Bella, in some sort of misguided attempt at a heroic sacrifice on her mother's behalf, finds herself a first hand witness of a deep make out scene on the floor of her Biology II classroom. Last time she checked, this kind of stuff does not happen in Phoenix, Arizona, and usually does not occur... well, anywhere else outside of dramas or horribly written romance novels.
Said make out session lasts approximately 2.5 seconds before there is a violent thud – wait, did she just punch him? – and both parties scramble up.
"Um... I'm anemic! See, I fainted-"
"Cardiopulmonary resuscitation... he is ill-"
The two exchange a look, then shout, "Bathroom!" dashing out of the class at non-human speeds, leaving one Bella Swan undergoing shell shock.
Rewind.
Bella, seventeen, recently arrived in Forks, Washington to live with Charlie. She has had the pleasure of the following routine:
"You're Isabella, right?" they would ask.
"Bella," she would correct.
"From Arizona? What's that like?" they would ask.
"Not wet," she would answer, often with exasperation and a futile attempt at sarcasm no one gets.
"Cool."
And so on. In the same day, she has realized she is receiving an unusual amount of attention, especially from the population containing Y-chromosomes, as well as giving an unusual amount of attention to certain people, the other "new" students for Forks.
This consists of the Cullen's family, all with traditional names, odd behaviors, and incredibly gorgeous looks. The story around them revolves around sex scandals, their wealth, and Edward, the youngest, cutest, and "kinda-untaken" boy of the family.
"Kinda-untaken" brings the lunch conversation to the girl on the other corner of the building, a redhead munching down on an apple. The story around her is that she is an illegitimate child from Japan who is sent here to be ultimately adopted by Mr. Carlisle Cullen and become fiancee to Edward.
Which arises the question, "If that is true, why is she not sitting with the rest of them?"
Of which Jessica, her conversational partner, denounces with, "The Cullens and Hales believe she's too ugly to be associated with. I feel bad for Edward though. He's trying to be nice but is obviously not interested. She's the nasty and arrogant type." And possibly an alien, according to the input of a chick named Lauren.
And Bella gives a hesitant nod, before lunch break is up, and she trudges down to Biology, landing her in the situation now, recovering from the whiplash of watching the recently engaged, interterrestrial couple kiss.
Someone else recovers a second later, as Mike Newton shoots his hand up in the air. "Mr. Banner, I'll work with Bella!"
The janitors will be going into overtime mopping up guts tonight, as Sakura drags Edward across an entire hall, before slamming him head on into the lockers. All while screaming in a rough, distorted Japanese, the killer intent flashing through her eyes far greater than his meek, pussy one back in the classroom.
"Unbelievable! What kind of a joke culture is this, where you kiss before engaging in any form of courtship, and right after you specifically deny romantic attraction. My damn flowers. The anko dumplings. Some confession, or music, or ramen treat. A DATE at least. Are all males here this classless and crude? Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID-!"
"Hey... baka... I understand that word," Edward chuckles weakly, before sliding down to the floor in a pool of pain, pain, ow, OW. Not many things bruise vampire skin. But this girl's fist can, as there is another wince-worthy thud.
Sakura's inner self is not pleased, and she makes it known. In her homeland, there exists specific step-by-step guidelines on dating and courtship, and you have better gone through repeated encounters, dates, treats and presents before you can even think about something like a kiss. And through all her dating experiences, she has never gotten that far.
With Naruto, ramen got in the way.
With Sasuke, Naruto got in the way.
With Ino, five bottles of regurgitated sake got in the way.
You see a theme going on here, and after the patrol squads formed, oh no, forget it. The suitors are not surviving past the first date. Which ultimately makes this Sakura's first kiss.
Thinking about that sets her off on another level.
"BAKA!"
There is now a crater in four respective metal lockers.
Sakura will get compensation for this, the first and foremost a relinquishment of her rage via violence, and the second being an explanation.
After inner Sakura is done dealing much body collateral, regular Sakura blinks and lowers her fist. She flashes a smile and extends a hand towards the befallen boy. "I apologize. I overly react."
