Chapter 8: Saving A Seat

Tuesday, April 3, 2012, Yu's POV

At lunch, Sakura and Hitomi went out together, and I walked to their table. In a sea of almost identically dressed students, I could only find them with the directions Sakura had given me the previous day.

"Hi, girls," I said. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure thing, Yu-kun," Sakura said. "There's always a seat open for you at our table. Right, Hitomi-san?"

Sakura eagerly smiled, but that faded when Hitomi let off a sigh and turned to me.

"Narukami-kun," Hitomi said. "I believe I said yesterday that it would be easier for me if I never saw you again."

"Easier doesn't necessarily mean better," I said. "I was honestly happy to see you again after so long, and sad when you said you might be going out of my life for good. Isn't it at least possible that you feel the same?"

"I do," Hitomi said hesitantly. "But all the same, it's not something I have any choice over."

"I didn't think so," I said. "Then again, I hardly think your folks would complain if you had lunch with another friend for today, or that they even need to find out."

"Yu-kun's right, Hitomi-san," Sakura said. "It'd be nice to have lunch with two friends, rather than just one."

Hitomi glanced at Sakura for a moment, and with a sigh, nodded.

"Very well, he may join us," Hitomi said.

As I nodded and said "Thanks," I knew well enough that Hitomi had only acceded to my request reluctantly, and for the sake of humoring our mutual friend. Her saying yes for those reasons made me feel as though I was selfishly imposing on her, but for now, it was good enough. Perhaps, if all went well, the next time she said yes would be wholehearted.

After eating for a little while, Hitomi took the initiative in striking up a conversation.

"So, Narukami-kun," Hitomi said, "how have Asahina-kun and Nishizawa-kun fared?"

I was tempted to say "Why don't you ask them yourself?" since, even after a year away, it had only taken me a few minutes to find Kaoru and Kenji at lunch and in the library, respectively. On the other hand, though, I believed answering that question nicely fit into my purpose for coming, so I saw no reason not to give it.

"Kind of like you, in a sense," I said. "They're working on their own pursuits, although I worry that their lives will soon be swallowed by them."

"I see," Hitomi said in an unusually somber tone. "It is not surprising to hear that."

"You don't seem happy to hear that," I said. "Haven't you already resigned yourself to saying goodbye to us?"

Hitomi paused for a moment, taken aback by having what she said thrown back in her face so bluntly, but soon regained her composure and responded.

"I had," Hitomi said, "but at the same time, I'd hoped that the four of you would remain close even if I could no longer see you. Surely you felt the same, Narukami-kun?"

I nodded. I'd essentially been faced with this question many times in the past. My departure had always left a hole in the groups of friends that I'd had at my old schools, but I hoped those holes would never tear those groups apart.

"I did," I said. "When I went to Inaba, I'd hoped that you'd be able to carry on without me if I couldn't come back or we didn't end up reconnecting. Just because one of us leaves doesn't mean that the other four have to stop being friends, right?"

Hitomi and shook her head, while Sakura let out a sigh.

"You know, Yu-kun, you were probably the core holding our group together," Sakura said. "You were a kind person, willing to listen to others. You were intelligent, level-headed and grounded. You weren't too focused on one thing, and could bring a lot of normal conversation topics to the table. The four of us- or at least I- definitely appreciated that."

"I actually felt that way, too, Sakura-san," Hitomi said. "The four of you were my window on the world, in a sense, helping me see how ordinary people lived, and relating to me without taking my social status into account. You and Narukami-kun were probably the best in that regard, being the most normal in many ways."

I was taken aback for a moment, not having expected to hear this. Since I changed schools so often, and didn't get especially close with most people, I generally only used the word "friend" somewhat loosely when describing myself in relation to others, or vice versa. I was a bit touched to hear that I might have been somewhat closer to my old friends than I'd thought, but I realized that if Hitomi was right, it was more like they were somewhat dependent on me.

"I never realized that," I said. "At the very least, I didn't want to think of things that way."

"Why not?" Hitomi said.

