Disclaimer: I do not own Maria-sama Ga Miteru. Pity.

I wanna give a shout-out to Deepseachinky, serenityskywalker, EAnil, insomniac1970, and Velu for your comments! And not just any comments; but incredibly detailed and interesting comments! Seriously, you are awesome. In addition, I would like to thank anyone who favorited or followed PatS! Go you! Weee!

As for the brownie points... I wanna apologize. I kinda ate them all so I don't have any to give. They were so warm and chocolaty and... well... you can't eat just one. Sorries!

Here we go!

The Princess and the Sparrow

Chapter 7

0 – 0 – 0

Part 1

One of the first things people notice when they redo something is that no matter what it is, if they put effort into it, they are most likely much prouder of their second attempt than they were their first. Not only that, but given the right circumstances their work actually seems to turn out better, as well.

It was mainly because of that fact, and thanks in part to a generous helping of instant coffee in the morning, that Yumi managed to not only re-create her draft that had been destroyed during Sei's visit the previous day, but actually improve on it. In the process of drawing out her initial sketch, she was able to catch a few crucial errors she had made but not noticed, as well as come up with numerous fresh ideas about how to use the amount of land allotted to use with extra landscaping. It just goes to show that the old saying 'Measure Twice, Cut Once' was true in more than one field.

It was needless to say that her success and flash of design inspiration put Yumi in a good mood all morning long. That, coupled with the memory of Sei's visit fresh in her mind, gave the architect cause to enjoy the process of working. She had music playing softly from her computer behind her, to which she hummed along with contently. She whisked her pencil along her straightedge and worked with a flourish, smiling all the while. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, Yumi was in a terrific mood, and her work was progressing splendidly- considering she had begun just a couple days ago. Not many things could effectively ruin the good mood radiating from the woman.

Just as Yumi was about to switch her standard pencil for a mechanical one, her phone buzzed from beside her table. Yumi leaned over to check the caller ID, and then her heart skipped a beat.

The name that appeared on her phone's display was Suguru Kashiwagi.

Yumi sat there, staring at her phone for a long moment. She briefly entertained the thought of just letting the other wait on the line until he got bored and hung up, but quickly disregarded it. Knowing the Kashiwagi heir as well as she did, he wouldn't call without good reason and therefore... he would wait. He would wait until Yumi picked up. If she didn't, he would simply call again in a few minutes. It was simply how he worked. It was one of the many things she knew about the man.

He was different from his cousin, Yumi idly realized as she reached out for the phone. Touko would call only once and wait for Yumi to call back, no matter how long it would take. She remembered one instance where Touko stayed up until two in the morning for Yumi to call her back. Being caught up in a working frenzy, the older woman simply hadn't noticed her soeur had called until she was ready to turn in for the night.

Or, in that case, the morning.

Yumi felt her fingers grasp her phone and pull it into her lap. Suguru's name still blinked up at her, clearly impressing on her the importance of the call. Just why the hell was he calling anyway? Why now? How long had it been since Suguru Kashiwagi actually contacted Yumi? It must have been at least half a year. Yumi made it a point to avoid frequent contact with the man, for certain reasons. And in return, Suguru left Yumi well enough alone, only going out of his way to contact with her every now and again for old times' sake to see how she was doing. It had been like that for the past six years.

So, in effect, for him to call Yumi out of the blue was considered odd. At least… these days it was. And when he did, it was usually awkward. Their conversations either centered around themselves, Touko… or—

Suddenly, a horrible thought occurred to Yumi. Ever since she and Suguru had their falling out, the main thing, of many, that tied them together was their relationship to Touko. To Touko... and Sachiko. Yumi knew if there was something about Touko, the doctoral student would likely tell her in person. She knew better than to go through Suguru Kashiwagi to get to Yumi. So... that only left one other option.

This call probably had something to do with Sachiko Ogasawara

Slowly, Yumi fumbled with the answer key and held the phone to her ear. She cleared her throat. "Hello, this is Yumi Fukuzawa." She said clearly and calmly as she could. If Sachiko was indeed the reason Suguru was calling, Yumi still didn't want it to deter her from the fact that she suspected as much. She needed to be normal… as normal as she could manage when talking to the Kashiwagi heir. Though, she never could manage it perfectly, even as a girl.

"Good morning, Yumi-chan. It's been a while, hasn't it?" Came the man's smooth voice into her ear. Upon hearing it again, especially after such a long time, Yumi felt her back stiffen. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything important."

"Hello, Kashiwagi-kun." Yumi returned with a polite greeting of her own, willing herself to use the man's family name. "It has been a while. What can I do for you?" She knew she sounded short, but honestly, the sooner she finished their conversation, the better. Even hearing his voice was starting to bring back memories better left forgotten.

"I was actually hoping I could borrow you for a couple hours." The man said, his tone a mix of sounding distracted and business-like at the same time. It was the same tone he always used when asking for something he knew he would eventually get. Hearing it used on her the same way he used it for business slightly annoyed Yumi, and caused her grip the phone a little tighter.

"I happen to be a busy today, Kashiwagi-kun." She replied, her voice clipped. "Why don't you just tell me what you need to tell me so we can conclude our business quickly?" She stressed the word, hoping to drive her point home to the older man. Suguru, with as much history as he and Yumi had, should know better than to treat her like she was a job. He should know better than to treat Yumi the same as everything else he dealt with.

The other was quiet for a moment. Then he came back, his voice noticeably softer and the business tone all but gone. "I'm sorry. I was hoping to talk face-to-face, Yumi. It's..." He trailed off, and then cleared his throat. "It's important."

Yumi's eyes narrowed at the familiarity he used her name with, but chose to ignore it. After not hearing from him in such a long time, it hardly seemed like an important issue right now. After all, it was the tone he now used that caught her attention rather than the way he said her name. He only used that tone- that serious, quiet tone, when what he had to say was actually important... as he said.

She didn't really have any reservations against meeting with him. The two of them hadn't been on great terms over the past few years, but were professional and respectful enough to keep things civil, if not friendly between each other when they did meet. So while awkward at times, Yumi was proud that at least one of her past relationships hadn't completely deteriorated after they ended. She and Suguru had too many things that tied them together to completely ignore each other.

But still, it was strange for the man to call Yumi out of nowhere and ask to see her. She had every right to deny him, and by all rights should just let him try again later instead of agreeing to his impromptu meeting. But Suguru knew this, just as much as Yumi did. He was a smart man, and a respectful one. He knew what it meant for him to be asking Yumi for her time. He was aware of the history, the same as Yumi. And yet, he was still asking. That counted for something, at least.

Suppressing a sigh, Yumi shook her head and closed her eyes. "Fine. Lunch, then." She acquiesced tiredly. After all, one meeting should hardly hurt anything. If the man had something important to discuss… even if it was Sachiko… then Yumi could spare a couple hours.

"That sounds agreeable." Suguru replied. His tone was back to his usual coolness, but there was a degree of relief there that Yumi heard with practiced ears. "I'll pick you up at eleven thirty."

"Sounds great." Yumi said without much enthusiasm.

"I'll see you then." Surugu said, and then paused. "Oh, Yumi?"

"What?"

"Dress nice, won't you?"

0 - 0 – 0

Part 2

As soon as Yumi was led through the threshold of the restaurant Suguru picked into the main dining area by a lively waiter and was met with a room full of men in expensive suits and women in lovely dresses, she sent a silence prayer of thanks to whoever it was that gave her the specially-tailored suit in her closet. She usually preferred to wear dresses and skirts to suits, but the fact that she was having lunch with Suguru Kashiwagi, of all people, meant that she didn't need to dress to impress. All she needed was to appear nice, professional, and mature. Her suit, with a light application of make-up, helped her attain that level of maturity that made her not stand out in the sea of rich, affluent faces that populated the large room.

Almost, anyway. Wearing her suit instead of a dress did cause more than a few eyes to wander over her figure. It wasn't often that a woman of Yumi's age wore a suit instead of something more feminine… in a place as nice as this, at least.

"Will this table be acceptable, Kashiwagi-sama?" The waiter asked politely, gesturing to a round table in a corner of the dining area meant for four customers.