Well, turns out the beating is a delightful way of snapping Edward out of his homicidal thoughts earlier... as well as any delusions that this redhead is weak, helpless, and cute, because the welts now forming on his pretty face is a good indication that...
"So you're one of us, after all," Edward says, rubbing his jaw.
Sakura examines him, then places a hand on her hips. Guess there is little point to this charade now. "Yes, I am. Now, what were you thinking back there."
"I... needed air." And he assumed it will just be like those underwater kissing scenes, or something of that sort. In a sense, it worked, as the taste and smell of apples and Asian cup noodles? allowed him to regain some of his common sense. Said common sense now tells him that he maybe did not chose the best path back in that classroom, and this girl is justifiably angry... should he be a regular boy.
But he is not.
He is a super sexy vampire that everyone and their mothers dream of banging so why the hell is she punching him again?
There is a huge vein bulging from Sakura's forehead at the idiocy of Edward's lie, because what kind of excuse is I needed air? And little does Edward know how lucky he is to be super sexy, because had he been some sub-attractive boy, he would be floating in outer space about now.
"Not that. Why were you attacking Isabella?" Sakura asks, knitting together her eyebrows. "You intend to kill her."
"I don't target people," Edward earnestly answers. "But she... her scent..."
"Body odor is legitimate excuse for murder?"
It feels like a slap across Edward's face, a giant blow to his ego, because here he is, before a fellow vegetarian vampire, and he has demonstrated a shameful lack of self control.
Meanwhile, heads begin to peak over classroom door windows, though the students and teachers are too scared to come out. So, Edward and Sakura exit the hallway and continue their discussion in the outside parking lot.
Edward is slightly concerned how this is playing out like a murder scene, in which the victim is dumped inside the trunk of his own car. But come on, his life has been playing like a badly produced, directed, and casted romance movie, not a horror film (but the decree of horribleness of the romance can be categorized as horror), so there is no reason to suspect his life of average love affairs and teenage wangst will now involve extractions of any internal bodily organs...
"Edward, do you remember when I gave you liver?" Sakura begins, leaning against the hood of his Volvo.
Or is there.
"Yes, I do."
"I am not sure if you are aware, but it is truce symbol for when we first met. I wish to help you and be ally, not fight you and be enemy. Very simply, cooperation over conflict. But I will state clearly: if you kill Isabella, regardless of justification, you will end on negative note with me."
"It's not like I want to kill her either," Edward growls.
Sakura raises an eyebrow. "You do not?"
"No."
"Not your mission?"
"No."
With this additional piece of information, all of Sakura's previous theories went out the window, and she is left puzzled, unable to conjure up a reasonable explanation.
Meanwhile, Edward is equally befuddled by Sakura's confusion. "Hold on, this doesn't sound right..."
"You cannot possibly be..."
"Don't tell me you are actually..."
They both snap their fingers towards the other.
"-reanimated corpse!"
"-an alien!"
"Not dead?"
"Not zombie-dead!"
A hanging question mark. "No UFO?" he asks, pointing upwards.
Sakura blinks, then corrects him by pointing west. "I travel by boat."
"I apologize, I am not acquainted with term vampire either."
"What in blaze's name is shinobi?"
"So you are alternative, advanced, humanoid species whose entire DNA structure is different, granting you immunity to most death and disease, with only downfall being dependence on human blood as crop food for survival, but the Cullen clan has adopted philosophy of vegetarianism in which you prey on animal blood. But at times you cannot control primitive instincts, and if thirst for too long, attack humans, hence situation with Isabella."
"Correct."
"And you research cancer."
"What?"
"You are human hazard with unmapped genome and internal mechanism of which you do not fully comprehend, lest alone the rest of the planet. And given a thriving scientific environment, you research cancer."
"Ah..."
