Think Before You Speak

"Heloooo. Jackson!"

"Huh?" Jackson had been zoned out, resting his head on his fists while his arms rested on his knees. He was too wrapped up in thoughts to be socially aware today. Well one thought really. The words were going round and round in his head from the previous night: 'Yeah, he said he doesn't love you anymore". Okay fair enough they hadn't spoken in a while prior to Aaron getting out of prison but there was no doubt there was still some strong feelings there. He looked up to see the very man who 'didn't love him' stare back at him. Although Aaron hadn't said these words, he couldn't help but still be mad at Aaron, but his temper eased off as the corners of Aaron's mouth twitched into a smile.

"Thank God, I thought you were having a stroke. Listen, Adam's having people 'round to his tonight if your interested."

"Will Chris be there?" Jackson asked dryly.

"Yeah, why, is that a problem?" Aaron snapped back.

"No, just gonna say if its alright if I bring Nikhil then?"

"Oh. Right. Yeah whatever. If you wanna. See ya round 8 yeah." Aaron walked off to the garage, Jackson watching him every step of the way, except for the few times Aaron looked back at him and quickly turned away.


"Alright mate, hope you brought some of your own cans cause looks like we're running low here". That was Adam's greeting to Aaron and Chris who just entered the party now. John and Moira were on holidays with Holly, and Hannah was sleeping over in a mate's. There were a few people there already, a young crowd, that Aaron mostly knew.

"If you two don't seperate anytime soon I'll have to get the hose on ya's. And I don't wanna see either of you'se sneak up to the bedrooms. But if you're gonna, at least do it in Holly's room." Adam teased the pair. They both laughed off the remark but Adam's wish came true as Jackson entered. Aaron now distanced himself from Chris, not in an obvious way, but enough so it wouldn't look like he was all over him. Of course, Jackson entered with Nikhil, to which Aaron sneered.

"You don't like him then?"

"Who?"

"Nikhil? That might explain the sneer and aggressive looks at him."

"Yeah, we don't exactly see eye to eye"

"How come?"

"Cause of. We. Never mind, forget it, I'll get us more beers." Aaron walked into the kitchen where Jackson and Nikhil had just hung their coats. On sight of Aaron entering the room, Nikhil made himself scarce, moving over to Chris to talk to him.

"So you came? And so did Nikhil."

"Said I was comin' and said I would ask him didn't I?"

"Yeah. Just sayin' Jackson" Aaron jeered, and continued over to the fridge to get two beers.

"Get us one while your there would you"

"I'm not your bitch, get it yourself"

"God Aaron, it was just a simple gesture I was asking." He had sort of muttered that but raised his voice now so that Aaron would hear him: "Things like that made it easier to stop loving you"

"Eh what? Bit random Jackson", Aaron retorted, pulling one of his iconic faces which read 'what the hell'.

"Is it really Aaron?", Jackson snapped back, much to Aaron's confusion.

"Eh yeah? That's why I said it. What the hell is your problem" Aaron asked, but obviously wasn't actually looking for an answer as he started heading back to the living room.

"I don't love ya anymore you know?" Jackson shouted across the room. It took Aaron by surprise, and no doubt he was hurt by it, but he maintained a calm face.

"You what?"

"You heard me, I don't love you anymore."

"Alright. Fine. Well I got over you a long time anyway"

"Yeah, so I've heard." Jackson snapped. Either of them didn't know what to say now, so they both stood their looking at the ground, beer cans in hand. Aaron looked up at Jackson, his voice all shaken and quiet.

"When?" his voice cracked, and he blushed momentarily, but regained his voice: "So when did ya stop then? Or what made you . .unlove me?" Jackson shrugged his shoulders. He tried to find a point at when he was genuinly mad at Aaron, but couldn't think of anything, and figured that he had to answer the question.

"Er, when you were sent to prison really." Aaron's eyes widened. If that was the case then why did Jackson visit so frequently the first 5 months he was in there. "Yeah. That was it. I told ya before we got together that I didn't wanna associate with a violent thug. And when you got arrested, things couldn't have been any clearer. So there's your answer". Jackson looked back to the floor. Silence flooded the room again. Aaron's face resembled shock, hurt and confusion. He didn't want to be the one to sound weak though so instinctively, he snapped back at Jackson.

"Well I never properly loved you anyway! Sorry Jackson but you were really just a first time try. You know how it is, desperate to see what its like for the first time so you let anyone in. That was the only good thing about prison, gave me an excuse to stop seeing you and move on to bigger and better things!" With that he stormed out of the room. Jackson was now the one who was shocked and hurt. He couldn't believe what Aaron had just said. If Jackson took the time to think about, he could see that what Aaron said was completely not true, but he was too wounded to think at all, and he found comfort in his beer. He stayed in the kitchen almost the whole night. Nikhil came in and spent most of the night with him and comforted him, but Jackson never told him why he was so hurt.

Aaron also confided in his beer for relief from his conversation with Jackson. Why didn't Jackson love him anymore? Where had that come from and why say it now? Yeah he had moved on but you never forget your first love really, do ya? Aaron didn't really know. He continued to let beer drown his sorrows anyway, a little bit more than he should have. He continued to be all over Chris, in the drunken state that he was, just to show Jackson how much he 'didn't care', but Jackson wasn't even in the room.

Once the party died down, a moreless sober Chris carried a passed out Aaron back to his apartment. Nikhil had already driven Jackson home at this stage. Hauling his body into the bed, he pulled back the covers and tucked Aaron in tightly, before joining him and placing his arm around Aaron's body. Aaron finally began to wake up from his drunken stupor, but was obviously still off his tits on alcohol. He groaned a little when he woke up, alerting Chris.

"Bout time, I thought you might need to go the hospital". Aaron didn't answer this, he just made a few weird noises, which made Chris laugh.

"Night Aaron", Chris whispered, while planting a kiss on his forehead, he continued to whisper "I love you".

Aaron groaned and twitched a little again before responding:

"I love you too Jackson".