Chapter Eight
Monday 21st July
16:45
Home
I'm just about to make dinner before I start my night shift. I'm working with Angelo again. Oh, the joy.
Today was all a bit strange really. I decided last night that I am going to stop hanging around waiting for Roman to be interested in me. He either likes me or he doesn't and I'm tired of being messed around.
So of course, rather than tackle anything head on, I opted to avoid him like the plague. I even went as far as sending Ruby in with the cash to get coffees for us this morning. Of course, she knows me inside out and was perfectly aware of my avoidance issues and called me on it. I explained and she didn't think my plan of action was a good one. But then, she never does. We are chalk and cheese when it comes to the way we deal with people. She also pointed out that I must like Roman a lot if I'm this hurt by him messing me around. Let's face it, I'm not a stranger to being messed around by guys.
I think I do like him a lot. He's good looking and kind and safe. Everyone thinks the world of him so he's not going to be a dangerous guy. The only thing wrong with him is that I'm the last thing on his mind. Unfortunately, that feels like quite a big thing right now. A girl needs to feel wanted.
Even though I have no interest in him and I don't think he's for real, at least Angelo makes me feel wanted. I think he'd be a lovely boyfriend really. I think he'd put his girlfriend at the centre of his universe. All I wish now was that Roman would do the same.
Anyway, to make matters worse, Roman then appeared with flowers. He apologised to me for not being around and my heart leapt at the thought that he was changing and wanting to make things up to me. I immediately forgave him and then watched him leave in order to take the flowers to Martha in hospital. Astute as ever, Ruby knew I'd hoped the flowers were for me. She said she'd thought it too so at least I wasn't the only one who'd got it wrong. I feel like an idiot for being so damn disappointed but I can't help it. Why doesn't he care about me?
Tuesday 22nd July
04:32
Work
Well, it's been a fairly long shift so far. After the debacle with Roman earlier, he called me. I headed round to see him before work and again, I was full of hope that it was a social thing. But... no. He wants me to do a background check on this guy, Elliot.
He and Nicole are spending more time together than Roman is comfortable with and he says he doesn't trust me. I did what he asked and there is nothing dodgy in Elliot's past or present so I think Roman is just being overprotective. And he can be as overprotective as he wants because he doesn't have a girlfriend or anything remotely similar to worry about. I'm over it. I want nothing to do with him. He's missed his chance. Ruby reckons he must be crazy not to want me so I expect him to be in a padded cell sometime soon. He definitely doesn't want me and I'm sick and tired of wanting him. I can do better.
So far, my shift has been pretty standard. Ruby called me to say goodnight as she usually does and I got called out to the Surf Club because that guy, Jimmy, from my first work day here, was causing a disturbance. I took him to the hospital because he ended up cutting his hand on a glass.
I caught up with Jack briefly. He is seriously struggling. I can hardly believe what he and Martha are going through right now. I feel so sad for them.
Well, I'd better stop writing and get on with my shift. There's always plenty to do.
Tuesday 22nd July
14:52
Home
On my way back from my shift this morning, I saw Nicole and Elliot on the beach. Figuring I was only prolonging things if I didn't go and see Roman before I went to sleep, I headed over and told him that it looked like Elliot was taking Nicole fishing. I also informed him that he doesn't have a record of any kind. I pointed out that he was probably just being overprotective but he didn't seem convinced. Then I left. He almost looked like he wanted me to stay but I didn't want to.
I headed over to the Diner to get breakfast before I went home and he caught up with me there. I know I was off with him. I was probably rude but I'm tired of being treated like a plaything. He did apologise and seemed to take it on board when I told him that if you were into someone, you made time for them. I left after that and caught a few hours sleep and now I just about feel human enough to face the day again. I am so glad I'm not working tonight.
Thursday 24th July
11:23
The Beach
Okay, so quite a lot has happened over the last few days and I am grateful for a day off so I can catch up with myself. So, what's been happening?
Well, for starters, Roman and I appear to be back on. We've spent a fair bit of time together and I stayed at his place twice this week.
It all started on Tuesday night. I ventured to the Surf Club for a drink and had an okay time. I talked a little with Tony as we are both worried about Jack. Then that guy, Elliot approached me and a pretty much threatened me. It didn't bother me but it pissed me off and I figured it was something Roman would probably want to know. So, I headed round and told him and then went to leave but he asked me to stay. He apologised for not treating me properly and told me that he likes me. So, I stayed.
We made out for a while and then when I was upstairs using the bathroom, Jack came round. Roman is officially the father of Martha's baby. I thought that he would kick me out after that. Every time we get close, something usually happens and he doesn't want me to stay. But this time, even though he was totally thrown, he didn't ask me or agree to me suggesting I left.
We talked about it all for a while and then we spent the night together. It was nice. It wasn't exactly as passionate as the first time but it was nice and for once, I opted to stay the night. I left before breakfast but I didn't sneak out while he was asleep. If I want him to treat me nicely, then I need to do the same, after all.
After I'd got home and showered yesterday morning, I headed to the Surf Club for a workout, which I found really refreshing and invigorating. I bumped into Roman and felt comfortable enough to ask him for a drink that evening. I felt like we were pretty close the previous night. I mean, we had sex for goodness sake. But he wasn't keen and said he needed to talk to Nicole.
I pretty much demanded to know where we stand. He basically said that he wants to see me but he wants to keep it casual. It's not what I want exactly but I can cope. Maybe in time something more will come of it. And it's not like I have ever wanted to do the big committed thing before now. I'm not that kind of girl, really.
So, yes. I can deal. We can make it work. And so far, it's going pretty well. I caught up with him a little later and confirmed my agreement with the casual thing and he was pleased. We kissed but then got interrupted by Jack who was ranting and raving.
He'd asked Roman to convince Martha to go ahead with treatment, regardless of the risk to the baby but Roman had just told her he would go along with whatever she wanted. It obviously pissed Jack off. It must be such an awful time for him right now. He loves Martha so much and to risk watching her die for the sake of a baby that's been fathered by another guy must be awful. I'm really worried about him.
I spent the night with Roman again. It was nice, although he was pretty distracted what with everything going on with Martha, Jack, Nicole and Elliot. But at least he was with me. I stayed the whole night again. I must be growing up.
Friday 25th July
23:03
Home
I worked all day and had to listen to Angelo going on and on most of the shift about me missing out because he had a date with Belle. I thought she was with Aden but it looks like they've split up or fallen out or something. Anyway, Angelo was even more full of himself than usual.
I didn't see Roman today except in passing but Ruby and I have indulged in a really nice girlie night with DVD's and junk food and as much as I like Roman, spending time with Rubes is still the best time I could ever have. I love that girl so much. I hope she knows.
Sunday 27th July
12:58
The Beach
I had a nice weekend. Ruby and I went into Yabbie Creek to do shopping and lunch and I bought a new outfit which I wore out to dinner with Roman.
We finally got to do the dinner date that got spoiled a few weeks ago. I got the romantic table with the good view and everything and it was great. I spent the night with him again and now I am on the beach before I wander off home. I got breakfast in bed, would you believe? I definitely really like him.
Next time… Jack arrests Roman, Charlie accidentally tells Roman that she's falling in love with him and Elliot gives Nicole and her friends diving lessons…
