A/N: How on a roll am I?! This will be the last chapter for the day and probably for a couple days. Savor it ;) And, as always, please review!
Transfiguration felt like it lasted eons that morning. Throughout the entire hour and a half that it lasted, Albus felt like he was going to explode. This was a class that he didn't share with the Slytherins. And right now, that was what he desired. He just couldn't sit still because he couldn't see Scorpius Malfoy. His obsession was crippling and he honestly felt like he might die if Potions didn't come sooner.
He sat, fidgety, through lunch and watched the blonde pick at his salad. Every once in a while he would come across something that made his elegant, little button nose scrunch up in disgust. He would carefully pick it out, place it on a plate to his side and keep on eat. Each bite was careful and had purpose. Like he was trying to get the best parts in every bite.
"Stop staring at Malfoy," Rose said, giving him a sharp dig to his ribs. "You'll have to deal with him for a whole class period in just a short while. As daunting as that is, I don't understand why you can't keep your eyes off of him…."
Blushing, Albus quickly averted his eyes and shook his head furiously. "I'm…. I'm not staring at him. I'm just, um…dazing off a bit?"
"Whatever. He's trying to figure out who Malfoy slept with," Frank was quick to say, scratching at his chin and looking over his shoulder at the Slytherin table. When he turned back around, one of his cuts from that morning was leaking a small stream of blood.
His mouth dry, Albus grabbed his napkin and reached to wipe it off. Rose beat him to it, however, leaning over the table with her chest very exposed to Frank and her perfect ass stuck out a little bit. She smiled at the boy fondly, then set her finger to his chin and smeared the drop of blood off his skin. Clearly they had worked something out…. The way Frank looked back at Rose in return was like she was an absolute angel. And she stared at him in much the same way, except he was a hero to her.
"Well, if you're so interested, Allie," Rose said quietly, sitting back in her seat and wiping the blood onto a napkin, "just start thinking about it logically. Who in this school has the capacity to handle being in a bed with Malfoy scum?" she scoffed, standing and pulling her messenger bag up with her. "It can't be a rather large list, can it? Honestly, no girl I know could get past him to even begin to see that he's attractive."
"You think he's attractive?" Frank almost sounded hurt, but his expression wouldn't let on.
Rose shrugged, looking at the Slytherin table one last time before signaling that she was ready to leave. "That's not something you can deny, Frankie. Malfoy has generations of good genes passed down to him. He might be a git and an asshole. All those types of things. But he does have a good head of hair and a fit body."
Both boys stood to follow her, not saying a word on the subject. Albus could tell that his cousin kept looking at him, expecting him to agree with her. And he did, but he wasn't about to voice that fact out loud. He couldn't without incriminating himself. He knew if he began to talk about how much he loved the way Scorpius looked, he wouldn't be able to stop himself saying how he felt about the rest of him.
"What's the potion you two have to do?"
The instant they were in the dungeons, the excitement inside of Albus was threatening to burst. He had a bit of a spring in his step that he tried very hard to hide. He smiled and headed for the corner of the classroom he and Scorpius had sat last time. "The Fertility Salve."
Frank snorted, halting Al's steps. He turned to look at him, head cocked to the side in question. "The Fertility Salve? I hope he's not expecting you to test it in the end."
"Hahaha!" Albus replied in mock laughter, sticking his tongue out at his friend. "Maybe the two of you can test it for us instead?" He winked, ignoring the noise of outrage Rose made back at him. It was half-hearted, anyway. She laughed a moment later and everything was forgiven.
"We could test it, if that's what you wanted…." Scorpius, his voice as smooth as his obvious sneer. "It'd be like a new level to your game. Then you would have someone to shower your copious amounts of warm love and affection on someone." That pale face radiated mischief as Scorpius raised one of his perfectly manicured eyebrows in challenge.
In that one instant, Albus could remember why exactly he had hated this boy so much before they had kissed outside the library. He clenched his jaw, staring at the blonde in disbelief. He then turned his head away and practically slammed his bag down onto the table, sitting just as Scorpius did. They were so in-sync and he hated it.
And I thought I loved him….
"You're a fucking prat," Albus spat and pulled the leather-bound notebook out of his bag. He slid it across the table angrily, then turned forward to wait for Slughorn to come in and give them instructions. Though he was sure the only plans for today were to figure out plans for the group projects. He didn't want to have to spend that much time with this pig.
"And you're a drama queen. I was only teasing." Scorpius leaned in closer to Albus, pretending like he was leaning down to scratch at his ankle. "Or would you prefer I take you on this table right now in front of the entire class? Would that be more to your liking? Because…I thought you would prefer that I just pretended like nothing has changed between the two of us…." He straightened up, giving a wicked, toothy grin before pushing the journal back towards his partner. "I already have one. You keep yours…."
