Well, people. I'm not going to say anything right now. I'm too sleepy... WAY too sleepy! So lets go straight to fanfiction...
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the songs that will be in this story.
Previously:
I
long to be like you,
lie cold in the ground like you did
there's
room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you
and as we lay in
silent bliss
I know you remember me
I long to be like you
lie cold in the ground like you
there's room inside for two
and I'm not grieving for you
I'm coming for you
By the end of the song, the entire school was in tears. Everyone felt so sad. Remus cried uncontrollably on the ground asking why he had been taken away. Then a voice spoke.
"But Remus! I'm not dead!"
Two Romeos and a Juliet
by: K.L. Bloodfang
Chapter 8: Hogwart's Idol Part Deux
"It cannot be...", whispered Remus in shock. Before him stood Sirius Black, he wore a pair of black pants and a dark, velvety red button shirt opened, mind you, showing his tone, sexy, chest, his wonderful washboard abs and a little down south... (ENOUGH!).
"Of course its me! Who else could it be?", said the sexy, sexy man.
"Prove it! I'll ask you something only the REAL Sirius would now." "Okay!"
"Alright, 'Sirius', what's you favorite food?", asked Remus.
"You! Like DUH!", said Sirius looking at Remus up and down. "You know, I'm getting kind of hungry..."
"SIRIUS! Bad dog!", yelled Remus, trying to hide the blush that appeared on his cheeks. "Anyways, next question. What's your favorite song?"
"My favorite song? I know! In fact, I'm going to sing it for you!" said Sirius. He then took the microphone from Remus' hands just as music began to play.
"Who let the dogs out
(woof,
woof, woof, woof)
(woof, woof, woof, woof)
(woof, woof, woof,
woof)
(woof, woof, woof, woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof,
woof, woof, woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
(woof, woof, woof, woof)
When the party was nice, the
party was jumpin' (Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo)
And everybody havin' a
ball (Hah, ho, Yippie Yi Yo)
I tell the fellas "start the
name callin'" (Yippie Yi Yo)
And the girls report to the
call
The poor dog show down
Who let the dogs out (woof,
woof, woof, woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof,
woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
Who let the
dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
I see ya' little speed boat
head up our coast
She really want to skip town
Get back off me,
beast off me
Get back you flea infested monger
Who let the dogs out (woof,
woof, woof, woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof,
woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
Who let the
dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
I'm gonna tell Hey, Yippie,
Yi, Yo
To any girls calling them canine Yippie, Yi, Yo
Tell
the dummy "Hey Man, It's part of the Party!" Yippie Yi,
Yo
You fetch a women in front and her mans behind Yippie, Yi,
Yo
Her bone runs out now
Who let the dogs out (woof,
woof, woof, woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof,
woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
Who let the
dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
Say, A doggy is nuttin' if he
don't have a bone All dogy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it
A
doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone All dogy hold ya' bone, all
doggy hold it
Wait for y'all my dogs, the party is on
I
gotta get my girl I got my myind on
Do you see the rays comin'
from my eye
What could you be friend
That Benji man that's
breakin' them down?
Me and My white short shorts
And I can't
seek a lot, any canine will do
I'm figurin' that's why they call
me faithful
'Cause I'm the man of the land
When they see me
they doah-ooooo(howl)
Who
let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
Who let the dogs out
(woof, woof, woof, woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof,
woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)"
After Sirius was done, he felt two things tackle him down. Both Remus and Harry had glomped him and were crying hysterically on top of him. "SIRIUS! You are back! You are alive," said Remus hugging him tightly. "I missed you, I'm so glad you're back," said Harry crying happily on him. Sirius hugged him back as well and then he whispered in Remus' ear, "How about we get reacquainted, Remus?" Remus took Sirius' hand and ran away with him. Something suspiciously sounding like "I'm gonna get laid!" was heard behind them.
The rest of the school looked back at them, blinking. Dumbledore picked up the microphone the two lovebirds left behind and spoke. "Okay... Let's continue with the competition, shall we? Harry back to your throne! Next is a young lady that is... she has... had a... OH forget it! Here is Luna Lovegood!"
