Quinn's POV
Quinn was pretty sure that her newly instated life of structure and monotony would eventually end up being the death of her. Every evening, she fell asleep to silence. Every morning, she woke up to birds chirping outside her window. It took all her strength not to throw one of her Jimmy Choos at them, if not for the fact that she was pretty sure she would be unable to procure another pair like that in Lima, Ohio. Not that she was an animal hater. She had donated to PETA in the past and tried the vegan lifestyle for six months when Natalie Portman had once revealed to her the importance of that kind of diet. However, one slip-up while eating bacon after a nasty hangover made her realize how much of a carnivore she really was. And that was the end of her vegan trend.
These birds, however, were the epitome of everything she hated about Lima. They were so predictable. Every morning at 6am, they would make their presence known. They were taunting her, teasing her, depriving her of sleep and reminding her every morning that she was still here and not where she needed to be. She hadn't been in front of a camera in five months. She hadn't read a new script four months. And she hadn't heard from her L.A. friends since she moved out here three months ago. It's a known fact that "out of sight, out of mind" is the only guaranteed truth in Hollywood and Quinn was going stir crazy thinking about that. She had her premiere for Ten Stories Down to look forward to and once it was released, it would buy her some time, but this was the first time in years she didn't have a project lined up. She and her team are hoping for a hit so she could sign on for the sequel. Right now, December 18th couldn't come fast enough. It was merely a few weeks away, but she couldn't wait to get back and see all her friends. She missed everyone. Even Janet, her shrew of an agent. She could hardly stand the woman. Nobody really could. She was a ball buster, but her persistence and bitchiness got the job done and Quinn was thankful for it.
She was starting to miss her co-stars from the show even more. It had been six months since her parents sat her down and told her they didn't want her returning to the show. Not after everything that had happened. They would not renew her contract and she would spend the summer finishing up filming her new movie and after that, they were moving to Ohio. It was not up for discussion. Quinn cried. She cried harder than she ever had and that last day on the Outside Hearts set was the most difficult day of her young life thus far. That show had been her life since she was thirteen. The world had watched Jessica Shay grow up before their eyes. It was a huge shock to people when she left. Fans had started a campaign to bring her back since the studio had cited "contract dispute" as the reason for her leaving. It wasn't true, but anything was better than the truth getting out. Quinn's parents never gave her an exact reason for pulling her from the show, but she knew that they knew. And discussion of it was obviously off limits.
Quinn was desperate. She had looked into emancipation and asked her agent to call a few lawyers and see what they could do. But her parents never mistreated her or mismanaged her funds. They had done everything by the book and there was no 'just cause' for her to file for emancipation. So Quinn had to say goodbye to the only life she had ever known. No more famous friends to go clubbing with. Now she spent her days at the Lima Bean or at the local bowling alley. No more tutors on the set. Now she had to settle into a real school. The only thing she knew about real schools, she had learned from either watching TV or from her experience as a high school student on the show. From what she knew, the best way to fit in was to be a cheerleader and date someone on the football team – preferably the captain. It seemed simple enough, but she came to find she had no interest in cheerleading. And the captain of the football team was starting to become a 180-pound thorn in her side. She couldn't go an hour without him texting or calling and, while he seemed nice enough, she really had to struggle to find herself attracted to him. He was a far cry from all the other guys she was linked to in the past, but he looked good on her arm. Maybe not as good as Zac Efron, but for Lima standards, it worked. She felt like a complete snob for thinking that, but it was true. If she was going to survive high school unscathed and get back to Hollywood for good once she turned eighteen, she had to lead as normal a life as possible.
Quinn got up, got ready for the day and headed downstairs. Her parents weren't exactly the domestic types, either, but they tried. Her dad was reading the newspaper in the living room and her mom was burning bacon and serving runny eggs for breakfast.
"Hungry, Quinnie?" Her mom held up the charred bacon with a spatula.
"Sure." Quinn had to give Judy an A for effort.
Judy served up three plates and set them all on the table.
"Russell, come eat breakfast."
