Chapter 8. You're In The Wrong Place, My Friend

Everything was black. And it was cold. Freezing actually. Much like being at sea, wading in the Pacific Ocean. The memories gave her chills. The ocean waves smashing against paper, thin skin, threatening to take the small teen under. Riot remembered the burning of salt water invading her throat as she screamed for help, as she screamed for a savior but all that came was choking and splashing. Her lungs screamed for air but the ocean continued to mercilessly slide down and fill her throat.

She couldn't see, the salt stung her eyes and her dark hair acted as a blind fold, tying around her face, blocking her vision, confusing her. Which way was up? Which way was down? Where was the beach? Where was the air, the bright blue sky?

She thrashed around, screaming but no one could hear her, the water blocking her voice from ever reaching the ears of the citizens on the beach. She was losing focus, her throat burned and her body weakly twisted in it's exhaustion. But with one last push, she launched her body forward, in hopes that the surface was in that direction.

Her lungs burst as the cold, crisp sea air filled her back up and just through her bangs she could see the figures of the families on the beach, laughing and talking. They hadn't even noticed... Did they even care?

But did it matter? She was losing grasp faster now, no adrenalin to fuel her, her world swirled with the tide, black dots swarmed her sight and she began to float away. The ocean pushed and pulled at her small, frozen body but she let it move her. She was done fighting... Wasn't that the point of her going so far out into the ocean anyways? To see if they would care if she died? If she intended on dying? Committed suicide?

She closed her eyes and let her body drift away, caught up in the waves as they hugged her body. And she allowed a small smile to grace her face for the first time in years...

Her eyes shot open, her breathing was ragged and raspy. She began to panic, something was blocking her sight from her right eye. Her hand snapped to her eye, feeling it throb, and to find a bandage, she stifled a gasp. A cold sweat had broken out across her forehead and upper lip. In disgust, she wiped it away and tried to calm her heart.

She clenched her fists, grasping the soft material of the blanket beneath her. She squeezed her eyes closed and bit her lip, refusing to let the sob that threatened to get out, slip between her bloody lips.

A callused hand reached down and placed it's self onto her shivering shoulder. She jumped and turned her scared eyes to the man next to her. He gave her a soft, understanding smile.

"Hey." He said quietly. "I'm glad to see you're awake." Fun Ghoul commented and handed her a glass of warm liquid. She took the mug gingerly and eyed him suspiciously. He raised his hands in defense.

"No, worries, kid. It's not poison. Just warm milk with a splash of vanilla." He held up his pointer finger and his thumb giving her the 'little bit' sign. Deciding she had nothing to lose and she took a sip. She bit back the purr that rumbled in her aching throat, when realization crashed down on her.

"I was screaming wasn't I?" Ghoul cast her a sad grin. She moaned and closed her eyes, her cheeks burning. "And my eye...?"

"Hey." He started and sat down by the blue haired girl. "Everyone has nightmares, us Killjoys more than normal people, and trust me screaming isn't uncommon in the safe house." Her golden eye widened.

"I'm in the safe house?" Ghoul nodded.

"And as for your eye..." He trailed off uncomfortably. "I'm sorry but we couldn't save it. Doc had to stitch you up." He paused, "Do you mind me asking, but um... How did you survive?" He asked the teen softly. She looked him in the eyes and was surprised to find only concern and even protectiveness in his green eyes. She sighed,

"How do you figure? I mean, what do you mean?"

Ghoul scratched his head. "Well, I mean... Like from your screams? I got that you were drowning, freaked out and then, just, like... let go, I guess." He shrugged. "I dunno."

Riot shuddered. "Some... Something like that." She looked at his concerned face and the words came rushing out before she could even think about what she was saying.

"We were at the beach one day. It was a camp. A church camp for the families... We would go every year. I looked forward to it every year." She took a deep breath and Ghoul hesitantly placed a hand on top of hers. When she didn't remove it, he gave her tiny hand a light squeeze. He knew what would come next wouldn't be easy for her.

