The Untitled Wound
Author: GleekShip
Spoilers: Set During Season 1; spoilers up until episode 20, Theatricality.
Summary: Kurt does everything he can do to survive the final moments of a shooting at McKinley.
Pairings: Kurt/Puck!Friendship, maybe more.
The Untitled Wound
Laughter echoes into his ears as he buries his face into the cool metal of the lockers, wanting more than anything to be anywhere . . . even dead. He can feel the hits to his chest, his stomach, his legs and head. He tries to curl over into the fetal position, but the boys aren't buying it.
He gets hit in the head again and his hands go to protect himself, but he suddenly finds them being crunched under steel-toed boots.
"Ah." He winces, his own energy rapidly leaving him.
He really didn't care to be honest. He had failed to save so many people, and now he'd fail to save himself. He had saved Kurt, but that hardly counted or helped make up for all of the terrible things he had done in life. Maybe this was a punishment for whatever he had done in a previous life, or what he would do had the shooting not occurred. There's no way that this isn't his fault.
The pain was actually starting to leave him as well, each snarky word and blunt hit to his body becoming a soft sound and feeling in the distance. Maybe this is what death was like, that is if he was going to die. He may not be a firm believer in what the general person thinks of in the after-life, or what his family thinks, but he's sure that he's the person that will go to Hell. He's not dying, he's only beginning a life-cycle of being punished.
"Wake up, Puckerman."
"Yeah, wus!" The other voice hisses at him. "You need to suffer."
See? He was right. He really was a bad person. That's just how he's always been since Day 1 and he had caused his mother pain during child labor. He has manipulated, bullied, abused, both mentally and physically, and had helped people cheat. He was even the central star in Lima's biggest non-talked about cheating scandal. Maybe they would be in Hell with him. All of the cougars, and moms, and older sisters, and teachers, and every single low-life person that had slept with him for being endowed and looking good. They should be the ones in a deeper part of Hell for being child molesters, but that's not how the world works. Their deeds were gone by unnoticed by most while his were seen by everyone.
The pain's gone. Why is the pain gone? Puck wiggles his fingers and finds it odd that he can feel them and some sort of fabric that he's touching, but that pain is completely gone. He opens his eyes slowly and finds a random guy standing over him, but not one from before. His eyes quickly search around and he finds 'nurse. Crap. He shuts his eyes and takes in a deep breath, relaxes his entire body, and forces emotion from himself. If he's surviving this, he's not going to a hospital.
"Noah." Puck opens his eyes as he feels Kurt jab him in the shoulder with the eraser from his pencil before returning the small rubbered ball to his mouth to chew on.
"Hmm?" He groans and rolls over, trying to remember his dream.
It was similar to a memory, but things went a lot faster in the dream and it was more vague. He wish that the entire thing would have been a vague dream, but he can still remember every detail, even what the little dust bits looks like under the rows of lockers as he had his face smashed into it. Just another thing in life telling him to live harsh reality instead of the easier dream.
"Noah." Kurt pokes Puck again and the boy rolls over on the bed, his bones popping and his face sinking back into Kurt's delightful pillow. "Are you even listening to me?"
"I said 'hmm'." Puck mutters in a sleep-filled tone.
"And then I asked you another question." Puck doesn't know whether to run now or to challenge Kurt on his listening skills or lack thereof. "Do you remember what it was?"
"Did you know that a woodchuck could chuck wood if it chucking wanted too?"
Kurt snorts before tossing his notebook to the floor and sliding down into the bed, lying his head on the pillow next to Puck's with a small smile on his face. "So what I did ask you, was do you know what month it is?"
"Well yeah." Puck chuckles as his eyes roll up slightly as he thinks. "It's . . . it's . . . what is it? I don't know. I haven't really paid attention."
"Same." Kurt mutters as he nods over to his abandoned notebook on the floor. "I just checked and it's already the end of July."
"What?" Puck sits up and props himself up on his elbow, his eyes looking down at Kurt. "So . . . wow. So much time has passed, but . . ."
"It feels like yesterday." Kurt finishes before letting out a shaky breath, his eyes shutting. "And I also realized that we've pretty much skipped our last month of Sophomore year. By the time we get back into school, it will be August and they might as well call us Juniors."
"Well that's not too bad. You know, if you don't include the shooting." Puck shrugs as he thinks it over. "I guess there is a positive here."
"Yeah." Kurt purses his lips. "We also missed my birthday."