Her dad grumbled from the living room. "I'm fine with my coffee."
Quinn picked up a fork and moved her eggs across the plate, trying to summon the courage to actually eat them.
"So Quinn, how's school?"
She cringed at the question. Just as Quinn had learned everything about high school from TV, she's pretty sure her mother learned everything about raising a teenage daughter from TV, as well. It was only one of maybe five questions her mother had asked since they moved here. She rotated them every day. Sometimes, she'd even use them all up in one day.
"It's fine. I'm enjoying glee club."
"Oh well, you have a lovely voice. I'm sure they're happy to have you."
Quinn couldn't help but think of Rachel at this moment. What was she doing right now? Was she eating breakfast? Still sleeping? Already on her way to school? She shook the thoughts of the brunette out of her head and tried to focus on the obligatory small talk between her and her mother.
"Yeah."
Judy was silent for a moment, watching her daughter play with her food like a five-year-old.
"Are you okay, sweetie?"
'No, I'm not okay. You moved me out in the middle of nowhere and I want to go home where I belong.' Quinn fought every urge to say this to her mother, but all she did was nod.
"Quinn, who's Rachel?"
She abruptly stopped pushing her eggs around and dropped her fork.
"Why?"
"Well, a girl named Rachel called last night. You know I don't like you giving out our number. It's not safe."
"I didn't! I mean…I…I think I meant to give her my cell phone number. Maybe I gave her the land line by mistake." It wasn't a mistake. Quinn had given her both. She had written them down on the note she left in Rachel's locker to meet her at the Lima Bean a couple weeks ago in hopes that she would use one of them. She tried to hide her smile from Judy.
"Well, she called your cell phone, too."
Quinn panicked realizing she had left her phone in the kitchen last night.
"You looked at my cell phone?" Turning things around on her mother was the only way she'd get out of the third degree.
"It was right there. And the buzzing was driving me crazy."
"That is my property! You have no right to do that!" Quinn angrily stood up and grabbed her cell phone from the counter.
"Last I checked, I'm your mother and I can do pretty much what I want in respects to raising you." Judy kept her voice calm as she poured more coffee.
"You never looked through my phone before."
"Well, now things are different. I should have been monitoring it a long time ago." She stood up to face Quinn. "Now tell me, who's Rachel?"
Quinn glared at her mother. "She's in the glee club, okay? Why does it matter?"
"I'm just wondering why she keeps calling you. And it was pretty late at night."
Quinn couldn't believe what her mother was saying. A year ago, it didn't even matter if Quinn strolled in at 5am after a party at Brittany Snow's house. It didn't even seem to matter to her parents that she was a minor and was out drinking. They were too busy enjoying the fruits of her child labor to care. And now all of a sudden, they wanted to know about every single detail of her life. It was infuriating.
"She probably wanted to go over this week's glee assignment." Quinn honestly didn't know why she called, but suddenly, getting to school was the most important thing right now. She had to know. Before she could storm out, her mother threw another question her way.
"Well, what about that Finn boy? He called you, too. You should call him back and see what he wants."
Quinn looked down at her phone. Sure enough, there were two missed calls. One from Rachel and one from Finn.
"I'll see him at school." She grabbed her bag and took a few more steps toward the door.
"Also, your agent called."
That caught her attention and she turned around. "And?"
"They've decided to officially push the release back to May. They want to make it a summer movie."
Quinn's face fell. Her last hope of getting back to LA before the end of the year was severed.
"What about reshoots?"
"They don't need any. Press tour starts in April. Release is May 15th." Her mother said it so matter-of-factly, like she didn't know that each word was breaking Quinn's heart.
Defeated, she nodded and walked out the door.
Quinn only saw Rachel once before glee. It was while she was walking to the cafeteria for lunch. She spotted Santana first and half-heartedly waved at her. After whispering something to Rachel in front of her locker, Santana then pulled her into the nearest janitor's closet and closed the door. It all happened within a span of ten seconds. Quinn stopped in the middle of the hallway after witnessing it. Her legs were no longer taking requests and she was stuck, unsure of where to go. Her hunger had subsided and a nauseating feeling had taken over. What exactly was going on with those two? It seemed like they didn't even really like each other and now suddenly they can't keep their hands off each other? And what did this mean for Rachel? Was she…gay? Had she actually enjoyed that kiss they shared together? Had Quinn inadvertently started something for Rachel Berry, sending her on a mission of exploration and debauchery with Santana?