"It will." Suguru said simply, casting a leisurely gaze over the table and the surrounding area. He had specifically requested a small table away from other customers when arriving and the staff, apparently recognizing the wealthy Kashiwagi heir-either from word of mouth or frequent visits to the restaurant, Yumi wasn't quite sure- was all too willing to accommodate.

The waiter nodded and held out the chair closest to Yumi, clearly intending for her to take his invitation to sit down. "Ma'am." He said, smiling towards Yumi. She ignored the "Ma'am" comment ("I'm still young!") and sat down stiffly, placing her purse on the seat to her right. The waiter then strode over to the Suguru and held out a chair for him, which he took with a small nod of thanks. "Please, have a look at our lunch menu and don't hesitate to call if you need anything." The waiter finally said, sliding a menu in front of Yumi and a matching one in front of the other. With a final bow, he strode back to his perch to watch for any other customers that might have needed assistance.

"I can't believe you still come here, Kashiwagi-kun." Yumi found herself muttering out loud as she looked around the dining area. She hadn't intended to speak out loud, but the man across from her heard nonetheless.

"You're surprised?" Suguru asked, his eyebrows rising. "I quite like this place. You and I came here quite a lot before, if I'm not mistaken."

Yumi let her face harden and looked away from the man, putting her hand under her chin. "That was before." She said softly. She looked across the room and spied a man and a woman talking quietly about something across their own table. Yumi idly wondered what it was they were talking about… but quickly disregarded it as likely something uninteresting.

"You cut your hair." Suguru said, pulling Yumi's attention back to him. She lowered her hand back down to the table and straightened up, casting a slightly confused look at the man.

"You just noticed that now?" She asked blankly.

Suguru shrugged with his hands. "To be honest, I noticed right away. I just chose to say something now."

Yumi scoffed at his words and shook her head. It was so very like the man, Yumi thought, to think of something and then wait until the best time to say it. He had always been an opportunist, whether in business… or privately. "Hair grows. If I didn't trim it every now and again, I would end up a troglodyte." Yumi said and gestured to the Suguru's own head of hair. It was flawless as always. "Not all of us can have hair that always stays perfect all day, every day for the entirety of his life."

Suguri blinked and reached up to grasp a lock of his dark hair, twisting it around his long fingers. "Really? Is that what you think?" He asked, curiosity leaking into his voice.

"It's what Touko thinks." Yumi rolled her eyes and reached out for the menu in front of her. "She's convinced you had some sort of gypsy curse you so that your hair never changes."

"Interesting." Suguru mused, still tugging at his hair. Noticing that Yumi was looking through the menu, he picked up his own. "They changed the menu since you came here last." He said unnecessarily. The architect lowered the book and narrowed her eyes at the man across from her.

"I can see that much, Suguru." Yumi snapped, then immediately shut her mouth and went back to reading. She hadn't meant to use his first name. She had meant to keep things professional and distant during the course of this meeting. This was mainly due to the fact that the two of them weren't as close as they used to be, and as a result it would be awkward if they acted too friendly with each other. But, additionally, if the conversation turned towards the subject of Sachiko, as Yumi suspected it would, she wanted to keep things between them civil. She knew as much as anyone that when the Ogasawara heiress was brought up… well, it was suffice to say that Yumi wasn't the most friendly person in the world.

Suguru, hearing the familiarity in which Yumi used his name, smiled. "You can order anything you like, Yumi-chan." He said softly. "It's on me."

"Is that so?" The architect asked sarcastically, giving the man a glance over the top of the menu. Seeing the nod he gave, she allowed herself a small smirk. She would make him regret that little bit of charity.

Soon, after the waiter came back with glasses of water, Yumi and Suguru placed their orders (Yumi ordered a full six dishes… two of them Wangyu marbled beef, much to the waiter's surprise and Suguru's humor) and the two were left alone again. The man was still chuckling as Yumi silently took a sip from her glass.

"And just what is so funny?" Yumi snapped.

"You know, all that Wangyu will go right to your thighs." Suguru said smoothly, his smile smug. Yumi bared her teeth and looked away.

"Fuck you, Suguru. My thighs are none of your business." She growled, taking another sip of water. He really didn't have to point that out… for all the man's intelligence, he was quite stupid. Besides, it wasn't as if Yumi was going to eat all that meat! She just ordered that much to slight the Kashiwagi heir and take a bite out of his smug attitude if only by a minuscule amount.

"Too true, that." Suguru sighed and took a drink from his own glass, not really minding the amount of food ordered but sniffing at the woman's choice of language. Yumi had never heard the man swear before, and was also well aware of his aversion to foul language. It was because of that she willingly used it around him. It had always been one of the ways of annoying the older man. One of very few ways, actually. "I would wager that both of us are quite agreeable by that fact, aren't we?" He continued, his laugh gone, but the remains of one still lingering on his lips.

Yumi leveled a curious look at the man and arched an eyebrow. "Suguru Kashiwagi-kun, did you just attempt to make a joke?" She asked, giving up on her goal to not use the man's name. It was too late anyway. He seemed intent on using hers, so she may as well match him. Suguru shrugged with his hands again and leaned forward on his elbows, giving Yumi a good going-over with his eyes. After a few moments, the woman began to feel uncomfortable and crossed her arms over her chest. She knew for a fact that she had nothing to fear from the Kashiwagi heir… but still… "What?" She finally asked.

The man shook his head evenly. "Nothing." He said. "I just was trying to remember the last time we actually had a conversation like this." That thought gave Yumi pause. How long had it been since the two of them talked? Not just conversed… or spoke to each other as a necessity… but actually talked? Yumi honestly couldn't remember. Most times, she would rather not have much to do with Suguru, and generally kept up contact because Touko was so fond of him. But now that she was here, and having a somewhat friendly, if not snarky conversation with the man… Yumi actually found it a little fun. It was almost like old times. Suguru could always put something of a smile on Yumi's face, after all. He knew all the right buttons to push.

"I don't remember." Yumi finally answered truthfully. She took another drink of water, sighing appreciatively at the hint of lemon in it, and then shrugged as she set back down the glass. "A while, I guess."

"Too long, Yumi-chan." Suguru agreed. Yumi cast a speculative glance over the man's face, trying but failing to pick up any hidden meaning behind his words.

"And just what are you implying by that?" She asked curtly.

The man shrugged again. "I am simply expressing my thoughts on our relationship these past few years."

Yumi sat up a little straighter, her face hardening. This was not a direction she really wanted to steer the conversation towards. "Our relationship-" She said, stressing the word. "-is suitable for people like us, Kashiwagi-kun. I don't know what you are trying to do by implying otherwise."

"Ah." Suguru breathed and cleared his throat into his hand. "Of course. I didn't mean it that way, Yumi." Yumi felt her lip twitch at the familiar shift in the manner he used to address her, but chose to ignore it. It didn't really matter to her how he called her, anyway. "I was merely suggesting that we try and spend more time together…" He paused, choosing his words. "Like the old days." He finally said.

Yumi glared at the man across from her. She wasn't going to have any of it. She didn't know what he was trying to do by suggesting they spend more time together… but she had spent too much time getting over Suguru to just fall into his traps again. Too much had happened to just forget about it and go back to the way things were before. Silently, she picked up a napkin from the table and wiped her lips. She then picked up her purse from the seat beside her and stood up, causing Suguru to stare up at her, a confused looking replacing his features.

"The old days are dead, Suguru." She said coldly. "You should know that. If that is all you called me here to discuss, then I suggest you take me home before I get angry."

There was something that passed through the man's eyes for a moment, something that Yumi couldn't quite make out. It clouded over his expression and seemed to replace it with a mix of confusion and regret. But, before Yumi could actually comment on it, it disappeared and Suguru's regular visage was back. He cleared his throat and gestured to Yumi's seat. "No. You're right, I'm sorry. That wasn't why I called you here today, Yumi-chan." He said, reverting back to a more casual way to talk to the woman. "Please, sit down."

Yumi let her glare soften after a few moments, and then re-seated herself across from the man. "Then, why did you call me out today?" She asked warily. Now that the topic was again back to the 'important' thing Suguru wanted to discuss, Yumi found herself thinking about her earlier assumption that it was something about Sachiko Ogasawara. That would really be the only thing the Kashiwagi heir would likely deem important enough to call Yumi out to discuss with her about. So Yumi in turn found herself bracing for the worst.

