Underwear.

Head Girl, Hermione Granger, stealthily made her way to the small underwear shop in Hogsmeade. Her situation was getting out of hand, and if she didn't buy herself some new underwear soon, she would be forced to attend lessons without underwear. It wasn't that Hermione hadn't arrived at Hogwarts with any underwear, it was just that her secret boyfriend, Draco Malfoy, had a tendency to ruin them. If he didn't rip her knickers, he pocketed them as a souvenir.

Slipping into the shop undetected, Hermione browsed the shelves and sorted herself some new underwear. In the end she spent far more than she'd intended, but she couldn't resist buying a few sexier pieces. Slipping her new purchases into a larger bag from the bookshop, so no-one would see she'd been in the lingerie shop and started asking questions, Hermione headed off to join her friends for lunch.

After lunch the group went their separate ways. Harry and Ginny headed off to spend the afternoon together, while Ron joined up with Dean and Seamus with the intention of heading to the quidditch shop to browse the new stock. Meanwhile, Hermione decided she would just head back up to school. When she'd left that morning, Draco hadn't had any plans to do anything, so she might be able to spend a few hours with her boyfriend.

By the time Hermione reached the castle, she was eager to spend the afternoon with Draco. She might even model some of her new underwear for him. Of course that was after she'd given him a lecture about how much she'd had to spend replacing the underwear he'd either torn or stolen. Entering the head dorms, Hermione found Draco sitting on the sofa, idly flicking through a quidditch magazine.

"Hey," he greeted, looking up at Hermione and smiling at her. "Did you get anything nice?"

"Just some underwear," Hermione replied as she pulled out the bag containing her lingerie. "Do you have any idea how much I spent on this lot?"

"No idea," Draco quickly answered, his eyes sliding across to the alcove that led to the small kitchen. "Maybe you could tell me later."

"Oh no you don't," Hermione said with a tut, taking Draco's shadiness as him trying to wriggle out of trouble. "This is all your fault. You're the reason I've had to go and buy more underwear."

"Sorry," Draco replied, flashing Hermione a quick smile.

"Instead of sorry, you could try giving me back the underwear you've stolen," Hermione continued, getting on a roll. "I know you can't replace the ones you've ripped, but you don't rip all my knickers. Some you just pocket. I've tried searching your room for them, but they have to be in your trunk as that's the only place in your room that is locked."

"You've searched my room?" Draco questioned, surprised by the revelation.

"I was desperate," Hermione answered with a shrug. "I was running late for Potions, and you had all my underwear. The rest were all either ripped or in the wash."

"So if you didn't find any in my room, what did you do?"

"I transfigured one of my bras into a pair of knickers," Hermione admitted. "My only option was going without, and knowing my luck I would have bent down and flashed the class, or worse Snape."

"That could have been amusing," Draco said with a chuckle.

"No, it would have been mortifying," Hermione protested. "And if that happened, I never would have forgiven you. I'd rather the whole school didn't know that you've either torn or stolen my entire underwear collection."

"It's certainly something I could have gone my whole life without knowing," an amused voice drawled from the kitchen alcove.

Hermione whirled round and paled when she spotted the Potions Professor, Severus Snape, standing in the alcove. The smirk he was wearing could almost rival the one her boyfriend usually wore.

"Professor Snape," Hermione stuttered, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment. "How long have you been there?"

"The entire time," Snape replied. "And before you ask, I heard everything."

"Why didn't you warn me?" Hermione hissed at her boyfriend.

"I tried," Draco answered with an unconcerned shrug. "You just wouldn't listen. You were intent on making me feel guilty for ruining your underwear."

"And that didn't work," Hermione snorted. "You're not at all bothered, are you?"

"I'll make it up to you," Draco promised with a wicked smirk.

"Not while I'm still here," Snape interrupted. "In fact, I think I'll be going. I've heard more than enough this afternoon."

"Professor Snape," Hermione called as the Potions Professor strode towards the door of the common room. "You won't tell anyone what you heard, will you?"

"What do you think I'm going to do, run down to the staff room and inform the other Professors that the Head Boy had a penchant for stealing the Head Girl's underwear?" Snape asked with an arched eyebrow. "There's no need to panic, Miss Granger," he added with a chuckle as Hermione looked at him with wide eyes, unsure if he was joking or not. "I won't breathe a ward about what I heard. Although Draco, I would recommend you control yourself in future. People will talk if they find you have a trunk full of ladies undergarments."

"And just how will they find out?" Draco asked with narrowed eyes.

"I do tend to get a bit loose lipped when I drink too much firewhisky, and it just so happens that tonight I'm going to the manor for dinner, and you know your father always has the best liquor on offer," Snape replied, a mischievous twinkle in his dark eyes.

"What do you want?" Draco asked with a sigh, knowing when he was being blackmailed.

"How kind of you to offer your assistance, Draco," Snape said with a sly smirk. "I've got a few first years in detention on Monday evening. I don't like first years, so I would be very grateful if you watched them while I spent my evening doing something much more pleasurable."

"Done," Draco reluctantly agreed.

"I'll see you in my classroom at seven," Snape said breezily as he said his final goodbyes and exited the head dorms.

"Wow," Hermione remarked when Snape was well and truly gone from their sight. "Until now, I've never truly appreciated just how sly Snape is. He's a true Slytherin."

"Yes, he is," Draco agreed with a nod. "So now it looks like I've got first years in detention to look forward to on Monday."

"Poor thing," Hermione chuckled. "I'll make it up to you. I can give you a fashion show of what I've bought. Some of it is very skimpy, and I'm not sure I can pull it off."

"I'm sure you can," Draco replied with a grin. "And I promise, no more tearing. I'll be careful."

"And stealing?" Hermione questioned.

"Now, that I can't promise not to do," Draco said with a smirk. "Although I will have to find a new place to stash my haul. I wouldn't put it past Severus to let it slip to Father just for the fun of it."

"I'd still appreciate it if you didn't steal every pair of knickers I own," Hermione argued as she grabbed her bag of shopping. "Or else one day, I really will have to go to classes without any underwear on."

"Easy access, I like the sound of that," Draco joked.

"Watch it," Hermione warned. "Or I'll be taking your undies."

"Makes no difference to me, I don't wear them half the time," Draco replied with a shrug.

Hermione chuckled, knowing that Draco was right. The majority of the time when he undressed, he hadn't bothered with underwear.

"So, I was promised a fashion show," Draco prompted. "It wasn't an empty promise, was it?"

"No," Hermione replied with a smile. "Let's go upstairs."

Hermione took hold of her boyfriend's hand and led him upstairs, where they headed into Draco's room. True to her word, Hermione modelled her new purchases for her boyfriend. And true to his word, Draco didn't rip any of her underwear when he helped her get out of them. He also didn't steal any, although Hermione knew that wouldn't last. Sooner or later, he'd manage to nab some of her underwear and in a few months she'd have to go and buy a whole new bunch. Although maybe next time, she could take Draco with her and he could pay for some of the underwear. After all, it was only because of him that she now had to spend extra money on lingerie.