History by Firelight

(A/N: This is officially the longest chapter I've ever written for anything before. Warning: Triggering subject matter all the way through from referenced physical and sexual abuse to depression, cutting, and suicidal thoughts. I've bumped it up to an M rating, though that might not be necessary. Let me know if you think it should stay at an M rating.)

It was dark out, now. James was speaking quietly with Meowth as the duo reminisced about the old days before Team Rocket, Meowth trying to understand why things had happened as they'd happened in their mutual past; however, James, for the first time in all the years they'd been teamed up, was being surprisingly evasive and doing an efficient job at it. Meowth didn't trust that. James was never closed when it came to him and Jessie. The guy's life was like an open book. Or so it had seemed until now. Actually, looking back maybe James had always been closed off about his past. Possibly even more than them. After all, they hadn't even known he was rich or engaged to be married until he'd been forced to admit it. They'd known nothing of his grandparents, nothing of his summer homes, nothing of anything, really, until James chose to open to them or was pushed to. Even Jessie was more forthcoming.

All ten of them were gathered around the fire they'd made, gazing into the flames quietly as they cooked a package of hog dogs Attila had grabbed from his uncle's kitchen. Meowth yawned and curled up to try and snooze, admittedly kind of reassured by the presence of the whole group, and a comfortable silence had fallen upon them all.

"What a fight," Butch finally remarked, growing tired of the silence.

"I suppose," Jessie replied quietly, brushing her hair out. Well, that conversation was a bust.

"The sooner we get out of this place the better," James said, looking nervously around. "The Black Hills make me uneasy." He wasn't sure why that was so. It was just one of those things he guessed. Maybe. On the bright side, at least he'd rescued the conversation. Probably at his expense. Sure enough…

"What doesn't make you uneasy?" Cassidy bit. Jessie glared at her enemy growling in annoyance, silently warning her to back off James while she still had the chance.

"Like it or not, you four are all stuck together along with us, so you might as well try and make the best of it," Tyson said, glancing up at them warningly. They grimaced and fell silent.

"You probably just don't know how to navigate the Black Hills. Once you get used to it, it's a real nice place," Attila said. "There's no reason to feel nervous, James."

"I suppose," James answered.

Butch sighed in annoyance as he drew pictures in the dirt with a stick while leisurely smoking a cancer stick. "Isn't a fire in a barn dangerous?" he asked after a bit.

"Fitch has a point," Jessie said.

"How many times do I gotta tell you? It's Butch!" Butch yelled. He began coughing and covered his mouth. Oh boy, he had to watch those blow-ups when he was in the middle of a cigarette.

"It's fine. I know how to handle it," Attila brushed off.

"We should find some way to pass the time. It's too early to sleep, we're in no shape to go exploring, so how do we make the best of this?" Domino said after the silence had dragged on too long for her liking.

"Well… we could maybe share a little bit about ourselves?" Annie suggested. "If we're going to be working in tandem for a while, it would probably be a good idea. A team building exercise. I mean for people who've worked on the same team for years, we sure don't know much about one another."

Butch snorted. "What if there's nothing to tell?" he asked.

"Well everyone who's anyone has a backstory," Annie defended.

"What if it ain't a backstory worth sharin'?" Butch challenged, sharply looking up at Annie, eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What do you mean?" Oakley wondered curiously.

"If I haven't even told Cassidy much about my past, what makes you think I'm gonna tell any of you dopes?" Butch demanded.

"Hah! As if you would have any secrets worth keeping," Attila taunted. He knew how Butch worked. His insult would be perceived as a challenge. Butch did not refuse challenges. He doubted the guy had any dirt in his past that was worth digging up, but if he did he was very curious.

Sure enough, Butch looked sharply at Attila, eyes glittering. "Oh yeah? Wanna bet?!" he demanded.

"Name your price," Attila replied.

"If I talk about my past, you all talk about yours," Butch stated.

Silence reigned for a long, long time. Butch began to relax and smirk, sure he'd won this round. Unfortunately for him, he underestimated the curiosity of the others. "You know what? I'm in if everyone else is," Cassidy said first, glaring challengingly at their teammates. Hey, what was the harm in 'omitting' some pieces of the past? It wasn't like anyone would know any better. She didn't have to share anything she wasn't comfortable sharing.

"Huh?" they all said together, say for Hun.

Eyes narrowing, Jessie replied, "You're on, Cassidy."

"I think I'll watch from the sidelines this time around," James said.

"You'll do it, Jameson, or so help me I'll turn you inside out!" Jessie snapped, leaning intimidatingly over him.

James cried out in terror. "All right, all right!" he exclaimed, buckling to her wrath. Besides, there were many things that had happened in his past that wouldn't be too hard to keep quiet, should he feel the need. Curious, Meowth opened a sleepy eye. Raticate yawned, having been awoken, and looked coldly around at the humans as he tried to sleep again.

"You have the field, Butch. Dazzle us with your secrets," Oakley tauntingly said, wiggling her fingers in the air like she was doing magic. She'd soon enough regret goading him into doing so…

PKMN

For a long time, Butch was silent, absently doodling in the sand. For a moment they thought he'd tuned them out. Maybe that would be for the best too, because in all honesty none of them wanted to open up about themselves. Soon, though, he took a long drag of his cigarette and slowly blew out the smoke in a stream as he tapped off the ash, pondering his words. Finally, he said, "I was four years old when my mother died. My old man was into heavy drinking, chain smoking, hard-core drugs, you know the deal. He liked to get rough. Very, very, very rough… It was like… it was like he didn't even understand the pain and the terror he was inflicting on us, or the ideas that he was pounding into me… Then it was like he did, but he didn't care and just started feeding on it… Night my mom died he was blackout drunk. I don't remember what I did, but I musta ticked him off big time because I definitely remember what he did… If my mom hadn't come to my rescue, I wouldn't be here today… Instead she's not…"

Cassidy caught her breath, catching on instantly and looking shocked, Hun raised an eyebrow. The others started in surprise, taken aback at the bluntness of his opening and stunned at the nature of it. Butch ignored the gazes and continued. "Let's see… I was five when I first got drunk. The old man had passed out after a binge. I got thirsty. Couldn't wake him up to get me a glass of water or somethin', but I found an open bottle full of what I figured was pop or juice. Can't blame a kid for tryin'. I downed it and regretted it. I was throwing up everywhere. Couldn't stop. Nothing made sense, and everything was moving. I couldn't see straight, I could hardly move, and I was scared outta my wits. I was screaming and crying, but dad didn't even hear. I passed out on the floor. If I'd been lucky I would've died of alcohol poisoning. I wasn't lucky. In coming years I'd look back on that day and think of how much more of a blessing it would have been if I had died on that floor."

"What?" Cassidy hissed, immediately concerned about this sort of thinking.

Butch shrugged casually as if it were nothing. "Woke up to the old man screaming his fool head off at me, his face purple; not in fear, oh no, but in rage. He was ticked I'd drank his last bottle before he could get to it. Dragged me into my room, pulled down my pants, and beat me until my body was numb. He threw me across the room and stormed out while I was left screaming and sobbing and clutching a broken arm." He took a deep draw on his cigarette and blew out the smoke slightly shakily. "I was six first time I did a drug. Bunch of the old man's friends came over for a party or somethin'. They were talkin' about me, but I didn't know why. They were too quiet to hear. They watched me though. Closely. Too closely, if you catch my drift."

