Heyyyyy, I hope you enjoy!

Dilemma

Danny watched Clara walk into the school a metre or two ahead of him. He'd spoken to her a few times but that was so many times less than he wanted. He liked her, he really liked her, but he hadn't yet built up the courage to put himself forwards. Every time he tried something seemed to get in the way.

She headed straight to her classroom and set her things down. She walked towards the wall to check her timetable and sighed when she saw what she had next. A double lesson with year 11s. She sat down and opened up her laptop, smiling a little when she saw Danny walk past and look inside the door in the reflection of the screen. He fancied her. That much was clear. Somehow she guessed he wasn't very good at hiding his feelings. She liked that though. She had meant to speak to him more but hadn't yet gotten round to it.

Her class filed in and Clara got straight on with teaching Pride and Prejudice, which all of the students seemed to hate. As the lesson progressed she noticed that one of her, usually, most keen students was rather distant. Clara walked over to make sure she was okay.

"Charlotte, are you alright?" She spoke quietly so not to make a fuss. Charlotte nodded slowly but couldn't hold back the tears that built up in her eyes. Clara frowned. "Are you sure?"

"I- I don't know." Clara crouched down beside her and smiled.

"Well you are welcome to talk to me about it if you feel comfortable, only if you want to though. I'm always here." Tears started to fall down her cheeks now so Clara stood back up and sighed. "Come with me for a minute." Charlotte followed Clara outside the classroom. She began to wipe at her cheeks to stop the tears so Clara grabbed her a tissue.

"Sorry miss." Clara smiled.

"Don't be sorry, it's completely okay to be upset. What's up? Do you want to talk about it?" Charlotte nodded.

"It's kinda personal..." Clara smiled again.

"That's okay, what's said here stays here. I won't tell anyone. Take all the time you need." She took a deep breath and then started to speak.

"My mum... She collapsed yesterday. She's, she's got cancer. And I don't know what to do. I can't lose her." At that moment Clara's heart sunk. She knew what this felt like. To be so young and scared but at the same time feeling like you have to be brave.

"Hey, she'll be fine! I know it seems like she won't now because it's so fresh in your mind but trust me." Charlotte shook her head.

"No she won't miss. It's... Its terminal. She's got weeks." Clara sighed, slightly regretting what she had just said.

"Oh Charlotte. I'm so so sorry." She wiped away her tears again and shook her head.

"It's alright, it's not your fault." Clara hesitated, she didn't really know what to say. She had so much empathy for Charlotte but there was a limited amount of involvement she could have.

"You know that you can talk to me anytime at all yeah? As I said earlier, I'm always here. Come and sit in my class for some quiet time if you need, or just come and have a chat to get things off your mind. Don't feel like you're being a burden or anything because you're not. I'm here to help. I want to help you. You're a lovely girl, one who doesn't deserve this at all." Charlotte smiled a little.

"Thank you miss." Clara smiled back.

"That's alright. I'm going to go back inside but you can stay out here for as long as you need." She nodded.

One week later

Clara hadn't heard from Charlotte again since the first time they spoke. She knew that she had been off school for a few days, understandingly so, but Clara couldn't stop worrying about her. It had brought back so many memories of her mum and when she found out about her illness. She wanted to help her so badly but she didn't really know how. Talking to her and supporting her was really the only way she could.

That lunchtime Charlotte walked in to her classroom. Clara noted immediately that she looked exhausted and very unhappy.

"Hello you. Come and sit down." She nodded and did so. "I won't ask you how you are as I can tell you're not from your face." Charlotte wiped away her tears and laughed a little.

"Good, I'm sort of fed up of that question now. I mean it's not like my mum is dying or anything." Once she finished speaking she looked back up guiltily. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." Clara shook her head.

"No, that's okay. I know it's frustrating and unfair. I know how you feel." Charlotte nodded and grabbed a tissue.

"You do?" She nodded back before hesitating.

"There's something that a lot of people don't know about me, but I'm going to tell you because it may help you to know... I lost my mum to cancer when I was 19, so not much older than you. I know exactly how you feel." Charlotte looked at her, seeming to feel comfortable that someone else had experienced the same as her. "You feel upset, lonely, angry. It's a whole mix of feelings. But worse of all you worry about how you'll cope when she's not there for you anymore. Am I right?" Charlotte nodded.