It was too much for her to think about and the moment her legs started working again, she ran to the bathroom and hid in the corner stall, unseen by the rest of the world. It was pathetic, really. If her friends could see her now: Quinn Fabray, spending her lunch time hiding in the bathroom like some bullied band geek. Or were band geeks not bullied here? Maybe just actresses were.
Glee was held in the auditorium again and it came and went in the natural fashion. She took her seat next to Finn, but made sure she was in Rachel's line of sight. As different people performed, she occasionally looked back to see Rachel and Santana playfully tease each other. Then, she watched Brittany and wondered how she felt about all this. Finn had told her it was the worst kept secret in Glee that Brittany and Santana were an item. Brittany seemed occupied with the strings on her hoodie, trying to untie the knot on the left one. She looked up at Quinn and smiled.
"I wonder whose job it is to tie these knots. Must be a former Girl Scout or something because they're really good. I've been working on this one for days."
Quinn smiled and Brittany blissfully went back to picking at the knotted string, ignoring the display going on behind her. Quinn wished she was able to turn a blind eye like Brittany did. And she wished she knew why seeing Rachel and Santana flirt like that bothered her so much. It didn't make any sense to her. They didn't make any sense. She viewed Rachel as the embodiment of innocence, but perhaps there was more to her than she thought.
Once Glee Club was over and everybody cleared out, Quinn stayed seated in the second row. She waved Finn off when he asked if she was coming and once the place was empty, she walked up to the stage, past the curtain and toward the left wing. It was relatively empty with the exception of a few boxes of supplies marked "Cheerios," some random chairs and a few music stands. She took a seat in one of the chairs, rested her elbows on her knees and lowered her head. It was dead silent. Normally, she couldn't handle sitting in silence for too long, but this was needed. Thoughts and images of Rachel swirled around in her head and she needed to expel them immediately. Meditation might just be the only way to cope.
That wasn't going to happen today, though. She heard very distinct footsteps coming up the stairs and onto the stage. Quinn lifted her head and saw Rachel peeking through the curtains.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"I thought you might be here." Rachel slowly stepped toward her. "Mind if I join you?"
Quinn stood up. "I was just leaving, actually."
"Oh." There was a hint of disappointment on Rachel's face.
"You called me last night?" Quinn needed to see the brunette's facial expression change.
"Yeah. I hope that's okay. I just wanted to say hi." Rachel took a few steps forward. "You know…a friendly phone call."
The emphasis was on the word "friendly" and it did not go unnoticed by Quinn.
"Sorry. I didn't hear my phone. And I went to bed pretty early." Quinn felt more trapped the closer Rachel came. There was an exit door to her left, but knowing her luck, it was probably locked.
"And here I thought you were ignoring me," joked Rachel.
Quinn smiled. "No, I wasn't ignoring you." That would be impossible, wouldn't it? Because no matter how hard she tried, Quinn could not get Rachel Berry out of her head.
"So…do you think you'll ever actually try a solo in Glee?" Rachel rested her hand on the back of one of the chairs, stopping herself from walking any closer to Quinn.
Quinn took it as a sign. She would have to cover the distance if she wanted to be any closer to her. One step at a time was the best she could do.
"I will eventually. I think I just need to find my groove." She took another step closer.
"You have an amazing voice. You know that," assured Rachel, her eyes peering out from her long, brunette locks.
Quinn bit her lip and took another step closer. The only thing separating them now was the chair Rachel was standing behind. For some reason, Quinn's breath wavered. Her stomach twisted and turned like she was on a rollercoaster. How was it possible that just breathing the same air as Rachel could have this effect on her? She reached her hand out, grabbed the chair and moved it out of their way. Now there was nothing between them but a few inches of air.
