Title: Introductory Teaching Practicum
Prompt: mustbethursday3, The Study Group has to teach a few classes as part of 'Teaching 101' (a class that none of them remember signing up for). They're surprisingly good at it.
Rating: G
Word Count: 854
A/N: I just didn't find it feasible to make this prompt approx. 300 words, sigh.
"Did you see this e-mail? I mean, aren't we students? Did I miss that? Shiiiiit, is this teacher's college?" Annie huffed at Troy and pulled the printed e-mail from his hand.
"Troy, of course Abed saw it, he's the one that brought the printed it out for everyone else. Let's just... Figure this out, okay?" They entered the study room and found everyone else already seated.
"Oh look, Wakko, Yakko and Dot finally decided to show!" Jeff's bright smile dimmed when he saw Annie scowl. "What's up with you?"
"Apparently, someone, I don't know who, signed us up for a class where we all have to teach a one-week intensive course? Ugh! I'm already tutoring four students, I don't have time to design a curriculum that's well-rounded and interesting and-" Annie was unceremoniously cut off by the group breaking into noisy discussion.
"All of you, quiet!" Shirley's authoritative voice cut through the arguments filling the air. "Who signed us up?" One by one, they each denied it. Abed had pulled up the online course calendar on his laptop and appeared to be examining the page carefully.
"It says here that it's past the drop date. We're stuck." It was unanimous – fourth year was off to a rocky start.
WEEK ONE
"Hi, my name is Britta. I'll be teaching you the about the anarchist philosophy and why it's a much better way for society to function. We'll start with the basics. The government is corrupt and needs to be abolished! It abducts and tortures American citizens and people all over the world without just cause and it only leads to further harm!"
A hand rose.
"Yes?"
"What would you consider to be a just cause?"
"What?"
"You said that the government abducts and tortures people without a just cause. What's a cause that would justify the abduction and torture of people?"
"Shut up, Jeff."
WEEK TWO
"I'm Troy, Troy Barnes. I used to be the star football player at Riverside High. And I'll be teaching you about the game this week. I've found the best way to learn is by doing something. So I hope everyone brought their gear like I asked in the e-mail 'cause we're heading to the field!"
WEEK THREE
"My name is Pierce Hawthorne. I'm a former child actor, former CEO of Hawthorne Industries of the moist towelette industry and very rich. I'm also very successful speaker and entrepreneur. I'll be talking to you about how to succeed in business without really trying." A man entered the room immediately after Pierce finished his sentence, held up a piece of paper, and stood silently. "Well, it appears the name of my course and the website I started to advertise it are currently being sued for copyright infringement..."
WEEK FOUR
"I'm Abed. I'm supposed to be teaching you about acting and how movies are made. I decided I would make this into a behind-the-scenes documentary about being behind the scenes. It's all very meta. My assistant director, Mr. Barnes, will be handing out your roles. No take backs."
WEEK FIVE
"My name is Annie Edison. You can call me Annie. I'll be teaching you about study habits and scholastic excellence – what it is, how to achieve it, and how to avoid taking drugs in order to better your academic performance. If you take a look at the course outlines I handed out, you'll find a detailed list of readings and resources that you're welcome to peruse at your own leisure. The mandatory texts are marked at the top with a little asterisk! We'll start out simple today – please write down how you like to study on a blank sheet of paper. Make sure to include how much light you like to have, snacks, breaks, music, anything you can think of, okay? I'll give you the next ten minutes and then we'll come back together and discuss." Annie smiled brightly and stood at the front of the room, watching, as students around the room shrugged and began writing.
"Uh, miss? I forgot my pen. I usually sit beside this girl, who always has an extra for me, but-"
"Mr. Winger!"
WEEK SIX
"Hey. So I'm supposed to teach you how to navigate the complicated legal system. But that would mean me doing work. And I don't really enjoy that idea. So I'm going to give you two pieces of advice and then we'll call it a day, okay?" Enthusiastic nods abounded, except for, you know, Annie. "Don't get caught. And if you get caught, don't use Legal Aid. Those guys suck."
WEEK SEVEN
"My name is Shirley Bennett. I have been a mother for 14 years. It is not my only role. But it is the one that I consider most important to me. So I'm here to teach you all some basic parenting skills. I'm not asking that you take this class seriously but I expect you to respect me and your peers. And if you're willing, I'd like to share what I've learned in 14 years of being a mother, okay?"
Upon graduation, it was no surprise that Shirley was offered a teaching position.