Suguru picked up his glass and swirled the water idly around for a moment, and then took a sip. Yumi watched him carefully, waiting for the man to speak. When he did, it wasn't about anything Yumi expected.

"I heard you entered into a contract with Daisuke Onoga-sama."

Yumi's mouth fell open slightly, not quite sure she actually heard the man correctly. He did say Daisuke Onoga… didn't he? Onoga—not Sachiko Ogasawara? "Uh… what?" She asked stupidly. It was the only think she could say.

Suguru seemed to understand her confusion and smiled. "Sorry. I should explain. Touko contacted me last week to tell me that you and Yuuki-chi agreed to design Daisuke Onoga-sama's summer house." He said as Yumi slowly began to understand. "And while you didn't enter into a business contract with his company, since you are doing a private project with him, you still met with his lawyer and project head, right?"

Yumi nodded slowly, finally getting up to speed on the situation. "I see… so Touko told you, huh?" The man's silence was her answer. "Did she tell you anything else about it?"

"She just told me the bare essentials and I assumed the rest. Your job details – the details she knew anyway, yours and Yuuki-chi's projected time frame and…" His eyes bore into Yumi's own, as if watching for a reaction. "And the fact that Daisuke Onoga-sama contacted you using your relationship through the Ogasawara Group."

Yumi sighed and leaned forward on her hands, sending a silent prayer of thanks to Maria-sama for not having the actual reason Suguru called her out being her old grande soeur. And yet, somewhere inside, she also felt a small pang of disappointment. Maybe she actually had wanted to talk to the older man about the Ogasawara heiress. He was, in fact, one of the only people she knew of (and talked to for that matter) that had reliable contact with the woman.

"I see." She said dejectedly. "So, what, you wanted to warn me or something?"

The look Suguru gave her was one of concern. "Not at all. I simply wanted to ensure you were alright working with Onoga-sama."

"What?" Yumi asked, her confusion growing with every moment. "Alright? Why would I not be…" She trailed off, trying to pick apart the older man's words. After a moment, a thought occurred to her. "Is there something about Onoga-san that either Yuuki or I should know?"

"You mean aside from the fact that he is a clean-cut, Japanese, law-abiding businessman?" Suguru asked sardonically. "Not really, no."

"I wouldn't exactly call the man 'clean-cut'." Yumi muttered, remembering Daisuke Onoga's short, stubbly beard from their one and only meeting. Suguru laughed and idly looked around the dining room before returning his gaze to Yumi. "So he's safe, then?"

Suguru nodded. "He is. As long as he is concerned about giving himself face with the Ogasawara Group, you have nothing to worry about when working with him."

"Ah. Yea, Yuuki said as much." Yumi said. "He told me that the main reason Onoga-san gave us the contract was to gain face with the Ogasawara's. Pissed me off quite a bit… but whatever. Business is business."

The Kashiwagi heir cocked his head to the side a little in a gesture of confusion. "Are you sure you are alright with it?" He asked carefully. "Touko was… we both are a bit worried about you."

Yumi leaned back in her chair and sighed. "She would be worried, huh? Touko always worries about me…"

"We all do, Yumi." Suguru said solemnly.

"You have a funny way of showing it, Suguru." Yumi snorted, and immediately felt a small pang of guilt. It wasn't necessarily his fault she practically cut him out of her personal life, and the man was doing what he could with the resources he had. Clearing her throat, Yumi attempted to repair the dyke. "I mean… ugh, you know what I mean." She tried, but failed. She had always been bad getting her point across, even as a younger girl.

Luckily, the man across from her didn't have that problem. "I understand." He said, smiling. Yumi opened her mouth to ask what the man actually understood, but was interrupted when two waiters arrived, their arms loaded with food. Watching them place plate after plate in front of her, Yumi felt her cheeks warm. Ordering so much in an attempt to annoy Suguru seemed like a good idea at the time… but now that she was actually looking at the small mountain of food in front of her, and the Kashiwagi heir's sardonic smile across from her…

Well…

"Bon Appétit." Suguru said, his smile widening.Shit.

0 – 0 – 0

Part 3

Thirty minutes later a very full, and slightly foolish-feeling, Yumi pushed away a plate of spiced pork and looked across the table to see Suguru Kashiwagi, who stared back at her with a bemused smirk etched on his face. Out of the six whole dishes Yumi had ordered, she had managed to polish off two of them, and was only able to make a dent in the third before she was too full of beef, vegetables, and pork to manage any more.

She leaned back with a sigh and forced down some water, which was promptly re-filled by the waiter who, strangely enough, happened to pass by at that very moment. "Thank you." She said towards the man sitting across from her.

Suguru nodded. "Of course, Yumi-chan. It makes me happy to see you eating." He said, still smiling. "Though, from what Touko says, you seem to be doing fairly well for yourself as far as eating is concerned."

Yumi blinked and narrowed her eyes at the man. It only took a moment for her to understand what he was really trying to say. "Are… are you telling me I'm fat?!" She gaped, not quite believing what she heard. Out of all the things she ever was called or thought of as, 'fat' was never one of them. And the fact that Suguru, of all people, was telling her was just adding salt to the wound.

"Oh no, Yumi, of course I am not saying that." Suguru chuckled and shook his head. "Touko is the one who said it."

Yumi's mouth hung open for a few moments, and then she snapped it shut. "I'm going to murder her." She growled as she took another drink of water. "And then sit on her corpse. Calling me fat... what the hell is she-" She trailed off at a raised hand from Suguru.

"Calm down, Yumi. I only meant to say that you have made a good hobby out of cooking." He said, still sporting a smirk. "Touko tells me often of the food you make for her and everyone else. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you cook for everyone at New Year's?"

Yumi shifted in her seat, crossing her legs under the table in an attempt to sit up straighter. "Yea." She said slowly. "I did. It went over pretty well."

Suguru nodded and expertly manipulated a pair of chopsticks to pick up a piece of sushi from his plate. He took a small, testing bite before popping the entire thing into his mouth. He chewed for a few moments and then swallowed. "I'm happy you found a creative hobby. When did you start cooking?" He asked.

Yumi silently stared back at Suguru for a while, feeling slightly uncomfortable being questioned about that by the man. She specifically hadn't told Suguru about her hobby, simply because it had been because of him she had started. Not directly, of course, but he had been a large reason. Yumi had needed an outlet to pour her energy into at the time, or... well, things might have turned out much differently. And essentially, she didn't really want the man to know the exact reasons why she started cooking. "I... started my last year of Geidai. I just needed something to take my mind off of... things. Rei-sama was willing to teach me." She finally said, hanging her head a little.

Suguru eyed Yumi for a moment, and then nodded, understanding. He sighed quietly and picked up his glass of water, taking a slow swig. The two sat there for a long time, not saying anything. Suguru periodically sipped at his water, letting his eyes wander around the room full of diners. Yumi stared at her unfinished food uncomfortably, not quite sure if she should talk or not. She hadn't intended or wanted the conversation to turn this direction specifically. But, somehow, every time she and the Kashiwagi heir met by themselves, this topic was touched upon in some way. Whether it was intentional or not, by Suguru or Yumi herself, it had to be mentioned. And, as a result, the conversation always became awkward. Neither knew what to say or how to act. Suguru, for all his politeness and intelligence, just didn't know how to breach the topic around Yumi. And Yumi herself... she just didn't want to talk about it. Period.

Finally, it was Yumi who broke the silence with an unexpected question. "So, how is Onee-sama?"

Suguru stiffened in his chair, his eyes swiveling back to Yumi, a slightly disbelieving look in his face. Yumi stared back at the man trying her hardest to keep her expression neutral. It never worked out as well as she would have liked, but at least it gave her something to concentrate on. The two stared at each other for what seemed like hours, until Suguru finally seemed to shake off his surprise. "I'm... I am surprised you are asking me this, Yumi." He finally said, placing his glass back on the table.

"Why are you surprised?" Yumi asked softly.

