I know that it's been a long time since I updated any of my stories but hopefully that will change soon. Hope you enjoy. Smut warning! Standard disclaimer applies.
Jaspers POV:
"Please, don't let me go back to that."
The absolute terror I felt pouring off of Bella when she admitted that nearly broke my heart. I knew what Edward had done to get her to let him leave but until now I hadn't grasped exactly how deeply it had affected her.
I pushed my seat back as far as I could and pushed the steering wheel up.
"C'mere, Darlin." I whispered to her, gently tugging her over until I was leaning up against the door with my legs stretched out across the bench seat with her sitting curled up on my lap. "Will you tell me about it?" I asked. I didn't need to specify what I was talking about.
"It wasn't a good time." She whispered to me. "I kind of turned into a zombie; a shell of myself. It felt like my entire reason for existing suddenly ceased to exist and I had been left behind. I didn't know how to cope with the pain. I barely spoke for months and my dad had to practically force feed me. There were several times when I had to be hospitalized because I was malnourished. I had to be tube fed and my parents spent a long time debating weather or not to put me on anti-depressants. They were afraid that it would only cause more issues."
She paused for unneeded breath and to steady the slight tremble I heard in her voice. I ran my hand up and down her back comfortingly and waited.
"I lost touch with all of my friends, sitting alone at your old table in the cafeteria. When my dad told me he was sending me to Jacksonville I knew that I couldn't let that happen. I knew that if I left I never had any chance of seeing Edward again. I would lose even the faint, painful memories I had of him. I went to the movies with an old friend and when it was over I pretty much jumped on the back of a random guys motorcycle."
I tensed when I heard her say that.
"I saw him." She added after that. "Like a hallucination, I saw him. He was there, telling me that I shouldn't do it, that I should get off the bike and go home. When I got home I rationalized doing stupid, reckless, life threatening things. I told myself that it would all be okay if I could keep seeing him. I jumped off a cliff in La Push when the Volturi thing happened."
"Oh, Bella." I whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
"I realized something." She said. "Something about my relationship with him and now my relationship with you."
"What's that?" I asked her.
"I couldn't live without him." She said.
"How does that relate to our relationship?" I asked when she stopped talking.
"I can live without you." She said and everything inside me tightened until she continued. "But I don't want to. I don't want to live without you ever."
"Good." I growled as I hugged her close to me as tight as I could without hurting her. "'Cause I'm not going anywhere without you. I will never leave you, Bella."
"I wouldn't let you." She said, with her head on my shoulder and her nose buried against my throat. "I would just follow you."
"Are you ready to go home, Darlin'?" I asked her and she nodded but didn't move from my lap. I chuckled as I shifted so that I could drive and keep her on my lap at the same time. I drove the speed limit, enjoying just holding her in my arms.
The house was silent when I pulled into the drive way and the two of us walked hand in hand into the house and up the stairs, into our room. I felt the playful edge on her emotions just before she tackled me onto the mattress and I rolled on top of her.
She was looking up at me when I lowered my lips slowly to hers and kissed her. I took it slow, building up a low hum of pleasure inside her until her nails were starting to bite into my biceps. I spent a long time tasting her mouth, the spectacular flavor of her upper lip and then her tongue.
When she started getting restless I kiss a long, wet path down her jaw, to her throat and collar bone where I found the top button of her blouse. One by one I unbuttoned the blouse before helping her sit up so I could pull it, and the t-shirt underneath it, off. I stared for a few moments at the enchanting sight of her luscious breasts straining against a silky black bra. I traced my finger over the tops of the cups and smiled when she shivered.
"You are so beautiful, Bella." I whispered in her ear. I knew that she didn't have the highest self esteem when she had been human and she still hadn't exactly gotten over that yet. She still felt a bit self conscious about herself. Hopefully I would be able to prove that to me she was the most beautiful person on the planet. In my head I planned a session for us that would help her become more self confident.
