A/N Pretty please re read ch's 6&7 (again) before reading this, I have edited them and they have changed slightly. Plus me not updating in forever I'm sure some of you have forgotten what is going on ;)Grab something to punch while reading this..I've heard it helps..
Mike
"Where is she?" I screamed at Emmett. I was pissed off that my fiancé had left our rehearsal dinner without saying a fucking word to me.
Why would she do that?
Bella isn't the type to just fucking run away from me. She knows she is mine. I bet it's that fucking douche bag ex boyfriend of hers. Controlling prick.
Actually now that I think about it, I haven't seen him around either.
Which is good because if I do I will fucking kill him. I swear. He's fucked her up so much and he doesn't even realize it.
What does he think he's doing showing up here tonight?
She says she invited him but my Bella wouldn't do that. She wouldn't go behind my back to invite someone like him. She won't even speak about him or her past around me. She's scared of him, I think.
He must have heard from his fucking parents about tonight. That has to be the reason that he is here. There is no way that Bella invited him, I refuse to believe that for one second. She was covering for his lame ass because she didn't want me to fight him. I would have, without a fucking doubt.
His cocky attitude when he said he'd go get the invitation. Fuck off, man. You don't have one. I should have asked him to go get it, just to see him scramble when he would have to admit to the fact that he's crashing the party.
He must have figured it would be his last chance to see her before she was mine forever. I wasn't planning on letting go of her. That tight pussy of hers was an amazing fuck, like I was just going to hand that over?
I wonder if he thought he could steal her away from me? Yeah, right. The way she curls into herself whenever she thinks about her past is enough to tell me that he was a huge fuck up.
I have theories about it all, reasons that I've come up with for why she is as fucked up as she is. No matter what else I think of, I've always concluded that he must have been abusive to her. She won't speak about him or what they had, she's scared and has extreme panic attacks. She is timid and not that much into physical intimacy with me. What is that?
Girls always want me. I'm the prize they want to bring home to Mom and Dad. Yet she is different. I think she loves me, definitely. I just can't figure out the rest, but she's off. It all just leads me to believe that he abused her whether it was verbal or physical, I do not know. I will find out though. His power over her and mistakes he made are making my life very difficult.
How am I supposed to fix her? How am I supposed to take his mess and put it all back together? At one point I thought that's exactly what I wanted to do and now I just don't know. It seems like too much work.
"I think she went to Rose's house? She said something about it to her when we were dancing but I wasn't listening. Man, I can't get Rose out of my head-"
"I don't give a fuck." I pushed past him and towards the door. "Her fucking asshole of an ex boyfriend showed up and now she's missing? Does that even sound right to you? Find her."
I walk outside into the night and start looking around again. I need to know where she is. I like to keep tabs on what is mine. If a girl is with me, then they are with me. They aren't straying away, they aren't bossing me around. They are mine. This is bull shit.
I wondered if he still here, I was going to search around for him, if he was stupid enough to have stayed that is. I don't think he's stupid though. He wouldn't do that.
Taking another mans girl didn't seem like his thing. Trust me, I could spot someone like that from a mile away. I have been that guy many times before. I enjoyed the hunt, the thrill of getting her to fall for me and away from her boyfriend. I had always been the type to roam around, never really settle. When I first met Bella, I wanted her. She was beautiful. Smart. Funny. I wanted her in a different way than I had wanted girls before. There was something about her that intrigued me. I wanted more, I wanted to see what was behind those green eyes, under those baggy clothes. More of me wanted to know how it felt to have her riding my dick, sucking me off. I just had all these wants and needs and they all involved her. I wonder if the thrill of the hunt had taken over once again and that's why I found Bella to be so interesting? Thinking that I could pursue the one with her walls up, break them down. Mold her into something I wanted like I had done before with so many other girls. She was and is like the ultimate challenge with all her issues.
I dropped everything and everyone when I met her, wanting to focus on her and only her. I wondered if it was finally time for me to be in a committed relationship, one where I could fuck one girl only.
Then I realized that I had gotten in over my head, that there was more to her than just a superficial ex that I could pull her away from. There was this dark side to this beautiful girl. She had nightmares, waking up screaming in her dreams. She would be depressed and quiet. She would close off interactions with me, wanting to be alone. She would freak out at the littlest things that apparently sparked the dark past she had.