"For the same reason why you weren't happy to hear about Kaoru and Kenji drifting away from each other and the rest of the gang," I said. "I think I told you this before, but this isn't the first school I've had to transfer out of, or the first friends that I had to leave behind. The idea that they could move on with their lives and stay friends with each other once I was gone was a comforting one"

Hitomi nodded. I think she was starting to understand how I felt about this, which was an encouraging sign.

"But to play Devil's Advocate, Yu-kun, Hitomi-san," Sakura said, "doesn't the idea of your friends forgetting you and moving on feel depressing?"

Hitomi paused, but I immediately shook my head.

"I don't think of it that way, Sakura," I said. "My friends in Inaba became a tight-knit group over the course of the year I lived there, but they also had strong connections with each other- for example, Chie Satonaka and Yukiko Amagi, two of the girls in my class, had been best friends since they were kids. As such, when I left, they, at least thus far, have kept in contact with me. It's like they're all eating together at the same table, but they're leaving a seat open for me for when I come back, still thinking of me as part of the group even if I'm not physically present."

Hitomi had a bittersweet smile on her face, but it faded as she let off a wistful sigh.

"Narukami-kun described how I feel quite eloquently," Hitomi said, "save for the part in which he holds out hope of rejoining his friends from Inaba. Our lives take us down separate paths from our friends, and on some paths, there is no possibility of going back or meeting up with the paths that have diverged from ours."

"I can't really deny that," I said. "But at the same time, I can't deny how I feel, either- sad that you and the others are going your separate ways now that I've gotten to see you all again. I mean, it was probably a bit naive to think we could just go back to the way we were before, but I hoped we could, and that you all would feel the same way."

Upon hearing that, Hitomi hung her head, and awkward silence ensued for a few moments. I had no idea what she could say to that, and neither did she. Sakura wasn't much better off, either, as she glanced from one of us to the other, but often looked down at her food, which was almost eaten by this point.

"Say, Hitomi," I said, "I notice you and Sakura have started using first names on each other."

Hitomi blushed slightly, but Sakura chuckled. There had once been a time when Sakura had been the timid one of our group, but now that she'd become more confident, she was significantly more outgoing than the fairly reserved Hitomi.

"I kind of insisted on doing so," Sakura said. "It felt a bit odd that we were so formal with each other in spite of how close we were, so I asked if we could switch to first names while still using honorifics. Hitomi-san was surprisingly receptive, but I couldn't have worked up the nerve to ask her if I hadn't gotten to know you, or if you hadn't made that request of me."

I couldn't help but smile. Friendship involves a certain amount of respect for each other's, but there are times when it might be in your best interests to say no or to make a bold request. I'd done both by asking to eat with Hitomi after she said she would have to cut ties with me, so the latter would be a relatively easy step to take.

"Well, Hitomi, why don't you do the same for me?" I said.

"I'll... think about it," Hitomi said.

Eventually, lunch ended, and I got up to throw out my garbage before Sakura and I returned to our class, and Hitomi returned to hers.

"Yu-kun," Hitomi said, and I paused upon hearing the sound of Hitomi speaking my first name. "I still believe that following my parents' wishes and getting married is what I want to do, and still know that doing so will require me to obey my husband and his family in all things. All the same, though, I'm grateful for you coming to see me today. Can we do so at least until I graduate?"

"You bet," I said with a smile.

"Thank you," Hitomi said. "Then I will see you tomorrow, Yu-kun, Sakura-san."

With a nod, I exchanged goodbyes with Hitomi before Sakura and I returned to class.


Afternoon

I went to my afternoon classes with a spring in my step, seeing this as a victory of sorts. Every time my friends and I had saved a victim from the TV, we had not necessarily come closer to finding the truth, but for the moment, we had averted another tragedy and saved someone's life- that of a daughter, a son, a granddaughter, a friend, a little sister, and the many others things people could be to those they knew. Similarly, while it was still possible that Hitomi would say goodbye to us at the end of the year, having her around for now was quite comforting.

"You know, Yu-kun," Sakura said, "this is probably the happiest I've seen Hitomi-san in months."

"Really?" I said. For me, Hitomi's mood in the past year was like how high school was when my parents were students- in other words, something I could only realize through hearing from others. I was somewhat afraid that Hitomi thought of me as a nuisance, so this was something that I wanted to believe, even if it wasn't entirely easy for me to do so.

