HANGING ON FOR HOPE
Author's Notes: Again, another chapter for Hanging on for Hope… I hope you guys like this one… It's a bit rushed and a bit sad… But, I really hope that you guys like it…
Thanks to those who reviewed for the previous chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura. Way Back Into Love is performed by Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett. The song does not belong to me.
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CHAPTER EIGHT: THE RIGHT CHOICE
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"Love is something that you cannot escape. It'll follow you wherever you go, even though you don't want to experience love at that certain moment. That's what I have learned." – Daidouji Tomoyo
Ah… Love… I wonder when that feeling will come to me… I thought it did when I met that guy, the same guy who kissed me and as flirting with my friend. Although he claims that he wasn't flirting with her, it was still quite obvious…
I thought I would be able to stop thinking about him if I always saw them together as school started, my friend and the guy. Unfortunately, it just ached inside. More than anyone could ever notice. The day passed, I am once again invisible to the eyes of people. I used to like that, but somehow, I'm getting way too annoyed with it the past few days.
Yup… It's me again, Piper Lee.
Kinomoto Sakura sat in one of the benches around campus with her laptop resting innocently on her lap. She was in the most peaceful and most beautiful view in the whole campus; sitting under two cherry blossom trees with a small pond just beside her that contained what looked like a mini waterfall as well. Such a pretty sight, and only her and Tomoyo knew about the place. They discovered it a few days after moving in to their dormitory.
Thinking of the next thing to type in, Sakura stared at the sky and sighed. It was as sky blue as ever with fluffy white clouds swarming around it and the sun giving its light. She then relaxed her back to the bench and closed her eyes, still facing the sky.
"Not sure of how to continue?" someone said while Sakura was resting.
Sakura straightened up to see who was there, carefully not to suddenly drop her laptop to the ground. Upon seeing who the person was, Sakura immediately closed her laptop and grabbed her bag. But before standing up, she stared at him and said coldy, "What do you want…?"
"I just want to talk… Please hear me out, Sakura…" Syaoran said almost wanting to kneel down to his knees just to have her listen to him.
"What's there to talk about, Syaoran…" Sakura said, this time a bit gentle, after a sigh. "I know we heard wrong about Resha… And I'm sorry about taking it to you… But I've made up my mind…"
"What's there to think about, Sakura?!" Syaoran said, almost yelling out. Unfortunately for him, Resha and the others didn't fail to hear that as they were on their way to school. "Sakura… I'm serious about what I said in Hong Kong…"
"Syaoran… I've had enough of this… You know why?" Sakura said as she stood up. Tears were starting to form in her eyes as she spoke, but she tried to hide them by looking at the ground. "I've been waiting for you for such a long time… What happened in Hong Kong, I thought it was a dream that only I can get to remember." She continued, "I waited for you Syaoran!!" Sakura finally yelled out before she looked at Syaoran with tears in her eyes, and then she ran away leaving Syaoran dumbfounded by the trees.
After Sakura had passed them, Resha and the others looked at her as she ran away. Then they all piled up and ran towards Syaoran. "Syaoran! What happened? Why was Sakura shouting and crying?" Resha asked.
"Syaoran, there's something you haven't told us..." Eriol said. Seems like he was busted and still owed them an explanation.
Since Syaoran was surrounded and looked like he can't run away anymore, he finally told them the truth, "Sakura and I met at Hong Kong while she was having a vacation there. We didn't know that our parents knew each other and we suddenly saw each other again in a party because my mom invited them over. I lead her out of the party and…"
Everyone was still looking at him, waiting for him to say his next word. A few seconds had passed and he wasn't talking. Resha had lost her patience and said, "And what?! What did you do to Sakura?!"
"Resha…" Oriha warned. They all knew how short Resha patience was, so they always had to warn her every time she loses it.
"What?! Sakura is my friend and I will NOT take that someone hurt her, even though the guy would be a close friend…" Resha said, glaring at Syaoran.
"Let's just let him say what he has to say in his own time… It looks like it's something tha – " Eriol started but was interrupted by Syaoran who continued his sentence.
"I kissed her." He said.
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Sakura was determined to skip class that day, so she ran towards her dormitory and ran up to their room. When she opened the door, she found no one around so she just flopped herself on the sofa and cried herself to sleep after she placed her laptop on the coffee table and threw her bag into the other sofa.
"Why…" she said to herself while she was sobbing to the sofa. "Why did this have to happen…?"
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"You WHAT?!" Resha and Oriha yelled out.
Feeling a bit guilty, Syaoran continued, "What? I did tell her that I like her the day after!"
"Syaoran! You could have at least confronted her about what you feel before kissing her!" Resha said before she ran.
