Mixed Signals
By: PhoenixJustice
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. I only own this story and make no profit from this.
Warning: Rated M for sexual content, language, etc.
Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers (main), Willow/Tara, etc.
Setting: Bargaining pt 2/Afterlife, with spoilers up to Season 11 of Buffy, Season 11 of Angel and anything inbetween.
Summary: Two people who were never supposed to meet. She had seen everything, up to the Dragon that destroyed everything she loved. He had only the lasting memory of her words of love before he burned to cinders. Could they bridge the gap between them?
A/N: Flashbacks in italics.
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Chapter Eight - Hells Bells
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"They're not going to be happy." Buffy says idly as they continue the walking they had been doing for the past few minutes.
Spike pauses briefly, brow raised. "Did you want to-"
"No." She tells him. "This is...well, if they forgive us, they'll forgive us. But I want to be with you."
He seems to glow a bit at that, his eyes alight with love for her as he briefly touches her face.
"Love you." He murmurs.
"I love you too."
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She hadn't ever known about this place, the first time around. They were deep underground in Sunnydale's underbelly. Not near the Hellmouth, but closer still to the fallen churches that had once been the dwelling place of The Master. There was a set of catacombs, from what she could see, as they pass further and further. She sees a few people here and there; demons, vampires, other people still who were perhaps human or half-human, all sorts.
None acknowledge her directly, which she can't blame them for, considering her status as the Slayer. One of the things she had decided shortly after returning to this time and place was to change a lot of her former ideals and the like. She wanted to find more of a common ground in a place where she hadn't ever let there be one before.
She sees panels of stained glass, like the ones in old churches. These were not paned with the depiction of the Virgin Mary or Jesus or other Christian ideology, but were instead beautifully done with depictions of various things in nature or the like; trees, the sky, wolves, the sun...all were different things on each pane but they didn't clash. Instead the mosiac of colors and things blended together to find this harmonious whole.
"All of this beauty..." She murmurs. Things like this, that she hadn't once known about, the beauty of these things...she felt cheated for a moment that she hadn't known them until now. But still, she was able to know them now, so she shouldn't feel so cheated, should she? "Did you...I mean..."
Spike looks over at her, concern in his face. "Slayer?"
"Did you...come here with someone else before?"
His face clears and he looks at her with tender eyes. "No, pet. Not in the way you mean." Her shoulders relax at that and he continues. "Dru could be particular about churches sometimes, in her mania, after all that Angelus had did to her, but places like this...she never wanted to come here."
He pauses long enough that she prompts him to speak again. "Spike?"
He starts a bit, shaking his head. "Sorry, luv. What was I saying?"
"What were you thinking?" She asks quietly.
"I kept thinking I'd like to bring you here, back then, when I first realized I loved you." He says, looking away from her, his eyes on the colored panels of glass. "Never much thought you would ever want to, but I still hoped..." He visibly swallows. "I was born a romantic man and I...never lost that. Always wanted to find a place to be with the person I loved, to know just how much they reciprocated that love."
"Thought about it even more," He continues. "After you jumped. When I would be on my own after making sure Bit was alright for the night. The nights kept me up as bad as the days then. I'd think of how to save you. I wouldn't fail that time. And then...sometimes you wouldn't say anything, but you'd let me lead you by the hand and I'd show you all these things, things that demons made, that vampires made, to show you that we could make beautiful things to. That we could do things besides break them. I'd show you..."
He cuts off, emotion clogging his voice and she reaches out for him, his face in her hands. He looks at her with eyes that pierce through her. Even if he didn't have his soul, he'd still be full of these deep and full emotions. He had been feeling these things before, back when she hadn't wanted to acknowledge him as being a real, feeling, being. When she had been so stuck on her own loathing for herself, for being pulled out of Heaven, that she hadn't acknowledged the one person who would always accept her unconditionally; good or evil, happy or sad, everything...
"It's beautiful, William. Thank you for showing me. Thank you for sharing this. It's wonderful."
"You mean it?" He whispers, the soft boy who hadn't ever lost the desire for love, no matter how much arrogance and swagger he affected in his daily life.
"A hundred percent." She promises him, stroking his dear face. "We waited a long time for it, didn't we? But I'm glad. I'm glad you brought me here to this place when I could properly appreciate it and it's beauty. Thank you. I can't think of any other place now where I'd want to marry you."
His eyes close briefly and he kisses her hand before opening his eyes back, smiling at her. She pulls her hands back, taking one of his in her own. His cool grip a steadying, loving, presence as it had become to her.
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The panels of glass lead to a stone alcove far in the back, with a single wooden door. It looked like a simple wooden door, by all she could see. She looks at him, a question in her eyes.
He nods to the door, his hand never leaving hers. "Open and see, luv."
Her curiosity was even more piqued now and she walks forward, hand in hand with Spike, using her free hand to grab at the door handle. It opens easily and quietly. Instantly the tableau of mosaic glass she had seen beforehand was nothing compared to the size and beauty of the glass here. It was like an interwoven tapestry of fire and beauty, leading to the largest panels of stained glass she had ever seen.