Jessie covered her mouth, indeed catching on. Hun looked sharply over, eyes narrowed. James had stiffened, and Cassidy was unable to tear her eyes away from her partner. The others' mouths were hanging open. "And then?" Hun prompted guardedly.

"One of his dumb ass friends came on over to me and offered me some white 'candy'. Guy was tame compared to the rest of them… I think there might even have been sympathy in his eyes. Maybe protection… Don't matter anymore anyway. He told me to eat up and that it would numb me completely to what the others intended to do to me later. I didn't get it, but I had felt my father's iron hand, so I assumed they would be hitting and punching and kicking me. I didn't plan on stickin' around for that noise. I took my 'candy' and escaped from the house the moment I got the opportunity. Went into the woods where I knew they couldn't find me. I had a secret spot out there that my mother and I had found when she was still alive… It was a special place for only her and me… Anyway, the 'candy' was all I had to eat and I was starvin'. Dad wasn't much of a cook. In fact, half the time he was starving us, and I was left to my own devices, scrounging up whatever garbage I could find, even pokémon food. I ate the candy and started feeling… different. Different in a way that seemed good but was also bad; I didn't trust feelings like that. I passed out after doing a bunch of stupid, crazy shit that I can't remember to this night, then slept until around noon the next day. When I returned, guess who was waitin' with his belt out and at the ready?"

"Butch…" Jessie said, but she had no other words.

"I… I never knew…" Cassidy said, looking at the ground in shock.

"Wasn't planning on telling you this much, just… when it starts coming it kind of pours out of you, ya know?" he replied with a shrug. "I was also six when I had my first cigarette. Never stopped smoking from that day on. Alcohol tasted like garbage and I didn't like gettin' sick. Drugs made me feel out of control of my own mind and happy but helpless. I liked that feeling even less. I mean sure I got drunk. Often, in fact. Even did drugs now and then. Disillusioned myself into thinking drugs and alcohol helped dull the pain I felt emotionally and physically, but they got old real quick. I switched to smoking to calm down when things were getting to be too much…" He stopped drawing on the ground. They looked at what he'd been doodling. It appeared to be a bunch of tick marks. "Wanna know what this is?" he asked.

"Hmm, I don't believe we do," James grimly said.

"For once you got somethin' right… One mark for every bone my father broke," Butch bitterly growled, eyes sparkling furiously.

"Wow…" Oakley said, massaging her temples and grimacing.

"Butch…" Annie said, voice sympathetic.

"Mmm hmm," Butch murmured. Suddenly he dropped the twig and reached up to a sleeve, pulling it all the way up as far as it could go, holding it out.

"Oh Arceus!" Cassidy exclaimed in horror, covering her mouth with eyes wide in dread and shock.

"What the hell man?!" Tyson freaked.

"You think that's bad?" Butch asked. He pulled up the other sleeve too and Cassidy let out a strangled cry.

"Shit…" Attila breathed.

"One scar for every time my old man beat me," Butch said, jaw setting and eyes blazing. "And then one night I fought back… I fought back, but he was stronger than me. The old man nearly bashed in my skull. Then he threw me outside probably hopin' I'd freeze to death or finish myself off. Almost gave him the satisfaction. Almost. Then decided he wasn't worth it. A couple nights later he got drunk like you wouldn't believe. Told me to drive him to some strip club… When we reached the city, I stopped the car. He was passed out and I got to thinkin'. Decided I had nothin' to lose then gunned it and drove straight into a gas pump at a station. I hoped I'd get blown up, but obviously that plan didn't pan out or I wouldn't be here with you. I got out alive so obviously an explosion didn't work as planned, but dad didn't stand a chance. Next thing I know I'm a foster teen, one of those ones who figure they're justified in being rebellious and running away from every place they're sent; a typical stupid kid like all of them."

"Harsh enough?" Domino murmured to James. He nodded in agreement.

"Sure, sure, I'm bein' harsh. Sue me. Not like there was much for me to be optimistic about," Butch replied. "After the first five or so times running away, Team Rocket picked me up and gave me a permanent residence. I got into the training program, and next thing I know I'm partnered with Cassidy and Raticate. Now I'm here with you doorknobs sharin' my life's story. Or at least part of it. Didn't even mean to say this much, just… like I said, once it starts comin', it's hard to stop…"

PKMN

For a long time it was quiet as they allowed themselves to digest all they'd been told. Cassidy gazed at her partner, lips parted in shock and grief. James was resting his head against his balled hands. Jessie sheepishly rubbed an arm, gazing at the ground which she suddenly found interesting. "What, now no one's gonna say anything to me? Spare me the pity party. I deal enough with the whole inferiority complex thing, what with the 'my name being forgotten on a daily basis' spiel. The other problems… I'm livin' with 'em… I certainly kept my past hidden well enough. The last thing I need is for you idiots to start treatin' me different now that I've spilled my guts to you. I'm over it. Now who's next?"

It was silent a bit longer, no one eager to delve into their own pasts. Finally, Jessie quietly replied, "I'll go, I suppose…" James automatically reached out, taking her hand and gently squeezing it. He knew a fair bit about his partner's past, but he had a feeling she would be elaborating a little more this time around. He didn't believe he liked the idea of her old wounds being reopened again. Jessie didn't speak for a time, organizing her thoughts. Finally, she said, "I was five when my mother disappeared, presumably killed in a blizzard. There was no father, at least not one I knew, and I was alone… Utterly alone… I was thrown unceremoniously into foster care, but the day my mother died was the day I knew I would never have a family again. Now don't get me wrong, my foster mother was wonderful, of course. I won't lie and say I despised her because I didn't. I loved her very much and I still do… But she wasn't my mother. I wouldn't let her be… Perhaps that's what I regret most. I regret that though dirt poor, hardly able to afford the basics, she did everything for me… and I was monstrous to her… Little Jessie who every night would cry for her mother and scream to her foster parent that she hated her and that she wished she would die; little Jessie who fought against every attempt at a loving embrace that she made, at least for a time… I calmed down with age. Now she is the mother I didn't let her be. Now she is the family I never thought I'd have again. But for the way I treated her, one could be forgiven for thinking our relationship was nonexistent. It does exist, though, because that's just the sort of person she is… And I was an ungrateful little witch who didn't deserve her…"

"Jess…" Meowth began in concern.

"Quiet, Meowth. Let me go on," Jessie said. She trailed off for a moment, looking up at the sky. "We were so poor that she had to wash my hair in kerosene if there was nothing else… My clothes were always worn out and there was no room in the budget for makeup and other such novelties. For that reason, other girls picked on me incessantly. They taunted and laughed at me, threw small change at me in the halls making pathetic excuses for jokes about my financial state. They would rip at my hair or push me around in the girl's bathroom until finally… finally I stopped taking it. They regretted, from that day on, ever crossing me. Not even the big boys dared to approach me when they saw I was enraged. I was a fighter, I was vicious, I was angry and resentful and so-so… I don't know… I don't know which words to use to describe it… Alone…? Distrusting, perhaps…?"

