Good morning everyone,
first, a big huge ginormous thank you to G. Goodwren for volunteering to be my beta reader. I am so much happier now that I have someone to read, give me great suggestions, and clean up behind me, I always forget where the commas go.
Secondly, thank you so much to everyone that has reviewed. I don't think that I could ever express how much your kind words encourage me. No one in my everyday life knows that I write, so having your support means the world to me.
Thirdly, I hope you all enjoy the next two chapters. Not a lot of action but I think that they form a base for what will come.
And lastly, thank you all again for taking time to read, review, follow, and favorite my little story.
PS I do not own Doctor Who. I am building a TARDIS to go back in time to steal the idea but don't know when I can complete it. Will continue trying, until then BBC owns my Doctor.
Chapter 8
Rose
The dream always started the same; darkness, blood, and tears. Rose's body tensed, preparing itself for the onslaught of emotions.
She walked the path in darkness towards the edge, her feet moving against her will. She knew what was coming and she fought it with all that she could. She had been down this path countless times before. She knew it was a dream and she willed herself to wake, to take control, where she had none. As if to taunt her, the pull toward the edge eased and her feet stilled and for a moment she felt herself reaching for wakefulness only to be suddenly plunged over the cliff.
Falling
into the abyss, the voices of the dammed called to her. "Join us, join us, murderer, liar, you vile one, join us, join us."
"No!" Rose screamed her denial. Slamming into the ground, she laid there, her soul already aching and tired.
The cry of a child started in the darkness.
He was dying once again she was too late to save him. Rose leaned over his body, blood was everywhere. It covered her hands as she tried to stop it. Sobbing, she avoided looking into his accusing eyes as he spoke, "Rose why? Rose you promised to love me. You promised to care for me. You promised to save me."
"I tried John, I do love you," she said, her voice thin and pleading.
"Liar. You never loved me. You used me. You only loved him." His voice was laced with bitterness. "But the joke is on you, he never loved you. He left you because you were a bother and he never wanted you. You were useless to him, you never did anything right. Look at me!" Her eyes betrayed her and she saw the truth in the cruel twist of his mouth "You couldn't even do the last thing he asked of you and save me."
The child's cry grew louder in the dark.
Rose cried as he died, his words a bitter litany to her heart.
"Quite right, why would I want someone like you? Nothing but a common shop girl, you are. Why would someone like me ever love something as dull as you? You, Rose Tyler, are nothing."
Each word pounded her heart. "I tried to lift you up out of your trite pathetic life but you are too stupid and hopeless. You are nothing, Rose Tyler."
The words he spoke cut deep, but when he turned to walk away she still begged him, "Please don't leave me! Please, I love you. Please…"
He didn't look back and he melted into the darkness. The cry of the child grew louder.
Rose squeezed her eyes shut so she couldn't see him walk away from her again and put her hands over her ears trying to stop the sound of crying.
The child was wailing.
The child's cries surrounded her, beating on her senses. "Why didn't you save me, mummy? Why did you let me die?"
Rose's eyes opened to look at the child. "I am sorry. I am sorry. Please forgive me."
She reached out to the child, only to find her embrace empty.
She was alone again. Even the cry of the child was gone. The silence was heavy and it pushed against her until she was struggling to take a breath. She was alone, always alone in the darkness, with blood on her hands. Alone, so damn alone.
She woke with a start. Her breath was heavy, her heart labored in her chest.
She hated the dark that seemed to suffocate her. "Lights," she choked out.
Lights flooded her room.
Her eyes darted down to her hands. Even though she could see they were free of blood, she still had to run to the bathroom to scrub them raw. Then came the nausea and she barely made it to the toilet in time to empty her stomach of what little she had had for dinner.
She sat there on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor, her forehead braced on edge of the porcelain bowl, until her breathing became normal and the tightness in her chest eased. She was used to the dreams and what they did to her, but they never got easier, they never got better.
Rose knew that she wouldn't be getting any more sleep tonight, so she went back to her bedroom. She removed the sweat soaked sheets off the bed and put them into the washer.
It was now two in the morning; she had managed almost four hours of sleep which was not bad for her these days.
She stood in the kitchen, ate some biscuits to settle her stomach and decided to have another work out.
After she had pushed her body to its limit she took a hot shower and checked the time. It was only six. Her mom wouldn't be here until ten to take her out shopping and beautifying. She would have to think of something terrible to do to Jack for getting her into that.
She walked into the room next to her bedroom. It had once been a guest room but Rose didn't like having people in her private space anymore so she had turned it into a music room. A white baby grand piano was the center piece of the room. It had been a gift from Pete and Jackie. They had been amazed by Rose's ability to play so well after just a few lessons. Her teacher said that she had a gift and that it was a pity that it hadn't been discovered when she was young. When she said she couldn't accept such an expensive gift, Pete had gruffly insisted, saying that her other father would have wanted her to have it. He had hugged her and told her to think of it as a combination of all the birthdays and Christmas's that he and the other Pete hadn't been able to be there for.