"Spot on." Clara smiled gently.

"I think what's important to remember is that feeling in that way is okay. You're allowed to be angry, sad and, frankly, terrified. It would be odd if you weren't." She shook her head.

"But my dad. I have to be strong for my dad." Clara sighed, that was a feeling she knew all too well.

"You don't need to be strong for anyone Charlotte. Your wellbeing and feelings matter too. It is going to be so difficult for your dad but he's going to want to help you. I made that mistake. I hid my feelings from my dad as I felt like it would upset him more but, looking back on it, that was the worst thing to do as he was feeling she same as I was. Talking brings you together and makes things slightly easier, bottling everything up isn't what you should do. Take that from me." She nodded but then paused.

"Can I ask you a question?" Clara nodded.

"Of course."

"How did you cope? After you lost your mum, I mean." Clara sighed.

"I'll be honest with you. For a while I didn't cope very well at all. I did things that I regret and shouldn't have done. But that was due to bottling things up. If I had spoken to someone about how I felt then things would have been easier. Eventually, as hard as it is, you start to accept that she's gone and that the life you have now, no matter how much you want it or don't want it, is the life that you have. So you just have to put your head down and get the hell on with it. That's not me making it sound easy, no way. It's the hardest thing I've ever ever had to do. But after a while the memories you have left of her are happy ones and you remember her for the good things rather than the bad things that you saw and experienced at the end. You'll always miss her, always, I still do everyday. But she never leaves you." She put her hand to her chest. "She's always in here, in your heart. No one can take that away from you." Charlotte nodded and grabbed another tissue.

"So you're okay with it now? You don't feel upset now?" Clara shook her head.

"Obviously I wish she could be here now and I miss her more than anything but it doesn't make me upset anymore. The anniversary is hard and it's hard when you have to talk about it but, trust me, you will get through whatever is to come. And at the end of the day, I know that no matter what I do, no matter where I am my mum would want me to be happy. The same with your mum. This is going to be painful for her too but the biggest thing she will wish for is that you are happy and have a fantastic life ahead of you. I didn't want to deprive my mum of that wish so I pushed on. It gave me the motivation I needed to get through it." Charlotte smiled a little, what Clara had said seeming to settle her.

"Thank you miss." Clara smiled.

"That's alright. Any time. Have you told your friends what's going on?" She shook her head slowly.

"No. I don't know how to. I don't think I can." Clara sighed.

"I know it's hard to find the words to say it but I think you would feel better if they knew. You'd have someone else to speak to and they'd give you so much support. It's all very well talking to your English teacher but having someone your ages' opinion may help you." Charlotte nodded.

"Okay, I will. Thank you miss, I'm gonna go back outside now." Clara smiled.

"Off you go." They gave each other another smile before she left the class. Once she was gone Clara sat back at her desk and sighed. She wanted to help Charlotte, she really did, but it was bringing back so many memories of things she hated to think about. She sat there for a while longer until her thoughts were distracted by the bell for the afternoon lessons sounded.

At the end of the day she grabbed her things and started to walk to her car. Danny strolled behind her. His heart began to beat faster. Come on go speak to her, he told himself. He took a deep breath and then jogged up to her.

"Hi." Clara smiled, glad to see him despite her melancholy mood.

"Hey, are you alright?" Danny nodded and then hesitated. "Is something the matter?" He looked back at her and shook his head quickly.

"No! No, not at all. I, umm. I just wanted to ask you something..." She smiled. She knew what was coming but she thought she'd stay quiet and see if he managed to get the words out.

"Of course." He smiled awkwardly.

"I was thinking, well wondering, if you would... If you would like to, I mean don't if you don't want to, you can say no..." She giggled.

"I'd love to come for a drink with you Danny." He looked at her with surprise.

"How did you know I was-?"

"Lucky guess?" He now smiled.

"Okay, well in that case, I'll see you very soon. Have a nice evening Miss Oswald." She smiled gently. Something about him made her so happy.

"Yes, you too Mr Pink." He smiled back at her and headed across the carpark to his car.

As she sat in her car the melancholia faded for a second. She had waited so long for Danny to speak to her again. Albeit, she could have spoken to him first but something kept stopping her. She was so glad that it had finally happened. There was something about him that filled her with happiness. He made her feel whole again, and that was something that no one could usually do.