"You never asked me about her before." Suguru leaned forward on his elbows, resting his chin in his hands.

Yumi let her eyes wander away from Suguru and rest on the couple she had found eating earlier. They were just getting prepared to leave; the man was helping the woman into her coat, gently slipping the dark green jacket on over her matching green dress. "I haven't asked anyone about her before." She finally said, still not looking at Suguru.

"Why are you asking now? Why ask me?"

Yumi thought for a moment, watching as the couple walked towards the threshold to the dining hall and disappeared from her sight. After they left, she slowly returned her attention to Suguru. "I don't know." She said after a long minute. "I'm asking you because you are the only one I know that regularly communicates with her. Well-" She corrected herself. "You and Touko."

Suguru shrugged; that same gesture with his hands. "Actually, Touko refuses to talk to Sa-chan." He said. Yumi found herself wanting to shudder at the use of Suguru's old name for the woman, but stifled to reaction as best she could. "It would seem that Touko quite despises her for… well..." He waved towards Yumi with his hand. "You know."

"I didn't know that." Yumi admitted, thinking of her petite soeur. "She never let me know about how she really felt about what happened. It's one of the only things we never really talk about." She stopped talking, a sudden upsetting feeling crawling down her spine. There were, in fact, a few things she and the younger woman never really talked about together. Some things that happened they ignore for both their friendship, as well as their soeur relationship. Some things that Yumi had no real idea what Touko thought or how she felt about, despite their closeness. That realization made Yumi's stomach twist painfully.

"I imagine she doesn't want to add extra stress to your lives." Suguru suggested, sensing the comfort level of the topic and trying to alleviate it. "Anyway, it is true I do make an effort to keep in contact with most people I meet, if not only for business reasons. Sa-chan and I…" He hesitated, choosing his words as he eyed Yumi from across the table. "While we are not engaged anymore, we still keep in contact from time to time."

Yumi nodded, taking another sip of water to settle her still-full stomach. She started this conversation, Suguru did not. That meant she had to finish it… without losing her lunch. "Alright." She croaked as she emptied her glass and set it back down on the table. "So… how is she?"

"Before I answer anything, I have to ask you." Suguru said seriously, keeping a steady gaze on Yumi. "Why do you want to know now?"

Yumi sat there for a long time, a million reasons floating through her thoughts. Why did she want to know? Why now and not years ago? Was it because she thought enough time had passed? Was it because she was worried? Because she thought Sachiko should be well over her and therefore the knowledge would give Yumi some kind of closure? If so, why did she wait so long to ask? Surely such information would have helped earlier in life. Was it because of Suguru? Because of the good atmosphere he and Yumi seemed to have now, surprisingly after six years of awkward meetings and stiff formal conversations?

Summoning up the will to speak, Yumi set her jaw and placed her hands on the table, her fingers laced together tightly. "I think…" She whispered. "It's because I need to know if she if happy." She looked up to find Suguru's dark blue eyes staring back at her. "I hate her, Suguru. I hate her as much now as I did back then. But, as much as I hate Onee-sama, I still want her to be happy. I need to know that she is happy living in England." She paused, looking away from the man. "If I know she is happy… then maybe I can be too."

She peered at Suguru out of the corner of her eye, and watched him as he digested her words. After a few quiet moments, he sighed. "I understand what you want to say." He said and relaxed his shoulders. "If that is indeed the case, I will answer your questions."

"Thank you." Yumi replied the man stiffly, turning back to fully face him. "So… how is she?" She braced herself for the worst.

"She is doing well, actually." Suguru said in a suddenly conversational tone. "She is quite busy, of course, being the head of the United Kingdom branch of the Ogasawara Group. But, she is healthy and keeping active."

"Good." Yumi said, nodding slowly. Her stomach flipped a little, but it was a manageable discomfort. "It must have been difficult for her at the beginning. How did she manage that?" She was, of course, referring to how a nineteen year-old Japanese girl, just finished with her freshmen year in college, was able to go over to a new country and pick up the reigns of an entire country's branch of a power company such as the Ogasawara Group. Even nine years later, Yumi still had a hard time believing that actually happened.

Suguru laughed softly, his soft, dulcet voice rang through Yumi's ears. "It was challenging at first, apparently. Many of the executives at that end didn't really… agree… with the decisions made. There were some professional disagreements had at the time and just as many—" He paused for a moment, pursing his lips. "People encouraged to leave, I suppose one could say. In the end, Sa-chan kept the position as head of that branch and transferred to the Business School in the University of London."

Yumi let a low whistle slip past her lips. "Even I have heard of that school. Isn't that one of the best business schools in the world?" So... London; she finally knew where Sachiko lived. Not that it mattered, anyway.

"Fourth behind IMB, Insead, and SDA." Suguru nodded. "Though you with your Master of Arts from Geidai is nothing to be disappointed in."

Yumi shrugged, willing herself not to blush at the comment. It was difficult; the Kashiwagi heir rarely gave out compliments. "The only reason I pushed for the MA was because Touko practically forced me to." She shook her head. "Anyway, so she graduated?"

"With a Master of Business degree from London, yes." Suguru continued. "Since then, she had effortlessly handled all aspects of running the United Kingdom branch of the Ogasawara Group."

"Good for her." Yumi muttered with no small amount of sarcasm. The Ogasawara heiress never had any problems handling anything… and that includes breaking up with Yumi all those years ago. It only made sense that the woman also had little issue gaining control of an entire company in just a few years. "It's good to know that she still hasn't lost her touch."

"Yes." Suguru said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin with his hand. "It is."

"And how is she doing… in her personal life?" Yumi asked, lowering her eyes to the table.

"Personal life?" Suguru echoed from across the table. "By that you mean…?"

"Is she—you know…" Yumi stopped to chew at her lip. "Is she dating anyone?"

"Ah." Suguru said slowly in understanding. Having the sense to keep his face neutral, he reached out to lace his fingers around his glass of water. "Is it important?"

Yumi considered that for a moment. Was it important? Did it really matter to her whether or not her old soeur and girlfriend was seeing someone else? It had been nine years, so by all rights, she and the woman had been over with a long time ago. So what did it matter if Sachiko had a new girlfriend… or boyfriend… or even a husband. For all Yumi knew, the woman could have an eight year old son or daughter by now. So really, what did it matter?

It mattered because it was Sachiko Ogasawara. It mattered because she was Yumi's Onee-sama. It would always matter in some small way.

"Yes, it is." Yumi said decidedly. "It's important to me." She unblinkingly looked at Suguru, matching his sharp gaze with a stern one of her own. She had to know. She had to get past this shadow that loomed over her like a mountain, threatening to forever stand in her way. If she knew, then she knew she could get past it. Maybe she could move on.

"Very well." Suguru nodded curtly, and cleared his throat. "Truthfully, I do not know for sure. She doesn't see fit to tell me about her personal relationships. She never has." He shrugged with his hands, a small, wistful smile playing about his lips. He then grew more serious. "But, I have heard with my sources… that is, down the business grapevine, that she is involved with someone."

Yumi immediately suppressed another urge to throw up her lunch. The sick feeling travelled up from her stomach, up through her chest and rested behind her face. She immediately recognized the intense urge to cry. "Involved with someone?" She asked quietly. Her mouth felt clumsy and unfamiliar- her tongue cottony and fat. Of course she was involved with someone. Someone like Sachiko Ogasawara was always going to be involved with someone. It was pre-ordained to be like that. "How so?"

Suguru watched her carefully, his eyes missing nothing in Yumi's face. "I do not know the details. I only know that she and the other have been involved, whether romantically or professionally, for quite some time. I also don't know if the person in male or female. I do know that she is still unmarried, though. I have garnered that much from her during our recent emails as well as certain business sources."

"I see." Yumi forced out through numb lips. "I find it hard to imagine her being romantically involved with a man, though."

"You know just as well as I do, Yumi," Suguru said, his tone carrying a distinct mix of distain and bitterness. "That 'romance' has little to do in the world of business. In the grand scheme of things, people like Sa-chan and I are pawns to do what our families want us to do."