No one knew where she was going except for herself. But Oriha had an idea, but she didn't run after her. Instead, she faced Syaoran and said, "Think about how she would feel before your own…" then she walked away.
Eriol and Syaoran looked at both girls that just walked and ran away from both of them. "What's with them…?" Syaoran asked.
Turning back to Syaoran, Eriol sighed. "Actually… Even though I find the situation weird, what they said were true…" Eriol said. "You should have thought about what she feels… Or maybe should have told her that you liked her before doing anything…" Then he walked away as well.
Leaving Syaoran dumbfounded, again, he sighs himself and looked at the ground and sat at the bench, which Sakura previously occupied. "Dammit…" he murmured.
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An hour later, a worried Tomoyo barged inside the dormitory, waking Sakura up. "What happened…?" she said sleepily when Tomoyo opened the door.
"Eriol told me everything… Looks like they saw Syaoran's confrontation to you a while ago by the bench…" Tomoyo said as she kneeled down to her cousin, best friend and roommate.
When one of then says bench, it only means one bench, even though there are a lot around school. It was the bench that they found… "Moyo… I really don't know what to do…" Sakura said as she started crying again.
Tomoyo pulled Sakura slowly towards her and soothed her back as she said, "Shh… It's alright… I'm here Saku…"
Just then, something that Eriol said had hit Tomoyo. She then pulled Sakura away and said hurriedly, "Wait a sec… Eriol told me that you and Resha had a misunderstanding…?"
"Yeah… Seems like the person she told me was the person she thought was hot at school before… Syaochen… And not Syaoran…"
"SO?! What's the hold up! Why did you still reject him then…?" Tomoyo asked immediately as if she was mad, but she wasn't. Then she calmed down a bit and looked at Sakura gently. "Sakura… It's just like what I typed in your chapter journal… Love is something that you cannot escape… If love is really what you feel for him that is…"
"Tomoyo… I don't know what to feel anymore… It's like, I don't even want to know how to feel anymore…!" Sakura said. "Everything is so messed up… I hate this feeling…!"
Not knowing what to do anymore, Tomoyo saw Sakura's laptop by the table. She slowly got it and gave it to Sakura. "Here… I know this is what you would like to do now… Or maybe not now… But in times like these…"
She knew her way too well… Sakura got her laptop and opened it, then opened the file.
Did I mention that the guy never talked to my friend anymore since the start of the term…? It's like, they only talk if it's something important or something… Not like before that they talked all the time even though they talked about nonsense…
I was hurt once again… Love really sucks… I can't believe that I fell, again… I don't want to feel anymore… I'm so tired of feeling… Wait… Did I say love? No… I don't know what I feel anymore…! I don't know if I love him… But I do feel different around him… I can be myself… And not the person that he knew from school… Argh!!! Everything is so messed up! I hate this feeling…
I sit, this time in our living room, typing what I feel. Like I said, this will be like a journal of what I feel, right… I had a confrontation with the guy a while ago… But, I have made up my mind…
I don't think he understood me much though… I just left him hanging there with the words "You made me wait" and ran away. And now, I've been thinking if I made the right choice… I did, didn't I? I just don't want to get hurt anymore… I've had enough…
I think I'll go and be a nun…
"WHAT?! Wait… Sakura!" Tomoyo said, taking Sakura off her trance as she was typing. "Sakura, you can't be a nun…!"
"It's just a thought… Although I have been thinking about it just now…" Sakura said. Her tears had stopped flowing and she was in her child state again; the one Tomoyo loved so much… "If I did become one, I'll never have to feel any of these feelings for anyone… I won't get hurt again…"
"Sakura… It's not the best solution you know… I mean, there are lots of guys out there that aren't like that… Take Eriol for example… He may be not the BEST guy that courted me, but he does have a lot of good sides in him… Have you seen Syaoran's sides…? Wait, did you listen to his side of the story…"
For both Tomoyo's questions, Sakura shook her head. True, she doesn't know Syaoran that much… And she never listened to him; whatever he wanted to tell her a while ago, she just shook it off.
"I'll call Eriol for you…" Tomoyo said as she got her celphone.
Sakura on the other hand just had her fingers at the keyboard of her laptop and stared to the ground.
"Eriol… Are you with Syaoran…?" Sakura heard Tomoyo say from the kitchen. "Is that so… Can you go look for him…? I think Sakura's ready to listen now..." A small pause. "Okay. I'll see you later hun…"
Now staring at the screen of her laptop, Sakura heard Tomoyo's footsteps coming closer. "Eriol said he'd look for Syaoran. Seems like he hasn't gone home from the time Eriol left him by the bench." Tomoyo said. "Also, it seems like most of you didn't go to class today… Eriol told me Resha and Oriha didn't as well…"
"Was Resha there when they heard us?" Sakura asked her now turning from the screen of her laptop towards Tomoyo who nodded.
