Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters find themselves in. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

Out To Dinner

Both amused and blown away over the situation he found himself in, Eggsy leaned back against the plush leather seating of the booth and marveled over this rather unexpected turn of events. He'd known there was a chance he would end up meeting Merlin's father, but he certainly hadn't expected to find himself having dinner with the man. The Kingsman legend was sitting right across from him with Merlin, while Harry had slid in beside him so that he was effectively boxed in unless he was willingly to crawl under the table in a futile attempt to flee. But yeah, it definitely said something when Merlin was the one he was least aware of, since he'd spent the last three years seeing for himself just how badass Merlin could be when push came to shove.

But this was Ian fucking McNab. The greatest Kingsman to ever don the signet ring. The man who'd invented some of the wickedest gadgets of his time; some of which they still used in his own time and were personal favorites of Eggsy's. This man had made Kingsman what it was, everyone said so, and had mentored not only his own son, but Harry AND Gawain too, all three of the men heroes in Eggsy's eyes even if he wouldn't normally admit that outloud. This was the man who had helped with the solving of the Enigma Code for fuck sakes, though that had been left out of the Benedict Cumberbatch movie because that part was still classified, obviously. And it was because of him that Eggsy's dad had even been able to try out to become a Kingsman, the Scotsman changing the rules so that you didn't have to be from a 'good' family with the proper pedigree to apply.

And if that wasn't reason enough for him to think the man was utterly brilliant, Merlin's dad had also requested that the dog shooting thing not be a test the two times there had been a position open after the man had finally agreed to take over as Arthur.

So yeah, Ian McNab was the sickest in Eggsy's point of view, and it was killing him not to totally fangirl over him and ask him all sorts of questions about his prior missions. He'd heard about them from the others of course, they all had stories about him, but to hear it from the man himself…

"Out of idle curiosity, would ye stop making eyes at my father if I mentioned he wasn't a homosexual?"

Blinking, and slow to process Merlin's words, Eggsy just stared at him for a long moment before just blurting out what he was thinking. "Ahhh…given his heart condition and all I'd have to be suicidal to try and sleep with him, wouldn't I? If I killed him in the throes you'd hunt me down like a rabid dog and then draw and quarter me. Hell, you'd do that even if he survived."

As the whole idea sank in Eggsy actually paled noticeably, the idea of Merlin thinking he was sexually interested in his father downright terrifying. That would be a bazillion times worse than having to admit to Merlin that he'd slept with Harry. Death would not come quickly enough.

Chuckling, Kingsman's current Arthur just looked amused.

Harry, when Eggsy glanced in his direction, did not look amused at all.

"I wasn't…I swear on my father's grave I wasn't hittin on yer dad or thinkin of doing that." Eggy forced his gaze back to Merlin, toughening it out as he hoped his sincerity was in his eyes. "It's just that your dad is…well your fucking dad. The greatest Kingsman to ever live. It's an honor, Sir. I'm just so fucking jacked to meet you. And hell, sorry for the language." Eggsy belatedly tacked on, his cheeks and ears flushing in embarrassment.

"I'm flattered."

"And just what have you heard about my father, exactly?"

Stating that that was classified, what else could he say after all, Eggsy turned his attention to taking a healthy sip of his Guinness while mentally praying that their meals would arrive shortly, so that he'd have an excuse to stuff his face rather than talk. Plus he'd eaten here more times than he could count with the other Kingsmen, and knew the steaks were a thing of legend too.

Not being an idiot though, Eggsy knew he needed to redirect the conversation until said food arrived. And with that in mind he turned to look at Harry, deliberately giving his mentor a sexy little look under his lashes as he stated that Harry could stop giving him looks, as he was the only Kingsman he intended to go home with tonight.

The look Harry leveled in his direction made Eggsy think that the only attention Harry might intend to pay his arse in the near future was to paddle it raw. Ouch.

"That remains to be seen."

"What? You're going to send me home with one of them instead?" Eggsy aimed his hurt puppy dog eyes in Harry's direction now, while under the table he rested a hand on the man's thigh, though he kept it somewhat proper since he didn't want Harry to stab him with a fork or something.

Grabbing Eggsy's wrist under the table, Harry removed it while pointedly stating that he was to behave himself.

Since it had been obvious Harry had relayed the nature of his and Harry's interactions thus far, the other two Kingsman had both referred to him as Harry's on the walk over here when they'd tried to pump him for information, Eggsy didn't see why he should have to behave himself. Especially since it was in his best interests to make it appear that he was so enamored with Harry that he'd never harm a hair on the man's perfectly coiffured head.