"I promise I'll answer my phone the next time you call."
Rachel looked up at her and nodded. She took a small step back and shyly stuck her hands into her pockets. Was this closeness making her uncomfortable? Quinn decided to test it by taking another step toward her. Rachel leaned back slightly and looked around at anything but Quinn.
"How are things with Santana?"
That grabbed her attention. Rachel looked back at Quinn at the sound of Santana's name. Quinn didn't really want to know the answer, but she wanted to keep the conversation going.
"Oh…she's good. Really good."
Rachel smiled on the 'really good' part, leaving Quinn to ultimately think of them hooking up. It wasn't a fun thought for her and she refused to delve into why it bothered her so much. She had resolved to keep Rachel as on-the-surface as possible. Yes, they were supposedly friends now, but the more she thought about her, the less she wanted to know about her personal life. Especially with Santana. The further she delved into anything, the further away from reality she felt. She was already in a strange place with strange people. Quinn hadn't really been herself in years. She had been too busy taking on the personality of each character she played to really allow herself to just be her and to think about what that meant. With Rachel, she felt like it was actually okay to be herself, and that terrified her. There was only one other person who made her feel that way and that ended in disaster.
Being in such close proximity to Rachel, Quinn suddenly felt claustrophobic. She took a few deep breaths and a couple steps back.
"Are you okay?" Rachel followed her.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I just need a minute." She felt like she was going to faint and sat down in one of the chairs.
Rachel rushed toward her to help her into the seat, but Quinn immediately stood back up, suddenly regaining her strength.
"I'm fine. Really."
"You're sure?" Rachel had a grip on Quinn's arm.
"Yeah." Her head still felt light, but her breathing was back to normal. "I should probably get home."
"Okay."
They turned to go, but neither of them saw the box of supplies in front of them. They both tripped and fell over the box, spilling the contents everywhere. Quinn rolled to her left and avoided hitting her head, but felt a sharp pain in her arm. She realized her arm had broken Rachel's fall. She slowly rolled back over and slightly hovered over Rachel. The brunette's eyes were closed as if waiting for some other kind of disaster to happen.
"Hey," Quinn giggled. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just really, really embarrassed."
Quinn's arm was starting to feel the pressure of Rachel's weight, but she soldiered on without saying a word about it. With her other hand, she moved a few strands of hair out of Rachel's face.
"The worst is over. I promise. You can open your eyes now."
The moment Quinn was met with Rachel's brown eyes, her brain stopped working. She knew what she wanted to say next, but couldn't formulate a sentence. Her fingers traced Rachel's hair from her temple to behind her ear and kept repeating that motion as a way of soothing her. She could hear Rachel trying to catch her breath as her chest rose and fall with every pant. The adrenaline that shot through Quinn's body during the fall was now replaced by an entirely different euphoric feeling. She lingered just inches away from Rachel's face, searching for something. An invitation perhaps, to close her eyes and lean in even closer. Quinn licked her lips in anticipation, trying hard to hide her nervousness. Her eyes moved down and studied Rachel's lips, then moved back up to seek approval. But something felt off. Rachel's eyes were no longer focused on hers. They were looking past her, almost as if she wasn't even there. The weight on her arm had been lifted as Rachel rolled over and tried to get up as gracefully as possible.
Feeling deflated, Quinn lay there for a second, then got up and dusted off her jeans. The feeling in her arm was starting to come back, and all she could feel was pins and needles as she flexed and released her hand, trying to get the circulation back.
"Well, that was unexpected," joked Rachel.
Quinn smiled as best she could.
"Hopefully we didn't do too much damage-"
Before Rachel could even finish her sentence, one of the cardboard confetti cannons from the box exploded. The boom echoed through the entire theater and it blasted confetti everywhere. Both girls jumped at the sound and covered their ears. Quinn and Rachel stared at each other in disbelief as thousands of bits of colored tissue paper fell all around them, landing on their heads, shoulders and Quinn could swear she felt a few pieces go down her shirt. Rachel broke first. Her smirk turned into a full-fledged laughing fit. Once she saw Rachel laughing, Quinn couldn't help but laugh along. Soon, they were both doubled over. Quinn's stomach muscles began to cramp from the laughter, but she didn't care. It really was quite a hysterical situation. And definitely the ultimate tension breaker.
