipped closer to Kristoff, pressing up against his side and stealing some of his warmth.
"I am still angry with you, I'm just really cold." She told him. He sighed and shifted and a few seconds later she felt his jacket settle over her shoulders and shut all the cold out. Then his hat set over her head and fell over her ears and she couldn't help but smile to herself. It wasn't fair how hard it was to stay angry at Kristoff.
"You know I love you, right?" He muttered against her hair, just loud enough that she could hear. She paused a moment before nodding against him and one of his arms moved around her in response.
"Good." He mumbled just as quietly, and she knew she wasn't going to be able to hold onto her anger. She shifted enough so she could turn out and look at Elsa, who was staring mournfully at the closed door they had just come from. A new thought came into her mind, as the scene replayed itself in her mind. The look on Elsa's face, the way she had reacted to Hans' pain…
"Do you love him?" She asked. It seemed absurd, crazy. But she knew her sister. Elsa looked up, surprise coloring her face.
"I-I…" She started, before her shoulders sagged. "I don't even know what love is." She admitted. Anna pulled away from Kristoff to reach step up to Elsa and take on of her hands.
"Yes you do." She insisted. Elsa smiled, reservedly at first, then a little wider as she nodded. She stepped forward and pulled Anna into a hug.
"Thank you, Anna."
A/N: So strangely enough, I actually enjoyed writing this chapter. I've never really written from Anna's pov before, but it wasn't so bad. I've never been a fan of the unreasonably angry Anna who goes insane when she sees Hans and gets super hateful; I feel like it doesn't fit her character. But that's my own personal opinion and we all have different ways of looking at things. Like with Kristoff. I don't know why, but I feel like he would be really good at keeping secrets. I see him as a compartmentalizer, but I couldn't tell you why. But as was pointed out, this place is for everyone to have their own theories.
secretcastle I do have plans for his wolf...You just have to wait and see.
