Note: I never really like explaining why I portray a character the way that I do or what I've done in the story (or will do) to make them evolve as I, very much, prefer your individual interpretations instead. However, it has been unanimously agreed upon that Edward needs help. It makes me happy to know that people are not brainlessly taken by knee-buckling, hot dudes.

Thank you to Fran for this chapter.

Music: Death Cab For Cutie - Your Heart Is An Empty Room


Opprobrium

Chapter 8: Phoenix

"I need to tidy up this messy place," I mumbled begrudgingly as I managed to hide everything that would give away my identity. "How smart of you Edward, to tell her a fake name."

'Son, I told you not to do anything stupid. But you always manage to rebel against my wishes,' my father would say.

"So you're back again," I mentioned. "Why do you keep disappearing when I actually need to ask you serious questions?"

'Well, if I'm inside your head and you ask questions that you don't have the answers to, how am I supposed to answer you?' Carlisle would reply with a sassy undertone.

"You have not changed a single bit," I stated. I imagined Carlisle letting out a hearty laugh.

I missed my father, every single day.

'Now, now, don't look so sad, all of a sudden,' Carlisle would joke. 'I'll always be here if you need me.'

I smiled through the blurry vision of my tears.

It was two hours later before I cleaned up the clutter of my man-cave. Jacob had also lived in similar disarray before he'd met Leah, who moved in and subsequently forced him to ditch the bachelor lifestyle.

Jake's pigsty existed no more.

Although my apartment would benefit from a nice makeover, the living conditions were quite decent and probably better than most apartments in the area; here was a guest bedroom that I set up for Bella. I cleaned my own room, just in case she fainted from the stench of a disorderly man's mess.

I wasn't ready to deal with the consequences of a fainting, pregnant woman.

The manuscripts and documents that were usually scattered over the couch were crammed into the drawers of a small desk in my room. She didn't need to know who I really was at this point, but she eventually would need to know. We were going to have a kid together.

I looked at my watch. Bella had texted me, saying that her plane would land at half-past three in the afternoon.

That was soon.

'You know... you could just get her to catch a cab to your place. Why are you trying to help her so much?' my father would say whilst kicking his feet up on my coffee table.

"Because..." I said aloud. "Because, she's pregnant with my child?"

I didn't wait for my head to formulate an appropriate response on Carlisle's behalf as I got into a taxi to head to JFK airport.

So how do you know she's actually pregnant with your kid? Mischief asked me with a snicker. Are you sure, it's not just your desperation after so many lonely years and an unpromising love life?

"I wish everyone would just leave me alone," I said with growing frustration.

"I know that feeling, pal," the cab driver said, breaking me out of my trance. "Welcome to the real world."


"Thank you so much for doing this," Bella said carefully, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

I wasn't able to take my eyes off her throughout the entire trip from the airport and back to my place. Hearing her voice did no justice. Her messy brown hair and natural blush made her seem real, as if she was an actual person.

Well, Sherlock, she is an actual person.

"Why do you keep staring at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"You look at me in a quizzical way, as if you're trying to figure me out," she said uncomfortably.

"Does that bother you?" I asked, genuinely interested.

"It rattles me a bit," she admitted.

"You're just... unusual," I said. "You have all these opposites within you. It's like you're... your own person."

Bella let out a hesitant laugh. The corners of my lips had lifted slightly before they went back down. She stared at me, wrinkling her eyes. "Everyone is their own person. We're all individuals. It's not going to do you any good to place me in some sort of rigid, categorical stereotype."

"Trust me, I'm not doing that. I think you've already astounded me enough to make me realize that you're different," I said with a chuckle.

"Good different or bad different?" she inquired.

"Somewhere in the middle," I responded. She nodded before looking away, staring at the art on my wall.

A calming quietness enveloped us. It felt as if we were at an art gallery, silently staring at the paintings with strangers all around us.

"Hey, I'll show you your room," I offered.

Bella started to walk around, looking at the ceiling and staring at the floor. Her fingertips lightly grazed the lampshade. Then, they danced their way over to the window, tracing the fabric of my curtains.

Turning towards me, she gave me a shy smile.

I led her to my room first, just to quench her possible curiosity. I'd rather give her a glimpse of my room than to risk her sneaking in there when I wasn't at home. I made a pathetic excuse of being embarrassed by how messy the bedroom was, so as to minimize the amount of time she had to peek at it.

I wasn't about to let her get to the bottom of my secrets.

No girl ever did.

I walked with her to the guest room where a single bed was situated against the wall.

"So you get the queen-sized bed while I get the single," she remarked, cracking her first joke. "Haven't you realized that there are two people here?"

She pointed to her face and then to her belly. I shrugged sheepishly.

"I'm just joking," she said. "You're kind enough to even let me stay here."

She walked in and sat down on the mattress, assessing the duvet that was folded on top of the sheets. I plopped down beside her and looked around. I had always planned to revamp the room and make it into a proper office, but now that Bella was here, all previous thoughts of renovation flew out of my mind.