"What!" Puck sits up and turns on his butt so he's angled at Kurt, his hands dropping to the bed. "Why didn't I know about this?"
"Because you've never asked before now and I never had any reason to tell you back in school." Kurt figures as he looks to the ceiling with thoughtful eyes. "I mean I never celebrated often, but this year I actually had quite a few friends. I was expecting . . . something. My dad hasn't even mentioned it." He turns his head to look at Puck. "Do you think he forgot, or purposefully decided to forgo an event since it was two days after the shooting?"
"Two days." Puck mutters, his mind still on Kurt's birthday and him not having one. "Well lets throw you one. You damn well deserve one after these few months."
"Well thank you, Noah, but I'm not going to ask anyone to buy me a cake and presents." Kurt chuckles as he reaches out and places a hand on Puck's leg. "Don't worry about it. Really. Like I said, it was never something we celebrated. Just a hug, a 'happy birthday' from dad, and a present or two that I'd usually return in a day or two." Kurt chuckles as he falls back into a few memories. "It's not that dad's not good at buying presents, it's just that he doesn't know what to buy because he wants it to be something that I'd never expect, like a sound proof room or a clock that only has eleven hours." Puck gives him a curious eye, but Kurt ignores it and just winks. "It's just something else. But recently he's just given me money and let me buy what I want. Nothing special and nothing to make a big deal about." Kurt pats Puck's leg a few times before pulling his hand back and swinging his legs off the bed. "What about you? You never really told me when your birthday was. Our conversations were always deeper or simply more than the smallest details."
Puck grimaces before clearing his throat and looking down to his lap. "It's, um . . . August 17th. Next month."
"Well then we can celebrate yours then." Kurt smiles. "And you will be getting a present, so don't even bother trying to fight nature."
"You think you're as strong as nature?" Puck chuckles before he leans forward. "Then bring it. But know that that means that I owe you a present then. And you're not stopping this nature either."
Kurt rolls his eyes before standing up, popping his back and looking to Puck at the same time. "I'm going upstairs to get some food. Want anything special?"
"Not now." Puck mutters as he seems to pull himself away from Kurt away for a second, his mind deep in thought. "Maybe later."
"Alright." Kurt gives the boy a tight smile before standing up.
Now that things seem to be moving forward in life for the both of them, Puck has been become much more reserved than he had at the beginning of their new friendship. He still contributed to conversation and had the same deep talks with Kurt, but whenever he learned something new about Kurt or when Kurt would shrug off a past detail of his life, the boy would shut down. Kurt had figured that Puck was upset that Kurt wasn't more optimistic about his own life, or he was drawing comparisons to his dead friends and their lives. It could be a million more reasons that Kurt wasn't aware of, but it was disturbing him nonetheless. The first time it happened a few weeks ago Kurt had teased him about it and thought that Puck was joking, but that just resulted in Puck leaving in a rush. He just decided that it was better to leave this alone and wait for Puck to talk. It would only worry him if he thought more about it and possibly ruin the one good thing that he has going on.
Just as he leaves Puck in a thoughtful position, he finds his father in a similar one in the living room. He's honestly happy that his father is getting more time to sleep, but there's also the downside that he's not using his new energy to deal with his business but with Kurt's problems. Burt's been dealing with Kurt's future at McKinley as well as dealing with the press that continue to try to interview him as this next step of him as a 'survivor' is taken with re-insertion to the community and public. This, plus bills and trying to keep his garage open. Luckily for him, many of his workers are fine with switching shift to cover up his book-keeping responsibilities as well as dealing with people that come in just to look at Kurt. A positive side of all of the press in this town is that business is getting almost double of it's average profits.
"Hey, dad." Kurt announces himself softly before stepping into the room, feeling the heat wave that's coming from outside that he normally doesn't feel down in his very cold basement room. "What are you thinking about?"
"Oh nothing." Burt shrugs the question off as he smiles at Kurt and reclines back in his chair. "What about you? What do you need?"
"Nothing." Kurt laughs, loving how easy it is to laugh now. "Stop acting like I'm going to siphon your money away."
"You're not?" Burt questions with an eyebrow and a face that's about to crack with laughter.
"No." Kurt sticks his tongue out as the older man smiles and chuckles deeply to himself. "Just getting some food and I thought I'd come up here and check on you while I'm at it."
"I'm fine, Kurt." Burt's firm voice doesn't fool Kurt in the slightest. "Just enjoying my day off and wishing that one day my 16 year old son wouldn't treat me like I'm the child."
