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"Elena!" Jeremy came running down the stairs. He had his arms wrapped around Elena before she could even blink.
"I was so worried about you." He whispered into her hair.
She smiled into his shoulder. The love the two of them shared always made her feel better.
"I'm okay, Jer." She gently remarked.
He released her from the embrace, but kept his hands on her shoulders, searching her face. He didn't entirely believe she was okay.
"Are you sure? Everything happened so fast, and by the time I got out to the lake, you and Damon had already left."
Elena shifted uneasily beneath his hands. "So you saw what had happened?"
Sympathy flooded his eyes. "I did, but I completely understand why you did it. You saved Caroline's life, 'Lena."
She nodded. "I know that, but it's still hard to accept."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jeremy softly offered.
Elena briefly considered it, but decided she didn't want her mind to drift back there, not right now.
"No, I'm okay for now. I talked about it a lot last night with Damon. But thanks, Jer." She smiled.
He looked at her suspiciously. "So, you stayed with Damon last night?"
Elena shot him the "please don't go there look." Jeremy raised his hands in defense.
"Hey, it was just a question. Plus I noticed you didn't invite Stefan inside."
She smacked his arm. "You were spying!" She half-scolded.
"No! I heard a car in the driveway, so I checked it out! It was just in observation."
Elena rolled her eyes, but couldn't stay mad at her brother.
"Let's just say I finally made my choice and leave it at that."
Jeremy connected the dots and slowly smiled. "As long as he doesn't try to beat me up anymore, I'm fine with it."
Elena chuckled. "No guarantees. But if he does, he'll have to deal with an angry me."
"I'd be scared of that." Jeremy laughed.
It felt surprisingly good to have a sibling talk about boys with Jeremy. Although most sisters would dread having overprotective brothers, she preferred these conversations over the usual doom and gloom ones that filled their lives. But as she thought more about the news of her choice, there was one person she felt deserved to know.
"I'm going to shower real fast and then head out for a bit. Is that okay?" She asked Jeremy.
"Sure, where are you headed?"
She paused. "There's just someone I need to talk to."
The long row of gravestones still had a way of overwhelming Elena. She didn't think she would ever get used to the immense amount of loss their family had suffered. She laid a white daisy in front of each stone, briefly closing her eyes at each one. When she came to the last and most recent one, she knelt down in the freshly cut grass.
"Hey, I'm sorry this is my first time visiting since your funeral. Things have just been really hectic, especially without you." She swallowed. Alaric had become such a significant person in her life. But she didn't realize how much she and Jeremy had come to depend on him, until he was gone.
She brushed a stray tear off her cheek with the back of her hand.
"I came to tell you news that I think you would've wanted to know." She paused. "I finally made a choice." She imagined him responding with a sarcastic "finally."
"I know, took long enough, right?" She smirked. "I chose Damon."
"I don't think you'd be too shocked by that. But I don't know how happy you would be about it."
Although Damon was Alaric's close friend, he never really enjoyed the idea of the two of them together.
"Don't worry, he won't hurt me. He loves me, and I love him." Alaric might not have been exactly pleased by her choice, but she was certain he would've supported her.
"He misses you, you know. We haven't talked about it much, but I can tell there are times he just really needs his best friend. Even though we both know he'd never admit that to either of us." Damon wasn't exactly the best at sharing his emotions, but she knew him better than anyone.
"I miss you too." She sadly whispered.
"So do I." Elena whirled around to find Meredith standing behind her. She had been too distracted to even here Meredith approach.
"I'm sorry for intruding. I can go." Meredith quickly said.
Elena shook her head. "No, it's fine. He would be glad to see you."
Meredith smiled. "Sometimes I still walk into Mystic Grill and expect to see him sitting at the bar."
Elena stood beside her and nodded. "I expect the same thing when I walk into my house."
"How are you and Jeremy doing?" Meredith asked, concerned.
Elena took a deep breath. "We're dealing." It was the most honest answer Elena could give.
They stood in silence for a few minutes, both wishing for Alaric's presence. Elena glanced over at Meredith and noticed her all black attire.
"Meredith, did you come here just to visit Alaric?" She questioned.
"No, today was my cousin's funeral. But I wanted to stop by here before heading to the brunch. I've just been so busy with work at the hospital and everything."
Elena froze. Her cousin's funeral, as in the cousin she killed. How could she have forgotten Ted Fell was Meredith's cousin?
"You okay, Elena? You look a little pale." Meredith interrupted Elena's thoughts.
Elena tried to compose herself. "I'm fine." She lied. "I'm so sorry for your loss." Her voice cracked.
Meredith eyed her suspiciously. "Thank you. I have to get going, but are you sure you're alright?"
Elena nodded. "Yeah, it's just been a long day."
"Okay, well take care. It was great seeing you."