Lovegood walked out to the stage, painted head to toe in blue paint. Everyone just clapped; they were used to seeing her doing weird things like this. Then she began singing:
Yo listen up here's a story
About
a little guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night
and everything he sees
Is just blue
Like him inside and
outside
Blue his house with a blue little window
And a blue
Corvette
And everything is blue for him
And himself and
everybody around
Cause he ain't got nobody to listen
I'm
Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa
...
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...
I'm Blue da ba dee
da ba daa ...
I
have a blue house with a blue window
Blue is the colour of all
that I wear
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too
I
have a girlfriend and she is so blue
Blue are the people here that
walk around
Blue like my Corvette, it's in and outside
Blue are
the words I say and what I think
Blue are the feelings that live
inside me
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...
I'm Blue da ba
dee da ba daa ...
I
have a blue house with a blue window
Blue is the colour of all
that I wear
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too
I
have a girlfriend and she is so blue
Blue are the people here that
walk around
Blue like my Corvette, it's in and outside
Blue are
the words I say and what I think
Blue are the feelings that live
inside me
I'm
Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...
Inside
and outside
Blue his house with a blue little window
And a blue
Corvette
And everything is blue for him and himself
And
everybody around
Cause he ain't got nobody to listen
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa
...
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...
Everyone stared at her. Luna just crossed another line of weirdness right there. The blue girl flashed a bright blue smile at the crowed and ran inside the school. Everyone sweat dropped. Dumbledore once again walked out with his very bright tuxedo.
"Okay? That was a bizarre performance... Anywho! Let's continue! This next performance is a story of true love. It brings tears to my eyes to see such a deep bond between these two", said Dumbledore, cleaning a tear from his eye. "Anywho, here we have Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris! Please give them a big round of applause!"
The whole school was stunned! That creepy old man and his cat were going to sing! EWW! Soon, Mr. Filch came on stage wearing a black suit and carrying his beloved cat, Mrs. Norris, (who was wearing a white dress). They looked lovingly at each other, causing many of the students to barf. Then the dreaded music began and Mrs. Norris started meowing to the tune of the song. A puff of smoke appeared on top of the cat, with the translation of what she was singing. (Evanescence fans, please don't kill me. I also love Evanescence, but I couldn't resist).
Mrs. Norris (Translated)
Dear my love, haven't you wanted
to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I
can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet
night, you are my own
Take my hand
(Together)
We're leaving
here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us
down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to
anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
Mrs. Norris (Translated)
I
have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are
there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so
long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there
(Together)
We're leaving
here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us
down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to
anywhere
Where no one needs a reason
Mrs. Norris (Translated)
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're
safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to
stop you
(Together)
Forget this
life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock
your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now
(Together)
We're leaving
here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us
down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to
anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
The couple ended their performance with a very loving kiss. The entire audience groaned and gagged. Dumbledore pushed them of the stage; heck, even he thought it was a little too much.
"Well THAT'S over! Blech! Let's pray our next performer isn't as degenerate as those two. Let's see.. AH, phew. This shouldn't be too bad. Next we have a young man that will do anything for his friends, to singing a girly song, to being a back up dancer and wearing girl's clothes. Here we have Ron Weasley!"
The crowed was laughing and clapping, wondering what kind of stupid song would Ron sing. Soon, rap music began to play and out came Ron, dressed as Eminem. And then. He began rapping.
Two trailer park girls go round the outside;
round the outside, round the outside
scratches
Two trailer park girls go round the outside;
round the outside, round the outside
scratches
Guess who's back
Back again
Shady's back
Tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back
guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back.
I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more
They want Shady, I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka to jump start my heart quicker
than the shocks when I get shocked at the hospital
when the doctor when I'm not co-operating
When I'm rockin the table while he's operating
You waited this long, now stop debating
Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney
but your husband's heart problem's complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
or let me be me, so let me see
They try to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty, without me
So, come on and dip, bum on your lips
Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits
And get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits, Fuck You Debbie!