The largest pieces of the slowly growing glass, with the smaller glass on either side of the room and getting larger the further you walked into the room, had the biggest depictions she had ever seen on stained glass. To the left held the Egyptian God Ra, the God of the Sun, the creator deity of Egyptian mythology. In his hands were not the implements associated with him. Rather, he held the sun in his hands.
His hands held the sun, the symbol of life, out to an Egyptian figure that looked sort of familiar to her, but one she couldn't place.
"Who is...?" She starts to ask.
"Neith." Spike tells her. "One of the other major creator deities in Egyptian myth. Usually people put Ra with Sekhmet or Hathor, which made me like this thing even more to see something different."
"A whole Egyptian worshipping place in the depths of Sunnydale?" Buffy murmurs. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Especially since Ra is God of the Sun. But why is he handing over the sun to her? Doesn't the sun usually set on the top of his head?"
He nods approvingly at her, the poet-scholar still there, despite the additions of leather and swagger. "Usually, yeh. Can't think of another depiction of Ra where he's done something like this. But he's handing over the sun to her. It's a sign of equality. Of sharing. Showing that he wants to share everything with her. Share his life with hers."
He looks at her now much more intently, making her heart beat all the faster.
She outstretches her hands, mirroring the much, much larger hands above them of Neith's which are stretched out to grab the sun, the life, that Ra was holding out to her-and grasps Spike's hands, accepting the shared life he wanted to live with her.
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In the long moments, before she became the Slayer, and the short moments, after she became the Slayer, she allowed herself to think of what her wedding might be like, she had often imagined this grand affair with the usual Cinderella like dress and throngs of people in the pews as she stood next to the person she loved, pledging her love eternally to them.
When she had been younger, it had either been faceless maybes, or faces of celebrities she saw in that role, when she had been a bit older (but still very naive in a lot of ways) it had been Angel she saw in that role. When Willow had cast her spell, it had, funnily enough, grounded her then; during that time, in that spell she thought of a wedding in much more mature terms than she had before that. And during that spell she had been able to showcase the love for Spike which had blossomed sometime before, but she hadn't recognized-a love which, after the spell's end, she had once more denied to herself as being real.
But here now, in the catacombs of Sunnydale's underbelly, instead of finding herself in the large-idealized-dress, instead she finds herself shedding clothes, her mouth finding Spike's again and again as their hands search each others bodies. It had been so long since she had last felt his touch, in a way that didn't remind her of fire and loss.
His hands are a cool balming touch against her heated skin as his mouth moves over hers desperately, their hands desperate and needing as they touch each other, needing that grounding touch, to remind them that they weren't alone, that they had each other, that they hadn't lost each other.
"Never again." She says against his mouth, barely tasting the saltiness of tears that had fallen from her eyes or from Spike's. "I'll never be without you again."
"I promise." He says, shuddering as she sheaths him inside of herself, resting his hands to either side of her body, holding her up in place as she begins to slowly move atop him. "Never leave you alone again. Never. No matter the circumstance."
"I promise." She says, her hands on the back of his neck to pull him back to her, kissing him deeply. She pulls back enough so she can look into his beautiful blue eyes. "No matter the circumstance. I will love you, William Pratt, until the breath leaves my body. And even after. Forever after. My..." She gasps against the build of pleasure of their joined bodies. "My eternity to yours."
"I will love you, Buffy Summers, for the whole of my eternal life. And even after. And I've been dust before. If I'm ever dust again...I'll still find my way back to you, through whatever means. I won't let you be alone again. I promise. My eternity to yours."
They kiss again, as the pleasure reaches its end, making them both cry out, the waves of pleasure crashing deeply through them both. They stay like that for a long moment, clutching each other as the pleasure begins to slowly fade and kiss, a kiss that was probably the most important kiss of her life, the most sweet, the most mature.
She loved William Pratt with all of her heart.
"I do." He says, smiling at her.
"I do." She breathes, kissing him again.
It had been worth it, in the end, to go through the confusion and wonder and mixed signals, to lead back to this point, to find him again, that, however the road had been hard and bumpy in many places, it had been all worth it to find the person she loved most in this world.
And while her story would continue, that Spike's story would continue, that the road would continue from here, for now...she had this slice of peace and happiness and brief moment of reprieve.
She had found her true piece of Heaven.
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A/N: I want to thank everyone who has been on this road with me, reading the story as it's unfolded and evolved! I honestly have to say that this kept turning in directions I didn't expect, but that I love even more so that it did that. I might do a sequel to this at some point, as there is a lot of material I can continue on with to do so, but that is something that will unfortunately have to be on the backburner for so I can continue-and finish-other things I am working on now!
Thank you so much everyone for your support and for reading!
I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I have been writing this!
-PhoenixJustice