Kurt nods, accepting his father's teasing. "Go on. Go on. At least I have a hobby. What do you have: Old Man Aging Techniques?"
"It's actually old man aging technique's for dummies." Burt clarifies as he shifts on his chair so he's looking directly at Kurt as the smirking boy takes a seat on the couch.
"Good one." Kurt admits before he sighs to himself and lets his smile drop slightly. "Actually . . . that sort of ties in to something that I just thought of a few minutes ago. The whole . . . 16 year old thing." Burt's smile drops and Kurt feels the need to quickly fix that. "Now I know a lot was going on and we usually don't celebrate or anything, I was just bringing it up to let you know that I know that it's understandable to forget and I don't really mind." Kurt takes a second to catch his breath before continuing. "I honestly didn't even realize it until I counted it up. Now I'm not expecting anything from you, but . . . can I just get the words?"
Burt's face breaks by his bottom lip trembling at Kurt's somewhat desperate plea. It was true, that they had never made a big deal about it as each year passed . . . but it shouldn't be that way. Kurt had learned that life was too short and Burt had learned that each moment with his son is more precious than the first. So the words that had meant nothing, were now a lingering reminder for them both to have something to say to each other each day. To not just let a busy day keep them from sharing their love, to matter how quick and cheesy, and to make sure that they both knew of the love within their father-son bond.
Burt leans forward, the couch rustling under him as Kurt closes his eyes and listens. "Happy Birthday, Kurt."
Kurt breaks out into a smile and opens his eyes to look anywhere but as his father, a deep blush on his face. "Alright. Now that we're done with that bit of embarrassment, I'm off to get some lunch."
"But, Kurt." Burt stands up and holds out his arms. "I think somebody needs a hug."
"I'm good." Kurt says quickly as he stands up as well before slowly edging himself away from the smirking man. "I didn't make this moment to seem that cheesy so I apologize on my part for seemingly making it so. So if you'll-"
"Kurt need hug." Burt takes a few steps forward. "Kurt need big hug ."
"No." Kurt's eyes widen as he flees the room, leaving his father to be left alone with his roaring laughter and the promise to make more memories of these small moments between the two.
"Sit."
"But . . . um . . ."
The firm voice has left Kurt no wiggle room to avoid the situation so he finds himself sitting opposite of Ms. Puckerman at her dining room. Puck is looking down and smirking at his lap, happy for once that he's not under the analyzing gaze and eventual embarrassment of his mother. Kurt groans internally, wishing that his trip to take Puck home had ended there instead of an invitation inside before being escorted to a pre-planned meal that rose his suspicions.
"What did you tell her?" He hisses in Puck's direction as soon as the woman's back is turned to pick up her glass of water from the counter.
"A celebratory dinner to make up for your missed birthday without actually mentioning said word which would result in you being uncomfortable." Puck recites as he looks up to the left before looking back to Kurt. "That's the response that Ma told me to give you."
"Great." Kurt mutters before going to slump in his chair, but forcing himself to sit straight as he's a guest in the Puckerman household. "So, Mrs. Puckerman." He clears his throat. "I-"
"Now you just hold on a second." She cuts him off with a dark glare before she takes a drink from her glass, taking her sweet time and making Kurt fidget in alarm. "First," She places her glass back down on the table and looks Kurt squarely in the eye. "Do not call me Mrs. Puckerman. It's a dreadful name to have to be stuck too ever since I was knocked up at 16 and was forced into a shotgun wedding. So none of that Mrs. crap. Just call me Gina, but don't abuse that power because you get to use an adults name. Use it wisely and in good taste or I'll have trimming my hedges in this god awful summer heat. Pardon." She clears her throat and rolls her eyes. "My lord's heat." Her voice was thick of sarcasm before she makes a retching sound. "I need to get back into practice before the real Mrs. Puckerman visits in a few weeks. It's been a blissful few months without her and being able to have bacon again, but that woman won't be afraid to put me in my place at her ancient age of 'my lord's'-" She brings her fingers up and air-quotes the phrase. "knows when."
Kurt finds his head bowed down, hoping that he's able to hide his smirk while Puck's outright smiling and nodding in agreement with his mother. "Alright, ma'am."
"Ma'am!"
"Easy, ma." Puck places his hand on the table. "Kurt's very old-fashioned when it comes to words and actions. Just give him the meal to get into the groove of how you think things should be done. I mean how things should be done." He quickly corrects when she turns her glare on him. "You haven't had a chance to have a decent conversation with him this summer so try to meet him on his level."