James winced, recalling his own father's confession of his childhood, and suddenly this story felt and became so much more real… In his early childhood he had hardly had to worry about such things as being in that state, but to envision all his partner must have went through, and his father as well once upon a time… "Oh Jessica," he softly said, sympathy in his eyes as he squeezed her hand lightly. The others were quiet, watching the fire. Butch didn't look up at her. Cassidy, however, watched her without emotion, neither taunting her nor showing her kindness. She just… watched…

"When I was ten, I met Astin. He was the first good thing to happen to me in so long, and he brought out a softer side of me that felt so right, like I didn't have to hide anymore… And then he left, and he wanted me to come but I couldn't because I was about to debut as a performer. Not only did I fail while my only two friends passed, but I lost him as well. I should have gone with him. I wanted to… You only get one chance… I lost mine the night he left. Sometimes I look back and think how different it all could have been if I'd followed my heart… I miss him… My teenage years; that was when things got even worse."

"How so?" Oakley wondered cautiously. She didn't want to scare her off, after all.

"Well, I would sneak out late at night and crash nightclubs. I could pass for a much older woman. I would get drunk and dance late into the night with those who I called friends, when really they were little more than classmates at Pokémon Tech. I hooked up with men who were sometimes up to three times my age and more. There would be kissing, there would be… there would be touching… Sometimes there would be more… And every relationship ended badly… Either they would mistreat me or leave me, abuse me or use me. Some would, if I refused to give them all of me, attempt to drug me. So many times I found myself running or fighting back, and little by little my trust was stripped away until there was nothing left and I knew… I knew that I would never be able to rely on anyone again… The abuse wasn't always physical; sometimes it was emotional or verbal and I… I couldn't do it anymore… I gave up on love. That was it. No more. No more heartbreak, no more betrayal, no more trusting… I had become smarter and stronger by then, though, and more mature. At least to some extent. I was still fiery tempered, but I was more grown up. After nursing school didn't work out, and after flunking out of Pokémon Tech with James, I went with him and joined a Bicycle Gang. I felt at home there, for a time, but it lost its novelty quickly. James and I went our separate ways after an incident, then Team Rocket came into my life and his once more, and the rest is history. You know the story from there. There was no partner who could handle or keep up to me until you, James. At least not one I could count on."

PKMN

James pulled Jessie close, hugging her gently. "I'm here Jess," he murmured reassuringly. Butch still hadn't looked up from the marks he'd scraped into the sand, listening in silence.

Jessie sniffed, struggling to fight back tears. "Wow, it really does pour out," she remarked.

Cassidy sighed deeply and looked down. "Then I guess it's my turn," she said. "I would have been one of the girls who bullied you… But then not everything is black and white. It never has been and never will be. I was a spoiled girl, upper middleclass income, certainly not poor but not what you'd call rich. Snobby, arrogant, pompous, higher-than-thou, you get the gist."

"Well you certainly haven't changed much," Jessie bit.

Surprisingly, Cassidy didn't retaliate. Instead she was quiet a moment. After a time, she said, "Maybe not, but it was all a way to cope, a way to hide… My mother was my world. Dad had ditched us before I was born. That didn't matter, though, because I was happy with my mom. She was safe. She was good. She protected me and she… she was a good person… Social services didn't see it that way, and…" She trailed off. "I was seven when I was taken away from her… They didn't even give a reason… Mom just was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was taken from her and I never saw her again. She killed herself not long after. It was just… It was too much… I wanted to erase her from memory, but I never could. Anyway, so social services tracked down my father, the creep who abandoned us in the first place. The only reason he took me in was because I came with mom's hefty life-insurance policy." She stopped and sighed. "He was mean… Cruel… He would say I was worthless, he would put me down, he'd tell me I should never hope to get married because no man with any sort of standard would have me. He would say I had a face only a mother could love, he would tell me I was fat even though I wasn't, he would say I looked like a raticate, he would say I was useless, he would say that he couldn't pay a man to take me. He often said I was worthless, I was stupid, I was foolish, I was trash…" She trailed off.

"Oh Cassidy…" Annie said. How could anyone say such things to their own child?

"He threw in cheap and whorish and two-cent hooker after I lost my virginity. He said that on my back was the best place for me, that it was all I was smart enough to do… He said I should be grateful that anyone would bother with me… He said it was the closest I'd probably ever get to getting any again," she said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tyson asked. She was quiet, rubbing her arms. Tears threatened her eyes. "Cassidy?" Tyson asked, tone softening a bit.

She closed her eyes tightly. "He… he meant it was the closest I'd ever get to having it when I actually wanted it…"

Butch almost choked on the water he'd been sipping. "What?!" he all but shrieked. James looked aghast and Jessie appeared shocked. Hun's jaw twitched. Attila was fidgeting uneasily, suddenly wishing he'd never challenged Butch.

Cassidy closed her eyes tightly. "I was out one night with some friends. I lived farthest away and so I ended up walking alone. It was dumb. I shouldn't have been out that late by myself on those streets. I get it, it's not ever the victim's fault, but being out alone late at night in a rough part of town, knowing its reputation…? There's a point where you can't deny some amount of stupidity played a part. He came out of an ally and grabbed me. He dragged me into it kicking and screaming… I couldn't fight him off… I was too humiliated to go to a hospital. I went home and told my father what happened, and he-he said…" She cut off, covering her mouth and trying to choke back a sob.

Butch raged, teeth gritting and eyes burning with hatred, multiple veins throbbing in his head. His fists were clenched so tightly you could bet blood was being drawn. He felt only hatred and wrath burning within him. So much so that they half expected him to leap up, barrel out of here, run all the way back to Cassidy's hometown on foot, find her father, and tear his head off with his bare hands. His body shook like an earthquake from fury and disgust. "He said that you should be grateful the freak even bothered to take the time to assault you. He told you that being raped by some creep was the closest you'd ever get to a guy wanting you," Butch deduced in a voice that amounted to a murderous, venomous whisper.

She sniffed, trying to compose herself, and breathing out a stream of air like she was trying to will herself not to hyperventilate, a hand on her chest as she attempted to calm down. "I believed him," she said, voice coming out in a wheeze. "I-I believed him! I was just, I was so desperate to be pretty and to fit in and to be worth something! I told myself that at least I was pretty enough that the guy decided I was worth the time. I-I…" She burst into tears, curling in on herself, burying her face in her knees. Butch bolted. He'd rip the son of a bitch apart! He'd eviscerate him! The man would look more like a pile of ground beef than a human by the time he was through! It took most of the others full out tackling and pinning him to stop him. He spat and hissed and fought like a wildcat to break free. They all but piled on him to keep him down. "The minute I had the opportunity to join Team Rocket I took it!" Cassidy continued furiously. "Irony of ironies? Team Rocket happened to be the organization that was responsible for my getting taken away from mom. Imagine having that over your head. But I didn't care because I escaped dad. I escaped it all! Team Rocket helped me repair my self-confidence and self-worth. They helped me to feel like I was important to something again! They gave me back a reason to be, and I will forever be grateful to them for that!"