"Have you at all given consideration to giving self more useful objective? Perhaps way to deactivate this sense of 'smell.' Or synthetic blood to seize thirst? Or yet, understand what grants you this immunity to death and disease, because who cares for one or two casualties when you hold key to saving billions of-"
Sakura is hit with a slap of cold realization.
"Edward?" she begins, her entire body shaking.
Edward is getting uncomfortable, especially with that a sharp glint in her eyes. "Yes?"
"You have unnatural thirst for Isabella. This is current dilemma, correct?"
"Yes?"
A smirk. "Then I shall assist you. I find you solution so you will not worry of Isabella, or presence of human blood, ever again. In exchange, you assist me."
"With...?"
"Science," Sakura affirms. "I need your body."
"So basically, you told her about us," Rosalie spits out from the back seat. She folds her arms in discontent, her eyes narrowed at the rear-view mirror.
"Don't worry, sweetheart," Emmett chuckles from shotgun. "Ninjas, apparently, are very good at keeping secrets. Ain't that right, Ed?"
"Or so she says," Jasper says, his lips pulled into a thin line. "How be it you've divulged so much of us, yet acquired no information of her?" The experienced militian is not pleased by the strategical disadvantage.
A pair of tiny hands land on his shoulder as Alice leans against Jasper and sighs, "Oh honey, Edward tried. We may not know much, but we sure do know she's on our side, and she used her Japanese ninja skills to save that new girl."
"Speaking of new girl." Emmett turns to Edward, who is still banging his head against the steering wheel. "Any luck on the mind reading?"
"It. Is. Blank," Edward says with each concussion-inducing bang, failing to access Bella's thoughts.
From the parking lot, the Cullen siblings have an excellent view of the new, new girl through the windows. Without a gym uniform, Bella hunches at the bleachers besides Sakura, who has decided to exploit the opportunity with much conversations and giggles, all while not-so-subtly inserting, "I am single, by the way," and "Edward? Oh no, no, no, we are not romantically involved in any way, shape, or form. He is merely diseased and mentally ill... forgets to breathe often, silly boy. I help him, yes?"
Edward may not have access to Bella's thoughts, but he can hear their conversation in the minds of everyone around her. And though Sakura's mental Japanese remains untranslatable, her verbal English is doing a fantastical job tearing his reputation to shreds.
"Holy crow, he's got leukemia and AIDS?"
"By crows of holiness, I forget to mention – he also has prostate cancer."
"Edward Cullen has leukemia, AIDS, and prostate cancer?" Bella fails to control the volume of her voice.
People stare.
The ball drops.
Even the coach freezes with the whistle in his mouth.
A smile. "He is older than you think."
Meanwhile, Edward believes now is an excellent time to disassemble himself. Just chop off his head, chuck it in the fridge, and come back a century or so later when every witness here is dead... granted Sakura does not get far enough in her research to produce a panacea that extends the average lifespan to a millennium or so.
And just to make life sweeter, Rosalie, just then and there, treats him to a rare dosage of her eternal love and compassion.
"Edward," she deadpans, "you're, quite literally, a bloody mess. You attack in public, get beaten by a girl, reveal our secret, and now screwed up your powers. Get yourself together, and take a sick leave before you blab to the whole world about us."
"I am not sick!" Edward feels the need to clarify with the abrupt declaration.
"Edward, I reckon she's right," Jasper says, a hint of schadenfreude in his tone. Rosalie is blunt. If there is a problem with somebody in the family, she does not sugarcoat, and Jasper has been the target of her criticisms for years. It is nice to see her point her gun at someone else and give Edward the boot instead.
"It's obvious I ain't the only one not in control today. Shall we go over at Alaska? It'll be fair off there."
Jasper, though usually a man of little words, is surprisingly willing to express his thoughts today. And out loud. And, for once, not sound like he is in pain. It is only another indicator that yes, the world is coming to an end.
"We are not leaving!" Edward yells, accidentally slamming his forehead on the car horn and effectively garnering the attention of everybody in Gym.
"Why's he outside? Shouldn't he be in class?"
"Oh, he drive home after Biology. Forget inhaler often. Why he, ah, asked for my breath earlier, and I hit air into his lungs. See, no romance."