"Or yours." Kurt quickly agrees too. "Either is perfectly fine."
Ms. Puckerman smiles and nods with an accomplished look to Puck. "See. The boy can defend himself and change at the same time. This is good. Maybe you can learn something. Now." She claps her hands as she jumps from one subject to the next. "I hope your not opposed to a Kosher meal. I need to practice for when the old bag gets here." She grumbles before sliding back in her chair before making her way over to the stove.
"Why do you have to be such a suck up?" Puck asks harshly under his breath as he scoots his own chair a few inches closer to Kurt so he can hear without repercussions from his mother.
"I'm gay." Kurt sings softly under his breath with a smirk before picking up a roll from the bread basket in the middle of the table.
Puck's snort brings an eye from his mother and a mumbled excuse on Puck's part before the boy settle into a brooding state with his arms across his chest, occasionally laughing at something funny and unseen by Kurt and Gina. Gina sets several bowls of side dishes out on the table before placing some odd dish out that Kurt would assume to be the main dish. Gina eyes him for a second to gauge his reaction before she serves it onto his plate and dares him to question her action with a glare.
"So, Kurt." Gina sits down and starts serving herself along with Puck. "I'm going to skip the small talk about the weather and where you get your nice clothes because we both know the answer to those. Since you're close with my son, that means your close with me and no question is too personal."
Kurt's eyes widen along with Puck and Puck looks away, leaving a suddenly small Kurt left to fend for himself with the woman. Every time that he met the woman prior she was generally soft spoken, but now Kurt's thinking that it was because they were at funerals and not under the safety of her own house. At first he liked the woman for being soft spoken but firm, but now he's not too sure of his personal opinion on her.
She smiles at him as if she knows of his changing thoughts, but she doesn't mention them as she questions him. "So are you dating anyone? Any fancy guys that I should know about as your best friends mother?"
Kurt tries not to smile, happy that the question wasn't as personal as he first thought it'd be based on her knowing smirk. "No, ma-" He stops himself and clears his throat. "No, Gina. I've enjoyed the single life that I've been living since birth and I don't see that changing in the foreseeable future. Or the unforeseeable in fact." Kurt adds under his breath as he glances down to his food, letting his fork swirl in the unnamed main dish.
"And why is that?" Gina inquires as she continues to eat. "I mean, you're a fine looking boy. I remember seeing you during parent teachers conference a few months ago and you were a scrawny boy. Now that you've filled out a bit, I think your chances of finding a bangable guy is pretty high."
"Mom." Puck whines slightly. "I don't think being . . . crude is the best way to get Kurt to talk."
"He seems to be doing just fine." Gina chuckles before returning her gaze to Kurt. "So?"
Kurt lets out a shaky breath as he sets his fork down, his hands shaking as he puts them under the table before looking up to the woman. "This is a small town in Ohio. On top of that, it's a homophobic one that doesn't have the best track record. The nearest gay bar is half an hour away and it's only protected because the governor's son frequents it and no one wants to cause outrage from that angel. I've been bullied for years for being who I am. I'm also the only openly gay person in this town. That should tell you right there why I don't enter the dating pool."
Gina raises an eyebrow at Kurt, but slowly nods in agreement to his many words. "True, but incredibly sad and something that shouldn't affect who you date. There have been many people who date discreetly and-"
"I don't want to be in a secret relationship." Kurt cuts her off, feeling more confident with each second. "I'm not going to hide myself or future partner just because some people are too narrow-minded to see that love comes in all forms. I'm also not going to endanger someone by making them be public with me. If by some chance I was to meet someone in the closet, I wouldn't do that."
Gina sits back slowly, setting her fork down on the table as she intertwines her fingers together and looks at Kurt with her piercing eyes. Puck finds himself giving Kurt quick and worried glances while Kurt keeps his own gaze with Gina. He knows that if he was to break sight with the woman, that she might not continue to be civil with him. It's not that she's homophobic, it's just that she wants to know that Kurt is genuine with his reasoning for keeping himself single and isolated. As for the how the conversation escalated so quickly and easily was oblivious to him, but it's all worth it when she smiles and chuckles.
"Good." She goes back to eating her food, the atmosphere instantly becoming lighter and more friendly. "You don't need no man to make you happy anyways. Or woman if you ever decide to go that way."
"I very much doubt I will." Kurt retorts with a smile while Puck tries not to choke on his food. "There's just something so . . . off about being with them."
"I hear you." Gina nods as a small smile crosses her face. "It worked for me a few times in college, but then it just got to exhausting."