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Eriol walked to where he left Syaoran to find that he wasn't anywhere in sight… He was sitting at a tree branch. Eriol walked closer to the tree where he sat. He looked up at Syaoran and said, "Syaoran… Tomoyo called me. She said Sakura's wiling to listen now."
"What does it matter… I made her wait, give her misunderstanding situations… I lost everything I ever hoped for…" He said not moving an inch.
Eriol sighed. He knew that this would be a long talk before he can make Syaoran go to Sakura so he sat by the roots of the tree. "Syaoran… You may have given her situations that may help her misunderstand you… But she is also at fault for not listening to you and giving you a chance to explain. And no, you did no lose everything you hoped for… You just didn't do anything about it that much." He said.
"I know… But… I blew it Eriol…" Syaoran said. "I blew all the chances that she gave me…"
"You weren't listening were you… She's willing to talk. She's willing to listen to you Syaoran. Make her listen if you really love her. Hey, that's not the Syaoran that I know… The Syaoran that I know never gives up until he gets what he wants, or what he thinks he deserves." Eriol said.
Syaoran finally opened his eyes and sat up straight. What Eriol said had sunken inside him. "You're right… I won't give up…" Syaoran said as he jumped down, almost hitting Eriol in the process.
"Okay… That was fast…" Eriol said as he stood up and ran after Syaoran.
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A soft knock on the door made Sakura nervous. She didn't know how she would react towards Syaoran, even though she said she was going to listen. "I'll go get the door… Stay here…" Tomoyo said as if she was talking to a child.
When Tomoyo finally returned to the living room with Syaoran and Eriol on her trail, she faced Sakura, and said, "Eriol and I will be at my room if you need me. I'm not gonna close the door, alright…? I'll leave it ajar." And with that, she nodded.
When Tomoyo and Eriol were finally gone, Syaoran breathed in and walked towards the nearest seat he could take, which was near Sakura. "Sakura... Look, I'm sorry…" he said softly.
Sakura didn't move an inch. She just stayed put, with her laptop innocently sitting by her lap, closed. She showed no signs that she was listening, nor did she show any that said she wasn't. She just stared at the ground.
"Just hear me out, alright…?" Syaoran said still attempting to make her show any signs. Failed. But, trying his best to tell her, he didn't back down. Not that she was finally here, even though he doesn't know if she was listening or not.
"I know I made a mistake with what I did in Hong Kong… Resha and Oriha told me that I did, even Eriol was there to tell me! Dammit. It must be THAT wrong when my own best friend told me that." He continued giving much emphasis on the word "that". This time, Sakura chuckled in an irritated way. Hey, at least she wasn't ignoring him.
"If it weren't for the circumstances, I would have told you earlier. I'm sorry about the misunderstandings that I may have caused. I was just way too distracted and I didn't know what to do…" he continued. Now, it was his turn to look at the ground as he continued. "But, it's true Sakura. Since the day I first talked to you at that class when Eriol and I were reporting, I felt something different… Something I never felt for anyone before…" To his surprise, when he looked back at Sakura, she was looking at him as well with surprised eyes.
"Sakura… I… What mean to say is… I like you… No, like is such a vague word. I love you, more than anyone, and I'm willing to do anything just to be with you…" he continued as he looked at Sakura directly in the eyes, to mean that he is sincere with what he is saying. "I know I may have blown most of the chances that you already gave me… But what I'm asking is for one last cha – "
"The hell I care for chances…" Sakura said. Though it was the first time she talked, Syaoran was taken a back by what she said. "Syaoran, I'd give you all the chances in the world…"
I've
been living with a shadow overhead I've been hiding all my hopes and
dreams away
I've been sleeping with a cloud
above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on
Just in case I ever need 'em again someday
I've
been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of
my mind
"I love you…" Sakura whispered with a gentle smile on her face.
I've been watching
but the stars refuse to shine I've been looking for someone
to shed some light I could use some direction All I want to do is find a way back into love There are moments when I don't know
if it's real All I want to do
is find a way back into love
All
I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through
without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I've been searching but I just don't
see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be
something for my soul somewhere
Not somebody just to get me through the
night
And I'm open to your
suggestions
I
can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open
my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the
end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need
inspiration
Not just another negotiation
I can't make it through without a way
back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll
show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know
that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
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AUTHOR'S NOTES: And that's it for the eighth chapter! I hoped you liked it… Please leave a review through the review button at the bottom (smile)
I think the next chapter would be the last one for this. Either that or I'll make this story a 10 chapter story… I still don't know… But anyway… Brace up for the coming epilogue!