Charlotte wasn't in for the whole next week of school. Clara had checked with reception to see if she had left a message as to why she wasn't in but there was nothing. Deep down she knew why she was off, she just didn't want to think that it was true. It was so so unfair. And Charlotte didn't deserve one bit of it.

Clara was distracted all day. She couldn't seem to focus on anything. She was worried about Charlotte and her date with Danny was that evening. Danny made her so happy but she couldn't help being nervous for it. When the end of the day rolled around she was disturbed by a knock at the door. She grinned, hiding any feeling of sadness she felt.

"Hey." He smiled and walked towards her after shutting the door behind him.

"So, you still okay for tonight?" She nodded.

"Definitely." He smiled again.

"7, I'll pick you up." She giggled a little.

"Where are we going exactly?" He shrugged.

"You'll have to wait and see." She sighed.

"Dannyyy." He shook his head.

"Nope, you'll have to wait. I'll see you later." He walked out of the class before she could say anymore.

He picked her up at 7 on the dot. She walked to her door nervously, checking herself in the mirror as she did so. She opened it to see Danny stood there looking nervous, but very smart. He looked at her, rather speechless.

"You look... You look incredible." She blushed a little.

"Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek to which he returned the same. She then grabbed her bag and her jacket and followed him to his car.

They arrived at a beautiful restaurant. Danny led her in and showed her to their table.

"This is lovely Danny. I didn't even know this was here." He smiled.

"Not many people do, it's nice though. I thought it would be perfect for tonight."

After lots of amazing food, wine and conversation Danny drove her back home. When they arrived back at hers he switched off the engine and turned to face her.

"Thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed myself." He said. She smiled.

"I'm the one who should be saying thank you Danny, thank you for organising it all. I loved it."

"You're welcome. Is this something you'd like to do again?" He said innocently making her laugh.

"I think I could force myself too." She winked at him. They then both went silent. Danny looked into her eyes and hesitated before moving slightly closer to her. She did the same. Their lips slowly met and they kissed deeply. They pulled apart and smiled. "I would ask you to come in but I don't know if-" He shook his head.

"I like you Clara. I really like you. I think we should do this properly." She nodded in agreement.

"Me too." He smiled and got out of the car to open her door for her. He walked her to her front door and kissed her on the cheek.

"Goodnight Clara Oswald." She rolled her eyes at the use of her full name.

"Goodnight Danny Pink." They smiled at each other.

The next few days passed slowly. Danny was clearly very pleased with himself. He had been so good to Clara as well, so sweet. She, however, felt rather under the weather. The last lesson of the day came around and Clara noted that it was Charlotte's class. She watched them filter in without seeing her. Suddenly, a minute or so after everyone else, Charlotte came running in. She sat down quickly and smiled slightly at Clara. She noticed how drained she looked. It reminded her of how she felt after her mum. It could only be bad news.

At the end of the lesson Clara asked Charlotte to stay behind. She knew what the news was as soon as she looked at her face.

"It's happened hasn't it?" Tears began to roll down her face as she nodded gently. Clara walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. They then sat down on the table next to them. "I know it sounds like a stupid question, but how are you coping?" Charlotte shrugged.

"I feel so empty. Tears just fall down my cheeks now and I don't even notice that I'm crying. I thought I'd feel sad, angry even. But I don't. I feel nothing. I just feel numb." Clara nodded.

"I know the feeling. When did it happen?"

"Last Monday."

"What about your dad? Have you spoken to him? How's he coping?" She wiped her eyes and sighed.

"He's not spoken to me. I haven't seen him for a week. He went away to one of his friends apparently. So my grandma is staying at home with me. I heard her on the phone having a go at him last night, telling him to come home and that he should be here to look after me. But I don't think it made any difference." Clara sighed, feeling a huge deal of empathy.

"It's tough right?" She nodded so Clara put her arm around her.

"Your dad will come round. He's feeling exactly the same as you right now but he's chosen to cope with it in a different way to you. Everyone copes with grief differently. But trust me, it will settle down soon and he'll come back. It will also become easier to comprehend. It will never not be a painful part of your life but it will start to become less difficult."

"It doesn't feel that way right now." Clara nodded.