Professor Slughorn came in to the classroom, then, taking note that everyone was in their individual groups. He didn't seem to think he needed to bother with any sort of directing and merely sat down at his desk with a book. He looked up every once in a while, checking to make sure everything was copasetic.
"Thanks…," Albus said quietly, shaking his head to try and clear the cloudiness the Slytherin's breath had inflicted upon his mind. "Um...I saw the schedule this morning." He opened up to the first page of the book, scanning the dates and instructions again. "This is impressive work…." And just like that, with only a minimal explanation, Al was back to being a lovestruck schoolboy again. How could one person have such intense power over another?
Scorpius nodded, pulling his cauldron in between them. He had the instruction book for the potion close at hand and was scanning the first few steps. "We should get started with this. My timeline depends upon it." Close at hand, he had a few ingredients, one of which he reached for without even looking. His eyes were entirely focused on the book, finger scanning words on the page as his lips formed the words. Albus watched him in raptured delight, pretending to be reading the page as well.
"Stop staring at me," Scorpius hissed the instant he noticed. His eyes were narrowed, but he still seemed…almost pleased. Probably because he liked the attention. "You're not playing this whole thing very coy, you know. Your friends are bound to find out. And then what?" He looked up finally from the book, levelling the Gryffindor with a warning look. Too many of those and Al wouldn't be able to keep his feelings secret for very much longer….
"Stop looking so stunning, then," Albus whispered back, forcing himself to look down again. He wore a small blush, though he wasn't sure if it was from being caught or from actually feeling embarrassed that he'd actually said that aloud. "Sorry…." He bit his lip, flipping pages in the journal and still finding nothing else written. "Um…can we talk about this mysterious book?"
With a sigh, Scorpius forced himself to look up from his work. "It's a spell I devised. You write in the book, then close the cover…and it gets sent to mine." He nodded towards a stack of books to his side and Albus craned to look. There on the top sat a red version of his journal, Scorpius' name burned into the cover the same way. "If you don't wipe what you write before closing the cover, it will send whether you want it to, or not. And then we'll both be left with the evidence. So choose your words wisely. And don't send me love letters."
A subtle dig at the other night, no doubt. Albus cringed and snapped the book shut before shoving it in his bag again. "Don't expect any. Because I don't, and won't ever, love you." He smiled sickly and grew quiet.
There were a million and one things he wanted to ask, wanted to say…. But he didn't want anyone to hear. He didn't even know how to begin talking about what had happened that weekend! He most definitely didn't even know if they were supposed to be acknowledging it outside of closed quarters….
The top thing he wanted to ask was why Scorpius had left the next morning without saying anything. It weighed on him – had he been that bad that he couldn't stand to be around him for the morning after? Or was he just doing his duty of keeping the whole love and sex thing separate? That was how it was supposed to be, after all. Date, sex, leave. The other things…they weren't supposed to happen. He'd almost messed that up. So he should have expected that kind of reaction, really. He should have expected some distance to be forced between them.
But at the same time…. He was falling fast and it was hard to handle.
He'd never felt like this before.
"Are you going to contribute today?" Scorpius asked nonchalantly, looking around the room before looking into Albus' eyes. The two of them – emerald and silver – connected for the briefest of moments, neither breathing, neither moving, neither looking away. Something magical pulsed between them – almost glowing and physically warming the air around them. If it had gone on any longer than a few seconds, Albus was sure people would notice. Luckily, the blonde had enough sense to break the contact swiftly and looked down at the table again. "Or are you going to stand there and make bedroom eyes at me this entire time?"
Through the rest of the class period, Albus found it increasingly difficult to keep to himself. His hands started to wander partway through, reaching over to look at the instruction book first. He just barely brushed their hands together then. After that, he would gently brush their knees together, intentionally swat away the other's hand in order to touch him, and even got so brave as to squeeze his leg when he performed a step well.
He was losing control over his every move.
Never in Albus' life had he been so grateful for the end of a class period. He'd been so excited to just get here and now…he felt if he stayed any longer, he would lose himself completely. He honestly couldn't wait to get to History of Magic and hear Professor Binns droll on and on for the next hour and a half. He knew he'd even take notes – anything to forget what was happening. Anything to keep himself detached.
"Make sure to read the schedule. We don't have class again until Friday, but I do have something planned for nearly every day. We'll meet at our table in the library." Scorpius muttered an incantation over the cauldron, sealing off the pinkish vapors it was currently emitting. "I'll keep the potion until then." He gave the barest of smiles, gathered the rest of his things, and was gone.