Rose sat on the bench and lifted the cover and let her fingers run over the keys. She warmed up with a little Mozart from memory. Then she switched to a song she had heard on the radio yesterday. She played for hours, letting the music clear her mind and lift her soul.
The car bumped up the driveway, hitting every pothole. Jackie's driver, Frank, gave her an apologetic smile in the rearview mirror as he came to a stop. She looked at her daughter's little cottage. It had once been a charming home. Now the stone fence around the small yard needed repair and the lawn needed weeding … but what bothered Jackie the most was how faded the paint was on the house. When real estate agent first shown them the house, Rose had lit up for the first time since she had been trapped in this universe. The deep blue paint and the real estate agent's passing comment about it being bigger on the inside than it looked outside had brought a sweet smile to her face. It had been that smile alone that allowed Jackie to gracefully let her daughter move out of the mansion. She had wanted to keep Rose near, to help her when she screamed into the night but Rose said she needed her own space, away from her mother's and Pete's concerned and watchful eyes. When she wasn't working in the lab or studying, she had fixed up the cottage. She did it herself, not letting anyone else touch her home. Rose had said it soothed her heart to bang away.
Then came that day where Jackie had witnessed her brave daughter let go of the person that she loved beyond herself. Rose allowed herself to be stuck in a universe where she felt she didn't belong. Jackie watched Rose take the hand of a stranger who wore a familiar face and bring him back to this house to heal. She had rejoiced as they grew closer and as her daughter's heart opened to the love that he had for her. The house became a home. Then in one tragic twist of fate, everything changed and Rose was left alone again.
The house, like her daughter, continued to stand strong, unbowed to the winds and changes of fate but, like her daughter, it no longer glowed. It was faded, a bitter shadow of what once was, a tragic reminder of all that could have been.
Jackie wanted to tell Rose to sell the house, to find somewhere else to live or move back in with them but every time she even started to suggest it, Rose's demeanor changed. Her face would get dark, her voice cold. So, Jackie left it alone. She understood that it was Rose's last link to her happy times. All that she could hope for was that, by some miracle, happiness would come again to her child's life.
Frank opened her door and Jackie got out, squaring her shoulders and preparing herself for a fight. She knew that Rose did not want to go to this ball tonight and she definitely did not want to go shopping with her mother or submit to spa treatments that Jackie had lined up. She missed the old Rose at times like these. The old Rose would have been thrilled to do such frivolous things. Now Rose had to be begged, threatened, or in this case, conned into it.
Jackie approached the house. Music floated on the air. It was a beautiful and haunting melody. It stirred the soul and broke the heart with notes of longing, of agonizing sadness and pain, of reaching for something that was always just out of reach.
Only a handful of people had ever heard Rose play that piece and even then only by accident, since Rose never played it willingly for anyone. It was her private pain, set to music. Her piano teacher had once sat outside of the music room door, tears running down his wrinkled face as he listened to it. He had to cancel her lesson for the day because he couldn't stop crying. Pete had locked himself away in his basement workshop when he first heard it, drinking and crying for hours in memory of those he had lost in the war. Jack had broken like a child when he first heard it, standing in her garden in the wee hours of the morning after a mission had gone terribly wrong. He had stormed up the stairs and nearly crushed her in a bear hug, trying in his way to ease the pain he heard in the music.
Everyone who heard it said that it broke their heart - except for Jackie. It filled her with a murderous rage. Jackie knew the Rose played it when her nightmares were particularly bad. The terrible, longing melody filled Jackie with a burning hate for the man that caused her daughter such pain. He had broken his promise to her, he had promised to always bring her home safe. Instead, he left her broken, in pieces, and Jackie Tyler would never forget or forgive him for that.
Plastering a big smile on her face, Jackie beat on the door loudly and yelled, "Rose? Rose you'd better be dressed and ready to go if you have time to be planking on that piano. We've got reservations in twenty minutes at the salon and you know Lana won't wait."
The music stopped and Rose yelled that she would be down in a moment. Jackie walked back to the car where Frank was wiping tears off his face.
Eyes haunted, he asked, "Do you know the name of the song she was playing Ma'am? Most touching music I've ever heard, made me think of everyone that I have ever loved and lost all at once."
"It's called, 'Don't Follow Daft Alien Strangers in Blue Boxes because They'll Only Break Your Heart'." Jackie snapped. "And stop standing there crying like a girl and turn the car around, she'll be down in a moment and we've no time to waste." She got into the car and slammed the door. Jackie cursed the Doctor, cursed him to hell and back, but she also prayed he would somehow show up because she knew only he could make Rose glow again.
