"Remus, we need your help!" said James, skidding into the hall five minutes later. Remus, who was sitting with Peter, ignored James and stabbed a potato with particular fierceness. "Moony–"
"No! Don't 'Moony' me," snapped Remus.
"Yeah, please don't," said Sirius. "No one wants to see that."
"I'm a prefect now, James, if you haven't noticed," said Remus, ignoring Sirius.
"I did notice, and I'm sorry, Moony. You can give me as many detentions as you want, I swear," James pleaded with Remus.
"You are such an –"
"Arrogant prat, I know," sighed James. "I'm really, really sorry Remus. Next time we're in Honeydukes I'll buy you any kind of chocolate you want."
Remus thought it over for a minute. "Fine," he said. "But if what you're planning is a prank on a Slytherin, a certain Slytherin in particular, then I'm out."
"Remus!" Sirius pleaded.
"Oh, what's the plan?" squeaked Peter.
"No, I don't want to know," said Remus.
"Remus, do you honestly like the fact that Lily is friends with Snape?"
"Well, I'm sure he's a nice…" Remus looked strained as he struggled for something to say. "Who am I kidding, of course I don't like it. Have you seen the lot he hangs out with? They'd be the first to join in with Voldemort."
"Exactly," said Sirius. "So we'd really be doing her a favour in showing her how much of a fool he is."
Remus thought for a minute. "No. I'm sorry guys, but I can't. Lily is my friend, and I'm sick of getting put on her bad side because of you two." Even as Remus said it, they could tell that he would be upset if he was left out of this prank.
"How about we don't tell you the details, and you help while in the dark?" suggested James.
"Both literally and figuratively," added Sirius.
"Deal."
That night at midnight, with Remus blindfolded, and James, Sirius, and Peter jammed under James's Invisibility Cloak – being a prefect, Remus could say that he was out patrolling if they were caught; of course, he would look rather ridiculous seeing as he was blindfolded – the Marauders made their way down to the Great Hall. They were lucky, as they did not meet a single person, alive or dead, on their way, and the Great Hall was completely deserted.
Once inside, James pulled the cloak off and tossed it on the Ravenclaw table. Sirius, who had been carrying a tub of something, placed it on the Slytherin table. As he had explained to James and Peter while Remus was in the other room, the prank that they would be performing is one that he picked up off a Muggle sitcom he had seen once at the Potter's house – the Potters owned a Muggle television because they thought it was a funny contraption; the closest thing that Muggles could get to moving portraits. In the tub was a great amount of clear-drying superglue, which Sirius had enchanted so that it didn't dry until a few seconds after it made contact with an object.
He pulled four painting brushes out of his pocket, which they had nicked from Filch's broom closet, and handed one to each of his fellow Marauders. "To the first real prank of the year, boys!" he said, holding up his brush to knock against the others in a short of cheers; they had to guide Remus's brush to knock against theirs. "Let's get started."
James guided Remus's brush so that it dipped in the glue, and then directed it over to one section of the bench. "Just keep painting along here," James said, before dipping his own brush in the glue and going to work on his own section. The project went rather smoothly, with only one issue of Peter deciding it would be a good idea to sit down and rest. It took them a whole 3 minutes to detach Peter from the bench, and there was still a great hole in the bottom of his trousers.
"What happened?" asked Remus when he heard the commotion.
"Just a preview for tomorrow," sniggered James, magically removing the torn fabric from the bench and repainting over the spot with fresh, wet glue.
It didn't take long until the entirety of the Slytherin benches were covered in the invisible glue. Laughing quietly, they grabbed the glue and the brushes, threw the cloak over themselves, grabbed Remus by the arm, and went to dump the evidence in Filch's broom closet across the hall. They made it swiftly back up to their dormitory without Benji ever realizing that they hadn't yet come up for bed, as he was fast asleep when they entered.
"I can't wait to see what we did," said Remus, laughing.
"You will be entertained, indeed, Moony my friend," said James yawning and climbing into bed.
"I better look shocked. And you guys had better, too, or else Lily – "
"Oh, please," said Peter, "Who are we kidding? There's no way that she isn't going to know that it was us. Or at least Sirius and James."
Peter whined as three pillows soared his way.
"Morning," said Lily when she reached the Gryffindor table. "You lot look excited," she said, noting the expressions on Sirius's, James's, and Peter's faces – Remus had worked all morning on keeping his face calm. "Why?" she asked suspiciously.