"Yes," Sakura said. "This may only be my interpretation, but she spent the past year preparing to say goodbye to me, as well as the other two. Your return gave her the idea that our separation wasn't necessarily inevitable, although it was tantalizing. But talking with you again is proof that even if the good old days can't come back, she can enjoy them while she can. At least that's what I think."

"That sounds pretty convincing to me, Sakura," I said with a smile. "But what about you?"

"I'm also very happy," Sakura said. "I've made some friends of my own outside this class, but I'll always treasure the first ones I made at this school."

Sakura's sentiment was touching, since it was similar to what I felt about this, and perhaps what Hitomi felt, as well. Of course, unless my other friends shared this belief, or at least something similar to it, our efforts to reconnect would go nowhere.

That said, today had been fruitful, and even if my goal was still far off, I had made noticeable progress in reaching out to Hitomi. Things were far from how they wanted them to be, but I was in a good position at the moment, so I could turn my mind to other pursuits for the afternoon.


After school, I entered the faculty office and spoke with Ms. Takizawa about joining a club. Clubs weren't mandatory at this school any more than they were at Yasogami, but I wanted something productive to do with my afternoons, since all my friends were doing the same.

The only question was where to start. Obviously, I wanted something suited to what I already knew how to do, which eliminated most of the obscure or specialized clubs, and for now, I decided to start with the ones I had been part of at Yasogami. Since the basketball team was beyond my abilities, I decided to ask about the drama club.

"You're in luck, Narukami-kun," Ms. Takizawa said, when I asked her about it. "I happen to be the faculty advisor for the drama club. We're always willing to have new members, although we can't guarantee you a role in a play any more than I could for my own niece."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a family photo on Ms. Takizawa's desk, in which she stood with a man, a woman and a teenage girl. The adults were wearing suits, while the girl was wearing her uniform, giving the photo a bit of a formal look to it.

"That's understandable, Sensei," I said, "as well as perfectly fine with me. When and where does the club meet?"

"The club meets in the drama room on the first floor of the practice building," Ms. Takizawa said, "on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, except for just before exams. You're expected to attend regularly, but we do realize that you will be quite busy as a third-year."

I had to wonder whether the apparent fact that Ms. Takizawa expected very little of someone like me had something to do with it. It would obviously be a problem if the club president or the best performer didn't show up, but hardly anyone would miss a third-year with relatively little experience.

Still, if I had a role to play for the club- even if it wasn't in a play- I would play it to the best of my ability.

"So, Narukami-kun," Ms. Takizawa said. "Are you interested?"

"Yes, ma'am," I said.

"Good," Ms. Takizawa said. "Head to the club room and talk with the president, Sayuri Sakamoto. She looks like this."

Ms. Takizawa pointed to the girl in the photo.

"I understand," I said. "Thank you very much, Sensei. I will be going now."

With a bow, I left the office.


I followed Ms. Takizawa's directions and headed to the drama club room.

The club seemed significantly higher-budget than the Yasogami drama club. The room was not only decently sized, but also had a great deal more in it, from changing booths to storage closets.

Upon entering, I did a cursory glance and noticed that most of the club members were female, as there was a roughly three to one ratio of skirts to trousers. Per the dress code, all the drama club students practiced in their uniforms, except for dress rehearsals shortly before the play, which led to some surreal results. A princess garbed in silks and a beggar clad in rags wore the same thing. In the summer, a girl from a frozen climate would be portrayed by a girl with a knee-length skirt and short-sleeved dress shirt. The part in Julius Caesar in which the titular character "plucked me ope his doublet" (already anachronistic) would likely refer to a student- most likely a girl- unbuttoning the collar of her dress shirt and loosening her necktie. The list went on and on.

Not long after I stepped in, the assembled members turned to me. Since there were only a handful of boys around, and I didn't look like any of them, I was clearly a newcomer, so I took the initiative and introduced myself.

"Hello, I'm Yu Narukami, a third year and a prospective member," I said. "Is President Sakamoto around?"

A girl stepped forward, and took off a wig as she did. Her hair was boyishly short, and if not for the fact that she had a skirt, and I recognized her from the picture, I would have mistaken her for a boy.