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
I said-this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
Little Hallions, kids feelin rebellious
Embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feelin like prisoners helpless
'til someone comes along on a mission and yells BITCH!
A visionary, vision of scary
Could start a revolution, pollutin the airwaves
A rebel, so just let me revel and bask
in the fact that I got everyone kissin my ass
And it's a disaster, such a castastrophe
for you can see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me?
Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Fix your damn antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna
enter in, under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention, back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Investing in your kid's ears a nest egg
Testing, attention please
Feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me
Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free
A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
I said-this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
A-tisket a-tasket, I go tit for tat with
anybody who's talkin this shit, that shit
Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked
worse than those little Limp Bizkit bastards
And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie
You thirty-six year old boy fag, blow me
You don't know me, you're too old, let go
It's over, nobody listens to techno
Now let's go, just gimme the signal
I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil
ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes the shit just seems
everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm dis-gus-ting
But it's just me, I'm just obscene
And though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley
do black music so selfishly
and used it to get myself wealthy
Here's a concept that works
Twenty million other white rappers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It'll be so empty, without me
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
I said-this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
Kids!
The students clapped and cheered. Ron had been a whole lot better that they had all been expecting.
Dumbledore also clapped and walked out, looking a little blue. "Well, is time for the last performance. Because we are running out of time, two performers have been eliminated: Voldemort, who was going to sing "Man! I feel like a woman!" by Shania Twain; also, he isn't allowed at Hogwarts grounds. (In the distance, Voldemort's cries could be heard. To think, he had even wore his dominatrix costume for this occasion.) And my own performance, I wanted to sing "I believe I can Fly!" No fair! Oh well, I'll just sing it to the portraits later! Anywho, I'll leave you with Blaise Zabini!"
The school clapped and cheered, specially the Slytherins. He walked outside, wearing a white button shirt and black silk pants. He had a very serious look on his face. "Today, I will like to sing to you all, a song I believe represents us all. This song helped me see that Gryffindores and Slytherins, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, we are all one and the same. We are all wizards, whether we are wizardborn or muggleborn, its the same. The blood doesn't make the wizard."
The entire school was in tears after Blaise's little speech. Even Harry, who had only been thinking about how happy he was that Sirius was back and hadn't been listening to any of the other performances, payed attention to what the Zabini boy said and did. Then, he began singing.
here's a llama
there's a
llama
and another little llama
fuzzy llama
funny llama
llama
llama
duck
llama
llama
cheesecake
llama
tablet
brick
potato
llama
llama
llama
mushroom
llama
llama llama
duck
i was once a
treehouse
i lived in a cake
but i never saw the way
the
orange slayed the rake
i was only three years dead
but it told
a tale
and now listen, little child
to the safety rail
did
you ever see a llama
kiss a llama
on the llama
llama's
llama
tastes of llama
llama llama
duck
half a
llama
twice the llama
not a llama
farmer
llama
llama
in a car
alarm a llama
llama
duck
is THIS how it's
told now?
is it all so old?
is it made of lemon
juice?
doorknob
ankle
cold
now my song is getting
thin
I've run out of luck
time for me to retire now
and
become a duck
Everyone just stared at Blaise as he repeated his sing over and over again. Harry, who had sat up as soon as Blasie began singing, was crying in happiness. "Blaise! That song is beautiful! I think the exact same thing! It does speak of unity of our houses and the wizarding world! For that, you win the contest! You're the new Hogwart's Idol!"
The entire school stood with their jaw dropped down to the floor still trying to understand the logic behind that statement. For those who where hoping to win the wet one by Harry, their hearts were shattered. Heck, Hermione and Draco had both fainted when Harry made the announcement. Blaise, on the other hand, was jumping with joy.
"Hey, Harry! Instead of you kissing me as a prize, how about you sing with me," asked the Zabini boy. Harry squealed with joy at the idea and the two of them sang the Llama Song for the rest of the day.
Well, that's it for The Hogwart's Idol. I hope you people like it! Please review!