"We have the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher today," said Peter smoothly. The other Marauders looked at him in shocked pride for being able to think so quickly.
"That's right!" said Emmeline, who had just joined them, as she pulled out her schedule. "I wonder how that will go."
At ten to nine, the bell rang, signaling that everyone should head to their first class. Along with the usual chatter came the loud sounds of ripping fabric as everyone from the Slytherin table got up to leave. The Great Hall erupted with laughter as the undergarments of every Slytherin was now being shown to the entirety of the school. Even Lily let out a snort of laughter, before seeing Severus among the group of angry Slytherins and rounding on James and Sirius.
"Give me one reason why I should not go report you to McGonagall?" demanded Lily.
But neither Sirius nor James got a chance to answer, as at that moment, Severus had appeared at the Gryffindor table, wand pointing straight at James's head.
"Give me a reason, Potter," he snarled, "not to curse your head off."
"Nice undies, Snivelly," Sirius taunted, causing Severus to round on him.
"That's enough!" Professor McGonagall had just marched down from the staff table to put a stop to the commotion. "Potter, Black, Snape, detention! I'll see you in my office tonight!"
"First detention of the year," James grinned, as Severus stormed away without another word, not even to Lily. "It's kind of sentimental, isn't it?"
"You two are never going to grow up!" Lily shouted, before turning on her heel and storming out of the hall.
"Seriously?" said Sirius, staring after Lily. "Didn't she see the irrational way that he reacted? He was ready to kill us over a bit of glue!"
"Well, at least she didn't yell at Moony this time," said James gloomily.
Lily made sure that she was seated between Emmeline and Alice for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Mary Macdonald, their roommate, came to sit with them too, so Lily was sufficiently surrounded when the Marauders came in, giving none of them a chance to talk to her. While the girls around her chatted happily before the start of class, it seemed that they could sense her bad mood, because they did not urge her to join in the conversation, and instead they let her sit silently, glaring at the blackboard and clutching the sides of her desk.
"Good afternoon, class. My name is Professor Hobday," he had a surprisingly kind voice for a man who looked so stern. "Please take out your quills and parchment, unfortunately, today's class will simply be an overview of what to expect in this course, as well as some notes on the theory of shield spells."
It was slightly boring, but still a relatively good class. Anything was better than the joke of a professor they had the previous year. "It was all right," Remus said – Lily had opted that it would be okay to talk to Remus after class, as he did look genuinely shocked at the prank that had occurred that morning. "But if I were a teacher, I'd want to open with a practical lesson. You know, something to get the students really involved and engaged, so that they'll want to come back for the next one."
"I think you'd make a good teacher," remarked Lily.
"Yeah except for – er, my 'furry little problem,'" Remus quoted James.
"When is your next…time of the month?" asked Lily, giggling slightly.
"Ha ha," said Remus. "Not for another couple weeks."
Remus stayed walking with Lily until they got to Charms, where he situated himself between Lily and Peter, with James and Sirius on Peter's other side. Charm's was easily Lily's best subject; it was rare that it took her more than two tries to get a new spell mostly correct. The crow which she was supposed to be silencing only had the chance to crow twice before she snatched away its voice with a wave of her wand.
"Excellent, Miss Evans!" cried Professor Flitwick, whose voice was even squeakier than Peter's. "Fifteen points to Gryffindor!" Lily tried not to look too proud of herself.
Davy Gudgeon of Ravenclaw was having particular difficulty with the charm. He managed to send his toad soaring across the room. It hit a girl named Florence in the head. Sirius and James roared with laughter. Lily smirked mischievously and pointed her wand at them. "Silencio," she said, and both Sirius and James grabbed at their throats, which were refusing to make a sound. They mouthed obscenities at Lily, whose smirk only broadened. "Sorry, Professor," she said, as Professor Flitwick looked at the two boys, clearly confused. "I missed."
The bell rang, and with another wave of her wand, Sirius and James got their voices back. "There," she said, walking up to them. "We're even."
James opened his mouth to argue that she didn't have any reason to get even with them, but this time it was Remus that silenced him with his wand. Thankfully, Lily didn't notice.
"What did you do that for?" demanded James, after Lily had left the room and Remus had given him his voice back.
"And let you start another argument with Lily? I don't think so." Remus sighed and looked at Sirius and Peter, "It's going to take all three of us to help him snog her, isn't it?"
Sirius let out a great bark of laughter, and James glared at them.