"I know it doesn't, believe me, I know. But it will. Trust me on that. It's going to take a lot of bravery and a lot of strength. Sometimes you'll feel like giving up but I know that you can do this. You're strong. There's so much more left of life, so much more that you will go on to achieve to make your mum the proudest mum out there." Charlotte smiled a little as she grabbed a tissue. Clara stood up and walked to her desk. "Now why don't you go and have a chat to your friends? Have a bit of a laugh." She nodded and collected her things together.

"Thank you so much miss." Clara smiled.

"No problem. As I said, any time." Charlotte went to walk out but Clara stopped her just before she did so. "Hey, chin up." They shared a smile.

Clara sat down at her desk and put her head in her hands. She suddenly came over extremely emotional. She felt so strongly towards Charlotte's situation and could empathise with it so deeply. Charlotte reminded her too much of herself and it made her so upset to watch. Tears began to fall down Clara's cheeks and, unlike usual, she made no effort to stop them. She sat for a while in silence. It was only when Danny walked into the room that she stood up and wiped her eyes. He walked towards her happily, being his normal unobservant self. As he got closer his expression changed from a smile to a look of concern.

"What's up!?" She shook her head as tears fell down her cheeks.

"I'm fine." He shook his head back at her.

"No, I'm taking you home. And then I'm looking after you because you're clearly not okay, no matter how well you try to me convince me otherwise." He kissed her head and then went to his class to grab his things.

He drove her home and then made a cup of tea as she got herself comfortable on the sofa. He walked over and sat down next to her quietly. She stared ahead of her without saying a thing. He didn't know whether to ask or not. Their relationship was still so young, he didn't want to step out of line. After a few more seconds he plucked up the courage.

"What's wrong Clara?" She looked at him, tears still filling her eyes. "I want to help you. I hate seeing you like this." She sighed.

"There's so much you don't know." He picked up one of her hands.

"Then tell me. Talk to me, please?" She nodded.

"Okay, but it's not going to be very cheery." He smiled a little.

"That doesn't matter. Take your time." She nodded again.

"When I was 19 I lost my mum. Cancer." His expression became more concerned. "It was the worst and lowest time in my life. I hated every second of it. It still hurts me to think about it today, I miss her so much. Usually I'm okay but today..." He nodded and stroked her arm.

"I'm so so sorry Clara." He paused. "What happened today?" She sighed again.

"You know Charlotte, year 11?" He nodded. "You've probably noticed her absent the last few weeks. Her mum has just passed away with terminal cancer. Just like mine. I've been trying my best to hold it all together to help her and to support her but it's so hard. I keep trying to tell her the small positives of the situation and that it will be okay in the end but I completely get how she feels, like there's no point in carrying on." He turned her head to face him.

"Clara, the fact that you've even bothered to reach out and help her will mean enough to her. I'm sure that whatever you've said has made a difference. Sometimes even knowing that someone is there for you can make you feel better. You've definitely given her that. But it's absolutely fine to feel upset about your mum. It's brought up memories?" She nodded. "Losing your mum has got to be the hardest thing ever, but you're so brave. I know you are. Passing on your advice to someone is a great thing to do, you should feel proud of that." She smiled a little. "And I know that you don't like to show emotion, I can tell that from the how you pretended you were fine earlier. But, sometimes Clara Oswald, sometimes it's okay to bring your guard down and feel upset. You're entitled to that." She smiled again.

"I suppose I am."

"You are indeed. And now I'm going to make you dinner and stay with you until that cheeky smile has come back. I want to make sure you're okay."

"Thank you Danny. You don't have to." He shook his head.

"No, I insist. I'm not leaving you when you're like this. It's not fair." She leant in and kissed him deeply, taking him by surprise. She giggled.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it." He shook his head and laughed before kissing her back. They stayed in each other's arms for a while, Clara feeling protection from his grasp. After a few minutes she looked up at him. "Don't go home tonight. Stay here?" He gave her a surprised look.

"What? Are you sure?" She nodded.

"It's the weekend tomorrow and I'd like some company I think." He now smiled.

"Okay. I'd love to." He kissed her again. She smiled at him as he got up to make some food. As he got into the kitchen he punched the air and cheered a 'yes' of achievement to himself. He then smiled happily. He realised then that he hadn't felt this happy in months. He was determined to make sure that Clara was okay again, he wanted nothing more.