September 18th, 2005 about 10 pm.
Tonight… I experienced a myriad of emotions: Sadness, determination, happiness, and annoyance. I should probably start from where I left off.
As you know, I was sitting in a cage on account of that slime ball Victor Quartermaine. Just as I was about to give up, a beacon of light shone from above… literally! It was Hutch sitting in Wallace's room exclaiming random names of cheeses. That gave me a brilliant beyond brilliant idea. I took the handle of a broken shovel that I tried to use to escape and threw it at a pest detecting lawn gnome. The next thing I knew, Hutch was driving crazily in reverse which broke the cage.
"Job well done, lad!" Hutch said in a Wallace like manner as he laughed like him. As I dusted myself off, I got another brilliant beyond brilliant idea, but it required a great sacrifice. I went to the green-house to get my melon so it could attract the Were-Rabbit once I and Hutch got to the veg competition. I took a hatchet and cut the melon off of the vine. Hutch and I got into the car and drove to the veg competition and I tied up my precious melon as Hutch randomly said things that Wallace said. Once we got to the veg competition, I tied up the melon to the back of the car. Then, a huge mound started going towards the judging area where the competition was taking place, which meant that the were-rabbit sensed the vegetables. I gestured at Hutch to start driving once I saw the townspeople freaking out about Mrs. Mulch running away from the Were-Rabbit; people kept on saying "COME BACK! GO AWAY!" Just as Victor was about to shoot the Were-Rabbit, I zoomed past on the melon which made the were-rabbit chase after the melon. Wallace burst out of the ground and started chasing after the car. Then he stopped. He saw Quartermaine tug-o-war-ing over the Golden Carrot award with Lady Tottington which made Wallace conk Quartermaine over the head which made his toupee look like a furry toilet seat. Wallace took Lady Tottington and people started selling gardening supplies as angry mob supplies. This turned the situation into something you'd see on King Kong. Yes, Wallace leapt onto the roof and beat his chest, which made the other rabbits in the area do the same thing. Okay… back to me. Hutch, being the doofus he is, didn't look where he was driving while I was surfing on the melon. He crashed into the cheese tent which made me go flying face first into my melon. There I saw my prized melon… squished to a pulp. I then decided I couldn't worry about that right then. My master's life was at stake. As I was running out of the tent, I ran in to PHILLIP, THE UGLIEST DOG EVER! He randomly barked at me and I ran to the airplane ride, there I put in the coins, took off the child limiter and revved out of there. Then I saw Wallace on the roof running away from Quartermaine. I chased after them both, but little did I know, Phillip was behind me in a plane that looked just like the Red Baron's. He rammed up against me until he supposedly crashed and burned on the ground, but he held on and almost attacked me when I least expected it. He swung the shovel he was holding at me and we were going at it until the plane stopped, meaning we needed to deposit more coins. I looked through my pockets and only got a few buttons and a piece of lint. Phillip made me hold his weapon and took out a coin purse with a flower on it, took out some coins and went back to fighting. I finally used the bomb doors and Phillip popped a bouncy Tottington Hall that was just below us. I finally caught up to Wallace who was on a tower. I ran into Victor Quartermaine which made his pants catch on to a weathervane and expose his rear end.
"Beware the moon!" The vicar shouted, referring to Victor's unusually pale rear end. I kept flying to get to Wallace, but when I got there, Victor had already pulled up his pants and aimed his gun at Wallace and said "Eat karat, bunny boy," Referring to the golden carrot. He shot and I sped up that I actually started flying. It was sort of like something you would see in THE MATRIX. There were actually energy waves coming off from the carrot! Anyway, as I took off, I grabbed on to a rope that was conveniently nearby so my plane could be hit instead of Wallace. The makeshift bullet hit my plane and Victor threw his gun to the ground, jumped on it, and said "AAARRRGH!!! POTTY POO!" I gave Wallace a high five. When I realized what I had done, I was hurdling toward the ground and Wallace grabbed on to the plane to cushion my fall. We crashed in to the cheese and cracker tent. When we landed, I heard Victor say, "No one defeats Victor Quartermaine." He was then knocked out and he fell into the cheese tent, too. He then fainted. Then I got another idea. I put him in the rabbit suit, zipped him up and sent him out into the mob that would chase him out of town. When I got back into the tent, Lady Tottington was there and we saw that Wallace was dead. He transformed back into a person and me, Lady Tottington, and a bunch of rabbits cried together. Then I suddenly got another idea when I saw Hutch eating some cheese. I grabbed a chunk from him and waved it under Wallace's nose. He then came back to life and we hugged each other. Lady Tottington and he were about to hug, but she saw he was naked, so I put a box over his nakedness that said "May contain nuts." I shall write in you later on account of over excitement and writer's cramp.
-Gromit