"It was down by the beach. And I'd go out there everyday, nevermind the other kids, I never got along with them anyways." She wrinkled her nose. "They were all so... churchy..." Ghoul laughed lightly.

"I was depressed, had been for over a year. I wasn't into self harm, like cutting, but I was into pain. I did crazy things that would end up with me bleeding on the floor. I was bullied too. No one knew about it, anyone I tried to tell ignored me." The raven-haired man wrapped his arms around her tiny body. He knew what it was like to bullied. Oh did he know...

"I was an outcast. Not always a problem, I'm not the most social kid out there," She giggled weakly. "So sometimes being on my own was a blessing. I was always a very independent kid too. And so, I had time to focus on the things I loved. But a lot of the time, the fun would wear off and it would be just... me. All alone, in the dark, with no one to hear my screams or pleading.

"One day the family and I were at the beach. Earlier I had tried to talk to my mom about my depression, but she was convinced I didn't know what depression was and therefore I didn't know what I was talking about." She squeezed her visible eye shut and let out a shaky breath. Ghoul waited patiently next to her.

"I wonder sometimes that if maybe I had gone to my dad... Things would've been different..." Her voice was so quiet the smallest Killjoy almost missed it. "But that day I went out into the water, like normal, but it was different. Everyone was on the beach, the whole of my church was out there. And I figured that if I were to get lost the tide surely someone would notice, right? And maybe then I'd see that I wasn't as alone as I thought I was," her voice shook but she pressed on.

"So I went farther out. So far I couldn't even touch the bottom if I pushed myself downward and the waves were so strong... I lost control and the waves took me under. I began to panic, I began to have second thoughts, maybe they did notice me, but it would be too late? I started to inhale the water, I tried screaming for help, thrashing about, but only made it worse. I prayed that someone would notice me out there..." Her voice cracked before her eyes filled with bitterness and her voice dripped with venom.

"Of course they didn't. They were too busy laughing and making a fool out of their anti-social daughter to notice she was dying. I realized that in mid-struggle. I closed my eyes and just let go, knowing that this was the end. I knew that if know one cared then why the fuck should I still be here. I accepted my fate and lost consciousness." She looked up at him, her golden eyes pleading.

"I thought I was dead. But I woke up on the beach, in the sand, somewhere from where my family had been sitting. It was night time too. The stars were out and the moon hung just over the ocean..." Tears began to leak down her face. "My parents hadn't noticed at all. No one had. I had been passed out on the beach for hours and no one noticed I was gone.

"I didn't have the energy to try and drown again, but I didn't have the energy to find my family so I just laid out there on the beach all by my lonesome, wondering why on earth was I still alive. It was from that day forward I knew that no one cared about you. It was just you against the world and no one cared. And I was sure as hell never going to make the mistake of believing I was cared for by anybody."

"Then I guess you won't believe me when I say we care for you?" Ghoul asked hesitantly. Riot snorted,

"Nope." She popped the 'p'. "I know your leader or whatever fucking hates my guts. And I can't imagine why the rest of you would be any different."

"Well I am." Ghoul pointed out causing the young teen to falter. She looked up into his green eyes, her own had become almost the size of dinner plates. Ghoul was shocked to see how young and innocent the girl seemed. Definitely not the same girl who two days ago was bleeding on the floor and still killing Dracs like it was absolutely nothing. " And you can bet your colorful hair that Missile cares a shit-load too." He added slyly. "Besides," he shrugged. "Party doesn't hate you."

Riot got a fond look in her eyes when Ghoul mentioned the little, curly-haired girl. She chose to focus on the small girl other than the redheaded Killjoy. "Is she, Missile... Is she alright?" She asked carefully, closing her eye and preparing for the worse. Ghoul smiled kindly.

"She's been awake for a day now. She's been coming to visit you since." Ghoul looked around the room, confusion masking his expression. "Party must got her doin' something because she's not here right now..."

"You say she's been up for a day? How long was she out? How long was I out?"