"I am she," the president said. "Au...Ms. Takizawa told me that we might have a new member, so I'd be happy to bring you aboard."

"Thank you," I said. "Ms. Takizawa told me a little about this, but where will we get started?"

"Let's start with the basics," the president said. "We'll practice various voice acting techniques and do line readings, since we're not ready to do a play yet."

"Sounds like a good start," I said. "Out of curiosity, how exactly do people get roles here?"

"Audition, mainly," the president said. "But be warned- the competition's pretty fierce here. Out of curiosity, have you played any roles before?"

"Back at my old school, I was chosen once as the male lead," I said, "but... some things came up with my female counterpart."

"I see," the president said. "To be honest, that puts you at a significant disadvantage against most of the rest of us, since even some of the first-years have done acting before. That said, so long as you're willing to work hard, we'd love to have you as a fellow member, practice buddy, and possible understudy."

That prospect was acceptable for me. I'd largely only done practice in my time at the club, and while I had experience, it didn't compare to those who had spent two years working seriously on it.

But even so, I enjoyed it. Acting had been a good fit for me in many ways. To be able to portray a character well, you must know the character well, and how to express the various emotions they feel. Yumi Azawa, my friend from the drama club, had once described it as becoming someone other than herself- something she initially enjoyed, but later realized she could not do. It was something of a shame that she was turning her back on it, since she seemed fairly talented at and serious about it, but I was glad that Yumi was broadening her horizons, and believed that a girl with her talent and dedication could find many doors would be open to her in life

I couldn't go back to the Yasogami High School drama club, but this club was a valuable opportunity for a similarly enjoyable experience that was not merely reliving old memories.


After the club ended, the president walked up to me and struck up a conversation. I appreciated the gesture, even if I wasn't sure whether it was one she did for all new members, or just for me.

"It's fun, President," I said. "It's a bit better organized and less laid back than the last one, where the president often flirted with his girlfriend during club session. I wonder if I was a big fish in a small pond back then."

"Who knows?" the president said. "That said, you've exceeded expectations of 'the new guy' thus far. You'll obviously have to surpass far stricter expectations if you want a part, but it's still quite possible."

"That's good to hear," I said. "Might it be possible that there's less competition for the male roles?"

The president paused to think.

"From guys? Yes," the president said. "From girls? You'll have your work cut out for you, since gender isn't necessarily a barrier to playing roles here."

"Really?" I said. "You sound like you're familiar with something like this happening."

"You could say that," the president said. "I went to an all-girls middle school and took part in the club there. We did Twelfth Night once, and one of my friends was Viola while I was Orsino. I got the idea of cutting my hair short from my friend, who told me about how early Shakespearean theater companies had to put boys into female roles, because women weren't allowed to act back then."

The president seemed to relax somewhat as we spoke, as many people I knew did when discussing their passions. One's interests were not always shared, but being able to talk about something you found fascinating was often a good icebreaker, and a way that helped me to get closer to those who were otherwise difficult to approach.

"You really seem excited about this, President," I said. "With a leader this passionate, the club will follow suit. It's nice to be in a club like this, even if there is more competition."

"Thanks, but you don't have to call me by my title outside of the club," the president said. "My title is only truly in effect while the club is in session. If I'm not wearing my uniform, not in school, or not around anyone from the club, feel free to call me Sayuri."

"Sure thing, Sayuri," I said. "The same goes for you."

"I'll keep that in mind, Yu-san," Sayuri said. "I hope to see you again on Thursday."

"I'll see you then," I said, before I left.


On the way out of school, I chanced upon Kaoru coming from the gymnasium. Since he'd apparently been delayed by having to change from his basketball uniform to his school uniform, I could see why he thought that the rule requiring uniforms when traveling to and from school had to go.

"Hi, Kaoru," I said.

"Hey, Yu," he said. "I didn't know you stuck around school this late."

"I have to when drama club's in session," I said, "since I joined the club just today. It's not like I'm going to get a lead role or anything, but I might as well give it my all."

"Ah," Kaoru said. "I suppose that kind of effort means something different for you than it does for me. If I was into acting, rather than sports, I'd go for the biggest role I could manage, although I'd take any they offered me. It's what I owe to the club as well as myself, after all."