"What!" Kurt and Gina burst out laughing while Puck starts choking on his food, having to pound his chest a few times to cough some bits of meat up whilst hist face is showing nothing but horror. "Ma!" he whines as soon as he's able to breathe without inhaling something that would make him choke further. "Don't. Just . . . I don't want to hear that."
"Then you shouldn't have invited your delightful friend over for me to entertain with my embarrassing stories." Gina shrugs at her son before taking a drink.
Kurt looks to Puck with a smile, his foot under the table resting against the other boys. "Just relax. Have some fun and laugh. It's been ages since I've heard you be so relaxed."
"I'm relaxed around you all of the time, thank you very much." Puck chuckles.
Kurt rolls his eyes. "I know, but humor me and your mother."
"Why aren't you two dating?"
Kurt and Puck's eyes widen before they both look at the same time to Gina who is watching their not-so-quiet exchange with curious eyes. Kurt slowly moves his foot away from Puck and quickly becomes uncomfortable. How on earth is he expected to answer something like this when Puck is a guy and the last time he was asked that question it was from Tina's parents and how he was over there all the time.
"Ma." Puck starts off slowly as he glances at Kurt before looking to his mother again. "You do realize that Kurt is a guy, right?"
"So . . ." Gina waves a hand as she sits up straight. "Who cares? What does that have to do with anything?"
"Well . . . I'm not . . . er-" He looks to Kurt as he tries to think of a way to answer his mother without seeming offensive to Kurt. "He's not . . . he's not the person I typically date." He finally settles for, happy when Kurt nods with his own gaze set upon Gina.
"I'm still not understanding what this has to do with anything." Gina looks between the two, confused.
"It's because I'm a guy, Gina." Kurt tries his turn at clarifying. "Noah is straight and interested in women. I am a guy and therefor not a viable candidate for someone of his interests."
"But you two love each other right?" Gina points out as she frowns with confusion.
Kurt and Puck slowly look to each other again, each with their own concerns and questions about where this is going. While Puck looks uncertain, mainly due to the deep conversation that he'd usually never commute with his mother about, Kurt is deep in thought about how deep their connection is. It's true that he's extremely close with the boy and he trusts him much more than he would have ever thought possible given their past, but . . . maybe he does.
"Ma." Puck clears his throat as he looks away from Kurt. "Kurt and I . . . we have a special . . . bond. We were brought together under some sucky circumstances and that's what this was based off. At first." He's quick to add with a glance to Kurt, finally speaking to the boy. "Now we're kind of best friends. He's closer than any friend that I've ever had before, and I still feel like I don't have to change to be what he wants me to be. He accepts me for how I am just as I do for him. I can play basketball with him like I could with other friends, but I can also talk to him like I've never had before." He looks back to his mother when Kurt's bottom lip quivers slightly. "We have a really strong bond. So I don't know if it's love, but it's something pretty far up there."
"Yes." Kurt yelps out, his eyes widening as he struggles to control the volume of his voice after Puck's surprising revelation. "What he said."
Gina looks between the two, slowly nodding her head and clearly just as impressed about Puck's mini-speech just as much as Kurt was. "So you love each other more or less than?" She assumes and continues on when neither boy deny or even attempt to deny it. "Then why don't you date? Since when does a gender have to do with being in love? And don't say that you can't be in love because of your genders because the LGBTQPA community will beg to differ." She stops and her eyes roll up as she tries to think. "I think I may have missed a letter. Regardless." She looks back to the boys. "Now I'm not saying that you are in love, or if you that you're just not aware of it yet, but don't just put aside the possibility because of gender. I for one think that you two would look great together and the multiple conflicting interests would just give you two more to learn and overcome with each other."
Before either of them can respond, Gina is picking up her empty plate and making her way over to the sink, signifying the end of the discussion. Both Kurt and Puck find themselves wanting to avoid each other's gaze and return to their barely eaten meals. In Kurt's mind, he finds Gina's logic more than compelling and logical, but he knows that people can't just jump gender attraction in an instant. Yes the thought can be planted there and someone can come out very late in life, but it doesn't seem to fit in with what he knows of Puck. Maybe it's just one side of Noah Puckerman that he hasn't seen.
Wow. Almost a two month gap! So sorry. It's been work and sleep for me. I promise that as soon as I update on other stories, you'll have another chapter. Hopefully within two weeks and not two months. Let me know what you think of the chapter. Someone had to put these thoughts into these boys minds. Hehe.