Taking Al's heart with him.
Sighing deeply, Albus continued to sit at the table. He felt like he had the other night – when Scorpius had so violently pulled out of him. He felt empty and abandoned. Fearful. Groaning, he allowed his head to thunk heavily down upon the tabletop.
"One class down, how many more to go?" Frank gently prodded his friend's shoulder. "Merlin, you looked like you were in hell all class period."
"I was," Albus croaked out, raising his head and flashing a small, frustrated smile up at both Frank and Rose. "C'mon, let's go. He left behind this lingering stench of righteousness and I'm eager to be away from it."
They both laughed and Albus knew he was safe. No one noticed the way they would occasionally look at one another – like they knew every crack and crevice of each other's inner soul. Or was that just Al's imagination? He felt like he knew Scorpius inside-out, but maybe the other boy didn't know or care. He most likely didn't feel the same way. Perhaps his looks were fuller of heated lust. Imagining what he would do next time they were in a compromising position. Even that, though….
Shivering, Albus grabbed his things, making sure to keep a skin-to-leather hold upon the journal. It warmed under his touch for a few seconds, his name on the front glowing like embers again. He frowned at it, dying to know what it meant. But he had to settle for sneaking a peek later. He didn't want his friends asking questions.
You're too obvious. Don't you know how to keep a secret? Don't you know you could ruin a lot of things if anyone found out about this bargain you have devised?
You're not supposed to fall for me. This is supposed to be fake. If you keep insisting upon touching me and flirting with me, I will have to call this off. Get your act together, Potter. I understand that you're new to this whole…sex without love thing. However, that is not an excuse. You wanted to do this. You need to do it the way we agreed.
Albus kept reading the words over and over again. He held the journal hidden within his massive History of Magic textbook. No one would ever notice. They might take notice to the fact that Albus looked like he wanted to punch something. His face was slightly red and he just glared at each and every word Malfoy had written to him.
Everything he had done in Potions class, the looks the gentle touches – they meant nothing to Scorpius. It was just as he'd expected and feared. He meant nothing. He was a conquest. And why should that surprise him? He kept telling himself that this was just a deal they had worked out. That if nothing ever came of it, he would be fine. Why did he tell himself that? He obviously didn't mean it.
There was no denying it – not to himself, anyway – Albus Severus Fucking Potter was falling for Scorpius (Whatever His Middle Name Was) Fucking Malfoy. He was falling hard and fast and it wasn't something he could ignore. He was completely lost in everything that blonde git said and did. And he meant nothing…. They both knew this from the start, and somehow he just couldn't follow the guidelines.
When he had said that he'd loved Scorpius, with him powering over him that night, with their skin sliding against one another, with their mouths crushed and feeding off one another's breathe and moans and wine-drenched teeth, he had meant it.
He knew that. He was going to accept that. But with that acceptance came a pain he hadn't ever wanted to feel again. He felt used and betrayed and just wanted to die. Depression was filling his stomach and he wanted to vomit it up. He wanted to stay in bed and not talk to anyone for days and eat chocolate until he made himself sicker. This was how Aubadon and the two unimportant boys before him had made him feel. This time was supposed to have been different. He wasn't supposed to get attached like this so he couldn't get hurt like this.
He must have been pretty pathetic to knowingly put himself in such a position. Again.
A wave of nausea overcoming him, Albus closed the journal and slid it out of the book. He set it aside, looking at the see-through professor. He looked past him to the board, took a mental note of where they were in history, and laid his head back and stared at the ceiling. He drowned the ghost out with his own thoughts, knowing he could teach himself better later anyhow.
"Allie, let's go. Class is over." Albus was jerked back to life. His eyes opened, pulling him out of the almost-hypnotic dazed state he'd forced himself to be in. It was trick he'd forced himself to learn during his parents' divorce. If he couldn't see the world, couldn't hear the world…why should he have to fear the world? He looked up at Rose, nodding and gathering his things.
Another day over. Another day to tell him just what a mess he was. Another day that showed him just how much he hated to live and hated to be him.
"You gonna come down and watch us practice tonight, Rose?"
Albus looked up at Frank, his eyes wide, over his dinner. How had he gotten to dinner? Was he so out of it that he was losing time? "We have Quidditch practice tonight," he said plainly.
"Uh…yeah. Every Monday and Thursday. You sure you're alright, Al?" Both Frank and Rose were looking at him now like he'd grown two heads. This was the same practice schedule they'd had all four years he'd been on the team.