Yumi looked up to level a tired stare at the man. "What about you, then?" She asked bitterly. Suguru raised an eyebrow at the question, giving Yumi the impression that he didn't quite understand where Yumi was coming from. "You clearly didn't care about what your family thought, or you wouldn't have—" She stopped herself just in time. She had almost said something she would have regretted... something the both of them would have regretted.

But, the damage had been done. From the look that was now etched on the Kashiwagi heir's face, one of disappointment and discomfort, Yumi knew that their friendly conversation was over.

Suguru opened his mouth and started to speak. "Yumi, I—"

"Take me home." Yumi cut him off, her voice suddenly cold. "Please." She added, almost as an afterthought. Suguru looked as though he was going to decline and continue their conversation, but after a few moments, he nodded.

"As you wish." He said and turned to call for the nearest waiter.

0 – 0 – 0

Part 4

Suguru drove his blood-red sports car up to Yumi's house and coasted to a slow crawl. Yumi only lurched a little when the car stopped fully at the top of her driveway. The woman immediately grabbed for her purse and unbuckled her seatbelt. Not saying a word, she opened the passenger-side door and leaned over to exit the car. As she was halfway up, a sudden force pulled her to a stop. She looked back to see Suguru holding her hand from his side of the car.

"Let me go." Yumi said, her voice hard. "I have work to do."

"Yumi." His voice was soft and quiet, barely audible from the idling of the car's engine. "Please do not be angry."

Yumi wrenched her hand from the man's grip, wincing only slightly as it slapped against the car door. She immediately felt her hand begin to throb. "What do you know about being angry!?" She hissed at him. "You weren't abandoned by the person you loved! You weren't left alone while she went gallivanting off to a new country to start a relationship with someone nobody knows! You didn't get your hopes crushed, only to have them built up by someone else and have them ripped away from you all over again!" She took a short, shallow breath. "You weren't pitied by the only person I felt that could understand me! You don't know about any of that, do you, Suguru Kashiwagi-sama?!" She had the guilty satisfaction of seeing the man's face wince, but she was too angry to really care.

"Yumi," Suguru said, his eyes boring into Yumi's. "I never meant to pity you. I only wanted you to be happy."

"But you did!" Yumi screamed at him from outside the car. "I told you six years ago, Suguru: I do not need your pity! I never wanted it!"

With that, she slammed the car door shut and turned on her heel, walking back to the front door of her house. She fumbled with her keys, tears slightly stinging at her eyes, and finally managed to unlock her door after a few clumsy attempts.

Yumi entered her house and shut the door, barely managing to not look at Suguru's car before firmly closing and locking it. Not bothering to take off her shoes or coat, she slowly walked down the hallway and entered her bedroom, flicking on the light as she entered the quiet room. She winced as the light stung at her tear-filled eyes, and took a few steps towards the center of the room.

She then stood still. For a long time she stood there, simply breathing through her nose, her eyes shut and her lips pressed tightly together. So many thoughts were flying through her head, it was difficult to think of any in particular. Sachiko... Suguru... Touko... England... Lillian Academy... Love... Hate... all of these thoughts floated around like flower petals in a gust of wind, making it difficult to grasp at any at all.

Sachiko was gone. She was gone and involved with someone else. She was happy. That should be a good thing, if not a great thing. Yumi should be happy. She should be pleased that the woman she loved so much had moved on and was living her own life away from Yumi. It was all she ever wanted for the Ogasawara heiress.

But Yumi wasn't happy. Not at all. Sachiko was gone, and she happy with someone else. She had left Yumi alone... she had left her alone because she wasn't happy with Yumi. Yumi wasn't what Sachiko wanted. She wasn't- she wasn't-

Yumi wasn't good enough for her.

Yumi's exhaled sharply through her nose. Her stomach twisted painfully. She balled her hands tightly into fists at her sides. The thought of Yumi not being good enough brought back an old, half-forgotten feeling that Yumi barely registered in her mind. It seemed familiar, but alien at the same time. Yumi distantly felt herself try to remember what it was.

And then there was Suguru Kashiwagi. He was still the same. He said words to make Yumi feel better about Sachiko. He wanted to make her feel better on the outside... but he hadn't changed at all. He still felt sorry for her. He still felt as though Yumi was something sad, in need of protection. He still- he still-

He pitied Yumi. He didn't really care about her. You can't care about something you pity.

Yumi felt her legs buckle underneath her, and collapsed to the floor with a gasp. At once, her tears sprang forth and she cried. She held her arms around her body and she cried. She cried for a long time, her eyes clamped shut and her legs pinned underneath her. She cried for Sachiko. She cried for Suguru. She cried for herself. She cried for anything she could think of. She cried because she didn't know what to cry for.

She cried because she could.

Eventually Yumi noticed that her tears had stopped, and she sat up on her legs, breathing heavily. She was tired, she noticed. There was still light leaking in through her closed curtains, so it must have still been daytime. Slowly, she scanned her eyes around her bedroom to locate her wall-clock, only to have her vision fall over the bulletin board over her bed full of pictures.

In total, as Yumi took them all and saw them nearly every day, there were more than two-dozen different pictures littering the space above her bed. Each picture had different people in a different place at a different time. There were some from her high school days, some from university, but most were from after she graduated and started to put her life back together. Coincidentally, that was the time Yumi had been most comfortable with to take pictures. As she scanned her tired, tear-stung eyes over the photographs, she looked for one in particular.

She found it. A picture taken when Yumi was twenty-one years old. She was wearing a Tokyo University for the Arts sweatshirt, and smiling shyly beside another person. The other, a taller, more-physically impressive figure, was casually-dressed Suguru Kashiwagi. The two of them were standing beside each other, both leaning inward to have a picture taken of the two of them. The look on Suguru's face was calm, cool and controlled; the same he always wore. But, there was also another aspect to his expression; one that Yumi knew from seeing it so much. It was one of comfort, and familiarity.

He was comfortable around Yumi. He was familiar with her. And from the shy, somewhat relaxed expression Yumi radiated, it was clear that Yumi felt the same way.

As she focused on the picture, Yumi felt a burning in her stomach. She hated that picture. She had hated it for years. She always wanted to get rid of it, but never had summoned up the willpower to. Now was the chance.

Baring her teeth, Yumi dashed to her bed and climbed onto it. She reached out, snatching the target photograph from the bulletin board. For a few short moments, she stared at it. She looked into her own eyes... the eyes of a twenty-one year old girl... the eyes of one who was just getting back onto her feet with the help of a trusted friend when the love of her life ripped her heart out. She looked at Suguru's eyes. She looked at his cool, dark-blue eyes. The eyes that pitied her… the eyes that always pitied her. Yumi always hated those eyes.

She tore the picture in half.

With a stifled cry, she tore the remains of the picture again, ripping them into smaller pieces. She tore them again and again, until the pieces were too small for her to tear anymore. When she couldn't rip up the pieces any smaller, she threw the fragments away behind her. Her eyes travelled back to the wall full of pictures again, and she spotted another picture of Suguru. This one had him and Yumi in a group picture with everyone from high school. Clenching her teeth together, she snatched the picture off the wall and jumped off her bed, dashing to her desk and rummaging through the top drawer. After a moment she found a pair of scissors and, without hesitation, cut Suguru out of the photograph. She dropped the remains of the picture on her desk and picked up the piece with Suguru.

"Stop looking at me like that." She whispered, her voice shaking with anger as she glared at the picture of the man. "Stop pitying me. I hate it!" Her muscles tensed as she ripped the picture fragment in half. Throwing the pieces away, she whirled around, her blood pumping in her ears. Her eyes swiveled, looking for something… anything to douse the fire in her stomach. She focused on a small box at the table beside her bed. At once, she knew what she had to do.

She all but leapt at the box and wrenched it open, looking down at the pictures and memories contained within. So many pictures, so many memories of Sachiko Ogasawara, lay in her hands… tempting her… taunting her. They reminded her of times past; times that were no longer able to be enjoyed or reminisced fondly about. They were gone, replaced by sick feelings and thoughts of abandonment.

They had to be destroyed.

Yumi picked up one picture. This one had Yumi and Sachiko holding hands on a bench in the park. They had asked a passerby to help them take the picture. He had thought they were sisters. Well, he had been half right.

Yumi tore it in half.