"Jasper…" She whimpered arching her body up closer to my hand.
"Patience, Bella." I told her, teasingly. "I'm going to make love to you, and I want you to enjoy every single moment of it."
She nodded slowly and I kissed my way down the center of her chest and the smooth skin of her stomach. She groaned when I pressed kisses down her left thigh, then down her leg to her ankle. She was wearing a pair of high heels that probably would have killed her while she was human. I took off both of the heels and then kissed my way up her right leg. When I got to the skirt I held the fabric with my hand and locked eyes with her before taking the zipper between my teeth and slowly pulling it down.
She was breathing hard now, her chest rising and falling with her every breath. She had propped herself up on her elbows to watch exactly what I was doing to her. I looked up at her as I slowly tugged the skirt down her thighs. Her eyes were almost black and I could feel the lust pouring off of her. I drew it into myself like a man dying of thirst and she was my waterfall. Her lips were damp and parted to compensate for her rapid breathing.
" Spread your thighs for me, Bella." I said nudging her thigh with my nose. I could smell her arousal, just barely, on the air. She did as I told her to without any hesitation, telling me how turned on she was, as if I couldn't tell from the lust and anticipation rolling off her like tidal waves.
I stared at her pussy as it was bared to me, inhaling deeply at the musky scent of her. The soft, bare lips between her legs were flushed pink, swollen and shiny with her cream. It looked like a rose, and as her legs spread wider it seemed as if the rose was blooming, revealing the tiny swollen bud in the center.
"Jasper, please…" Bella whimpered as I continued to stare and I glanced up at her a second before taking a long lick from bottom to top. Her entire body jerked as she fell back on the bed with her head on the pillow. She didn't scream, but her mouth opened and it looked as if she was trying to scream but couldn't. I licked her again, this time holding her hips to keep her still before I shifted, weighting her down with my forearm across her hips so I could use my thumbs to spread her pussy open for me and I licked at the thick cream that flowed from her.
One of her hands tangled in her hair, holding my head in place as she rocked her hips up to my mouth. I continued licking her, adding a quick suck to her juicy little clitoris every few moments.
"Oh, God…" She moaned. "Jasper…Jasper… I'm gonna… uggghhhhh… I think I'm gonna….come…. Jasper…"
"No you won't." I said confidently. I could feel that she was close but she wouldn't be able to come until I was inside her. I'd make sure of it. Later, I'd make her come with my mouth but right now I wanted to be deep inside her and staring into her beautiful eyes when she came. I took one last lick before climbing off the bed and pulling off all of my clothes before crawling up her spectacular body. I made sure that her thighs were wrapped tightly around my hips, and the tip of my cock was pressed right against her slick entrance. I struggled to not thrust inside her right then.
When we were both at eye level her hands tangled in my hair and pulled my mouth down to hers. Most females did not like to taste themselves but Bella moaned when she sucked on my lower lip.
"Jasper…" She moaned as I brought up one arm to brace myself above her. My other hand lifted to her breasts and I tweaked her nipple, enjoying her little squeak of pleasure. I switched to her other nipple, bringing my mouth to the one I had just abandoned to lick and suck at gently. Between the arousal she was feeling, the sounds she was making, and the hot wet cream now coating the tip of my rock hard erection I was about to lose my mind.
"I can't wait anymore, Bella." I groaned, once again bringing my lips to hers as I rocked my hips forward just enough to barely push inside her. "I love you."
I grabbed her hip and pulled her towards me at the same time I pushed deeper into her. I groaned at the sensations of sinking into her. It was too good to describe. I rested my forehead on hers when I was in her as deep as I could get.
Slowly I pulled out until I was barely inside her before snapping my hips and embedding myself inside her. I kept that pace, slow out, then hard and fast in. I could tell by the sounds she was making that she was loving it, and it wasn't long before I pushed us both over the precipice together. She was not the only one that screamed her pleasure for everyone and anyone to hear.