"Let go!" Butch finally managed to spew in a shriek, at last finding his human words again instead of the feral snarls he'd been spitting. "I'll rip his heart out and make it a trophy!" Considering the man had one, Butch inwardly added. Shit, Cassidy's first time had been with a… He felt physically ill at the thought. He'd hunt that one down too, he decided. Castrate him, cut it off, feed it to him. Oh, that would be fun.

"Butch, Butch!" he finally processed a voice shouting. Attila. "Listen to me, she needs you here now. She needs you to reassure her and be there for her. She needs her partner, not an avenger! She needs you man, come on!" Butch strained once more to get free before collapsing with a sob and eventually ceasing to fight.

They pinned him for a good three minutes more before finally daring to let him up. He rose wordlessly and went to Cassidy, who was gazing at him with teeth gently clenched, her beautiful violet eyes glistening with tears as she stared at him in concern but also awe. He stared at her a moment, considered breaking for it once more, then sighed, deciding right now he was needed here. He went to her. She let out a shaky breath and fell against him. He held her tight. Absently he brushed a tear away lightly, gently nuzzling her head with his. What else could he do except for swear that if ever he met her father again, he would kill the man where he stood without hesitation? That that creep would make his partner feel so worthless and despised and unloved, that that creep would brush off what happened to her like it had been a favor to her… It infuriated him to no end.

PKMN

The others were silent. "Maybe we should stop," James softly murmured. This was becoming far more than they'd bargained for.

"No… Keep on. I'm not going to be the only one here besides Butch and Jessie to open up like this and break down in front of everyone," Cassidy hissed, grip tightening on her partner. It wouldn't be fair! Why should she have to relive a nightmare while the rest of them got off scot free? If she was suffering this, so were they.

No one said anything for a long while. Finally, though, Attila spoke. "I'll go," he said. "I'll start by saying that every mistake I made was my own. I had a good and stable life. The only one who screwed that up was me. My uncle was a good man and raised me well enough on his ranch after mom and dad died. He was like my second father. He taught me everything he knew about pokémon wrangling, and I kept learning and progressing from there until I was one of the best in the world. Won championships, competitions, all sorts of stuff. Got pretty into the scene… Then I started mixing with the wrong crowd… That was my own stupidity. Started with chewing tobacco. Stopped that noise after learning my uncle got mouth cancer from it, and that without the proper treatments and a surgery he didn't have too long to live. I started joining contests and rodeos to try and get the money we needed to save him, but the stress from that and the added stress from having to take care of him—he was pretty weak, see, and I ended up having to be the bread-winner and care provider—had taken its toll on me. I was just a kid, a teen, and the stress kept piling on and piling on until I just didn't know how to handle it anymore. It wasn't long before I got into the drinking scene."

"Been there," Butch said, grimacing.

"Yeah… Binged every chance I got. Nearly died from alcohol poisoning a good number of times. Never learned my lesson, or more specifically I chose not to learn it. I was a violent drunk. Dangerously violent… Only started to clue in when I blacked out and woke up to see that I had nearly beaten my uncle to death. Called the hospital and ran away. Never looked back for years and years and years. I couldn't face him after that, and I definitely didn't want to face myself. I didn't want to see that beast leering back at me in the mirror… I was afraid of what I had become… I still am… I don't think I ever stopped being scared of myself…" Attila said.

"Attila…" Annie began in concern, reaching out. He flinched away from her like he was afraid to let her touch him, and she winced. She bit her lower lip and bowed her head sadly.

"I liked to fight, and I was physically and verbally abusive to every friend I made, to everyone I cared about. My temper was unpredictable at best, and when I got drunk on a binge I got violent. So, so violent…" He looked at Annie. "More than one girlfriend suffered for that…" he said. She tensed and looked down, anger flashing in her eyes before becoming pity and regret. Attila turned to Hun. "And more than one friend," he added. Hun stayed quiet. Attila let out a shaky breath, looking away from his partner. "Before even that I was feeling myself losing control, and it was all just a huge downward spiral. I was heading for a crash landing and didn't know what to do or think anymore… Then Hun found me… Or I found Hun, actually. I was drunk out of my head and tried to get rough and fresh. That… didn't exactly work out."

"Ooh, I don't even want to know," Tyson said, grimacing. When threatened or attacked, Hun could get very… He wasn't sure of the word to use, frankly. Scary seemed an underestimation. So did dangerous. Perhaps vengeful was the term, or protective? Those didn't seem right either. Hun became very much like a cornered pokémon with nothing left to lose. Things got ugly when Hun went on the attack.

"Yeah… Woke up in a back ally to see Hun sitting on something and watching me with cold and appraising eyes. Tried to move, found out I was bound and realized fast that Hun was debating whether or not to kill me. A knife was dangling from between my partner's fingers, swinging back and forth like a pendulum and terrifying me. I began spewing useless threats, but my mouth felt heavy. Hun tucked the knife away, got up, went to me, and last thing I realized before passing out again was that Hun was kneeling at my side and feeling my pulse. I woke up in Rocket Headquarters, Hun and Sebastian at the foot of my bed discussing something about alcohol poisoning and my being a useful ally. Sebastian apparently knew of my reputation and was trying to convince Hun to consider taking on a partner, specifically me. Hun didn't do partners. Considered them an obstacle. We never officially partnered up until only very recently. Whenever we worked together prior to that, it wasn't as 'partners', per se. Just a couple people who got along well and would be useful to one another. Reason it took so long for Hun to agree to a partnership was probably my fault, honestly."

"It wasn't your fault," Hun firmly stated.

"Wasn't it, Hun? You knew about the binge drinking. You learned about the violent tendencies first hand," Attila said, frowning at his partner.

"That wasn't the reason," Hun said.

"I nearly killed you, Hun!" Attila snapped. "I beat you half to death just like I did my uncle. Worse even!"

"Do you think I couldn't have killed you if I'd felt I needed to? You saw the knife. You know I could have defended myself. It was a test that you passed," Hun said.

Attila started, blinking blankly. "What?" he asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"A test of your willpower, a test of your personality, a test to see how serious and determined you were to change yourself for the better," Hun said. "You stopped yourself before you killed me. Willpower." Attila started, blinking. "The look of horror that crossed your face when you realized what you were about to do branded itself into my memory, the way you staggered back and away from me and looked liked you were ready to shoot yourself on command, the way you begged for forgiveness and apologized over and over and offered to suffer many things to pay for what you'd done. Personality."

"Hun, I…" Attila began.

"How frantically you tried to conquer your habits afterwards, how hard you fought to stop the drinking and the drugs, how you continued to try even despite relapses, how serious you were to change yourself for the better… Determination," Hun cut off, putting up a hand to silence Attila.

"And you did it, baby. You did it," Annie added before giving a grateful look to Hun. She turned back to Attila. "You stopped. You're better now."

"Am I?" he asked. He still struggled with the drinking thing sometimes. Often. They all knew as much. Since that time, though, he'd become so much better than he had been. It still didn't feel like enough to him, though. It would never be enough… "Team Rocket with their professors and doctors, Giovanni with his high standards and on-call psychs, Viper with his brutal training program… Joining Rocket probably saved my life. Definitely helped me reign in the drinking and drugging and partying." Annie reached out, covering his hand carefully. He flinched again, but at least this time he didn't jerk away.