She took out another picture. This one had Yumi and Sachiko's face, taken as a close up. Sachiko had held the camera out at arm's length and snapped the photo, catching Yumi by surprise.

Yumi ripped it into shreds.

She turned the box upside down, watching as all her photos rained down on her bed. A few caught her eye as they lay face-up at her. One of Yumi and Sachiko… the younger girl sporting a light blush. Another of Sachiko, licking an ice cream cone and looking at the camera. Another of Yumi pulling Sachiko into the camera frame from elsewhere, giving the older girl a surprised look.

She shredded them all apart with her bare hands, her eyes stinging with tears.

Finally, she picked up the last remaining picture. It had Yumi, looking flustered and embarrassed in her old Lillian Academy Uniform. Sachiko was standing opposite of her, straightening Yumi's uniform on that day they had first met. Yumi held the picture up with both hands, staring at it with blurry eyes and her chest heaving. This picture had started their relationship as acquaintances, friends, soeurs, and finally lovers. This picture had started everything. This one picture had been the catalyst for the most important time in Yumi's life, for better or for worse. As long as she kept it… Yumi would never be free of Sachiko.

Yumi gripped the picture with her fingers, her hands trembling with anger. She shut her eyes as tightly as she could, willing herself to keep steady. She was so close… so close to being free… she could feel it. She could hear it in the beating of her heart in her ears. She could taste it in the saliva on her tongue. She could smell it in the dust of the pictures she destroyed. It was so near…

She felt the picture tear a small bit, and as soon as her fingers started to move, her throat burned with the taste of bile. Dropping the picture and holding her hand to her mouth, Yumi leapt off the bed and dashed to the bathroom, barely managing to slap on the light before throwing her head into the toilet.

Yumi's throat, nose and mouth burned as her lunch made another appearance, causing her to heave mouthful after mouthful of partially-digested food mixed with stomach acid into the toilet. The pain of vomiting was only made worse by the shame and self-hatred at not being able to destroy that one little picture.

Soon, after she was sure that her stomach had finished emptying itself, Yumi stumbled over to the bathroom sink and, looking into the mirror, and was met by the same brown-eyed woman she saw every time she looked into it. Her eyes were tired and bloodshot. Her face was pale and sickly. Her hair was askew. Yumi could barely recognize the woman as her own reflection. But what made it even worse… worse than feeling the hate and the disappointment directed at herself… was the look of pity the woman in the mirror stared at her with.

"Stop it." Yumi hissed through gritted teeth. "Stop pitying me." The look didn't stop. If anything, the woman's look grew more intense. "I said stop it! I don't want to see it anymore!" Yumi slapped her hands on the bathroom counter, ignoring the slight sting of pain that shot through her palms. "She is happy! She doesn't need or want me anymore! I don't need her! I can be happy on my own!" She slammed her hands down on the counter with each sentence, her force growing with each strike. "I don't care about not being good enough for her! I don't need Suguru's pity! I don't need everyone to worry about me every fucking day! I don't need Touko to—" She clenched her hands into fists, the pain shooting through them barely registering in her mind. "I don't need her to feel guilty about me!" She glared at the woman, her jaw set at tightly as she could manage. "So stop looking at me like that."

The woman seemed to consider that. But then, after a long moment, she shook her head.

"I said stop it!" Yumi shrieked, clenching her eyes shut and throwing a tightly-balled fist at the woman. The hit landed directly on her cheek, and Yumi distantly felt her arm jolt to a stop. After a few seconds, Yumi, opened her eyes and looked at the mirror. It had splintered from the point her hand had struck it, causing more than a dozen cracks to spread out from the impact and create a design like a spider web. Yumi found the woman staring back at her, from a dozen different angles. But this time, her look of pity was gone- in its place was confusion and dizziness.

Slowly Yumi wandered out of the bathroom, her breathing shallow and her eyes wandering. Her hand swarmed with pain, giving her the sensation as though countless ants were crawling over it. How had that happened? What was the itching sensation she felt? She reached over to scratch at it, but it only got worse. It felt so familiar to her. It was almost as if she had felt it before… at another time. But it hardly seemed important at that moment.

Yumi's vision started to blur as her breaths came faster and shorter. The different parts of her bedroom began to blend together as though it was a painter's canvas.

Huh... now that's a funny thought... Yumi heard her own voice whisper in her head.

A painter's canvas. Who did Yumi know that painted? Suguru? Hah. No way. The man would never have the patience for it. Touko? Yumi had no doubts she could, if she ever put forth the effort. But no, she had never known the younger woman to paint.

Oh… that's right… That woman Yumi had met recently painted. What was her name? Sachiko? Haha—no. Sachiko was her Onee-sama's name. What a silly thought. Sachiko was long gone and never coming back. She had a boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever now. Sachiko was gone… Suguru didn't care about Yumi... the only people Yumi had now were Touko and her friends. She only had them to rely on, just like always.

Oh yea… that woman's name was Maya. Maybe Yumi could rely on her a little bit, too. A little bit shouldn't hurt. If she did, maybe Yumi could forget all about Sachiko and Suguru.

She could forget everything bad... and replace them with new, happy thoughts.

Slowly, as the pain in her hand began to numb and her vision faded away, Yumi's distantly remembered that she left her coat in Suguru's car.

0 – 0 – 0

From the Diary of Yumi Fukuzawa: Entry 7

There are a lot of things about Suguru Kashiwagi I will never tell anyone. Some things are small… unimportant. Things like he prefers his eggs over-easy. Or that he has a twitch in his left hand when he is impatient. Some things are slightly more embarrassing. Did you know he snores occasionally? Not loudly, but its loud enough to notice... and only when he sleeps on his back. If you give him a push then he'll turn on his side and stop. Things like that, while aren't important, I will still keep a secret. It's just common courtesy, isn't it?

Some things, though, I will never tell anyone- common courtesy or not. Not Shimako-san... not Rei-sama or Yoshino-san... not my parents... not even Touko. Some things are a secret because of the weight they carry. The weight of a secret between two people is heavier, more important, than one.

There, now that that's out of the way...

Suguru first visited me the day after Onee-sama left the country. The first time was short- only a few minutes. He came long enough to deliver a bouquet of flowers (lilies) surprising me, Touko, Yoshino-san and Shimako-san but making my mother and father extremely pleased, and say he will visit me as often as he could manage. He then left, almost as quickly as he had come. We were all confused at his behavior, but took it at face value. At least he cared enough to visit and give me his regards.

Little did I know that he would be true to his word. He started visiting me at my home at least once a week. It was a little odd at first, having him around so often. But, considering Touko's all-but moving into my room for the summer, it was not nearly strange enough to call attention to. During the visits, he was extremely polite, kind, caring, and helpful.

I was extremely wary of Suguru at first. Not because I had not always held him in high regard, or because he was a man... but because he was Onee-sama's ex-fiancé. I remember I kept thinking that this had to be some sort of trick. Or perhaps that Onee-sama had bade him to keep an eye on me and make sure I was not doing anything stupid.

Eventually, thanks in part to Touko's positive behavior at the man's intervention in my life, I began to expect him at times... even look forward to his visits. He would come and talk with Touko and I and, when I was feeling up to it, he would take the two of us out in his car and go different places. Somewhere between the start of summer and the end and the start of my university life, I began to actually enjoy his company.

With the end of summer came a difficult transition. I would be moving out of my home and attending Tokyo University of the Arts. Shimako-san and Yoshino-san would be going their own separate ways to their own schools (but, luckily, they would be staying close by in Tokyo) and Touko would be going back to Lillian as the new Rosa Chinensis. I would be going to a new school... a new environment... and I would be alone.

The thought frightened me greater than anybody truly realized. I tried hard to not let people know how afraid I actually was but, because of my now-famous ability to 'allow' my face to show my feelings, somehow they already knew. Out of everyone that promised to visit me when they had the chance, the one that surprised me the most was Suguru.

And visit me often he did.

I had no idea why at first, but Suguru found opportunities during the week to visit me a shocking amount of times. He had his own school to go to and a family to spend time with... but even with multiple different obligations he still came to visit me, picking me up from my dorm or after classes to spent time together. He and I would go eat at different places, go to museums and parks just to waste time, and basically do whatever either of us wanted to do. It was, honestly, a much-needed distraction in my life that I desperately needed.

