The Grim EDventures of Team Mar

Chapter 8: Why the Caged Carrie Thinks Not.

Or Terror of the Boogey Man!

After yesterday's zombie attack, the gang has recuperated and everything is seemingly back to normal (if you consider living with the Grim Reaper in a castle owned by a neat-freak vampire in a parallel world normal!). But, this chapter doesn't begin with the Eds, Grim, Carrie, or any of the former members of Team Mar. This story begins with the Kanker sisters, who are sitting in their trailer. Lee is sitting on the couch watching an old Japanese black and white movie about a giant three-headed dragon that seems to be shooting lightning bolts. Marie plops down on the couch and kicks Lee.

"Watch it Marie!" The red-headed Kanker warns.

"Oh, shut you piehole!"

May walks into the room holding popcorn and a 2-liter bottle of cola. "Hey! I was sittin' there!"

"Oh, boo-hoo! I made the baby cry!" Marie and Lee laugh. May dumps her popcorn on Marie and puts the bowl over her head. Lee laughs but is silenced when May shakes the cola up and makes it spew all over her. Suddenly a huge fight breaks out between the Kankers, and they tear the living room apart. They're stopped when a photo of three terrified Ed-boys falls off a shelf and shatters. May picks up the remnants of the photograph and her eyes water up. She then looks at herself in the mirror.

"Look what you did to me! I got all dressed up so I could go see Ed, and you made me ugly!" May starts crying.

"Ed wouldn't have noticed you anyway, now that he has that Carrie girl hanging around him," Lee says.

"Yeah, May, no offense, but you don't stand a chance against her," Marie says. May's eyes burn with anger.

"I'll show her! Who does she think she is? We shouldn't have been so nice to her at the fair!"

"Yeah, even though I'll never forget the look on her face when we dunked her head in the nacho cheese!" Marie pulls out her cell phone and shows Lee a picture of Carrie sitting at a table, her eyes wide with disbelief and her face covered in cheese. May tries to wash the ketchup, popcorn, and soda off her face, but she just throws herself on the ground.

"Oh, who am I kidding? I'll never make myself look good enough to make Ed forget Carrie!!!!"

"Yeah, but who needs looks when you got us?" Lee says. "We just need to scare her a little more…" Just then, a figure pops up out of the ground. He has a bluish-gray face, a big nose, and pointed ears.

"Did I hear someone say 'scare'?" He says.

"Who the heck are you?" Lee asks in a demanding voice.

"I am the Boogey Man!" The figure wiggles his fingers, trying to make him look scary. "I heard you saying that you were planning to scare a girl named Carrie, who just so happens to be a friend of my arch-enemy: the Grim Reaper, and I would like to offer our services."

"Let's see what you've got," Marie says, folding her arms across her chest. Boogey's face turns red, his pupils dilate, and his snake turns into a large snake. His head then starts spinning around and he spews tarantulas from his mouth.

"So, what do you think?" The Kankers are asleep, but they immediately wake up.

"Pathetic!" All of them yell at him.

"You, my friend, need help. Me and my sisters will agree to tutor you in being scary. As a matter of fact, we were just going to get her…"

In the town where the other Peach Creek kids are staying, the Eds and Carrie are fixing up their old lemonade stand, only they've replaced the sign with one that reads, "OREO'S FOR BREAKFAST" Double D is painting "THE START OF A VERY COOL DAY!" on the bottom front of the wooden box the sign is attached to. Ed and Carrie are do-si-do-ing around in circles chanting, "Oreo's for breakfast! Oreo's for breakfast!"

"Eddy, why did you let Carrie come up with a scam? I thought only you were allowed to come up with scams?"

"Umm….I just thought…." Eddy stammers.

"Oh, I get it! You're just trying to steal Carrie from Ed again!"

Kevin walks by the stand, looks at the sign, and says, "Oreos? For breakfast!?"

"THIS COULD BE THE START OF A VERY COOL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ed and Carrie scream at him in unison.

"Dorks," Kevin says and he walks away.

"George Washington, he didn't want any Oreos for breakfast… I thought you said my idea was good!" Carrie says. Eddy begins sweating heavily.

"Umm….uh….maybe Johnny likes eating Oreos for breakfast."

"Eddy, this scam is destined to fail! No one in their right mind would ever eat Oreos for breakfast!"

"Oh, yeah, Half-wit Ed-boy would!" Eddy snaps.

"Who's that?" Double D asks.

"Beats the heck outta me!" Eddy says, shrugging his shoulders.

