Ok, so I know what you guys are thinking. "What the hell happened to Retroninjachick's updates?"
Well, you see my little friends, I was on vacation till christmas when I finally got back. And although I had acess to the computer, I didn't have access to my computer where all my files just so happened to be. For that I'm extremely sorry. This was my first christmas away from my parents and family, so I got back before them, hence the missing files issue. I hope you will accept this, and that this will satisfy you for a while. =)
Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Please review. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
B.P.O.V
The war slowly began like that. He knew it was me. He knew as soon as he saw my smirk that it was in fact I who had put something in his food. With that he sought out to get revenge whichever way possible. We pulled worthless and pitiful pranks on each other daily, and it was no surprise that we did so either. It started out with little dumb insults every morning, developing into little pranks. For example, he would put salt in my cereal, something stupid yes...until he one day switched the salt and sugar shakers, and I burned my throat, nearly choking to death.
I got him back for that, putting eggs in his shoes, or ham. It then developed more seriously, like the other day. He put temporary blue dye in my shampoo. It. Was. Not. Funny. Not in the least. That's ok, because I put icy hot on the toilet paper. Needless to say, he didn't go to work that day, spending his time on the couch complaining about ass burn. Muahahaha!
I was becoming evil and conniving. And I liked it. I loved the faces he would make when he would come out of the shower with egg goo instead of shampoo, the angry look in his eye, the set jaw...the pursed lips, and the clenched fists making his muscles flex as well. I bit my lip as I focused more on my papers. I was going over the food list for the party. It was coming soon, and so was Valentines. Great.
One more week until freaking Valentines. Ugh.
"Bella?" I looked up to meet Angie's worried gaze. Her stomach was growing more with each passing day. Angie Jr. Or perhaps it was a Ben Jr.
"Yes?"
"You don't have to do that." She said with amused eyes.
"Yes I do. Have you met Jane?" I asked, my hands flat on the table. She rolled her eyes.
"Alright Mrs. Perfectionist." She sighed. "How about you let me do it?"
"You don't have to do that Ang-"
"But I want to. Besides, I haven't been doing much work here. Go home to your hubby." She said wiggling her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.
"Don't even get me started."
-:-
E.P.O.V
"Fred has his alibi, but we all know that with Felix on the opposite side, more questions will be asked, so I need you all to be prepared." Carlisle said, staring us each down. I sighed, not interested at all in the case. I gave my opinion, I should have been let go already.
"What about Martinez?" Emmett asked. "I swear that guy has something to do with the murder." Of course Emmett would choose now to be serious. It was always serious when it came to these cases. Carlisle pursed his lips.
"Felix is his lawyer, if you get caught up with that, we'll definitely lose. Our only purpose is to defend Frederick. That's it." Carlisle said with finality. Emmett shut up, and crossed his arms.
"Alright, now I want Garret to take care of this one, he's been doing the research, and he can stay calm and firm around Felix." Carlisle said as his eyes looked at every single person in the room. "Now the judge-"
"Excuse me." Lauren's voice came from the door. Carlisle, a compassionate, kind man, and my own father, looked like he wanted to bitch her out for interrupting. Like I said, this was serious. Even a nice man like him would lose his cool.
"What is it Jessica?" He asked, a bit annoyed. She cleared her throat, her gaze meeting mine for a brief second.
"I have a delivery for Mr. Cullen." She said. The three Cullen's in the room stared at her. Emmett with an amused smile. She finally looked up, her eyes flickering with recognition. "Oh, I mean Edward." She clarified. I waved my hand, and she came over, a bright pink bag in her hand...that looks like...
"Is that Victoria's Secret?" Emmett asked. I think I actually blushed as I shrugged. Lauren placed the bag in front of me, on the table before walking away.
Everyone stared at me in anticipation and curiosity...waiting for me to open the bag. With a sigh, I put my hand out hesitantly, reaching for the opening. I was as confused as them, my heart beating faster than usual.
I pulled out what felt like silky fabric, and my eyes widened as I realized what it was. I cleared my throat nervously, as there was whooping, and cheering and whistling in the background from the fellow coworkers.
The silky, piece of fabric was supposed to be a night gown, and it as well was hot pink. When my hand touched it around, putting it before me for all to see, something fell onto my lap.
"I would want to hit that. Who are you sleeping around with Cullen?" Garret howled with laughter. I ignored him as I picked up the box in my lap.
"Bella...." Emmett sang. I turned to glare at him. RETARD! My father was right there! My heart skipped a beat, as Emmett realized his foolish mistake. I could feel my palms sweating.
"Bella?" My father asked with a raised eyebrow.