I tried to help her at first, pull things out of her and see what I could do. I'm not heartless. It was annoying and tedious though. There's only so much crying and pushing away I can handle. I knew her mom had died and that she had an ex and things had ended badly. I had tried to get more out of her and failed.
She would never sleep and even though I would tell her I'd stay awake she would always tell me to just go to bed. That she was fine. I knew she wasn't but I went to bed anyways.
That's when it started.
I went back to my old ways, the old me.
I guess it had always been there but I had a softer side to myself when I was with her. That side has stuck around but only for show.
The old me was defintiely pushing itself through.
I had kept it at bay, thinking I needed someone like Bella. She was my punishment for all the girls I'd fucked and left before they woke up. For all the dates I'd stood up. For any horrible thing I had done.
The thing was, I wanted to go back to my old ways. I wanted out.
I couldn't get out though. There was no going back now.
I had to make a decision and make it fast.
I needed to realize that I had stayed in this relationship, putting up with all her bullshit for a reason.
That I needed Bella for more than one reason.
She did make me a better person when I was with her, I always treated her with respect. I was the polite gentleman that women wanted. I knew what I was supposed to do.
I had told myself I would stay with her for those reasons. That maybe in time she could make me the man that I am supposed to be.
I would also stay with her for a reason that I will never voice.
She's amazing for my image, my reputation, my job, my family.
She makes me look good.
She's the girl you bring home to your parents. She's the one that you want to show off to your friends because she's pretty, petite and yet curvy in the right places and has that girl next door type of look to her. She looks innocent and tame, sweet and quiet. She is all these things, without a doubt. Bringing her to home was easy as pie. Having her at work functions is brilliant. She makes me look good. I make her look good. We're perfect together.
So I don't give a fuck that I keep her around for reasons that are more about materialistic, pride and self image. I take care of her, I treat her nicely, I buy her pretty things, I tell her she's beautiful. I do everything I am supposed to and just a few things that I'm not.
Things like Sarah and Ashley and currently Jessica.
I walk back into the party and find Emmett, pulling him into the hallway I yelled at Bella in not so long ago. "Have you heard anything about her? Did anyone hear about where she went?"
"Rose said that Bella told her she's staying there tonight."
"Great. Whatever, I'm calling her. She left without saying bye to her almost husband, what the fuck is that?"
"I don't know man but don't overreact, she did look stressed tonight." Yeah because her fucked up ex was here gallivanting around and trying to take advantage of what is mine.
I grab my phone out of my pocket and dial her number. Now I can figure out where the fuck she is instead of sending out a damn search party.
"Hello?" I hear her voice, its sarcastic and dry. What the hell?
"Bella?" Is she serious right now?
"Yes."
"Where did you go?" I should probably play this differently but I can't, I'm frustrated. I'm demanding and bossy.
"I'm at Rosalie's." She answers in a way that says you should know that. I shouldn't know that though because she never told me she left.
"Now? The party is still going."
"Yes, I know." Her short answers and clipped tone are bothering me. I know we didn't exactly have the best conversation the last time I saw her but I figured she'd get over it pretty quickly. She usually does.
"When I saw you leave the hotel I ran outside to try to find you, where did you go?"
"To my car and then I drove here." That can't be true.
"I saw your car though, you weren't in it." I call her out. I shouldn't though, I'm instigating another fight right now but I can't bring myself to care. Chances of getting pussy from her tonight have already gone down substantially.
"Well, what do you want me to tell you Mike? I left, got in my car and drove here." Fuck. She's annoyed, she's angry with me still and I'm just digging myself further into a hole.
"You're mad at me aren't you. That's why you left." It has to be, there really is no other reason. I know it's not because she seemed quite excited that he was there. All ready to defend him against anyone and everyone.
"No, that's not it. I just wasn't feeling well." I don't know if I believe her but I know I have to just let this go somewhat. It's the only way to get her to not close up on me, to not say no to me later when I want to fuck.
"I didn't mean to upset you earlier. Just the thought of that asshole coming to our rehearsal dinner and dancing with you right in front of me, it's insulting." Well, not as smooth as I had planned but she needed to know.
"Mike it was nothing, we were just dancing. You took it all and blew it out of proportion. It was embarrassing. You treated me like a child, pulling me out in the hallway to talk to me, to tell me how fucked up you think I am." I didn't over react, she under reacted. He had his hands on her! Fuck. What do I do now. She's not forgiving me easy and I'm fucking pissed off. Come on, Mike. Get it together. Focus.