"Perfectly fine!" Albus said, and he sort of meant it this time. He had been afraid he'd have to Scorpius tonight. After that snide note in their special, stupid journals, he wasn't sure he could face that beautiful, self-righteous face tonight. And now he didn't have to! It was perfect and for once he was more than eager to go to practice. Under the table, he took the journal out from inside of his robes and scrawled a note before snapping it shut again. When he looked up at his friends, he wore a shit-eating grin and ate more beef stew than was possible for a boy his size.
Quidditch practice tonight. Deal without me.
"Saturday's match was atrocious!" Her red hair whipping behind her wildly in the mild, fall wind, Lily paced in front of her team. She looked scary with her narrowed, bright brown eyes and her arms crossed across her chest. She wasn't a large girl – sure she had been growing into her curves – but she sure could be intimidating when she wanted to be. No doubt a trait she had inherited from her mother. "None of you performed up to par. I'm half-tempted to scrap this entire team and start over. But then I'm sure I'd just be worse off than I already am…." She sighed, stopping in front of everyone and flailed her hands up into the air. "What happened? Somebody please explain to me what happened!"
No one opened their mouth. All six players looked at their shoes, the darkening sky, the bleachers. Anywhere they didn't have to take accountability.
Albus especially couldn't meet his sister's gaze. He knew he had been distracted on Saturday and there had been no excuse for it. He was ashamed of what he'd nearly done to his team, his house, his sister who was supposed to admire him. More than anything at this second, he was very grateful he hadn't spat those hateful words he'd been thinking of in the common room. He probably wouldn't be sitting here any longer if he had.
"Fine," Lily spat, sitting heavily down upon the grass. Her skirt flew up with the wind for a moment, but she quickly drew her robes around her, unfazed. "We will all sit here and go position by position to figure it out. Starting with Seeker." She stared pointedly at Albus, waiting for an explanation.
If she had been anyone but his little sister, Al might have felt intimidated. But he just didn't. He sighed and shrugged, also taking a seat upon the cold pitch. They were losing light to practice in, but if this was the way she wanted things…. "I dunno, Lily. Maybe we underestimated the Slytherins. Or maybe we weren't ready. I suppose I didn't perform to my best ability. Is that what you want me to say? I'll take accountability for that. But ultimately I did catch the Snitch and we won."
"By the skin of our teeth, Albus! That's no acceptable! When James ran this team…." Their brother James had been the captain before he'd graduated. Lily had taken over right after and she'd always seemed to feel she needed to measure up. To prove herself. "When James ran this team, they were flawless and always won by miles. With half the team being the same, why aren't we still winning?" Lily let out a breath through her nose, rolled her eyes at her brother, and looked away. She must have decided his answer was satisfactory. He was off the hook – for now. "Beaters, then. Where'd you go wrong?"
The rest of the team had seated themselves by now. None of them looked too excited to be doing this exercise as they kept looking over at their abandoned brooms. But they seemed like they would cooperate. Their next match wasn't for a month, anyhow.
Frank was one of the Beaters. He was eagerly picking at the grass between his crossed legs. He shot a small look over at Al, clear annoyance in his caramel-colored eyes. The other beater, Alfred Bell, didn't say a word, either. Neither seemed too keen to share. Beaters weren't really…talkers, though. It was clear in the way they both fidgeted that they'd rather be whacking things with their bats.
"If none of you are going to take this seriously…." Lily's voice broken and suddenly everyone's eyes were back on her. She looked away quickly, but not before they saw one tear slide down her cheek. She took a few deep breaths, wiped at her face, then turned back to them with her eyes wild again. "If you won't take it seriously, I'll cancel this practice. You all can go back to whatever is more important than this team and be happy, little children again. Is that what you want?"
No!
Albus stood quickly, looking down at everyone in desperation. Someone needed to speak…. If he left practice, he had nowhere else to go but the library to help Scorpius…. He didn't want that! "Come on, guys!" he said on little more than a whisper. The rest of his words, however, were closer to shouts than whispers. "Someone else say something! We all did our fair share in nearly losing!"
Still, no one spoke up. Lily looked up at Albus with a small shake to her head, almost as if to say it wasn't worth it. He sighed heavily, stalking off to the Firebolt still hovering where he'd left it. "See? Albus cares?" he heard Lily say after he'd started to walk off. "I want the rest of you to write me an apology letter before next practice. Since you're cowards." She scoffed and soon Al could hear her scurrying along behind him.