So he put his hand back, grinning when Harry removed it again.

)

As tempting as it was to lace his fingers with the boy's so that he could insure those clever fingers stayed the hell off his thigh, Harry resisted the urge seeing as he didn't want his dominant hand immobilized that way. So he was stuck simply running interference until his boss drawled out the observation that the boy reminded him of an American spy by the name of Tanner, who he'd met while on assignment in the sixties. That had the boy's attention immediately focusing solely on Arthur as he asked if he was serious, eyes all lit up and a delighted grin taking over his face.

That he didn't care for the boy's obvious admiration and hero worship where Arthur was concerned was disconcerting on a number of levels. Still, Harry was reasonably sure that his face betrayed nothing as Arthur described the mission to his rapt audience, the boy's attention so complete and focused that Harry was fairly sure that he could pull a gun on the boy and he wouldn't be noticed.

The light kick Merlin gave him under the table had Harry turning his gaze to meet Merlin's, the hint of amusement in his best friend's eyes tempting Harry to kick the smug bastard back. With a great deal more force behind it. Naturally Merlin seemed to know what he was thinking, and was amused by it judging from the hint of a smirk he spotted. That was almost as grating as the way the boy was completely ignoring him in favor of a man who was practically old enough to be his grandfather.

Not that Arthur's stories weren't fantastic and entertaining, the man was a born storyteller after all and loved to regal fellow agents with his tales. But still, Harry was sure that he'd never acted so utterly bestowed when he was the boy's age.

The story in question was nearing completion when the couple in the booth beside theirs started to raise their voices, enough that their conversation was quite understandable and loud enough that it was distracting from the tale Ian was spinning.

An engaged couple who were fighting over the details of the upcoming wedding, the four of them all realized very quickly, the main problem being the future groom's lack of interest in contributing anything to the planning. He seemed to think that all he should need to do was get his suit and stand where he was told, which Harry knew to be a dangerous mindset to have having been in a few weddings over the years as a groomsman.

Head cocked to the side, the boy winced as he stated what they were all thinking. "Well he's fucking things up good and proper."

On cue the sound of a drink being set down hard on a wood surface reached all their ears, then the woman was stating she was going to the bathroom before walking past their table moments later with a look on her face that made it clear it had taken an extreme amount of self-control on her part not to throw her glass at her idiot man's head.

Feeling his seat companion shift at his side, Harry turned his head to watch the boy actually go up on his knees and lean over the top of the booth to address the groom to be.

What was even more surprising though was the fact that the boy was soon giving the unseen man in the next booth what sounded like pretty decent advice about how to handle the fire he'd jumped into. Not that Harry was surprised that the boy knew quite a bit about talking his way back into someone's good graces, that didn't surprise him at all, but the practical advice about the wedding planning did have him raising an eyebrow in the boy's direction.

Of course the position the boy was currently in put his pert rear on display too, so that was a little distracting and pretty much guaranteed that Harry had to make himself shift his gaze upward so that he didn't ogle it while they had an audience.

The personal information the boy was giving them wasn't really useful, but Harry stowed it away anyway, just in case it proved useful. Apparently the boy had a female best friend, had been Man of Honor at her wedding, and had been traumatized within an inch of his life helping her plan the bloody thing. Weddings, in the boy's opinion, turned even the sanest, most rational of women into mad, short tempered lunatics.

"So yeah, you have to have opinions because they'll go for your throat if ya don't. And yeah, odds are she'll shoot your ideas down and go into a rant about how you have no taste, and you have to suck that up as well. But most importantly, and you literally can't tell her this enough, you have to tell her that all you care about really is getting married to her because you love her and you want to marry her before she realizes that she could do so much better than you, etc etc. Do that and you'll make it to the honeymoon sex, I guarantee it."

"She's coming back."

"Crud." Immediately the boy was spinning around and settling back into his seat, giving Harry a wink of thanks for the warning as the woman in question walked past their table to retake her seat.

And as ordered the would be groom immediately launched into the apology speech he'd been given, pulling it off fairly well in their listeners' opinions, to the point where his bride to be apologized too, for snapping at him.

Merlin shook his head. "Where were you when I was getting married."

There was the oddest gleam in the boy's eyes as he assured Merlin that if he wanted to renew his vows in the future he'd have his back.

"So did doing your duty as Man of Honor put you off marrying yourself, J.B.?" Arthur inquired.