"I'm sorry love, I didn't mean any of it. I swear I didn't. I was frustrated and in the moment. I really didn't like him near you, touching you. "God, he touched her. I couldn't stop the next sentence from flowing out of my mouth. "He's your ex for god's sake Bella!"
"I know but it was harmless, completely and totally. It's not like I was all over him. We were dancing. There were people all around, I wasn't trying to hide from you." True but I still hated it. Despised it. My fist clenched at the thought of him. Oh, how I wanted to damage that pretty boy face of his.
"I just didn't like it." I paused, taking a deep breath to calm myself down. I could handle him without getting into a fight with Bella. I would just do it man to man. He would respect that. I bet he's the type to never back down from a fight, just like myself. Except, I never lose. "Bells I miss you. I'm just going to come and see you."
I would just go to Rosalie's now and see her. I'd apologize a million more times because she would make me. She would need reassurance up the fucking ass until she'd finally let me fuck her. Make up sex was never the best with her, like it is with some women, but I didn't give a fuck. Sex was sex. Pussy was pussy.
"No!" She almost yelled at me.
"What?" She didn't want me to go to see her? What the fuck?
"I'm sorry, it's not that I don't want to see you its just.. Please, just go with Emmett for tonight. Or stay at home, either one. I am frustrated and I don't want to be angry with you. Plus this will work out better anyways." Well this was interesting. She really didn't want me there? Keep cool, Mike. Play it like you always do. Make her want you. She loves you, she won't want you to leave her, she'll get over this argument.
"But Bells, I want to be there for you. I don't want to fight with you before our wedding. I want everything to be good." I tried again, I really did want the sex. I mean as boring as she was, she was tight as fuck.
"It is. We're fine. I just-"
"You don't want me there?" I answered for her. She didn't want me there and she couldn't just straight up tell me. Even with her stand-off tendencies this was very odd.
"That's not it. I just, I'm not feeling well. I'm drinking some tea and then I need to get a good night's sleep before tomorrow. I want to make sure everything is perfect."
"Bells are you sure, you seem stressed?" I'm trying to rein in my asshole tendencies so that I can get her back on my side. I feel like she's drifting away from me.
"Of course I'm stressed we're getting married in two days. Not even, one day." I am so glad I didn't have to deal with all those girly details. I only agreed to help with a few things and only things that were absolutely necessary. Everything else was up to her, I could give a shit.
"I know but I hate to have you like that."
"I'm fine. We have a lot to do and I just have a lot on my mind. I'll be getting into bed in just a few minutes, it would be pointless." Getting into bed without me, you better not touch yourself Bella.
"Are you sure?" Giving one last chance for her to change her mind.
"Yes. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay baby, I love you."
"Love you too." She loves me.
"I cant wait till you're my wife." Sliding that in, trying to give me some kudos points for later on. Letting her know that I wanted her to be my wife, that I couldn't wait.
"I can't wait either." Good, she was content with all of this. She would be my wife soon and then we wouldn't have any of this bull shit going on. No ex boyfriends would be coming onto my turf, I would finally have complete control.
"Goodnight."
"Night." I hung up with the satisfaction that I had somewhat cleaned up the mess I had created with her. She would be over it all by morning and we could move forward.
I do love her, I mean part of me does, right?
I don't know, who cares?
I love what she does for me and my image.
There's just a part of me who is addicted to the dirty bad girl that I wanted her to become, the one I thought was buried inside of her like it is in most girls. Apparently not her though.
Doesn't matter anyways. I'm a resourceful man, I know how to get what I want.
I look down at my phone and immediately open my messages.
Yes.
I need to.
She's at the top of the list.
I send off the text, knowing she'll respond within seconds.
M: Hey
When I hear the phone ring in my hand I look down and I'm right, there she is.
J: Hey you
Always so responsive. I love it.
M: Tonight?
J: You're free? Thought you were off getting married.
Oh, she thinks she's funny? Whatever, I don't even give a fuck right now.
M: No, not till Saturday.
I don't even bother with a witty comeback. I know I'll get what I want tonight.
J: Meet me at my place in an hour.
I text her back as I walk up the stairs to shower and change, taking off my jacket and unbuttoning my pants as I move.
M: See you then.
A/N: I'm sure you have an idea of who "J" is… a penny for your thoughts?