Some would consider Kaoru arrogant, but I noticed that while he was supremely confident in himself, he also wanted to be of use to his team. Perhaps that was why he didn't think much of those who were milquetoasts by comparison, like the kind of person I used to be, and one member of Yasogami's band I heard about, since he didn't think they were doing as well as they could. I had to wonder if this was his own way of encouraging them to try harder.

"Well, the club isn't short on people who are good at and serious about acting," I said. "I had a nice chat with the president, so I'll probably get to know people in the club."

"Good," Kaoru said. "I'm also hanging out with the guys on my team, and getting to know some people I'd barely talked with before."

I paused. Evidently, I'd given him the wrong impression- that I had started to move on to my own circle of friends outside our group, just as he had. Of course, even if I'd phrased it optimally, it still didn't change the reality that he was starting to hang out with other people, so the only thing I could do was deliver my invitation.

"Oh, and..." I said. "I've started eating with Sakura and Hitomi again. They'd love to have you join them."

"I'll think about it," he said, "although I generally eat with the guys from the team."

I paused, and most likely had a slightly surprised and fairly disappointed expression on my face.

"Ok," I said. "I'll see if I can get Kenji to join, and if the two of you do, it'll be just like old times."

Kaoru looked discomfited for a moment. Perhaps he believed that to me, his distancing himself from us to hang out with his team came off as a bit like a guy abandoning his friends to get close to the "in crowd." Perhaps he believed that his decision would be harder to defend now that Hitomi and Kenji, whose situations were similar to his in some ways, had chosen to rejoin us.

Whatever his reasons were, I hoped he wouldn't read too much into what I was asking him. The three of us were simply meeting to eat together and make small talk. It wasn't deep or meaningful enough to violate the taboos against Hitomi spending too much time with other guys, nor was it long enough that it took time away from Kenji's study schedule. Of course, when I thought that it wasn't too much to ask, I couldn't help but be disappointed that he and some of my old friends were hesitant to even do that much.

Saying goodbye to Kaoru, I started to return home.


Evening

Over dinner, I told my parents a little about the drama club.

"I'm a bit surprised, Yu," my dad said. "I didn't think that you'd be willing to join a club like that, knowing full well what the odds against you continuing it at college or later in life were."

"Well, it's not really that surprising, Dad," I said. "I used to be in the drama club at Yasogami, so I decided to join a club like it. I didn't do all that much for it, but it was fun, and I met one of my friends over there."

"That makes sense," Dad said. "I suppose that I'm essentially thinking a bit along the lines of what I did when I was young."

"In what way?" I said. Dad had told me a fair number of stories from his youth, but I didn't know which one was relevant, or if it was one he hadn't shared with me.

"When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a movie star," my dad said. "I memorized the lines to my favorite shows, recited them like the actual voice actors did, and convinced myself I was pretty good at it."

"Well, I can kind of see where that comes from," I said. When Dad read me stories when I was a kid, he always had a talent for portraying the characters, from the princess with an angelic voice to the deep, guttural tones of the dragon that had kidnapped her. Even after all those years, he still had at least some of the talent he once possessed.

"All that ended when I went to an audition for a teenage boy actor that was being held in my city," my dad said. "The first thing I noticed when I got to the place was line, which stretched across the block. I knew, even then, that every person in it was my rival, and not only did I have to wait for all those boys to get done, I had to outdo all of them."

"How'd you do?" I said.

"Surprisingly enough, I managed to get a grip and give an acceptable performance," my dad said, "which, unfortunately, was the extent of my ability. I never heard back from the producers, which was unsurprising- they made it clear that they owed nothing to those who didn't make the cut."

"What happened after that?" I said.

"When I got to high school, I considered joining the drama club, but saw that it was too large and had too stiff competition, I decided against it," my dad said. "I then put my nose to the grindstone, got into a good college, and married your mother, here, whose path in young adulthood had been similar to mine."

"Only to a point, dear," my mom said. "Since I was the first woman in my family to work outside the home in a career more prestigious than an office lady, my grandparents were surprised at my career path, even if they were proud that I was a good student and an upstanding citizen. I think that was enough defying convention for my tastes."

"True," my dad said. "But all the same, you didn't try for a career in which so few can succeed."