I stared at her as her fingers played around with the blankets.

"Why did he kick you out?"

Although I still wasn't the biggest fan of Bella Swan, I was more connected to her than I was to her shameful father. She had a baby growing inside of her that would eventually be my son. I felt the need to have her under my care.

"He was disgusted that I was pregnant before I was married. He said that kicking me out would serve a valuable lesson for me."

I placed my hand under her chin, urging her to look at me. "It's not your fault, Bella. He has no idea what he's talking about."

It looks like Charlie maintains his motherfucker reputation.

Bella nodded before she turned away and placed her hands over her stomach in a protective manner. "Thank you, Masen."

"How about we go grab some dinner?" I suggested, finding it hard to breathe in the room. "Have you been to New York before?"

"Once, on a school trip," she replied.

Pausing, Bella licked her lips.

"I thought you were totally going to be the overprotective type."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, the type of daddy-to-be who forces the pregnant woman to stay where she is while he gets all the food and chores done," she said with a small laugh.

"I'm a quick learner."


"This place has delicious Chinese food," I said, opening the door for her, "Unless, you'd rather have Mexican."

"I've been craving noodles all day," Bella laughed. "Maybe, some soup, too. I think I need something light."

"You're in luck then," I said. "Let's get takeaway. I'm not eager to have you on your feet for too long."

"So you are turning into the overprotective type," Bella noted, tapping her chin with her forefinger.

"When you stop teasing me, I'll get you some Greek food, tomorrow night," I chuckled as I recalled Bella telling me her love for a diversity of food.

I felt myself blinking a little quicker every time she started to open up. A strange sense of anticipation filled my chest as I listened to what she had to say next.

As we waited in line, she continued to scrutinize me as questions sat on the tip of her tongue.

"Just spit it out, Swan," I said.

"Why are you being so kind to me?" she blurted out.

"Are you saying I shouldn't be nice to you?"

"No," she said. "I'm simply asking why you think I'm worthy of all this. You don't strike me as a guy who's nice to every single girl he meets. I'm curious, that's all."

"I'm sorry for giving you a bad impression of myself, Bella," I said quietly. "I didn't mean to be so heartless. I was... well, yeah, it was just a rough patch."

Bella stayed silent.


"You've been quiet," I told her, noticing how she'd look away from me every time I tried to get her to talk.

"I'm just tired," she said, feigning a yawn.

"Don't pull those fake yawns on me," I said, trying to lighten up the mood. "I used to do them all the time as a kid."

"What, like pretending to be asleep when you really aren't?" Bella said knowingly.

I looked down and smiled as I held the takeaway boxes in the plastic bag. I remembered a time when Esme would walk into my room to check if I'd fallen asleep or not. I would pretend to snore, but she always called me out. Gradually, I learned that by breathing out evenly with control, my parents weren't that hard to trick for a young schoolboy.

"I'm a pro at fooling people," I said, smirking at the double meaning behind my words.

"Oh really? Me too," Bella responded calmly.

A sudden pang of worry hit me.

Could she have been pretending to be asleep the morning I'd left her in that hotel room?

No... you're thinking too much, Cullen.

She gave me a side-glance as we continued to walk back home.

"Are you cold?" I asked. "Here, have my coat. It's chilly tonight."

I took off my coat and wrapped it around her petite frame. My dark, leather clothing engulfed her.

Suddenly, I heard hurried footsteps coming from behind me.

"Hey," a female voice called. "We had such a fun night but then you decided to disrespect me, you fucking asshole."

That voice sounded familiar.

I turned around to see an annoyed Tiana stomping towards me.

Crap.

Make haste.

"Hey, Tiana," I greeted awkwardly. "Funny seeing you here."

"Don't play games with me, pretty boy," she sneered, completely ignoring Bella. Jabbing at my chest, she snarled with resentment.

"I wasn't finished with you, the other night, Ed-"

"Okay, I think you're drunk and you should go home," I interrupted loudly, grabbing her by the elbow and leading her away.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked with a shrill cry. "Get your paws off me, Ed-"

"Stop saying my name," I growled in her ear. "Now go home before you make yourself look like a bigger idiot."

She huffed angrily as she glared at me, probably feeling annoyed that I was telling her what to do but also wondering if she should listen to my reasonable advice. Following a dilemma that lasted for a few seconds, she decided to walk away. After getting rid of Tiana, I turned around to see growing suspicion on Bella's features. She angled her head slightly, looking at Tiana's retreating form.

"Who was that?" she asked.

"Nobody," I lied. "Just a girl that I used to date and one who isn't very happy with me, as you just saw, unfortunately-"

"An ex," Bella stated with painful simplicity, effortlessly labeling Tiana without the word vomit that would be spewing out of my mouth.

"Yeah," I said, scratching my head.

I wondered exactly how long the calm would last, before the storm decided to strike me like a lightning bolt declaring my ruination.

She was a lot smarter than I thought.

She was wittier.

She was more observant.

Bella Swan was going to be the death of me.


Love, perpetually.