"Missile was only out for a day. You? Two." He answered. Riot shook her head and made to get up. Her knees shook and she stumbled, almost hitting the ground before Ghoul snatched her back up and placed her back on the make-shift hospital bed.

"Slow down, girl. Where do you think you're off to?" Ghoul joked but before the teen could answer, Party was in the door, a thick scowl on his face.

"Yeah, I'd like to know that too, rogue." He crossed the room with ease, like a skilled predator. Ghoul immediately stood up in front of his best friend.

"Whoa there Poison, maybe we should wait-"

"No." The older man growled and stepped around the small man. He glared down at the teen and she glared right back.

"She just woke up!" Ghoul tried to reason, but Party was having none of it.

"Tell me rogue, where did you think you were going?" He bent down by her, his lips curled into a snarl. Riot tried her hardest to glare back but the Killjoy's hazel green eyes were a fire. She swallowed slowly and cursed herself for showing weakness. "I said: Where the fuck do you think you're doing?" Venom oozed from his words. Ghoul tried to get his attention. "Do you think you're just going to prance back out into the desert while we all wave you happy goodbyes? Do you? Well think again."

The redhead pulled away slightly but only so he could place the barrel of his gun to her temple. Ghoul let out a squeak of horror and tried to grab his arm. Party only shook him off. Riot gulped and glanced at the gun out of the corner of her eye.

"Well then..." She wheezed before clearing her throat. She couldn't show weakness but damn it was hard when he was glaring at her like that and his gun pressed to her head so tightly she could still feel the heat radiating off of it. She wondered how recently he had used it. If he had been practicing her execution. "Then what are you going to do to me?"

Party smirked. "I'm no stranger to torture." She bit back a gasp of horror. Ghoul tried desperately to get his attention again.

"For fucks sake, Ghoul! Get out of here then!" He yelled and Ghoul stared in horror, but the small man turned and began to leave anyways. Right before he left, he turned in the doorway,

"What the fuck happened to you, Party Poison?" He said the lead Killjoy's name in mockery and disgust. Party only snarled at him to get out again. And with a final sad look Ghoul left the room. The redhead turned his attention back to the blue-haired girl.

"Turning my own best friend on me, rogue? That's a bit low dontcha think?" His voice was calm and taunting but Riot could noticed the small catch in his voice and the flicker of self-disgust in those hazel-like eyes. She agreed with Ghoul, what the fuck was up with this guy?

"I don't think that was me." She snapped before she had time to process the words. But she was so angry now, this guy was being a total dickhead and not to mention blaming Riot for his friendship problems was not helping his case. Party growled and smacked her with the butt of his gun causing her head to snap to the side. She let out a small cry, completely caught off guard. Her forehead throbbed in pain and a small, sticky tear ran down her face.

But she was shocked to find that when she turned back to face him, he was staring at her face in shock. Horror and self-loathing shone brightly in his sad eyes. As if almost in a trance he reached up and gingerly caressed the forming bruise on her forehead. She winced as more tears began to flood her vision and Party jerked his hand away. He began to open his mouth when Missile Kid burst into the room, a giant smile shining brightly on her face.

"Riot!" She squealed, running up and throwing her arms around her neck in a tight hug. The teen quickly rubbed the tears away. "You're awake!" She giggled happily. Her doe eyes caught sight on the bruise forming on her forehead, next to her temple and she scrunched her forehead together in question. The little girl turned back over to the still frozen Killjoy leader.

"I thought all injuries were treated, Geesy?" Riot didn't understand the nickname but the way Missile said it, so affectionate and fondly, all anger disappeared and Riot didn't have the heart to rat out the older man. Before the redhead could answer Riot piped up.

"It's new." She said slowly. Missile had turned her big eyes back to the teenage girl while the redhead cast his head down and abruptly stood up, his face completely free of all emotions. "Don't worry about it, I probably got it when I was thrashing around in my sleep." Riot smiled good-naturedly as if to prove her point.

Party stared at the teen girl for a second, shocked that she had covered for him. He caught her eyes for a split second.

For Missile.

He just nodded coolly.