It was somewhat depressing to hear all this from my dad. He'd taken a shot at his dream and failed, but that wasn't the main problem. The odds discouraged him, and the fact that he had failed to overcome them was only proof of that.

Of course, his story did have a point. Out of the five of us, and even my seven friends in Inaba, Kaoru had the steepest odds against his dream. By comparison, Kenji was aiming to go into business, Sakura hoped to be a civil servant, and Hitomi was almost predestined to become a housewife- she even had a husband lined up. Even Rise making a comeback as an idol was more likely than Kaoru making his debut as a basketball player, since she had more to work with than he did.

That said, as someone who had battled against a goddess, I had no room to criticize him for taking on a challenge in which the odds were against him. In fact, I even found it admirable that he would try for something like that, provided he had a backup plan.


Later that night, I got a call from Rise, which was the first time I'd talked with her since leaving Inaba.

"Hi, senpai!" Rise said. "Sorry I didn't call you earlier, but I've been fairly busy."

"It's all right," I said. "I remember you saying that getting your career back on track would be difficult."

"It is, but it's not as hard as I imagined," Rise said. "For one thing, Inoue-san's managing me again, and he's being really supportive. I once thought that he only said what he did so I would do what he wanted, but after I'd rejected him for the final time, he had nothing to lose, so his statement was one that I could believe. The other part is that I've faced these odds before, and they no longer scare me."

"Right, when you got chosen after that application that one of your relatives sent in was accepted," I said. "What was it like back then?

Rise paused, remembering that she'd given me an answer to that before, but knowing that it would be different now, partly because the question had changed from last time, and partly because she had, too.

"How do I put it?" Rise said. "Disregarding the fact that I'd already passed the first 'gatekeeper,' as Inoue-san put it, I, despite my reluctance, saw it as an incredibly rare opportunity I could use. The particulars of how I feel might have changed over time, but that's still essentially true, and I'm glad that my career isn't gone for good. Even if it's hard work, I feel more enthusiastic than I did before, possibly because I actually want to do it now."

"I see," I said. "I'm glad that you're once again happy with yourself. If nothing else, you're certainly luckier than my dad, who, after one failed audition against a lot of boys his age, turned away from his dream of becoming an actor and never looked back."

"You could say that," Rise said. "Back then, I didn't have the confidence to even try something like that, so it really was largely due to luck that I got the opportunity."

"But you do have talent, just like Inoue-san said," I said. Rise giggled cheerfully into the phone. "I'm a bit worried about my friend Kaoru, though."

"Oh, one of those old friends the other senpais told me about?" Rise said.

"Yeah," I said. "He has his heart set on being an athlete, but at the same time, it's possible that his failure- which, of course, is very likely- will crush him."

"I don't know what to say," Rise said. "I was heartbroken when I realized what I'd lost and what it meant to me, but I was prepared to start again, perhaps even settling for less if I had to. I suppose that's the only advice I can give to your friend, since it's the only thing I knew how to do about my situation."

I paused to consider what Rise had said. It sounded as though she was referring to her idol career, but I couldn't help but wonder if she had me in mind, since I'd implicitly rejected her as a girlfriend when I had stood there as she cried.

In the end, though, Rise seemed like a strong girl, one who could start over in life and in love. Someday, she would no longer be an idol, but I was certain that she would find something she could do with her life. Similarly, I was also certain she could find someone who cherished Rise, as well as Risette, and loved all the sides she had to her.

I then had to wonder whether, for better or worse, my and my friends' paths in life would take us where we expected. Kaoru's confidence and Hitomi's resignation had their bases, but the outcomes they hoped for or feared weren't necessarily set in stone. Perhaps things wouldn't go as smoothly as we desired, but perhaps our parting ways wasn't inevitable.


Author's Notes

Thank you for the favorites

Yu's workload may seem like an case of telling but not showing, but there are a few things to keep in mind. First, while he's busy, he's not completely booked solid, so he still has time for his friends and extracurriculars.

Rise's role is more limited in this fic, possibly because she'll be spending so much of it working on her career as an idol.

I also put up a poll on my profile asking which original character is your favorite so far, and I'd appreciate it if you voted.