"Maybe we should try selling faol krop…" Ed says. Suddenly, Marie and Lee jump out of a nearby bush and pounce on Carrie. After what seems like a fierce struggle, they tie Carrie's wrists and ankles to a large, wooden pole, prop the ends on their shoulders, and walk triumphantly back into the woods, looking like British hunters who had just killed a tiger in the jungles of India.

"Well, guys, it looks like I'm leaving. A lesson in life I am sure to get. I have definitely seen better days!" Carrie says as she's being carried away like some hunting trophy. Lee and Marie laugh evilly.

"Ed-d-d-y," Double D stutters.

Ed puts his hands on his face and starts running around in circles, "THE KANKERS GOT CARRIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Eddy is too scared to even move at first, but then his brain hatches an idea.

"Hey, if I rescued Carrie, then she'd dump Ed and come to me!" Eddy whispers. "I'll save Carrie!" Eddy runs towards the woods after the Kankers, but Double D grabs him.

"Wait, Eddy! You can't take on those troublemakers all by yourself. We should go get some help."

"The only people who aren't too busy to help us either won't help us or turn out to be Grim or Dorothy, and I don't want her tagging along!"

"Well, she's probably still asleep, so we'll get Grim and some others to help."

"Okay, but if Carrie asks, it was all my idea!" Double D frowns. The Eds go to the castle where Grim is sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Numbah 2, phone for help while I take Numbah 4 and Numbah 5 to the tree house to get some more mustard to squirt at Old Man Jenkins!"

"Dis show is so stupid! Those stupid kids can't even say 'number' right!" Grim complains. The Eds burst through the door.

"MR. BEAN!!!! MR. BEAN!!!!!! WE WERE SCAMMING THE KIDS BY MAKING THEM BUY OREOS FOR BREAKFAST, AND THERE WAS THIS GIANT ROBOT, AND THEN THE SPACE WIBBLES ATTACKED US, BUT WE BEAT THEM UP! BUT WORST OF ALL THE KANKERS STOLE CARRIE!!!!!!!!!!!" Ed catches his breath.

"What are you talking about, you simpleton?"

"Carrie was purged by the Kankers right before our eyes! They tied her up like some freshly killed game animal and ran off with her!"

"I'm not having anything to do wit those delinquents! De last time, they locked me up in da pantry and tied me up!"

"Oh, you're helping us, whether you want to or not!" Eddy snaps. "You're under contract!" Grim frowns.

"Oh, I hate you three so much!" Ginta and Nanashi walk into the room. Nanashi has a red handprint on his face.

"Hey, what's going on?" Ginta asks.

"We're going on a rescue mission to rescue Carrie from the Kankers!" Ed answers.

"I remember them. They picked on me the day I first went to that Peach Creek school with you guys."

"Maybe you should get Dorothy-chan to help," Nanashi says. "She just woke up." He points to his face to confirm what he just said.

"No thanks! I spent enough time with her yesterday!" Eddy says with disgust.

"We could always get May to help." Double D suggests.

"I'm not getting beat up by her again!"

"Well, you did deserve it, Eddy!"

"We could get Carrie to help!" Ed says. Everyone stares at him. "What? I just thought that I'd assume Carrie's role until we got her back!" Suddenly, there's a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Ginta says. He runs to the door, opens it, and standing there is Dracula.

"Hey, Otaku Boy! Dracula was in the neighborhood and just thought he might stop by." Dracula steps inside. "Nice place. And there's Short Kid, Sock Kid, Stinky, Skeleton Man, and Perv Man!"

"No, you're talking about Jack!" Nanashi says, a vein bulging on his forehead.

"Are you questioning Dracula!? Dracula's always right! Dracula gonna put Nanashi in his place!!!"

"Hey, I know! We could get Dracula to help!"

"When Dracula wasn't old, Dracula used to change into a bat and mow the lawn. Dracula's wife didn't like it so much, so she hit Dracula with a baseball bat!" Everyone stares at Dracula. "What? Quit starin' at Dracula! Dracula didn't say for anyone to stare at him!"

"How's it going, Dracula?" Grim asks.

"Dracula needs to use the bathroom." Dracula runs upstairs.

Nanashi smiles and asks, "Do you think I should've told him that Dorothy's in there?"

Eddy smiles too and answers,"Nope!"

In the bathroom, Dorothy is standing at the mirror brushing her hair. She hears a pounding at the door and a vein on her forehead bulges.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone, Nanashi!"

"Is that you, Witch Girl? Hurry up! Dracula just ate five helpings of the Early Bird Special at Pop's Diner, and Dracula really needs in the bathroom!"

"What's he doing here?" Dorothy asks.

"Dracula can't wait around all day! Dracula's coming in!"