"Hey, Geesy, can Riot become part of the Killjoys?" Missile asked sweetly from the blue-haired girl's lap. Both rebels froze. Party turned for the door.

"We'll take it up with the rest of the guys." Riot narrowed her eyes at the retreating figure of the eldest Killjoy. Something was up with him and Riot wanted to find out. "But don't get your hopes up kid." And Riot got the feeling he wasn't just talking to Missile.

Riot slowly made her way out of whatever room they had placed her in with Missile leading the way eagerly. Missile was practically bursting at the seems, her mouth moving a mile a minute, the smile on her face threatened to swallow her whole. Riot couldn't even begin to try and decipher what Missile had said before she jumped onto the next thing.

So Riot just settled for smiling weakly and nodding her head whenever it looked like Missile was awaiting an answer. The safe house was pretty small, to be excepted, but it just seemed, from what she had actually gathered from the girl's incessant chatter, that the boys recorded music, the Doc had his radio show here, and there was room for all seven inhabitants, with a small meeting/living/dinning room. She managed to catch that she had been passed out in the room the Killjoys recorded their music.

She smirked, knowing that Party Poison wasn't going to be happy that Missile had already given her so much information.

When she stepped into the room which, she supposed, was the meeting room, all talk ceased. And 12 pairs of eyes made their way to her. Party was scowling and Ghoul was giving her a small, reassuring smile. Though he looked relived to see her just alive. His eyes traveled to the bruise on her forehead and his eyes snapped to Party's, but the redhead was glaring at the floor.

The Doctor also noticed the bruise. "T'at wasn' ther' when I treated yeh." He commented gruffly. Riot shrugged and she could almost see the holes the redhead was burning into the floor.

"I was thrashing and screaming quite a bit from what Ghoul here tells me." She replied as evenly as she could. The Doctor's eyes flickered to Party, still drilling holes in the floor with his eyes. Then rested on the black-haired Killjoy.

Ghoul noticed the rest of the room staring at him and shrugged. "Yeah. I guess so." Everyone else didn't press it but Riot could tell the Doctor wasn't fooled and Ghoul was still trying to figure out what was going on.

Riot twiddled her thumbs awkwardly, trying to ignore the looks the rest of the Killjoys were sending her.

"How's your eye?" A blonde piped up. Her eyes darted to him and she shrugged,

"Throbbing." The room fell quiet again. And Missile wasn't having any of it.

"Well?" She huffed, her hands on her hips and her bottom lip poked out in a pout. "Is Riot apart of the Killjoys or not?" The Doctor rolled his eyes, but the affection in his eyes for the little girl let them know he wasn't annoyed.

"Fine. We vote." He cleared his throat. "All in fav'r of lettin' Rio, he'r, stay?" The blonde from earlier, raised his hand and passed her a kind smile but quickly passed back into a poker face. Ghoul quickly put his hand up, Missile was practically bouncing around the room, letting everyone know what she wanted. And another guy in a helmet raised his hand.

He shrugged. "Missile loves you. Clearly there must be a reason?" Riot could tell from his voice that the guy was a teenager and he was most likely gay. She gave him a small give of thanks.

The DJ spoke up again, humor rumbled in his deep voice. "Don' wanna h'r ta stay?"

Party and a Killjoy with an afro raised their hands tiredly, the answer already obvious. Missile Kid screamed happily and threw herself at the teenage girl. "Finally!" She yelped. "Another girl!" Riot smiled and ran a hand through her soft curls affectionately.

"Well we can't leave you to fend for yourself in a house full of boys, now can we?"

The redhead angrily got up and stormed out of the room, followed by the afro-ed man, though he was less dramatic and looked more like he was trying to calm Party down more than anything. Riot ignored them as the gay teen removed his helmet. Bright blue eyes accompanied by a mop of raven hair met her eye. He smiled at her,

"Welcome to the Killjoys." She grinned.

END OF BOOK 1: NEXT BOOK TWO: BULLETPROOF HEART. Warning for future book: torture and rape and other horrible things. Because things are about to get dark.

Stick around?

TBATD