The next morning as she sat in therapists waiting room she could feel her anxiety increasing. The blood flow was rushing around her body and she could feel her pulse beating rapidly in her temple. The last councillor she had seen was Mr. Healy and it wasn't a pleasant experience. Granted she didn't have high expectations of guidance councillors in prison but he was even worse than she could have imagined. He used his power to exert his misguided views on women and try to mentally break inmates. As Piper sat there all the time feeling more and more uneasy she began to have a panic attack over her memory of being inside Mr. Healy's office right before being thrown in SHU. The room in which she was sat become blurry and distant all the furniture became fuzzy and all she could picture was the grey; heavy metal door being slammed behind her as she was thrown into solitary.
A wave a nausea passed over her and she felt violently sick. Piper knew she needed to get her breathing under control in order to calm herself down. She had previously had many panic attacks similar to this and knew that eventually the fear would pass. She was anxious that she was showing a sign of weakness in the therapist waiting room and she needed to get her shit together. She didn't want to see the therapist while being so vulnerable and open from her panic attack. She focused on a spot on the opposite wall to her and began to take control of her breathing. She was counting the seconds in her head- breathing in through her nose for five seconds and out through her mouth for seven seconds. She repeated this notion while focusing solely on a spot she had picked on the wall. It was an imperfection in the paint work. After repeating this breathing exercise for a few minutes, she felt herself relax slightly in the chair, her muscles became less tense and her breathing less erratic.
After what seemed like hours, her name was called from a door in the far corner of the room. She tore her eyes away from the imperfection on the wall and looked over towards the owner of the voice. She started from the feet and worked her way up towards the face. As her eyes glided up the body of the person who called her name she couldn't help but appreciate how nice they appeared, when her eyes finally met the end of their route up the body, she focused on the face of the woman stood calling her name. She was tall, slim and had a youthful looking face, she could only have been around 30 years old. She seemed pleasant enough from first sight and this put Piper at ease. She rose to her feet and headed towards the woman who had called her name. As she approached, the woman held out her hand and spoke…
"Good morning Miss Chapman, I'm Sara pleased to meet you."
Piper shook her hand and smiled faintly,
"Good morning and please call me Piper,"
"Piper it is. Would you like to follow me…"
Sara turned and walked elegantly down a small corridor before reaching a room at the end. Piper followed gradually behind her and entered the room. It was a modern room of average size; the walls were a clean magnolia colour. There wasn't much in the room just a few leather chairs and a coffee table between them and a few quotes were painted on the walls. One said 'Difficult roads often lead to the most beautiful destinations' Piper thought to herself how much she hoped that quote was true, after all she found herself currently on a difficult road with no real destination in sight.
"Would you like to take a seat Piper and can I get you anything to drink? Coffee?"
"Ermmmm thank you but could I please just get a water," Piper slowly sat down and felt her nerves strike again, she suddenly felt very vulnerable.
"Sure, no problem." Sara walked to the corner of the room and poured a water and set it down on the table in front of Piper.
As Sara sat down opposite Piper there seemed to be a nervous energy in the room. After a few moments of silence Piper began to fidget with the corner of her top, she was playing with the end of the material between her thumb and a finger. Sara noticed how nervous Piper seemed to be and took the lead of the conversation.
"So, Piper today is just an introductory session. We will take everything at your pace. Why don't you start by telling me a little about yourself? Where do you work for instance?" Sara smiled as she asked the question and Piper couldn't help notice how perfect her teeth seemed to be. She looked towards Sara and answered the question very robotically and lacking any real emotion. "I have my own business, I make bath products, soap and such."
"That's such a creative job… have you always been creative?" Sara replied trying to delve deeper into the conversation.
Piper was still very nervous and very defensive. "Hmmmm not really it wasn't originally my idea, it was a... friend." Piper again tried to remain robotic and monotone with her answer but Sara sensed a slight hesitation and a note of sarcasm on the word friend.
"oh, so you and your friend run the business together?" She probed wanting Piper to expand a little further with her answers.
"Not quite." Piper replied nonchalantly.
"So you run the business by yourself?" Piper nodded in response to the question. "Wow that's something to be proud of, to have your own business up and running at such a young age?"
"I guess it is. I do okay. Doesn't leave much time for a personal life though. Mostly it is just work, work and more work," Piper felt some sense of achievement, she was successful with her work life it was just a shame her personal life was a mess. She hadn't intended to give so much information away with her previous answer but her sense of achievement over her business and made her open slightly towards Sara.
"So, tell me a bit about your personal life then, are you married?" Sara enquired.
This question made Piper close right back up. "No, not married. Almost was but that kind of didn't work out."
After a few more questions and Piper revealing very little information about her personal life, which is completely normal for a first session in therapy Sara decided to call the session to a close.
"Well I think that was a good start as an introductory session, don't you?" Sara asked.
"It just feels kind of alien to me right now after my previous experience in a situation like this, but I would like to make another appointment for next week maybe? If that's okay?" Pipers' nerves had risen again and she wasn't feeling so sure of herself.
"Same time next week is fine. I will see you in a week." Sara smiled and stood to her feet to escort Piper out the door. She smiled warmly before bidding her farewell.
Piper walked out the building and headed towards work. She felt strange in a way. Her first session hadn't really helped with anything but at the same time she felt as though she had made a small step of progress by going to the appointment in the first place. It was like the first step to recovery. As she approached work she knew the girls would already be busy and that Taystee would have taken charge in her absence. She didn't have too much to do at the office today just ensure that targets were being met to complete orders. As she approached the office door someone called her name from across the street…
"Yo Chapman I'm out!"
Piper turned around to be greeted by a wild bush of frizzy hair.