PKMN

"I guess I'll go now," Tyson murmured. He looked up at the sky. "It was just me, my kid brother, and my dad. Mom died giving birth to Mondo. Pregnancy complications. Mondo came within a hair's breadth of being a stillbirth. Doctors couldn't revive him. They had to pull my dad away. I broke free and ran to my mom and brother. I took the baby into my arms and began trying to get him to wake up. I don't know how it happened, but he suddenly started to breathe again and began crying… Can you even imagine how it felt? To feel my baby brother come alive in my arms… I was gone in that second, hopelessly devoted to the pain. Damn I'm a sap for that kid. With luck he'll never figure that out. Probably best for both of us if he never does. Not exactly the safest life to live, being part of Team Rocket."

"That's not fair to Mondo," Jessie said, frowning.

"What's not fair is letting him get overly attached and then ending up dead," Tyson replied.

"If you think he's not attached already, you're sorely mistaken," Annie said. "I learned that the hard way." Oakley winced.

Tyson shifted slightly uncomfortably and chose to ignore the remark. "My relationship with my father and brother was good and strong. There were no problems at all say for the generic stuff. He loved us and threw himself into being a full-time dad after mom died. Even got a job as a teacher in my school so he could spend time with me. He'd bring Mondo to work with him, plop him in a playpen, and commence teaching. Everything was good, great in fact… Until it wasn't… The town we lived in was small. We had a one-room schoolhouse. One janitor worked there. Something wasn't entirely… right with him. Serious mental problems that went undiagnosed and undiscovered until too late. To make a long story short, one day he snapped. Initiated a lockdown, barricaded the school so no one could get out, and went arsonist. The place went up like tinder… I could hear the screaming and crying of other children as they… as they burned…" The others, say for Hun, visibly shuddered at this.

"Lunatic," Domino whispered under her breath.

"Hearing it was nothing compared to seeing and smelling it," Tyson darkly stated. The others began shifting, uneasily looking at the flames of the fire they had set up here. Well, if nothing else this was explaining why Tyson had put a good distance between himself and it. Really more lingering in the background than sitting with them. "My father grabbed Mondo and shoved him in my arms. The baby was just-just screaming and crying and panicking, and all I could do was-was hold him… Our father did his best to protect his students, as many as he could… Still wasn't enough to save them… Only a choice few survived the nightmare. Among them was me and Mondo. Us because our father threw himself over us as the smoke and flames began to catch his clothes. All the screams and the smell and the death… Mondo was suddenly so quiet and still… We would have died there, except just then a window was broken open. One the class had failed to break. It wasn't big enough for dad to squeeze through, but it was big enough for him to get me and my brother and what students he could out. While he was burning alive, he passed me and my brother up to the people reaching inside. All I could see through the smoke was the letter R emblazoned on their shirts."

"Team Rocket," Oakley realized.

Tyson nodded. "Yeah… The ones who'd saved us, I later learned, were Lieutenant Surge and Drill Sergeant Viper back when they were still just agents. I passed out. The next thing I know I'm waking up to paramedics trying to pry Mondo from my arms. I fought them back furiously, I wouldn't let go, and soon they let it be seeing as Mondo was starting to move and cry again. I heard the firemen talking about how there would have been a lot more loss of life if not for the mysterious helpers, who no one had seen, that had come and pulled as many as they could from the flames. Then I was asking for my dad and they were telling me he was never coming back, and I was an orphan… They came to take me and Mondo into foster care, but Drill Sergeant Viper, acting independently, beat them to it and spirited me and Mondo away. Not to Team Rocket, but to his personal home. He became our foster father but let me tell you, he didn't have an easy time of it. First chance I got, I took Mondo and ran away. I didn't trust him. He was a stranger I'd never heard of claiming to be a long-lost relative. I was twelve, but I wasn't a moron. I called his BS and made my escape… Should have stayed right where I was…"

"It was smarter to run," Hun said quietly. "Had he been anyone else…" the agent trailed off. James tensed up ever so slightly.

"But he wasn't anyone else, and running away was probably the dumbest thing I could have done. What was I thinking? How did I ration I could take care of a baby by myself? After dad's death I felt solely responsible for my brother. Wouldn't let anyone else help take care of him no matter what. I fed him, I clothed him, I bathed him and changed him and put him to bed and told him stories. I didn't know it was supposed to be formula he was drinking. I thought it was just milk in a bottle that dad would give him. Needless to say, he started to starve. I didn't know how to change a diaper or potty train. Needless to say, he started developing rashes and sores. He'd cry all the time and I didn't know what to do. I tried covering his mouth and almost ended up smothering him. The stress and agony and guilt kept growing and growing and growing. I felt helpless and useless. I couldn't save mom, I wasn't strong enough to save dad, I wasn't good enough to save Mondo. It was because of me mom and dad were gone, and it would be because of me that Mondo was going to be gone too. Finally, in a desperate attempt to save the baby, I went to a pokémon center and began quizzing the nurse about what babies needed to eat, among other stuff, like how to bath them properly and how to swaddle them and how to stop them from crying. I went to parks and spied on parents with infants, watching how they changed diapers and the things they used. I stumbled my way through the motions, but it wasn't long before I didn't have the money to keep taking care of myself let alone my brother, so I went back to Viper. I didn't have a choice!" Tyson continued, starting to sound like he was edging on panic like he was reliving that terror, sounding like he was desperate for validation, desperate for someone to understand why he'd done what he'd done. "I didn't-I didn't know what else to do or who else to-to go to, I just…"

He cut off, catching his breath sharply and looking quickly up when he felt a grounding hand on his shoulder. Hun. "Breathe. It's alright… I know what it feels like to have no other choice…" Hun remarked in a murmur. James's eyes were fixed painfully and guiltily on Hun. Hun, catching the look, frowned. "Don't," the agent warned James, sensing what was going through the other's mind. James gritted his teeth, eyes shining, and looked quickly away, closing them tight.

Tyson took a few calming breaths, slowing the heartrate he hadn't realized was speeding up so much until now. After a moment, he continued. "I went back to Viper. Viper made it all go away… He took care of Mondo's sores, he fed him properly and got him healthy again. For the first time in forever I ate a decent meal… He tried… He tried so hard… He tried to take the burden off me, but he couldn't because… because Mondo was my brother and so I should take care of him, and despite everything Viper tried to do for us I still made Mondo my responsibility as much as I could get away with. It was stressful, it was agonizing, and guilt ate away at me every day and all the more as I got older and realized everything I had been doing wrong and how close I came to killing him. Me, not anything else. And all that pain and confusion just kept building and building, and I couldn't deal with it… Suicidal thoughts started creeping in… I began planning ways to kill myself without being found out or stopped… Tried a few plots, ended up in hospital more than once, then Viper gave me a lecture about how I needed to be strong for Mondo so that Mondo wouldn't have to lose another family member. It didn't go as well as he'd hoped. Yeah, I stopped trying out suicide plans, but instead I mercilessly self-punished. If I wasn't good enough at something, I forced myself into agonizing workout routines that lasted all day and night, or threw myself into painful training sessions that defied death and tested the limits of my endurance. If I did something wrong or felt I hadn't been good enough, I punished myself by not eating or sleeping until I fainted dead away. I needed to get stronger, I needed to get better. For Mondo I had to. I don't even want to imagine the heartache it caused Viper… Oh the hell I put him through… One day I came across him in a private place. He was… he was praying… For me… Viper didn't pray. Hated the concept. The legendries were just tools to be used, not gods… But he made an exception for me… I realized in that moment that I wasn't the only one who was suffering so badly it ached to breathe… I went home, went to sleep, and the next day at breakfast I told Viper I needed help and wanted to get it. He almost broke down. Didn't say a word, hugged me tight instead, and the look of relief that crossed my brother's face… I had thought I'd been hiding my problems from him, protecting him from the truth, but when I saw that look, I knew I'd doubly screwed up. He'd known, or suspected, the whole time, and it took every ounce of willpower I had, and a reserve of Viper's, to resist the urge to self-punish again. The hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life was drag myself into Professor Sebastian's office with Viper and beg him for help…"

