Okay, with any luck I was able to update this on the appropriate day. Start the fic.
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"Th-The Hyuga parlor?" Naruto repeated.
He looked down and saw that he was tied up with some rope yet again.
"That's right. It's just a quaint little room for the family to chat with friends and have some tea maybe."
"So why bring me here?"
"It's a good place to cuddle of course!" she cheered as she sat herself down next to Naruto and wrapped both her arms around him.
Naruto sighed and hung his head. "Should have seen that one coming."
Iruka had ducked in to an alleyway to try and escape Jungle Anko, but he became a little disorientated when Hinata used the Time Skip no Jutsu. Which was odd for him because he didn't seem to have changed that much at all, it was a little disappointing.
"FOUND YOU!" came a shout from the end of the alleyway.
"Anko please! We're in an alley way for crying out loud!"
"Well my darling dolphin I think that's just…what's that behind you?"
Iruka turned around and noticed the wall behind him had some graffiti written on it. It read 'Naruto was here. PS. Please help me. PPS. Hinata's gone nuts and is after me. PPPS. I'm scared. She sucked me in to a ball somehow.' Iruka gave a heavy sigh and buried his face in his palm.
"Never thought the brat was one to send out an S.O.S."
Iruka jumped as he saw Anko standing next to him hands on her hips, reading the graffiti.
"I thought he grew out of this kind of thing." He said a little nervously, maybe he could get her mind off of him by changing the subject.
"It's actually kind of a mood killer." Anko said with a frown.
Iruka gave a weak smile. "R-Really?"
Anko chortled a little. "Nah not really, I'm just yanking your chain."
She pulled out a kunai and cut a trip wire Iruka couldn't believe he hadn't noticed earlier, and then he was suddenly hurled through the air by the very ground he stood on sprung up leaving Anko standing on the ground laughing like a hyena.
"Now Iruka will crash in to my apartment building but he'll be too injured to run away." she reached in to her jacket and pulled out a pair of binoculars and started to watch his dissent. "Now I can just sit back and wait to play his 'special' nur…he just over shot my apartment. Iruka, where the Hell are you headed? Oh dear!"
Anko bit her tongue as she saw where he was headed. "Iruka that's the wall! That's the border wall! IRUKA! I demand you defy the laws of physics right now and get back here!"
SLAM!
Anko bit her thumb nail as she heard Iruka hit the wall. "Oh gee, I hope I can still play his 'special' nurse and not his widow."
To say Hiashi Hyuga was surprised to see his eldest daughter in the parlor with a tied up young man would be like saying a hurricane was just a little gust of wind.
"Hinata! You let that young man go this inst…is that Naruto?"
"That's right, daddy. But I have to keep him tied up or else he'll run away."
Hiashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm…Naruto is actually pretty well liked in the village now a days."
"HOLY SHIT! I AM?!"
"Actually might make a good son in law….But you can't tie someone up and keep them hostage just because you love them."
Hinata frowned looking back and forth between Naruto and her father. "Really?"
"Yes. That's what your mother used to tell me. Now cut him free or you'll never have a healthy relationship with him."
Hinata hung her head sadly. "Yes father…" she got out her kunai and started to cut Naruto's ropes.
As soon as she was done Naruto made a dash and leapt through the window, which is to say he actually crashed through it leaving a Naruto shaped hole behind.
"Well what're you waiting for?" Hiashi asked. "A true Hyuga never lets a love interest escape. You don't see Neji giving up do you?"
Ino let out a wordless battle cry as she repeatedly bashed a chair over Neji's head. Despite her assault Neji started to get back up regardless.
"Why?!" she shouted at him. "Why do you have to be so creepy?!"
"Because it's all I know." he stated simply before Ino broke the chair over his head.
"Wh-What?"
Neji stood up and started to speak but then a spout of blood shout out from the back of his head where Ino hit him.
"EEEEK! Bandage yourself up first!"
"Hm. Very well."
Neji grabbed the base of Ino's dress and ripped off a long piece and started to work it in to a head bandage.
With a scream of "FRESH!" Ino slapped Neji across the face promising to leave a red hand print on his cheek.
"Now then as I was saying; when I was dating Tenten all this 'creepy' stuff that I do was her idea. She said she enjoyed all the extra attention, but we did this stuff so often I kind of forgot how to do anything else with a lady."
Ino had been paying so much attention to Neji's little explanation she had put the chair down without even realizing it.
"AHA! GOTCHA!" Neji shouted before giving Ino a flying tackle.
Anko dragged Iruka through the streets by one leg "You still believe me right? That I didn't mean for you to hit the wall?"
"My left arm and right leg are broken!" Iruka snapped.
"And that's why I'm pulling you by your left leg." chirped Anko.
Before Iruka could make his tenth demand for a trip to the hospital he saw an orange blur speeding his way.
"Is that…Naruto?"
Yes indeed, Naruto had stopped just short of Anko and Iruka. "Iruka-sensei, you've gotta help me! I have girl problems the like of which you'd never believe!"
Anko dragged Iruka up a little closer to herself.
"I'm sorry, Naruto. But right now I have problems of my own."
Naruto looked between Anko and Iruka and then instantly knew what he was talking about. "Oh no! No! Not you too!"
"I'm afraid so Naruto. And if your problem is anything like mine then you can't afford to stand still for this long."
Naruto frowned. "But…sensei…"
"Run Naruto!" Iruka shouted. "Run and don't look back!"
Naruto sobbed silently as he turned and ran.
"DON'T LOOK BACK, NARUTO! DON'T LOOK BACK!"
Meanwhile in a forest, Sasuke was busy looking for some more masculine clothing.
"Paaaaants! Where are you my pants?!"
He lifted a boulder and stuck his head underneath. "Pants?"
"SASUKE!
Itatchi panted as he maneuvered through the trees. "Sasuke I….why are you wearing a dress?"
"That's what I'd like to know."
Itatchi opened his mouth to speak but instead gave an involuntary shudder. "OOoooh!
Why do I have this feeling that if we were to fight I would lose?"
"Because you probably already did. But reality is so messed up right now I'm surprised we can even tell which way is up."
"Well anyways, I can't get the dames to shut up about yaoi so I thought I'd look in to this craziness that's been happening with everyone lately and guess what I found out?"
Sasuke scratched his head, no matter what he just couldn't find his pants. "What?"
"It looks like Cupid, the God of Love and Happiness, has gone insane and is shooting everyone."
"That makes sense."
"It does? Really?"
"NO NOT REALLY! Nothing about today has made any sense! But now I know who I can take it out on!"
Sasuke activated his curse mark but his second wing was made out of snakes.
"Now behold as I use snakes to fly!"
"You're gonna what?"
"I know! I know! It doesn't make a lot of sense, but neither does using the Chidori on myself to defuse bombs attached to my blood cells."
"I think you need to go find that baby now. This is starting to make my head hurt."
Naruto panted tiredly but gave a soft smile. "Okay, I climbed the wall, jumped through the trees, swam rivers, and trudged through mud. I think I finally lost her."
"If you really think that's true, then you should look at your hand." said a voice.
"Why?" Naruto's gaze started to go down his arm. "What's wrong with my…" his hand was being held by both of Hinata's. "OH DARN IT!"
And I'm afraid that's all I can give you this year. I apologize if I got the Hyuga-Hyuuga thing wrong, you see I actually wrote this chapter with a fever. So try to cut me a little slack this year.