After a few long months of seeing more of the man than I ever had during my time with Onee-sama, I began to slowly reconsider my views on how I thought about Suguru.

I was sexually attracted to women. I knew that. My family knew that. All my friends knew it. Sei-sama was extremely pleased when I had finally 'broken the news', as they called it, to everyone. What made it all the more humbling was that no one minded.

I also knew that Suguru liked men. He told me himself not long after we began to spend more time together. I didn't mind either. If anything, I found that preferable to him liking women. With how he was, I could relax and actually enjoy myself without having to worry. He had said the same to me. Though... what he would have to 'worry' about, I never really could figure out. So, in effect, we found each other's company comfortable and we could relax together.

I was gay... so was he. There was never any kind of sexual attraction between the two of us. But, still, surprisingly enough, there was romance there. He would never attract me in the way Onee-sama did; and I could never attract him in the way men could. It should never have worked between us. Our relationship was never based on sex and we never even bothered with it. But, in the end, we are alright with what we had. We were happy being close to one another.

Did I love him? Yes, in a way, I did love him. Love comes in all kinds of shapes and colors, just like art. You can take a picture that you know and accept as 'love' and turn it upside down and no longer recognize it for what it is. But, if you are open enough to keep looking for it from a different angle... you can definitely still find it.

I loved Suguru Kashiwagi.

I was twenty-one years old and well into my third year of undergraduate study. We had been dating for almost two years... though we kept the entire thing a secret from Touko as well as everyone else. Doing it that way just made it somewhat simpler to deal with until the time was right. To all outwards appearances, we were just very close friends to them.

One evening, Suguru took me out to have dinner together. It was familiar, safe, and made me comfortable. I had just put my life back together in some strange way with Suguru's and everyone's help. I didn't need Sachiko to live. I had my friends and family. I had Suguru. I could feel that everything would be alright now.

Then Suguru Kashiwagi asked me to marry him.

Hearing him ask that from across the dinner table, over the dim buzz of ambient conversation from the other guests in the restaurant, made me pause. I had been reaching for my glass of wine when I froze and stared, wide-eyed, at a twenty-three year old Suguru Kashiwagi looking back at me.

"What?" I asked, not sure if I heard correctly.

"I asked you if you would marry me." He repeated, his face serious and his eyes searching mine. He leaned forward and grasped my hand with his. I felt something drop from his hand into mine and he pulled away, leaving a ring in my palm. I stared at the piece of jewelry for some time, feeling a mix of shock, surprise and anxiety tingle through my entire body.

I can still remember that feeling now, even as I am writing about it years later.

"Marry?" I echoed stupidly. Honestly, I had not expected the man to do anything like this, and I could not come back with anything coherent. It was just too unexpected.

"Yumi," Suguru said, using the familiar way he used to address me. Ever since he and I began our mutual relationship, he had always used that way to talk to me. "I know our relationship is... not a traditional one." He said, choosing his words carefully. "But I don't care about that. I am comfortable with you, and I feel that you are as well. I am well aware of my faults, as a man and as a person; you have told me time and time again, as it happens." He added with a light smile. "But I hope you can overlook them and accept me for what I am."

I broke my trance with the ring... and trust me it was difficult— that thing was a monster... and looked up at Suguru. I licked my lips, using the time it took wetting them to think, and finally said the first thing that came to mind. "What about Onee-sama?" I asked, feeling my tongue clumsily roll over the word as it formed in my mouth.

Suguru nodded and straightened. "It has been over between she and I ever since her family made the decision to send her to England." He said decidedly. "Sa-chan and I would have been a good match professionally; she and I were alike in that way. But with you, there is something else."

"Something else?"

Suguru stared at me for a long while, as if thinking about the best way to say what he wanted. He always took his time with things like that, so I waited. Finally, he sighed. "We are a better match." He said. "She and I were alike, that is true. But I am comfortable with you. You make me happy... relaxed. You are like a breath of fresh air in a stifling room."

"I see." I said, blushing lightly. Well, it was good to know I was better than Onee-sama in some ways.

"Yumi, ever since Sa-chan left I know you have felt alone." Suguru leaned forward, staring hard into my eyes. "It was devastating for you. I could feel it. I can still feel it. You tell everyone you are feeling better, but I know you far too well. You still miss her."

I broke my eye contact with Suguru and sighed. "Of course I miss her, Suguru. I always will." I didn't really want to talk about Onee-sama right then. Suguru had proposed to me; this was supposed to be about him and me. All this talk about the woman who left me was getting me depressed. I was sorry I brought it up.

Though... looking back, I am glad I did.

"Then, that's the best part." I heard Suguru say. I looked back at him, my eyebrows raised. "If you and I marry, we are free to be with whoever we want."

I blinked, feeling a sudden confusion at his words. "What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

"I mean, we can move to England. If you and I were to marry, you can have any job you want anywhere in the world. When you graduate, you can get a placement in England. There are many different options open to you if you are married into my family."

I felt my cheek twitch as I digested his words. He couldn't have possibly meant to say-

"To what end?" I asked, my voice growing colder.

It was Suguru's turn to blink in confusion. "So you can be together with Sa-chan." He said. "If you are married to me, there will be nothing to keep you from being with her. Naturally, you would be free to be with whoever you want to be."

Never in my life, not as far back as I could remember, had I ever hit anyone. I was always afraid to. Whether because I was scared to be hit in retaliation, or because I would hurt myself in the process. I had always just been too scared of the consequences and therefore never brought myself to do the violent action. But the moment I heard those words from Suguru, and felt the white-hot pain searing in my chest, I couldn't stop myself.

My right hand had crossed to the left side of his face before I could even register it had even connected with his cheek. My palm hadn't even started hurting until I had brought my hand to cradle it in my left hand.

Damn… let me tell you: slapping people really hurts like Hell.

Apparently, from the shocked look on Suguru's face, being on the receiving end hurt just as much, if not more.

"How dare you." I hissed as angrily as I could manage. "How dare you!"

Suguru brought his hand up to his cheek and rubbed at it gingerly. After a moment, his eyes wandered over to mine. "Yumi-"

"What makes you think that I would be happy with anything you just said?" I said acidly. "Marrying you just so I would be free to go after Onee-sama?! What the fuck makes you think that would be a good idea? What the fuck are you thinking?" Suguru made a movement, as if to speak, but I cut him off with a wave of my hand. "On second thought, don't even tell me what you were thinking! I don't want to know! All I need YOU to know, Suguru Kashiwag-kun, is that I do not need Onee-sama! She is gone! She didn't want me, so I don't want her!" I took a deep breath, feeling a shiver as anger flooded through my body. "What makes you think I want to be with her anymore!?" I glared at the man, waiting for some sort of response. When moments passed by with nothing from him, during which time I was deftly away the entire restaurant was watching this debacle unfold, I slapped my hands on the table. "Speak!" I screamed.

Suguru blinked, his face noticeably paler. In the back of my mind, I felt a little proud that I successfully scared the usually unflappable Suguru Kashiwagi. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. "Yumi, I just know how hurt you were when she first left. You are much better now, but I still remember. You were inconsolable for the longest time. You may not like to hear it but…" He hesitated. "I felt as though I had to do something."

I reeled back, a horrible thought occurring to me. "You felt sorry for me?" I gasped, my hand flying up to my mouth. Immediately, Suguru held his hands out in front of him.

"At first, I did. But then I began to enjoy my time with you. I never lied when I said I am happy being with you."

"So then, why?" I asked. "Why do you think I still want to be with her? Why do you care about that?"

"Because…" Suguru paused, his face contorting with thought. "I feel as though you won't be truly happy without her. I just feel as though you will never be the same if she isn't near you."

Standing there in the middle of our favorite restaurant, I thought about his words. He wanted me to get back together with Onee-sama. He wanted me to be happy. He felt sorry for me, and he wanted to help me by using his resources to try and turn my life around. He didn't think I was happy enough with him. He thought I needed Onee-sama to be happy… that I wasn't content how I was. He didn't think I could by happy on my own. He thought that Yumi Fukuzawa wasn't capable. He thought—

"You pity me…" I realized, my eyes slowly returning towards his. When I met his gaze, he shifted his eyes downward in avoidance. "That's it, isn't it? You pity me. You think I am not good enough of a person to get by without her."