If only she knew that Elena was the cause of her cousin's untimely death. Elena watched as Meredith walked through the maze of gravestones to her car. Once she had driven away, Elena fell to the ground. Ted Fell had a family. A family who was now painfully mourning the loss of a loved one. A family who was experiencing the same grief that Elena knew all too well. She would never wish that emotional pain on anyone, but she had caused it anyway. She grasped the grass between her fingers. The guilt was overwhelming. She murdered someone. It didn't matter if it was out of defense; she still had taken a life. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will away the crushing weight of regret. Elena became lost in her own mind, too many emotions vying for power. It was then she felt the strangest sensation, a calming darkness just inches away. She was about to venture towards it, but was brought back by familiar hands taking hold of her face. When she opened her eyes, she was met by intense, panic-filled, blue eyes. As Elena began to focus on his concerned face, she then noticed his voice.
"Elena. Hey, Elena. Can you hear me?" Damon pleaded.
"Damon." Elena croaked.
"Yeah, it's me. What happened?" His thumbs were stroking her wet cheeks.
Elena shook her head. "Meredith was here. Ted Fell's funeral. He had a family, Damon." Her thoughts came out in short, rushed phrases.
Damon sighed. He recognized the guilt in her eyes.
"It's okay, Elena. We talked about this last night. You saved Caroline." He tried to soothe her.
"I know. But the guilt won't go away, Damon."
He stroked her hair. "It will in time. You just need to believe that your actions were justified."
Elena grew quiet. "I felt it, Damon." She whispered.
He furrowed his brows. "Felt what?" His voice low.
"The switch."
Damon's stomach dropped. He drew back so that he was staring into Elena's eyes once more.
"Elena, listen to me." His voice was deadly serious. "No matter how much better it would seem to have everything turn off, it's not. Trust me. Turning it off might be easy. But finding your way back is one of the hardest things."
"I don't want to turn it off, Damon." She said through fresh tears. "I never want to not know what it feels like to love you. But it draws me in, Damon. And I don't know if I'm strong enough to stay grounded."
"I will keep you grounded." Damon promised fiercely. He then kissed her passionately. Elena immediately gave into his touch, and all the despair that consumed her moments ago vanished. He then slightly pulled back, keeping his forehead against hers.
"What do you feel right now?" He softly asked.
"Love, hope, safety, and passion." She responded truthfully.
"Good. Now I want you to remember all of those feelings anytime you feel like turning off the switch."
She nodded.
"Don't ever leave me, Elena." He firmly stated, although she could sense his desperate vulnerability.
"Never. Promise to never turn off your switch either."
"I won't as long as I have you." He kissed her forehead.
They sat in silence for a long moment in front of Alaric's grave.
"I told you not to worry." Elena spoke to the gravestone, breaking the silence.
Damon smirked. "So he knows about us, huh?"
Elena enthusiastically nodded.
"I can almost hear his threatening speech in my head." They both laughed.
"Want to head back to the boarding house for some afternoon snuggling? Elena winked.
Damon rolled his eyes. "I thought that was a morning thing."
"It's an anytime thing. But I promise I'll follow it up with more of this." She reached up and kissed him tenderly.
"Well then what are we waiting for?" He picked her up and sped them to his car.
While driving down the road, Damon cleared his throat. "So Stefan came back to the Boarding House today and moodily locked himself in his room." He looked over at Elena. "I'm guessing that has something to do with you?"
Elena looked out the window. "I told him it was over. But it didn't go that badly. We decided to be friends."
"Hmm. I wonder if that friendship offer will extend to me as well." He paused. "I doubt it."
She glanced at him. "You two will find your way back to each other. I'll make sure of it."
Damon turned his attention back to the road. "Might be a long time, Elena"
She placed a hand on his thigh. "Well a long time is nothing compared to eternity, which is conveniently what we have."
He gave a small smile. This woman could convince him to do anything.
"Is he still there?" Elena questioned. Although they had ended on a relatively good note, she didn't want to push the limits by shoving her and Damon's relationship in Stefan's face.
"No, he went out to kill Bambi and Thumper. We have a few hours to ourselves."
"For once." Elena chuckled.
When they pulled into the driveway, Damon sped to Elena's side of the car and opened her door.
"Such a southern gentleman." She smiled up at him and took his awaiting hand.
He shrugged. "Only for people I actually like."
They walked up the sidewalk. "I hope you don't just like me." She mocked hurt.
He stopped her on the patio. "You're right. I kind of, sort of am in love with you." And kissed her nose.
She giggled. "Well I kind of, sort of love you too."
"When did we become so cheesy?" He laughed.
Damon opened the door for Elena. They were still completely focused on each other. When they stepped into the foyer, two piercing shots rang out, sending both Damon and Elena to the ground.
"Gotcha." Connor evilly grinned.
And the drama of the story begins... I know this chapter was a little random, but I felt it was necessary. I'm also trying to stay in character as much as possible. Let me know what you think in the reviews! Each review inspires me to write more :)