"We should get out of here before someone sees us," suggested Quinn.
"Yeah," agreed Rachel. "I do not want to experience the wrath of Sue when she finds out who did this."
They took off running and tried their luck at the exit door in the back of the theater. They ended up out by the south parking lot where Quinn parked her car. Quinn squinted her eyes trying to adjust to the light.
"Where are you parked?" she asked with her hand over her eyes.
"I'm on the other side."
They walked over toward Quinn's car. With two beeps, the car doors unlocked.
"Hop in. I'll give you a ride."
"That's okay. I can walk."
Quinn cocked her head and looked at Rachel. Why was she being so resistant? She walked around to the passenger side and opened the door.
"It's the least I can do."
Rachel gave Quinn a side smile. "Well, if you insist."
They lingered in front of the passenger door for a moment. Quinn opened her mouth to speak, but something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. A man with a large camera exploded out of the bushes like a freaking Velociraptor.
"Quinn! Over here! Is this where you've been hiding?"
It took her a moment to realize what was actually happening. She hadn't been hounded by the paparazzi in months. Not since she left L.A. She had finally let her guard down and gotten used to the fact that no one was chasing her in Lima. But once the flashes and questions started, she quickly tried to assess and evade the situation.
"What the hell?" Quinn all but pushed Rachel into the passenger seat and closed the door immediately, trying to protect her from the blinding light.
"Quinn! What have you been doing this whole time? Is it true you're supposed to be in rehab?"
Quinn made her way around the car to the driver seat while shielding her face from the camera lens.
"No comment."
"Who's that in the car with you, Quinn?"
It was only one man, as opposed to a group of them, but he was relentless. And it was only a matter of time before word would get out. Soon, there would be more.
"No comment."
Quinn jumped in the car, turned the ignition and carefully pulled out the parking lot, trying not to take out the paparazzo that was crowding her car. She was out of breath and white as a ghost. Rachel sat quietly next to her.
"I'm so sorry about that," wheezed a breathless Quinn. "I had no idea he was there."
"It's okay," replied Rachel. "It just…startled me." She glanced over at Quinn's torso. "Can you please put on your seatbelt? You're doing 80."
Quinn blushed thinking about the fact that Rachel was actually concerned for her. She reached over and pulled the seatbelt over her shoulder and snapped it in place.
"Better?"
Rachel nodded. "So, does that happen to you a lot?"
"Yeah." Quinn's hands gripped the steering wheel as she eased her foot off the gas a bit. "Not here, but back at home it happened a lot. I have no idea how he found me."
Rachel shrugged. "I guess all it takes is one phone call to TMZ from some local trying to get a taste of fame."
"And here I thought everyone in Lima was wholesome and trustworthy." She flashed a smile over at Rachel. "Look, I don't think it's safe to go back to school just yet. Do you mind if we leave your car there? I can take you home and then pick you up for school tomorrow."
"Sounds like we don't really have any other option."
Quinn smiled and pushed further down on the gas pedal. The incidents over the past hour were the most exciting events she's experienced in a while. There was enough adrenaline pumping through her to last her for days.
Later that week, Quinn's strides were a little longer and there was an extra spring in her step walking through the halls of McKinley High. When she drove Rachel to school the morning after the paparazzi episode, things were a little less awkward than they had been. Perhaps the hilarity of the confetti cannon incident was what they needed to ease the tension between them. They had even exchanged a couple of friendly texts over the past few days. Regardless of how Rachel made her feel, she was glad to at least have a friend. Someone to text when her idle hands were driving her crazy.
She walked by Rachel's locker hoping to at least catch a glimpse of her before class. Sure enough, she was there applying lip gloss with her locker door open.
"Hey." Quinn coyly leaned against the locker next to Rachel's.