PKMN

Hun's eyes were closed. The agent kept a hand on Tyson's shoulder but said nothing and didn't look up at anyone. Neither did James… As always there was quiet as this story was digested by the rest of them. Soon Domino sighed and said, "Guess it's my turn, then. I was just a kid when my dad left my mom. It devastated her. For years she was just unhappy and miserable and withdrawn. Then she met the man who'd become my step-father. He was a good guy, always nice to me. I never felt uncomfortable around him at all, and it felt… it felt good to have a dad again… But he had a problem. He was into gambling. Really into it. Addicted to it. I didn't notice at first. Not until the first fight he and mom had about money disappearing from their accounts. I started to understand the depths of it when things in our house began to go missing… Then I saw the harsh reality of it when he wagered me in a bet… One night he came to my room and said there were people downstairs he wanted me to meet. He led me down and there was a group of men there. Men I'd never seen. He offered me to them and the man who stood in front of the others looked at me a long time then knelt and asked how old I was. He asked me about what I wanted to do when I got older. He asked me about whether I wanted to go on a pokémon journey and what kind of pokémon I wanted to catch. When he finished talking to me, he told me to go back to my room. I heard him start to shout at my step-father that I was just a little girl. I heard him tell the man he had one last chance, and then they left. That man was Giovanni, and later that night he sent Tyson, who'd been with him, to my house to confront my mother about what my step-father had just tried to do. She was given an ultimatum, her husband or me. She begged for a chance to fix my step-father before she had to choose. She couldn't. He tried to wager me again in a game not even a month later. The men that came that time were all too eager… Mom tried to stop them. They threw her aside. Whether they killed he or not I don't know to this day, and I'm not even sure I care anymore. The men grabbed me to take me away, but then, like they'd been watching since the night they'd first come to my house, Team Rocket was there. They put down those men like dogs and took my step-father prisoner. I don't know what happened to him and again, I'm not sure I even care. I was brought to Team Rocket headquarters and presented to Giovanni. He took me in and commanded that my training commence immediately."

"We were watching. I insisted on it," Tyson confirmed. "Giovanni agreed."

"Thank you," Domino said gratefully. She looked over the others. "I know the rumors about me that are floating around. That I slept my way into my rank… Pretty sure most of you think I did. In a way you're right. I slept my way into a lot, but my position wasn't one of those things. I slept my way into being allowed to stay when I failed the training program the first time. The Drill Sergeant at the time, Viper's predecessor, told me to pack up and go. I begged for another chance and an officer who overheard spoke in my behalf. When I thanked him, he said he hadn't done it without a price… He propositioned me. I refused. He threatened me, said I didn't have the skill or the talent or anything to make it on my own in Rocket. He said he was my only chance at being allowed to stay and that he could just as easily have me thrown out. I had nowhere to go out there! I felt trapped. I felt like I had no choice… So, I paid his price…"

"Son of a bitch," Cassidy said.

"What? Domino, what are you…? Who was he?!" Attila furiously demanded, enraged to hear this.

"He's dead now, so it doesn't matter, does it?" Domino answered, a bitter tone in her voice. "I slept my way into passing theory as well, because even though I got the answers right, the man marking the test had other plans. He said that he could fail me. He told me the drill sergeant wouldn't suspect a thing because he took the grades he was given at face value and never rechecked the tests to see if they'd been marked properly. If I failed theory, I would be kicked out or killed he claimed, so I did what I had to. When Viper took over as drill sergeant, I dared think it was over. Maybe I didn't have to worry about training or bad marks anymore, but that wasn't the only way they could get to me, was it? I was a dog on a leash. I was new and vulnerable and didn't know what was the truth and what was an exaggeration, and I did whatever I thought I needed to, to stay alive and a member of Team Rocket… I'd be rewarded with promotions if I cooperated, punished if I didn't. The officer who first took particular interest in me decided to make me his 'partner', eventually. Ragdoll would be more accurate… He held my fate in his hands, and it killed me inside, the things I had to do to stay alive or part of the team… I just-I wanted it to end… One day I asked another girl who I had to impress to get promoted. She told me about Tyson. I wanted so badly to rise above the station of the officer who was my partner, so I could leave him behind and be free of him. I needed to be free of him. So, I devised a plan to guarantee I would see that promotion. I knew what Tyson would want in exchange. It's what they always wanted. I told myself it would be just one last time, and then I'd be free…"

"Goddammit Domino," Tyson said, drawing a hand down his face.

"I went into his room late one night. I woke him up. He asked me why I was there, and I told him I couldn't sleep. He told me he wasn't a babysitter and he didn't plan on singing any lullabies… I told him in the most seductive voice I could that I hadn't come for a lullaby… He caught on. He couldn't even believe what he'd just heard. I went to his bed and knelt on it. Suspicious bastard he was, he asked me why I wanted to do this. I told him I was an ambitious woman. He caught on… He caught on and refused my offer and demanded to know why the hell I skipped straight to sex to get a promotion instead of trying to prove through actions what I was capable of. I tried to dirty-talk him, but he-he'd have none of it," she said, a smile crossing her lips briefly before disappearing again. "He asked again why I was doing this." She turned to him. "You asked me so sincerely… You sounded so concerned… You didn't speak angrily to me, even though I know you were furious, just… worry," she murmured. "So I told you it was what everyone else seemed to want, and you put the pieces together in seconds, and you didn't even wait before you were up and bringing me straight to drill sergeant Viper to demand answers."

Tyson blinked, feeling a burning heat rising to his cheeks. He glanced away, clearing his throat a bit. "I did what I had to," he murmured, a bit flustered.