"Oh, no you're not! At least not until my hair's done!" Suddenly, the castle is filled with the sound of Dorothy and Dracula yelling and fighting with each other. Suddenly, Dracula falls down the stairs, a red shoe-shaped mark on his face.

"Ugh…Dracula don't feel so good…" Dorothy walks downstairs, her hair only half plaited.

"Um, Dracula, are you okay?" Double D asks.

"No! Dracula's not okay! Witch Girl just kicked Dracula in the face and Dracula still needs to use the bathroom!"

"What is everyone standing around in here for?" Dorothy asks, forgetting about her anger towards the old vampire.

"Carrie was captured by the Kanker sisters!" Dorothy's face turns red and a vein on her forehead, dimple, and cheek bulge up.

"Ha! Ha! She's gonna blow up!" Eddy laughs.

"Well, why are we standing around here for? Let's go!" Dorothy says, calming down a little. Eddy frowns.

"Wonderful! I can't believe the It is going!"

"Yes, I'm going, you little frog-faced freak!" Dorothy puts her arms around Double D's neck. "Someone has to protect my poor, defenseless Double D." Eddy makes fake gagging noises.

"What about you two?" Eddy says.

"Well…" Ginta's interrupted by his stomach growling. "It's lunch time, so I'll just stay here."

"I think I'll sit this one out and spend a little quality time with May…" Nanashi wanders up stairs and goes in May's room. May screams something at him angrily, then Nanashi screams in pain, and he walks out with his head shrunken.

"Oh…kay!? So are we all ready?" Grim asks.

The group hears a flushing noise and Dracula yells, "Dracula's ready! Dracula just needs some toilet paper!"

Back at the Kanker's trailer, Carrie is tied to a big post.

"Let's see if you can scare this girl, Boogey." Lee says.

Boogey's teeth grow large and his tongue transforms into a snake. He lets out a terrible roar right in Carrie's face.

Carrie smiles and says, "You need a breath mint, mister funny-face!"

"My face isn't funny! It's supposed to be scary!"

Marie puts her hand over her face in disgust. "No, no! First, you have to find out what the person is afraid of."

"I know what scares her!" May Kanker says evilly. She pulls out a Bart Simpson mask.

"Yay! It's Bart Simpson! He's funny!"

"No, May! She's afraid of Homer!" Lee pulls three Homer Simpson masks out of her pocket and the Kankers put them on. Carrie screams in horror. Boogey pulls out a pen and paper and takes notes.

Minutes later, the Eds, Grim, Dorothy, and Dracula arrive. They hide behind the bush and watch as the Kankers pour dish soap on Carrie's head. Her skin suddenly turns red.

"ITCHY!!!!!!!!" Carrie screams. The Kankers laugh.

"Oh, no, Carrie's allergic to soap!" Ed says.

"What are you three doing? You're supposed to be scaring her, not torturing her!" Boogey says.

"Torture is fear in itself." Marie pulls out a chocolate bar. "I bet you're really hungry, Carrie. How about a snack?" She waves the candy in front of Carrie's face.

"Yes, Carrie is very hungry!" Carrie says hypnotically, drooling all over her shirt.

"Too bad!" Marie squashes the chocolate bar on her forehead. The chocolate mixes with the soap and oozes down Carrie's face, just out of reach of her tongue.

"Poor Carrie," Dorothy says with sympathy in her voice.

"Dracula remembers those three. Made Dracula think the buffet at Ryan's was free."

"And dat ugly guy wit them is Boogey. He's been my rival since grade school and he'll do anyting to out-scare me." Eddy cowers in fear when he sees Boogey. "Don't tell me you're scared of him, Eddy!"

"Um, no! What made you say that?"

"You wet your pants when you looked at him."

"So, how are we gonna rescue Carrie?"

"Dracula's got this under control!" Dracula fixes his shirt and walks out of the bush. "Hey, ladies, wanna see Dracula dance?" Dracula starts dancing.

"Hey, that old guy's got some moves!"

"Yeah! Look at that!" May says. Boogey and the Kankers gather around to watch Dracula dance. Dorothy and Grim sneak around and hide behind the pole Carrie's tied to. Her skin is covered in pen marks that read "ED+MAY" and "KEEP AWAY FROM ED!!!!!"

"Dorothy! Darth Sidious! What are you doing here?"

"We come to save you, Carrie." Dorothy says. She activates her Ring Dagger quietly and begins cutting away at the ropes. "Stay still."

"HOORAY!!!!!!" Carrie cheers. Dorothy and Grim put their hands over her mouth and shush her at the same time. Grim notices that his hand is on Dorothy's and he blushes with embarrassment. Dorothy growls at him.

