Author's Note: All I can say is don't get excited because daily updates are unlikely to be a regular thing. Song is "God of Wine" by Third Eye Blind.
Chapter Seven: A Fraudulent Zodiac
Jade made her way through the dark of her room to her nightstand, where she found the last of the small stash she'd bought the morning after Cat had died. She sat down on her bed, holding the small plastic bag. She hadn't heard the door close and assumed Tori was still in the house. She thought a moment that maybe she should wait until the other woman left before shooting up, but her desire got the better of her and she dug a needle and spoon out of the nightstand and went into the adjacent bathroom for a candle.
Downstairs, Tori was standing at the door, ready to leave, knowing she was expected back at the house. Trina and Heather would be back by now and Andre and Beck were coming over for dinner. Most of them were planning on leaving town the following day, so this was their last get-together for who knows how long. Maybe just until December, Tori thought. But how could she go home when Jade said something like that? If she was really that far gone? How could Tori live with herself if she went home and then saw Jade's death broadcast on the news everywhere?
She leaned forward, resting her head on the door and blinking back tears. I should just walk away, Tori thought, feeling like she'd somehow been sucked through a wormhole back in time and was having the same argument with herself she'd had so many times senior year,
I can't always be chasing her. It needs to go both ways and it never does. It's always me. I'm always doing all the work...
But... I just...I can't just not care. She's my friend. If nothing else, she's my friend. And I might be her only friend left.
You reap what you sow. If Jade can't be a friend, then she doesn't get a friend.
It's not that simple.
Has she ever done anything for you? Just because you needed it? No.
She gave up her spot in the Platinum Music Awards for me.
After she stole it from you and that was one thing, you can't justify everything she's done with one good deed.
She said she really loved me.
She doesn't know what love is.
She does, of course she does. She just...doesn't know how to show it. Most of the time. Sometimes she shows it very well.
If sex is the only happy memory you have, then it's definitely not a good-
It's not, though. We talked. She sat with me all night when my Mom told me she was marrying Gary less than a month after divorcing Dad. She talked about when her parents split and...
Stop it. Stop making excuses.
And that first time...it wasn't just sex. We...neither of us even knew what we were doing. I'd never been with anyone and she wasn't mean or anything about that. And she'd...she'd never been with a girl. And she...she brought me a flower, remember?
To get laid.
Shut up. It was so...sweet.
So un-Jade.
Yeah, maybe. But she did it all the same.
She probably picked it out of your own garden.
I don't care where she got it, she gave me a flower!
So that's all it takes with you? Are you forgetting what she did to you? You were so miserable you tried to-
Stop it, stop it, stop it. That wasn't her fault. Stop making me feel like I'm a terrible person for...
For loving her? The fact that you can't even say it TO YOURSELF is not a great sign, you know. Besides, you loved her, you don't still love her. You're with Heather now.
I...right. I'm with Heather. I... I love Heather. I-
OH MY GOD.
What?
You can't still love her, Tori. You don't even know her anymore. You guys haven't talked in ten years!
I didn't say-
Tori-
I didn't...I don't know. I feel like I'm going crazy here.
Yeah, obviously.
"This is ridiculous," Tori said aloud, before turning away from the door and looking up the stairs.
I still know her, though. I've always known her and I always will.
Turn around, you idiot!
I'm her only friend. And she needs a friend right now. So how can I just leave?
Because she doesn't treat you the way you deserve.
She's afraid of letting people in. She's always been like that. It's a defense mechanism and when you get past it, it's...it's
Not worth it.
"Completely worth it," Tori mumbled, and started up the stairs.
"Hey guys!" Trina greeted Beck and Andre enthusiastically as she stood aside and let them enter. "Tori should be back soon. She went to see Jade."
"Is that a good idea?" Beck asked, his tone slightly mocking, but slightly sincere. He'd been a little blindsided by the revelation that there had been anything at all between Jade and Tori in high school, though the more he'd thought about it, the more he couldn't believe he'd never noticed.
"Probably not," Trina replied. "Heather is in the shower. That's Tori's financee. She's wonderful and we need to make sure Tori realizes that before she screws something up."
Andre scowled. "I don't understand why Tori is so hellbent on making sure Jade is alright. After everything that's happened-"
"OK, OK, we've all heard your 'Jade's the devil' rants enough this weekend," Beck interrupted him. "Jade is...look, you guys have never known like I do. And like Tori does. So just...don't, OK?"
"I spent all day with a doctor," Trina cut in. "That's right. Tori might ruin her chance to marry a doctor. And she seems to side with Jade too. And I told her everything, well, not everything. I left out Tori and Jade's past, so FYI, guys, no mentioning that when she comes down here. But I told her about Cat and what had happened and she was talking all about addiction and whatever and she seems quite adamant that if we're Jade's friends, we need to help her out and get her off the smack. Now, I informed her kindly that I was never friends with Jade and was more concerned with her issues pulling Tori down into hell because Tori is too good and wants to help, and some people are beyond it. That just made her all mushy about how great Tori was. But my point is, Andre, you are her friend, so maybe you should see about getting her some help?"
"I have! Why does everyone keep saying that to me like it never occurred to me? I've tried over and over. She doesn't care. She doesn't want to quit, so I'm done. This is on her. If she wants to get clean, for real, you can bet I'll be in her corner, but she doesn't. Tori is trying to help a lost cause. She always does."
"Jade isn't a lost cause," Beck said. "She's just...difficult. She's always been difficult. Doesn't mean she isn't worth the extra effort."
"I've given her contacts to more rehab centers than I can count," Andre exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "So did Cat. We even staged an intervention once. Her agent helped us. He even got her out of a contract so that she could get clean. Why do you think she isn't working right now? Do you know how in-demand that girl is? She doesn't care anymore. About anything. How much effort do you want me to put in? She's got a death wish."
Beck sighed, wishing Tori was hear so he would have someone on his side, someone who at least understood Jade a little better. Someone Jade had allowed to know her better.
"Andre's right," Heather said, coming down the stairs. "She needs to want to get clean. She can't have other people force it on her. If anything, that will have the opposite effect. But she still needs your support. Heroin is...it's a tough one. She will be fighting this addiction the rest of her life and she needs someone who will stand by her through it," she explained, pouring herself a glass of white wine. "She needs to decide to quit on her own, but she can't accomplish the quitting without help."
"I get that, it's just-"
"How much do you want to bet that when Tori finally gets here, she's going to tell me she's staying down here longer? That she had to help Jade and she can't do it from home? I'm about ninety percent sure that's what's going to happen. Tori...Tori can be that anchor she needs to get through this storm."
The sympathy for Jade wrecked Trina with guilt, knowing what she did about her sister's relationship with her. She hoped Tori wasn't making a mockery of the trust Heather obviously placed in her.
"I may not know Jade," Heather continued. "But I know Tori and I believe that, if anyone can help her, Tori will be the one to do it."