"Nah. I took notes and I even have a binder at home with all the info in there. If I ever propose or get proposed to I have everything from the first song to the buffet over sit down planned out. The only hitch will be the fits my mum and mother in law will have when they realize they aren't needed less whoever I'm marrying wants to plan things his or her way. But even then I can just hand over my binder and they can take from it what they want and leave me the fuck out of it as much as possible."

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack." The boy informed Harry, and then winced at his bad choice in expressions. He then sent an apologetic look in Arthur's direction, which the other man waved away good naturedly before asking the boy what his first song choice was.

"It's an American one, not well known or nothing. You've likely never heard of it. And that's one of the ones that is definitely not set in stone, especially since I'd think we'd have a song, being a couple and all, and if that wasn't the song then our first dance as a married couple should be our actual song. If that makes sense." The boy's face scrunched up rather adorably as he tried to figure out if he'd explained that right.

"So is anything actually set in stone?" Harry asked, genuinely curious. Obviously the boy would have to go to another country where it would be legal for him to marry another man if that was the case, but the rest…he wouldn't have taken the boy for the marrying sort. Or at least not the type to be thinking about it seriously at his present age.

"Other than Rox being my Best Mate or Matron of Honor, and my sister in the wedding party as well since she'd never forgive me otherwise…nah, the rest is negotiable. Oh, and no butterflies or doves or that sort of thing. That's just mental."

"Is your sister older or younger than you? You strike me as the youngest in your family."

A devious grin was the boy's response to the insinuation that he'd been the spoiled baby in his family. "Then you'd be wrong, Harry, as I'm the oldest of two. The kiddo ain't even in the double digits yet."

"A late in life baby." Merlin commented. "She must have come as quite a surprise."

"To say the least."

The discussion stalling for the moment, their waitress having arrived to hand over their food, the four all thanked her politely with the older ones all looking at the boy when he asked for ketchup for his chips.

"What? I'm not putting it on the steak." The boy scowled at their pointed stares, going so far as to point a threatening finger in Merlin's direction. "And don't you even think of lecturing me about what's in the stuff or how I'm ruining perfectly good chips, Merlin. I like them with ketchup, and they're my chips."

"You act as though you know me."

"Maybe I do."

)

The rest of the meal went relatively well as far as Eggsy could tell, or at least the three men didn't seem terribly irked when he continued to sidestep their attempts to make him spill his guts. For his part it was hard to remember that this Merlin wasn't his Merlin, or at least not technically. He was used to being in this place with his former trainer after all, shooting the breeze after a mission or just him dragging the older man out to get some food into him since Merlin often skipped too many meals if someone wasn't around to shove food in front of him. But this Merlin wasn't his friend, and he most definitely couldn't get too comfortable here. Even with Harry beside him, which was both soothing and really not. He was still feeling last night after all.

When dinner was over Arthur insisted on putting the meal on his tab, Eggsy protesting this but was quickly overruled. It was annoying really, but Arthur promised that he could pick up the bill next time which Eggsy liked the sound of. Maybe he could get more stories, especially about Gawain. Blackmail material on his occasional missions' partner and friend was always appreciated.

Once that was taken care of they all headed out together and started back in the direction of the tailor shop. The night was a little cool but it was nice enough, especially since Eggsy had to admit that he liked just walking side by side with Harry again, like they were just two regular blokes. It would almost be like a double date, Eggsy mused, if not for the fact that Merlin and Arthur were father and son.

Grinning at the thought Eggsy was tempted to take Harry's hand in his, maybe swing them a little bit, but unfortunately he couldn't risk not being able to easily reach his weapons. Best to keep both hands at the ready, just in case they ran into trouble.

"So do you both need a ride home?" Arthur asked them casually, he and Merlin walking behind them.

"I have a car parked nearby, so I can get us both back to Harry's place no problem. But thank you for the offer."

"The lorry you were driving around in today?"

"Please, as if I would ever force you to be seen in one of those, Darling." Eggsy grinned at Harry cheekily. "I'll be chauffeuring you around in an Aston Martin DB5." Kingsman was paying for it after all, and he'd always wanted to drive one.

"Bond's car."

"It most certainly is."

The amused look Harry gave him made Eggsy grin that much wider, pleased that Harry was pleased.

"So should I take that smile to mean that you aren't going to fight with me about where I'll be staying tonight? Seeing as I am driving you home and all."

"Do you expect to be given room and board for every ride home you give?"

"I'd be happy to get us a hotel room if you'd prefer that, Harry."

Merlin's chuckle had Harry turning his head to give his friend a hard look before Harry was once again giving Eggsy his full attention.

"Someone has to keep you in line. It would appear, until Arthur says otherwise, that I'm stuck with the job."

"Excellent."