"We can't cut you loose if you don't keep quiet, child!"

"I have an idea. I'll distract them and you can go get help."

"We are the help, Carrie!" Dorothy says while straining to cut the ropes.

"And when you come back with help, bring me a pizza!" Carrie's voice is so loud that Dorothy and Grim hide behind the pole.

"What's she blabbing about back there?" Lee asks.

"Probably about what's going on in that pretty little head of hers: NOTHING!!!!" The Kankers turn back around and Dorothy and Grim begin working on the ropes again.

"Keep quiet or else I'll hurt you!" Grim says, quite irritated.

"Okay, I'll sing a silly song a song and while they're distracted, you guys can go get some help!"

"For the last time, Carrie, we're trying to help you!!!"

But Carrie doesn't listen. She takes in a deep breath and sings, "ZIPPITY DO DAH!!!!! ZIPPITY AY, MY LASAGNA HAS A HEAD OF GRAVY!!!!!!!!!" The Kankers and Boogey turn around and see Dorothy and Grim attempting to cut Carrie free.

"Well, if it isn't my old pal Grim!" Boogey says sarcastically. Marie and Dorothy stare at each other fiercely.

"Well, I see dat you're not scared of your own shadow anymore after our last meeting." Grim says. Eddy, Ed, and Double D sneak around while Boogey and the Kankers are distracted.

"We were just teaching our new friend here how to scare people, and having a little fun with Carrie while we were at it!"

"I'll handle Boogey! I don't want anyting to do wit those juvenile delinquents."

"I'll take on that boyfriend-stealer!" Marie says.

"Beat her with this!" May says, giving Marie a toilet scrubber.

"You're going to beat me with that???" Dorothy bursts out laughing, chokes a little, and says, "This is too easy!"

"Take dis, Boogey!" Grim uses his scythe to summon a swarm of supernatural bees and they sting Boogey, making him swell up to an enormous size. Grim then moves in with his scythe.

"Allow me!" Dorothy uses her broom to create a powerful tornado that picks up Boogey, the Kankers, and their trailer. Grim looks up at them.

"Dis reminds me of a scene in a certain movie. I can't recall which one it is though…"

The tornado carries them far away and sets them down in the middle of a desert.

"This is your fault, Marie!" May say.

"Shut up, May!" Lee growls.

"Not bad Dorothy!" Grim says.

"Thanks, but you're a bonehead!"

"I-I am not!!!!"

Behind them the Eds are sitting on the ground feeding Carrie, who has missed most of her meals from being tied up all day. Double D is washing her arms with a wet sponge.

"You better hope your skin didn't absorb the ink from those pens, Carrie. From the looks of them, they weren't non-toxic."

"You mean you didn't miss me even just a little bit, Dan Kubat?"

"Yes, Carrie, I missed you. Now let's get the back of your calf."

"Watch my Band-aid, Danny." Double D looks on the back of Carrie's leg and there's a large Band-aid on it.

"Oh, my, did-did those troublemakers hurt you!?"

"They better not have!" Dorothy says threateningly. "I'll kill them if they did!"

"Nope, I did that when I fell down the stairs next year!"

"Um, Carrie, that didn't make any sense."

"Let me look at it…" Eddy says, grinning. Dorothy growls at him and slaps him in the face.

"Are you being fresh with my friend!?" Eddy groans in pain. Double D takes the bandage off and stuck to the back of Carrie's leg is an Oreo cookie.

"Hey, Carrie used my idea of using Band-aids to store your food!" Ed pulls his shirt off and reveals many bandages on his back. He removes them and under them are hams, bacon, cheese, a fish, and an orange. Carrie and Ed eat them.

"That's so unsanitary!" Double D says in disgust. Carrie and Ed just laugh.

Back in the desert…

"So, it's settled. I'll stay with you three and help you take out Dorothy and Carrie and you'll teach me to be scary so I can take Grim's job."

"Yup, but you also have to do whatever you say!"

"It'll be worth it to outdo that dumb skeleton! Excuse me ladies. I have to make a call." Boogey takes out a phone designed in a likeness of himself. "Hello, I need you to help me with something. Yes, you'll have a grand time! A very grand time indeed!!!" Boogey laughs evilly.

Uh, oh! This combination could be trouble! Who did Boogey call? (If you said the Ghostbusters, then you need to stop hanging around Ed and Carrie!) Is Grim really a bonehead? AND WILL CARRIE EVER STOP ACTING LIKE, um, CARRIE!!!???

All I can say is, "Stay glued to your computer screen!" (not really)