"Good morning," Rachel's smile was very noticeable.
"How was the rest of Carousel?" Quinn was referring to Rachel's last text the night before in which she revealed that she loved falling asleep to musicals. Last night's choice was Carousel – a film Quinn had never seen.
"Tragically beautiful as always. I only cried once, though. Usually it's more, but I fell asleep before the end, so it saved me from shedding more tears."
"Well that explains the radio silence after my last text."
"Yeah, sorry." Rachel closed her locker and started walking with Quinn. Their forward trajectory was interrupted by a lively young Latina who bounded over to them and practically knocked Rachel over with a rather aggressive hug.
"Hey you. I missed you this morning." Santana ran her hands down the length of Rachel's arms and leaned into her seductively. It was a move that made Quinn sick to her stomach, yet somehow she couldn't look away. It was like a car accident. She was ashamed for looking, but was way too intrigued not to.
Santana pulled away from Rachel, but kept her arm around her shoulder.
"Sorry I fell asleep so early. You wore me out," Santana informed Rachel, obviously not caring that she had an audience.
Confusion and panic took hold of Quinn and she looked at Rachel questioningly. Was Santana there last night? While they were texting each other? Of course, why would it matter? They're obviously dating, or hooking up, or whatever they want to call it. Why should she care what Rachel does on her own time?
"She was over at your house last night?" Quinn tried to sound as nonchalant as possible while posing the question to Rachel.
"Oh yeah. We had ourselves a little sleepover." Santana took it upon herself to answer the question. "Popped in a little Carousel to wind down."
It was in that moment where fury, pain, frustration and disappointment formed together to create a perfect storm of emotion inside of Quinn. Santana had stayed the night at Rachel's. And she was texting her like an idiot. Sure, they were friends now, so why wouldn't she text her? But the least Rachel could have done was tell her she had company.
Rachel protested. "Uh…no, it really wasn't like th-"
"Rachel, don't you have to get to class?" Santana cut her off before Rachel could continue.
"Um…yeah. Okay. I'll see you guys later. Bye, Quinn."
When Rachel headed off to her next class, Quinn pursed her lips, trying to avoid eye contact with Santana. She turned and walked away, but Santana ran to catch up with her.
"You like her."
Quinn stopped and turned to the Cheerio. She really wasn't in the mood to engage. "She's very sweet."
"Yeah, yeah, sweet as fucking pie and all that good stuff. But what I mean is, you want her."
"What?" Quinn threw her head back incredulously.
"You want her. I see the way you look at her."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Quinn started walking again with Santana keeping her pace at her side.
"Oh no? You do know that as a newly gay lady, I have a sixth sense about these things, don't you?"
"I'm not gay," replied a defiant Quinn.
"Oh, of course not. I suppose you're right. Hot, sexy, famous Quinn Fabray likes girls? Couldn't be. That would just be too damaging to her reputation."
Quinn felt her shoulders tense. "Santana, please stop talking."
"You know you want her. Would it kill you to admit it?"
Quinn stopped in her tracks once more. She fought every impulse to vocalize her internal words: 'I think it might.' A lump began to form in her throat. She needed to be somewhere else right now. Not in the middle of a hallway and not in the middle of this conversation with Santana Lopez.
"Too bad," continued Santana. "You missed out. We're very happy together." Just before walking away, she leaned in for the kill and whispered to Quinn, "Plus, she's a great lay."
Quinn watched as Santana disappeared into the classroom. She could feel the rage and turmoil building up inside her. Why would Santana share that piece of information with her? Was that really necessary? Why was she rubbing her relationship with Rachel in her face? Quinn needed a release. She could feel her wrath overflowing. Or maybe it wasn't wrath. Could it possibly be jealousy? Either way, it was about to explode. Quinn found herself pounding her fists against a locker as an infuriated grunt escaped her lips. Her heart jumped at the sound. She even scared herself in this moment and now her hands were aching. Skin and bone on metal wasn't a fun combination.
Quinn Fabray was obviously someone with a lot of passion and a lot of rage. Sometimes those lines would tend to blur.