She smiled softly and turned back to the others. "Viper was stunned. Furious. He gave me permission to kill the officer who was my partner, as well as any other man who'd done those things to me, as a way of proving my skill. And I think for my own satisfaction as well. He told me to get Tyson's help if I needed it. So, I went out and I did it. I killed almost all the men who had exploited me… And Giovanni found out, and he all but ordered my execution until Tyson stepped in for my sake and told the boss all that had happened to me. Giovanni was enraged. To make up for the two years I was sleeping my way into everything under the sun, he personally took me under his wing and trained me. From that day on he felt responsible for me and brought me up like I was a surrogate daughter. He kept me close to him and away from anyone he suspected might hurt me, and Tyson self-appointed himself my bodyguard from that day on too. If he spotted me being harassed, someone ended up in the infirmary. If anyone put their hands on me with any kind of malicious intent, they ended up in the morgue. Giovanni all the while watched and saw my potential, and that potential coupled with all he felt he owed me for how long I'd suffered, convinced him to make me an Elite Officer eventually. Maybe it didn't totally make up for what happened to me, but at least it was a start."

PKMN

Tyson reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder firmly. "Nothing like that will ever happen to you again," he vowed. She tilted her head, lips parting slightly before she blushed, cleared her throat, and looked quickly away.

"Now's as good a time as ever to tell our story, I guess," Oakley murmured.

Annie hugged her sister tightly, sadness and regret in her eyes. "I'll start," she gently told Oakley. Oakley nodded. Annie looked up at the others. "We grew up with both a mother and a father for most our lives, but it was a roller coaster ride. I was daddy's favorite, his precious little princess, while Oakley was the unwanted accident. On the other end of the spectrum, Oakley was mommy's favorite, the one she considered to be worthwhile while I was the useless layabout."

"Daddy was a paranoid schizophrenic, always seeing things that didn't exist or hearing things that weren't there. There was conspiracy in everything. One day he went totally off his rocker crazy and started believing mom, me, and Annie weren't his family and that we were body-snatchers or some other stupid thing. He thought that maybe if he killed the 'body-snatchers' he would get us back… He caught mother first, but mother retaliated and stabbed him over and over. She left him for dead and dragged Oakley and I out of the house to bring us somewhere else. Police were called, and paramedics, and dad survived but ended up in a psychiatric ward… He was never the same. He might as well have been dead," Oakley said.

"Our mother became cold and negligent, even more than she already had been. Especially to me. Oakley was her prize, I was her disappointment… Then it was only me and my sister against the world… Mom made it her sole goal in life to train her daughters up to be the most ruthlessly efficient, dangerous hunters in the world; specimens that were deadly, beautiful, treacherous, greedy, perfect…" Annie said.

"Woman did a god job if that was her goal," Attila half flirted.

Annie smirked at him, but her smile fell. "She did… All our skills we learned or inherited from her. It was how she went about it that sucked. If we failed her or let her down, we would be punished severely. Put down, insulted, beaten with a stick or whip, locked in the basement and starved a few days… It was horrible… Mom would constantly compare me to Oakley. Oakley was her clone, the image of herself. Dad of course did nothing. He tried, but ultimately it was fruitless. Eventually he just gave up. Finally I just… I had enough… I ran away and left my sister behind. I thought that maybe because Oakley was mom's favorite, she'd be safe. Maybe mom would go easy on her after I'd left… She wasn't safe, and I was very wrong…"

"My mother wanted me exactly like her. She wanted me to be her successor. She wanted to live on through me, wanted me to be her. Down to the pokémon she wanted it. She was the one who gave me Ariados, in fact, and tried to get rid of Vileplume, but I hid Vileplume from her at least. When Annie ran away, I was devastated. Dad would tell me I was the reason Annie left, tell me my sister abandoned me, and that killed me inside. Mom would tell me all I needed was her, that Annie and daddy should be nothing to me, that I needed to forget them, but I couldn't. Because of mother's abuse, father's negligence, and my sister's perceived abandonment, I began to deal with a lot of issues and self-loathing. Mom intensified her training program for me. I had a sweet tooth, I liked eating, and she wanted that habit gone. After all, that was no way to become a perfect physical specimen. Whenever she found out I'd eaten something she deemed bad, or found out I had eaten too much of anything, she'd force me into the bathroom and make me throw it up, spewing insults about my looks and what would happen to my body, and severely distorting my self-image. After a while I was the one who made myself start to throw up, and I was the one who stopped eating."

"Oakley, anorexia bulimia? You?" Jessie asked in surprise and shock, looking concerned.

Oakley nodded a small nod. "Yeah… Not the one you'd expect would develop it, I guess… And as time passed, I started to hate and resent my sister. I started to stop fighting my mother and accepted it as my life, and I just went through the motions, biding my time and plotting… One day I think I might have killed her. Mom that is…"

"Meanwhile, I was out there trying to find a job, trying to earn enough money that I could buy myself a place and could go back to take my sister away from our psycho mother. In retrospect, I probably should have told her that was my plan from the start. Then maybe it wouldn't have happened like it did. I tried so many times to get a good job, but I couldn't… In the end I resorted to prostitution…" Attila started and sharply looked at her, eyes wide. She wasn't meeting his gaze.

"Annie?" James said in shock, eyes wide.

"What?! You told me you freelanced for clients who…" Oakley began. She froze. "Wanted your services…" she finished, sounding shocked. "Oh my god… You told me you meant your spying and bounty hunting, Annie!"

"Well now I'm telling you the truth. The service they wanted was sex," Annie said.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Oakley freaked.

"Because then you would've felt guilty and beaten yourself up about it and felt like it was all your fault I had to do what I did. You would have started thinking that if I'd only had to worry about myself, I wouldn't have had to go there. You'd be wrong. I did all of it for you. I'd do it all again happily to get you away from anything hurting you. Maybe you'll still do all that now, but you're in a more mentally sound place than you were when we were teenagers, so maybe now you'll actually be able to cope in a healthy way instead of doing what others here, including me, have done. You may be team leader, Oakley, and the serious down-to-business one, but I'm still the big sister, and I'm still going to protect you."

"Why would you do that?!" Oakley shouted.

"For us! So we could be free, baby sister," Annie replied, taking her shoulders. "And yeah, I was hurt. Often. I was made to do the most humiliating, demeaning things. I felt worthless and cheap, but I needed to get you out of that house before our mother warped you completely, beyond what you could come back from. I needed to." Oakley stared at her sister, eyes glistening and quivering with tears and lips parted in shock. She clenched her teach and closed her eyes, turning away and gasping back a sob. "Don't do that. Please don't do that. I don't regret what it took to get you away from our mom."

"Hunter J was never a mom! She was a sociopathic nut job!" Oakley furiously shouted, turning to her sister.

"Hunter J?!" James and Jessie exclaimed together.

"White hair, badass pokémon hunter, highly efficient and ruthless thief, greedy, had an ariados, yeah. Mom was, or is, pokémon hunter J," Annie said. "And please don't tell us what happened to her, because we could care less whether she died or survived her run-in with you and the twerps."

"When Annie came back for me, after she'd bought a place with her blood money apparently…" Oakley began.

"Oakley…" Annie began, sounding a bit hurt and guilty.