It wasn't long before his sister caught up to him, huffing angrily beside him as she tried to match his quick pace. "Thanks for trying to stand up for me," she said gratefully to him, just as they came to the Entrance Hall. "Half of them are brainless, spineless arses anyway." She attempted a smile, which he could only half-return. "What?" she asked, reading him like an open book. Why was everyone able to do that?
"Nothing," he mumbled, gripping angrily at the broom handle. "I just really could have used a good practice tonight…. Now I have to go work with fucking Malfoy on our fucking Potions project." He groaned, hating the way his heart skipped a beat at the thought of being alone with that stupid boy.
"Oh…sorry," Lily offered up an apologetic smile, but it was too late. The deed had been done and he had to go through with the reaction. "Um…if he gets annoying, you can always start to offer him spiked drinks? Maybe that'd relax that stick up his ass." She giggled gently, surprising her elder brother with a sweet hug. Clearly their fight from the other night was completely forgotten. Something Albus would never understand…. How did people just forget their emotions that easily? He was still slightly ticked off at her…was she not with him? "Oh, Hugo!" Al flinched, watching her run off like he was a thing of the past towards the boy with the brilliant red hair. "Don't have too much fun, Allie!"
"Right…."
Albus took the walk up to the third floor as slowly as he could. He was hoping maybe he could reach the library late enough that it would close. He wasn't sure how far eight o'clock was…but it was most likely not any time soon. No amount of dawdling could save him at this point.
He walked into the library, head bowed and slightly nervous. He still had on his practice robes and noted that he still carried the Firebolt. Blushing, he tucked it behind his back before taking the labyrinthine path towards Scorpius' study corner. And just like a faithful guard dog, there he sat. He had the cauldron sitting on the desk beside where he was scribbling on a piece of parchment. He didn't even look up when Albus entered, but instead pulled out the seat beside him.
A seat Albus didn't dare take. He swallowed hard before propping the broomstick up on a bookshelf and took the chair across from Scorpius instead. Startled, the Slytherin looked up with a questioning gaze that masked his tired eyes. How long had he been sitting here studying? "Quidditch practice was…cut short," he said with a purposeful tone of disdain. Two could play the cold shoulder game.
"You're mad at me, now," Scorpius observed, pushing the chair beside him back against the table rather violently. He leaned closer to Albus, pushing his fingers into the mess of black hair atop his hair to push it out of his eyes. For a moment, he just searched the green orbs, trying to figure something out. Al tried to wriggle away, but the grip on his hair was so tight that moving brought tears of pain to his eyes. "Are you mad because I called you out for flirting…or because you're mad I assumed you were?"
His teeth bared ferally, Albus grabbed at Scorpius' arm with his nails bearing down. "Let go of me, Malfoy. I'm not in the fucking mood." The only movement the other boy made was to reposition himself, his fingers tightening around the haphazard black locks. His raised a brow in challenge – one Albus was eager to meet. He growled low in his throat, eerily similar to the one he'd aimed at Frank that morning. Soon following was a reckless action he'd not thought through.
His teeth latched onto the pale forearm just barely in his reach, pulling his hair painfully. He wanted to scream and reach for his head. Wanted to make sure he hadn't lost chunks, but the black strands left in Scorpius clenched fist as he pulled away told him not to. "Did you just fucking bite me?" Scorpius snarled, running his fingers over the deep imprint of Albus' teeth on his arm. There were two pinpricks of blood from the other's bottom canines. The Slytherin ran the pad of his thumb across them, smearing the tiny droplets.
When he looked up at Gryffindor across from him, Scorpius Malfoy had more passion in eyes than Albus thought capable for someone so heartless. He held his ground, hand on his wand and preparing himself with mental curses. He didn't want to fight in the library…but if he had to….
It seemed fighting was the last thing on the other's mind, however. He launched himself forward, sure, arms out towards Albus. But Scorpius didn't wrap them around his neck. He didn't punch him or kick out at him. Instead, his fingers tangled again in Al's hair, tenderly cradling his skull rather than tugging him into submission. He pushed the other up against a stack of books, causing a few to come crashing down on their heads.
The pair paid them no mind. Albus was already buckling under the weight of Scorpius' lips soon upon his. He keened for him, reaching back to grip his shoulder blades and bring him closer. He couldn't make sense of what was happening or what he was feeling in that moment. He'd have to try and understand the bloodlust he'd seen in those gorgeous grey eyes later when he relived this moment alone. But for now…this needed to just be this. They needed to live in the moment.
The moment where Scorpius ground hard against Albus' leg and he couldn't stop himself from answering with a bite to his shoulder to stifle a moan. The bite fueled the other on further and…he just didn't know why. All he knew was he didn't want it to stop. Ever.