"He has asthma too?"
"No, that be silly. He has emphysema. Reason he speaks little and breathes loudly."
"Wow, and I thought he was going to punch me or something with that angry face he made at me in Bio."
"Angry face just him needing oxygen. It is my fault he fainted, because I did not notice him when I assisted you with chair."
"Poor guy. You always help him?"
"No, no, I am new too. See, I am medical student from Japan. Doctor Carlisle, his father, hire me to help him as nurse. But he is embarrassed, so we pretend we do not know each other in school. I remain close in case though, and help him with rehabilitation at hospital. You will find me there often, trying to solve his problems."
"I just can't believe he's got that many. I mean... he looks okay."
"Notice pale skin and eye shadows. Nasty rash under shirt too. Nah-uh, very ill. Pretty girl like you should stay far away unless you want phlegm. He strains to talk and needs space for oxygen. Notice how people do not converse with him and respect his space."
"Wait, is his family..."
"Oh, all are sick with different diseases. All pale. Doctor Carlisle is good man who adopts incurable sick children."
Back at the car...
"Well?"
"Well, thanks to Sakura, Bella now thinks I have leukemia, AIDS, prostate cancer, and emphysema, with a side of ADHD and erotomania."
There is a restrained snort, but before Emmett can break out into raucous laughter, Edward adds, "And you have lupus."
"What!"
Then, he turns to the remaining members of the family and calmly states to Rosalie, "You are a diabetic with a narcissistic personality disorder," much to her outrage, to Jasper, "You have sickle cell anemia with arthritis and depression," much to his amusement, and to Alice, "And you're just a schizophrenic albino," much to her glee.
"She's making this all up as she goes along, ain't she?" Jasper says, the corner of his lips twitching.
"And that new new girl is gullible enough to believe this bullcrap?" Emmett asks.
"I can't read her mind, but I do know half the people in Gym believe her." Edward grimaces, as he hears thoughts of, 'so that's why they're so pale,' 'no wonder you never see them in sunlight,' 'that explains the lack of appetite,' 'I thought she was crazy,' 'so a disease is maintaining her figure?' 'oh, so he is in pain,' and 'aha! I thought so!' The last of which is most concurrent, even though they have not the slightest clue of the science Sakura is explaining.
At this rate, she can say hepatitis induces canine growth and a hunger for human blood, and they will still believe her.
"Now, remember," Sakura tells the entire class plus one coach (who is now feeling very guilty for all his slaps at Emmett during playoffs last season), "be very careful not to get paper cuts or open wound. AIDS transmit through blood."
Bella cringes.
Sakura smiles. "I carry license and medical kit, Bella. If you are prone to injury, be near me, and I will protect you."
Bella glances around and shrinks at all the jealous glares. In a school infested with five diseased freaks, the students feel much more secure having a personal medic by their side. However, they do not quite understand how most arenot contagious, nor do they realize they have never been close enough to the Cullens to begin with.
"Ah... err... okay."
And with that, the bell rings, and Sakura packs her bag, setting out to meet one incensed Edward Cullen.
"I do not understand your anger," Sakura says, as they pace together towards the receptionist's office. "I found simple solution to your problem. Now no one will approach your family with temptation of blood."
"When you told me you are going to find a solution, I didn't think you meant this," Edward says, yanking at his hair.
"Careful, leukemia causes baldness," Sakura says, head high, eyes haughtily closed. Then, she peeks open an eye and adds, "Relax. This is temporary solution until I find permanent cure I promise you."
"Have you at all thought that this stunt you pulled could get my siblings and I expelled? The staff and faculty here isn't going to be exactly welcoming to five diseased students. As if we didn't have enough bad rumors about us already!"
"Bad? How is your family as sick bad?" Sakura asks. "Most I cause is pity."
"And fear, and discomfort, and disgust!"
Sakura stops and stares at Edward with scrutinizing eyes. "Edward, you tell me sick people disgust you?"
