Chapter 8: Fate Or Mistake?
I stood in the classroom with my back to the students, trying to control my shaking and slow my breathing.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't bear to stand in the same room as him after what had happened yesterday.
Our kiss had been running through my mind since the second it ended. I knew it was wrong, but the fact that made my heart squeeze uncontrollably was that I hated that it had stopped, I hated that I couldn't kiss him again.
I seriously needed help.
I considered talking to Alison about it, but I knew that would be a big mistake, no-one could ever know what happened between me and Edward.
Nothing happened.
I'd been telling myself that fact since yesterday morning, but I knew that something had... Something had just... Connected.
"Are you okay, Miss?" A friendly voice asked from the back of the room, knocking me from my reverie.
I turned around, trying desperately not to lock eyes with Edward Cullen.
Who was I kidding? He was all I looked at now.
"Yes." I muttered, gazing at his blazing golden eyes instead of the girl who'd asked the question, "I'm fine."
I slanted my body a little, motioning to the board, "Okay, we're starting Newton's Laws today. Has anyone covered these before?"
With a few nods from the physics students, I continued to describe the laws in detail and demonstrate the type of questions they'd receive.
Near the end of the class, I was proud to note that I'd managed to divert my thoughts from the gorgeous boy in front of me... But giving myself a virtual pat on the back, caused my thoughts to slide towards the real life Adonis once again.
"Okay... So..." I took a breath, pointing to the diagram on the board, "If the weight is on a plane that acts at an angle to the horizontal..." My eyes caught sight of the spot Edward had enclosed me yesterday, the spot his lips had touched mine. I stood in silence for a moment before shaking my head, "Yes... Uh... If it's at an angle then you have to resolve horizontally and vertically. Remember when doing this that G acts on the particle, which is acceleration due to gravity, and has the value of 9.8."
The bell rang suddenly and I jumped, scaring myself with the suddenness of it. I heard a few people chuckle from close by, but I tried to stop my cheeks from reddening.
"Okay, if you guys could try the first worksheet I handed out. That will be enough homework for now."
I turned back to the board, wiping off the writing quickly as I chanted in my head.
Don't stay. Don't stay. Don't stay.
"Bella." The gush of air that left my lungs at his voice knocked all plans of "acting like it never happened" into thin air.
I turned around slowly, "Miss Swan."
The class was empty and Edward's lip twitched at my rebuke, "Sorry. Miss Swan."
I'd tried to compose myself, but I knew it was no use. I shook my head, fighting the urge to move closer to him and crush my lips to his.
That wouldn't help the situation.
"Edward, what do you want?"
He stayed quiet, and my eyes moved from the desk to look at him again, "I got you something." He set a box onto the table, a little smaller than a shoe box.
I frowned, "Edward, why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?" His face was frustrated, as if he couldn't understand something.
"This." I motioned to the classroom as if it gave a response, "You can't keep coming into my classroom after class all the time. You can't give me things. You can't kiss me."
Anger flashed in his golden eyes, "You kissed me back." He spoke harshly.
I stifled a breath, shaking my head as I glanced down at my table, "No. That was a mistake. You caught me off guard."
His scent whipped around me suddenly and I looked up in shock to find him only inches from me.
"Don't say you didn't want to kiss me."
I kept my mouth shut, just staring at him.
I did want to kiss him. But I couldn't admit that fact.
"We can't do this. It's so wrong." I felt tears building in my eyes, "You don't understand. This could ruin my career, my life."
"You are my life." He was whispering, and his eyes were locked on the tears that had dripped down my cheeks in betrayal.
"Edward, you're seventeen, you don't know anything about it..." I wiped at my tears quickly, "You're confused, you don't like me in that way. It's the thrill that's attracting you." I met his gaze fully, "You need to stop."
"Need... But you don't want me to..." He reached up, and for a second his hand hovered by my cheek before he reverted to running his fingers through his hair, "Tell me you don't want me. Tell me you want me to go..."
I did want him, I realised with a stabbing pain in my chest.
I didn't know about the future, or about anything really... But I knew I wanted him to kiss me again.
But that was just my selfishness acting up, I knew it was wrong.
"I want you to go." I spoke slowly, trying to calm my breathing for fear it would betray me. I hadn't said I didn't want him, because I couldn't lie to him... But right now I did want him to go, I wanted to be alone.
He stared at me in shock, and let out a breath after a few seconds, "I promised myself..." He paused, "I promised myself if you didn't want me then I'd go..." He let out a laugh without humour, "You know I actually believed her... I thought maybe it would work out." He was backing away from me, and I didn't even have a chance to ask what he was talking about, "I guess we were both wrong. Goodbye Miss Swan."
Why did it sound more permanent than just until tomorrow?
I watched him turn around fully, fixing his bookbag over his shoulder before he opened the door and walked out of my classroom. I gripped the back of my chair, trying to hold myself up.