"What's that?" Emmett asked pointing at the box, trying to distract my father. Little did I know that it was better to talk about Bella than to talk about what was in that box.
Thunder beads. Freaking thunder beads. The fucking sex toy.
Bella.
Everyone stayed quiet as they stared at me, looking at the toy in my hand. I cleared my throat, the handcuffs weren't any better, they only made the situation worse.
The only sound was the hard, furious breathing of Carlisle, and Garrett's next word.
"Damn."
-:-
B.P.O.V
"Edward?" I called out. I had noticed his car was out front, and I was wondering what on earth he could be doing home. We were supposed to go see Zafrina in about an hour. Maybe that's why he's early. I was also nervous about the "present" I sent him. I stifled a laugh. Thank you Rosalie.
"Yes?" I heard his voice. My heart started racing as I entered the kitchen. He was there, with an apron around his waist as he cooked. I raised my eyebrow, leaning against the door frame. Are guys supposed to look hot in aprons?
"Hey." I heard him say as I looked up from his ass. I had been caught checking him out, and I could tell by the smug smile on his lips. I blushed, and looked away, a normal reaction.
He walked over to me, I could see that from the corner of my eye. He stopped in front of me, bent his head, and pecked me on the lips. I was stunned to say the least. What brought that on? Hey, I wouldn't mind it again.
"Um..." I mentally slapped myself. 'Ummm?' Could I be any dumber?
"I'm making spaghetti." He said with a smile. He was up to something. This I could see. I watched him warily.
"Are you alright?" I asked, suddenly wondering about the "present." He shrugged his shoulders.
"Perfectly fine." He grinned. Fine you are. I stared a bit too long at his perfectly plumped lips.
"Alright...I'm going to go take a shower, then we can head out to Zafrina's." I said, still watching him cautiously. He smiled.
"Take your time."
-:-
"Bella are you ready?" Edward called. I pulled the wedgie on my underwear again before pulling my shirt over my head. There was something uncomfortable about my underwear. This had been the third one I tried, until I decided it was probably just me.
"Bella!" He called again.
"Coming!" I shouted back. His impatience was pissing me off. Finally with a huff, and another tug at my lacy panties, I walked out.
-:-
"Are you alright Bella?" Zafrina asked. Edward coughed, stifling a chuckle all the way from the other end of the couch. I shifted in my seat again. My vagina was burning with itch and so was my ass.
What was with my underwear?
"Um..." I said, but kept shifting, the itchiness becoming unbearable. Zafrina fixed the glasses on her nose before taking them off, to study me better.
"Are you...." She trailed off, as I suddenly grinded on the edge of the leather couch. It was unbearable. I had to scratch it, but there was no other way. I wasn't just going to scratch down there in front of them. No way!
"I'm...fine." I said strained. She pursed her lips before continuing.
"So...how have you been doing? I mean there's barely complaints." She said to Edward. Edward's lips were in a straight line, and as I saw his eye twitching I knew why. He was trying not to laugh.
And that's when everything came crashing down on me. I jumped up.
"You son of a bitch! Itching powder?!" I shrieked. I'm. Going. To. Kill. Him.
"Thunder beads?!" He yelled back, all traces of laughter gone. Zafrina looked taken aback as we both stood on our feet.
"You're the one who put salt in the sugar-"
"-You put eggs in my shoe! And-"
"You put blue dye! I had blue hair for a week! You-"
"It was fake dye! You put IcyHot on the toilet paper-"
"Because you put honey in my hand cream bottle-"
"Because you put ham in my socks and-"
"-Hey! I only did that because you put a water balloon in my pillow! You-"
"Oh god Bella! Please. That's not as bad as what you did. I mean seriously? Sex toys? In the middle of a meeting?! That's harsh, and that's why you got this punishment!"
"I only did it because you-"
"Children!" Zafrina shrieked. She had gotten on her feet, standing probably an inch taller than Edward, and her usual calm expression was alert, stressed, and red. Edward and I shrinked back down until our asses landed back on the couch. We stared at our laps, me trying not to grind against the couch again. Zafrina took a couple deep breaths, before putting her glasses on and sitting as well.
"Now that's what I call progress." She said. My head snapped up to look at her along with Edward.
"Are you fucking screwing with me?" I asked. I immediately blushed as she looked at me with disapproval. Hey, I knew I shouldn't have cursed, but she had to be kidding me. What kind of progress is there here? I glanced at Edward, but he was just staring at me, his eyes glazed a bit. I glared at him before looking back at Zafrina.
"No, I'm not. I'm serious. This, this thing you guys just did? Yes, that gives us something to actually work with." She said with a serious tone.
Edward and I glanced at each other, and we both had the same thought.
This bitch is crazy.