"That's not what I mean." He said sternly, a hint of his old calmness returning to his voice.

"But you do pity me, Suguru!" I returned harshly. "You felt sorry for me then… and you still do now! All this time, after all we have been through… you still don't think of me as anything else that Sachiko's petite soeur!" His silence was enough of an answer for me. I clenched my hand tightly, feeling the sharp bite of the ring he gave me dig into my palm. "Remember this, Suguru Kashiwagi: I am not some mewling kitten that cannot live without Sachiko Ogasawara." I picked up my purse from the table and, as slowly and gently as I could, placed the ring between the two of us. "Find someone else to pity, Suguru." I whispered, my voice breaking. I gave him one last look, my lips trembling as I took in his blank visage, and walked out of the restaurant.

My life took a turn for the worse after Suguru and I 'broke up'. Onee-sama leaving was bad enough. I had felt my life was over after that. But, with the help of Suguru, as well as all my friends, I had built my life carefully back up to something livable. But once he was out of the picture, and the memories and feelings that had been threatening to come back from when Onee-sama left surged to the surface more powerful than ever, everything came slowly crashing down.

With Onee-sama, I was left with feelings of abandonment and uselessness. I felt that she didn't want me, didn't need me, and I didn't think I was good enough for her. If she really wanted me and needed me, she would have taken me with her, right?

When Suguru and I broke up, it was because he pitied me, thinking that I needed Sachiko to truly be happy. I was something poor… something to feel sorry for. A baby in need of someone to coddle it, to protect it and to keep it from harm.

But that wasn't true. Suguru misunderstood that one aspect about me. I could stand on my own. I didn't need Onee-sama to live. I wasn't something to baby- to protect. I wanted to live. I wanted to grow. I wanted to get over my weakness and my need for Onee-sama.

I just… I needed a little help doing it.

But it wasn't meant to be. Instead of help, I received pity and shattered hopes. I had almost climbed to the top of the mountain, only to be pushed back down lower than ever before.

The most hurtful thing… the secret I will keep to myself for as long as I live… is if Suguru had been serious… if he had honestly wanted to marry me, regardless of our sexual preferences and past feelings... if he had been willing to look past my own faults and weaknesses…

I would have said yes.

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Part 5

A strange sensation was the first thing that Yumi felt as her mind climbed its way back up to consciousness. It wasn't a very powerful sensation, but it was strange. It came from the area around her hip and caused her to stir. As she rolled her body around and felt a firm, slightly scratchy surface underneath her, it occurred to her that she was on the floor of her bedroom.

She slowly opened her eyes and squinted slightly, taking in the light from her bedroom fluorescent light directly above her. Just as she started to search her mind for why exactly she was on the floor of her bedroom, the strange feeling came again. It buzzed at her hip lightly, making Yumi jerk in surprise and reach her hand over to find whatever it was that was-

"Ahh!" Yumi cried as she tried moving her hand. Her whole body tensed in response to a flash of pain that shot up her arm from her hand. She looked down at her right hand and gasped when she saw it covered in dried bits of blood and, strangely enough, what looked like small cuts in the skin.

Suddenly, in a burst of recollection, she remembered what had happened. Yumi had passed out after coming back from seeing Suguru Kashiwagi. She couldn't really remember all the details of what happened exactly, but from the bits and pieces she could remember, and the lacerations covering her knuckles, she had a vague idea.

Her hip buzzed again, startling Yumi into reaching for the area with her left hand. It was an awkward motion, but it only took a few moments for Yumi to find what was making the sound.

Her phone.

Yumi pulled the device out of her back pocket, no mean trick without moving her injured hand around much, and set her head back down on the floor with a groan. She pressed the phone to her ear and answered it. "Touko?" She asked, guessing at the person actually calling her. The voice that came back was not Touko's.

"Ah?" A surprised, somewhat hesitant voice breathed into Yumi's ear. "N-no. I, uh... Yumi-san?"

Yumi lay there, staring up at the ceiling for a long moment, her mind trying to make sense of the voice. She sounded exactly like she remembered... exactly like what she should sound like, nine years after hearing her voice. But, even as the thought rolled over in her mind, Yumi knew who it really was. "Maya-san?" She asked again, her voice dry and raspy.

The other was quiet for a second, and then came back, slightly relieved. "Yes, it is me. I'm sorry, were you expecting another call?"

"No..." Yumi repled. She cleared her throat and took a deep, slow breath. "Sorry, you just surprised me a little."

"Oh." Maya said, her tone deflating slightly. "Is this a bad time?"

Yumi shook her head, her hair splaying out on the floor around her head with the action. "No, its fine." She said. She tried to flex her injured hand, and winced lightly in response. "I need the distraction, actually."

"Are you working?"

Yumi actually laughed; a raspy, choked laugh… but a laugh nonetheless. "I was earlier, but then I got distracted. What about you?"

Maya sighed into the phone, her voice coming in as an airy note into Yumi's ear. "I was until just a few minutes ago. I was getting nowhere and… well, I felt like talking to someone."

"And you decided to call me?" Yumi asked. She shut her eyes and grimaced to herself. She hadn't meant to sound accusing, and desperately hoped the older woman hadn't taken her words like that. Luckily, from the slightly embarrassed chuckle that came back through the phone, it seemed as though she hadn't.

"Is that weird?" She asked, giggling lightly.

"No, no…" Yumi soothed, ignoring the throb in her hand. Instead of focusing on that, she tried to turn her attention towards the voice in her ear. It was warm… friendly… familiar. "It's just… I was first on your list? What about your other friends?"

"Mmm." Maya hummed loudly, as if agreeing with the architect. "I could have. But, for some reason, I felt like talking to you." She laughed. "Sorry— that sounds kind of strange. What I meant to say was…" She trailed off, as if choosing her words. Yumi waited for a few quiet moments, wanting to hear her voice again. "You know what? I don't really know. I just wanted to talk to you."

Yumi smiled to herself, a warmth spreading through her body. She didn't know why suddenly made her so happy, but it did. It was as if the pain in her hand… the anger from earlier… the frustration at Sachiko and Suguru had never happened. Just a simple sentence from the woman—from that voice—was enough to take all the anxiety and negative feelings and bury them away where Yumi couldn't feel them.

It felt good.

"I wanted to talk to you too." Yumi said honestly. "In fact… are you free tomorrow? I could really, really use a coffee."

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End of Arc 1

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Updated 2/27/14 - Initial Update - (13,879 words *Longest chapter yet*)

A/N: Alright. So, first I wanna say to everyone that made it this far: *Congratulations!*

I fully realize I committed what is probably the biggest faux pas in all of MariMite fandom. I put Yumi and Suguru (of all people) together in a relationship. In fact, I don't recall ever seeing that pairing ever. Anywhere. But still... it happened. I did it for story purposes and characterization. I am hoping most people wont be bothered by that and continue to enjoy the story as it unfolds. And keep in mind that the story will still be about *Yumi* and her growth as a person by getting over her past (though, Maya will play a huge role in it).

Anyway, now that that's taken care of.

This is the end of the first story arc! Wooooo! All the major characters have been introduced, their general relationship to Yumi established, and the stage is set for the development of the story! Wow. It only took about 80,000 words and two-and-a-half months. Good start, Web, good start. If you feel like it, send me a PM or comment on how you feel about PatS so far. The end of the first arc seems like a good place for it, doesn't it?

Before I sign off, I wanna let peeps know that I will take a *short* hiatus from PatS to get caught up on some of my other projects. It won't be a very long break, only a few weeks long. During which time I will do some work on 1000 Faces of Yumi Fukuzawa as well as a request I got a few weeks ago that I started to pen out but haven't gotten that far into yet. It'll also give me some time to flesh out the second arc of PatS a bit before getting into it.

So! That's enough of that! Thanks soooo much all for reading up to this point! I totally, seriously luvs you like I love Pokemon! (which is a lot)

Peace!