A part of me wanted to run after him, or at least call his name.
But I couldn't.
This was right.
Why did it feel so wrong?
The day had been hard to get through, all my students throughout the day could tell I was distracted about something, and at times I was on the verge of tears.
The final bell had just rang, and I couldn't bear to go home yet, so instead I sat in my classroom for a whole half hour, just staring at Edward Cullen's desk.
Would I see him again?
I had a feeling that I wouldn't.
Who did he believe? Whose word did he trust that "things would work out?"
I sighed, dropping my head into my hands as I shut my eyes, "I messed up." I mumbled to myself.
I stayed like that for a few moments, before raising my head and deciding to clean my desk to distract my thoughts.
I lifted the first folder, tidying the sheets of paper inside before I reached for the next one. As I moved, I caught sight of the box Edward had given me earlier.
I lifted it slowly, frowning at what could possibly be inside. It was small and light, and I took the chance to shake it a little. Something rattled, but it was too big to move very much in the small space. I set it on the desk and very gently lifted the lid from the top of the box.
It was a mask.
It was plain black, with feather protruding from the sides elegantly, with small diamonds encrusted in both sides. I realised after a second that it was for the Valentines Ball next Friday. I let out a breath, running my fingers over the silk slowly.
He was going to invite me.
I felt a thrill run through my body, before I realised how stupid I was being.
Oh yeah, because Edward and I could totally rock up to the dance together.
I sighed, setting the lid back on top before moving to place the box in my drawer.
Just as the drawer thudded to a close, I heard the door open.
Part of me thought it was Alison, but the biggest part hoped it was him.
Sure enough, Edward Cullen was standing at the doorway, his eyes nonchalant and cold.
"Edward?" My voice was a whisper, and I wasn't sure if he could detect the desperate note in it.
He walked towards the desk before dropping a piece of paper onto it, "My homework for tomorrow. I won't be in class."
I looked down at the Newton's Laws work, scribbled across the page in his elegant script, "Why won't you be here?" I frowned.
"Don't feel like it," was his simple reply.
He turned again and began to stride out of the room.
I was out of my seat in a second, and running towards him as fast as my heels could take me. I didn't even realise I was shouting his name until he turned around.
Without thinking about anything other than the fact I just wanted him to be near me, I shut my eyes and moved closer, crushing my lips to his as I stood up on my tiptoes.
As our lips connected, I felt that sudden and somewhat familiar feeling course through my body. I moved my hands to his face, feeling the stone cold and smooth planes of his face before trailing them around to his hair. Our lips pulled apart an inch and we both sucked in a breath before pressing them together again. His hands were on my hips, and he pulled me closer to him as we kissed over and over.
It was becoming erratic, just like my heart was about to pound out of my chest.
"Don't leave me." I whispered suddenly, surprised at myself for the desperate plea.
Edward had become a part of my life now... I was so used to him, I never wanted him to leave...
He kissed me once more, his cold lips yielding to mine in a kiss so passionate it made me knees go weak.
He pulled back slowly and his eyes were widened a little as he let out a breath.
I opened my eyes, dreading what was to come.
Would he walk away?
I wasn't sure I wanted him to...
He looked at me, the familiar smile was back in his eyes again.
"I have to go..." He whispered gently.
"Why?" I breathed, the word was out before I could think about it.
I blinked a little, and suddenly I realised we were standing under the frame of my open door. It was lucky everyone else in the school was gone.
My eyes darted out to the corridor of their own accord, and my heart stopped beating at the figure waiting patiently.
I gasped, and Alice Cullen's eyes met my own from where they'd been glued to mine and Edward's figures. She smiled gently, and I watched as Edward's head turned towards her, "Don't worry about her." He mumbled, "She knows."
Knows what? I felt like asking. I didn't even know what was happening...
I looked back at him again, my eyes wide with fear that he was leaving for good.
He bent his head slowly, brushing his lips past mine gently, "I have to go." He said again. I shut my eyes, frowning on his lips, "Just for now... I'll see you tomorrow."
I sighed, making an effort to move my arms from around him, "Alright."
"Tomorrow night. When the sun goes down." He smirked.
"But... School ends at four..."
He raised an eyebrow but didn't answer, "I'll see you." It was a hidden promise, "Be safe."
He turned around and walked towards his sister who stood smiling at me with excited eyes, "Bye!" She called.
They were out of my sight and I took a step into the corridor to watch them as they walked down the corridor. They were walking at normal speed, but Edward's head was nodding slightly, as if he and Alice were having some kind of silent, private conversation.
Sorry it took so long for this update! I've been pretty busy with my own students because it's nearly exam time :/
Anyway, did you guys enjoy?
Please review! Can we reach 100 reviews? I think i might scream if we do :O
Love, Ashley. xx