"No! No," he says, shaking his hands. "That's not what I meant. Look, take AIDS for example. When you say that, people think of two types of people: blacks and homosexuals. And I am obviously not in one of these two groups."
Sakura blinks. "This is faulty assumption. AIDS affects all people."
"Yes, but that's not what people think. And I really don't appreciate people thinking I'm gay."
Sakura blinks again. "Edward, one of my friends has been telling girls for years he is homosexual, and it discourages not one percentage of them. So if it is concerning female attention, you might wish to skew attention more towards 'deadly virus,' and less towards 'possibility of homosexuality.'"
"That's not- it's not..." He stops himself and sighs. "Forget it."
After some hesitation, Sakura resumes her walk. "You are strange. You do not socialize with these people, yet care of what they think. I thought you want more distance and less contact."
He does. But when he reads minds, he prefers to be thought of as a mysterious, talented, and sensual Greek god. But the image of a sexual deviant now undergoing miserable rehab?
"Just tell me next time you do something like this? I do not want my family cast in a negative light."
A pause, as her hand touches the door handle.
"Okay, I shall obtain your consent next time," Sakura says. But before he can reply, she adds, "But understand. I work under assumption life of innocents is more important to you than reputation."
She pushes the door open and is surprised to find Bella by the receptionist's desk, papers in hand.
The office air enters the hallway.
Instantly, Sakura seizes Edward by the wrist and flickers both of them outside, where he takes deep breathes. There is a ring of red in his pupils, a tension in his jaw, and Sakura can tell he is suppressing the instinct to chase Bella, which he will indubitably do had she not teleported. In fact, for the first time, Sakura is feeling adrenaline course run through her veins, her palm numb from trying to restrain him.
Edward is strong and fast; she cannot deny that. Probably on par with a freshly vested chuunin, which is not much to worry for someone of her caliber. But she worries nonetheless as she finds herself breaking down and trying to catch her breath alongside Edward.
She clutches her head, feeling the da-thump, da-thump of her heartbeat. This is not right. Chakra depletion may be ten times its normal rate, but it has been a while since she used any jutsu. A body flicker is also low rank.
And that is when she realizes with mortification that it has nothing to do with her chakra depletion rate. It has to do with her chakra replenishment rate, and her chakra has not replenished at all during these past two months. All the small supplemental jutsus she has been using here and there drain too little for her to notice, but when added all up...
"Sakura," Edward's coarse voice brings her attention back to him.
"Yes?"
"I don't know why I haven't realized this before," he gasps out, "but your blood has never been particularly alluring."
She tries to steady her own breathing and slaps on a sarcastic, "Why thank you, Edward."
"Say, if Bella is nectar, you are rice. I can smelled you, but you have never been enticing. It's strange now that I think about it. How close we have been at times, but I have never been hit any urge for you... only felt like something is wrong or off, but not necessarily in a bad way."
"Thank you, Edward. I am glad you do not wish to eat me."
"You're no longer rice."
"What?"
"You're no longer rice," he repeats, serious. "Or if you are, you are rice that is beginning to smell very good. Good enough for me to consciously note your scent."
That cannot bode well.
"Edward, when did you last drink?"
He catches his final breath and tilts his head up to look at the rolling clouds. "If Jasper is having trouble... must have been a while. Our family did plan to hunt this weekend."
"I suggest you do not take risk and sedate thirst now," Sakura tells him sharply.
"And you?"
"I shall ask Ms. Cope about Isabella. See when she transfers out of Biology. Perhaps obtain copy of her schedule so you will know when and where to avoid her."
They exchange a nod of agreement and depart their separate ways.
With a swing of the doors, Sakura reenters the school, hair fluttering and eyes sharp.
Edward's body is not the only thing that needs to undergo investigation. From now on, she will keep meticulous track of her chakra reserves. Because if her mind is jumping from hypothesis to hypothesis, and if any of them are close to right, then she has a bigger problem than some pretty girl or uncontrolled vampire.
Or even Itachi's disease.