"I wanted nothing to do with her," Oakley continued, ignoring. "In fact, I almost killed her for daring to show her face again. On our mother's order. J told me to prove myself the ruthless and efficient fighting machine she'd turned me into, and to get rid of my 'useless and inferior sister', as she put it. Annie fought back, begging me to listen to her, begging me to let her explain, but I was so angry and so broken and so-so resentful… She put up one hell of a fight, but ultimately she wasn't able to defeat me. I'd had a lot longer to train under mom than she had, and it showed… But when it came to delivering the death blow, I couldn't do it… I couldn't take my sister's life… So mom said I was useless too, her biggest disappointment, and she tried to execute me. Annie got between me and mom's knife and took multiple stab wounds before I snapped out of the shock and leapt into action. I fought mother off but didn't take the time to kill her. Annie needed help. I stole the car, drove away, and never looked back. I took Annie straight to a hospital, and when she recovered, she and I got as far away from that life and place as we possibly could. We were forced to scrounge out a living with what money we had, forced to grow up long before we should have… It was a nightmare, but I had been brought away from my mom, and we were free of our parents and had each other, and that was all we needed to will ourselves to keep going. Some time later we joined Team Galactic. We rose in the ranks and became two of their top agents. We were sent on a mission, ordered to capture or kill two of Rocket's top agents. Those two happened to be Attila and Hun, and they bested us. First and only ones who ever had up to that time. The deal was simple. Leave Galactic and join up with or freelance solely for Rocket, we lived. If we refused, we died. Our responses were basically bite me. Attila looked to Hun for direction, Hun stared at us. Hun turned and walked away saying that we'd come around. Obviously, we did. We're here now, aren't we?"

PKMN

There was quiet. "Is your mother still around, then?" Domino asked.

"She drowned in the lake, didn't she James?" Jessie asked.

"As far as I knew," James replied.

"Was there a body found?" Oakley asked. Jessie and James grimaced, exchanging looks. "Then you don't know for sure if she's dead or alive."

"And until we do, every day we'll fear her finding us," Annie answered honestly. "But now we can handle her. We're strong enough to. We have to be. Now who's next?" she asked, not wanting to talk about it anymore. All that was left were James and Hun.

"What about you, Hun?" Attila said.

"No," Hun said.

"We all agreed, Hun, and now everyone else has gone except James," Domino prompted.

"I said no," Hun firmly answered, glaring dangerously at her. She tensed up. That was a look they all knew not to argue with.

"The deal was…" Cassidy began.

"I didn't agree to any deal," Hun flat out stated, rising. "I'm going to search around the perimeter." Without waiting for a reply, the agent moved away from them. James watched after the other sadly. Hun didn't go so far as to be out of earshot, stopping in the doorway of the barn and gazing at the moon, but didn't turn back either. No one was brave—rather stupid—enough to press any further. James looked down silently. He knew all eyes were on him now. Maybe… maybe if he opened up, one day in the future it would prompt Hun to… He closed his eyes tightly. He wished the others weren't looking at him. For once he was longing to fade into nothingness…

PKMN

"How old, Jessie, do you believe I was when I left home?" James asked after a moment.

"I'd assume anywhere from ten to thirteen?" she replied.

"Think back to the missing poster," James wryly replied. She thought back to the day they'd seen the missing poster with a little James on it and started, sharply looking at him. He didn't mean… But he'd looked younger than Ash! "That was the most recent picture my parents had had of me. I was seven or eight when I ran away in an attempt to escape the societal rules of the upper-class and my future wife. The story I told you about the little boy freezing to death in the snow… It was true, most of it. I was found half-frozen in front of a church, hypothermic, with Growlie trying desperately to warm me. My rescuer was… Was someone who became very dear to me." He glanced towards Hun. The others would probably think he was just concerned about the other, but Hun knew, shoulders tensing slightly and head bowing. James looked at the rest again. "My rescuer cared for me and tended to me for months and months, but when I got sick didn't know what to do… My savior wasn't all that much older than me and didn't understand how to handle my illness. I was brought back to the man my companion had run away from, because my companion didn't know any better and didn't know what else to do. That man took us in. Growlie was gone by then. My savior didn't trust the man, but believed the stranger was my only hope of survival… My savior was right not to trust. The creep's motives were far from noble… He nursed me back to health, true enough, but because my friend didn't trust him, I certainly wasn't about to. Against my better judgement I stayed. I didn't relish the idea of either returning home or living off the streets like some common peasant. I was given a room to share with my friend. Unbeknownst to me, that room wasn't an original part of the home. I didn't know until a night before we escaped, that…" He trailed off.

"That?" Cassidy pressed.

"That every night the man locked the secret door and shoved a bookshelf in front of it," James replied. The others, say for Hun, all gasped. Where was this going, they wondered? Did they want to know? Hun was watching James stoically now, an unspoken understanding in the agent's gaze that they and only they knew.

"Things happened, things best not spoken of, but ultimately it led to us trying to run. The man caught me… Only my companion escaped, and then… Never mind. Suffice it to say then I was free too, but I never saw my friend again… I remember that during our captivity the man would come to us every night. He would pet my back while I pretended to sleep because if I was awake… If I was awake he would kiss me disturbingly forcefully, feigning innocence in the matter. It was best to be asleep. I didn't understand what he was doing, but I didn't like it. I told myself it was okay, but… but he would always take my friend away somewhere, and-and my companion—the one who had become like a sibling to me—would always come back, barely able to walk, always in pain and always humiliated, and I didn't understand why… The man used to touch me as I slept or faked it… He used to dress me in girl's clothes when we played dress-up, and went so far as to ensure I would be awake when he came to me at night. My companion knew it was only a matter of time before his grooming became something else… I think part of me knew too, I just… I didn't want to accept it… I'm not quite sure what I thought, but when the time to run came, I knew we had to escape," James said.

"James…?" Jessie began uncertainly as she placed a concerned hand on his lap, almost afraid to hear where this was going.

He smiled weakly at her. The smile fell as he thought back, then he continued, saying, "My friend used to tell me that I would be alright if the time came I had to be alone… And I was… at least to a degree. I was free, and after I got over my companion not being there anymore, and after I accepted that… that the one who had saved me was gone and never coming back, I became alright. Almost happy, actually enjoying my adventure. Shortly after getting away I began to feel hunger. Usually my companion and I would steal or eat from dumpsters when we were on the streets before I got sick. Now I saw my rations were depleted, and for the first time I began to realize the severity of what I had gotten myself into." James said.

"You lived on the streets?" Butch incredulously asked.

"Right up until Team Rocket," James confirmed. "You've all always assumed I didn't know what it was like to be poor, but when a child runs away from home at seven with nothing, he isn't going to magically obtain something. I know intimately what it is to have nothing. I just never show as much… Let's see, I joined Pokémon Tech where I met Jessie. It was Nanny and Pop-Pop who put me through. Of course, they never knew of my second life, only enough to know that I didn't want my parents to find me. They assumed, I suppose, that I had been taken in by someone rich given the way I dressed… Of course, if they had ever been able to see the ways in which I earned that money… Regardless, I couldn't go to them for help. My pride and foolishness in youth wouldn't allow such a display, so when Jessie and I flunked out I followed her right into the Bicycle Gang… There was a falling out between us at some point. She left first, then after a near-death experience…"

"What?!" Jessie demanded.

"After a near-death experience, I left that all behind too," James said, avoiding the question.

"How did you make it after that?" Cassidy wondered in disbelief, doubtful. She could hardly believe the words he was saying. Jessie, for her part, was stunned, unsure what to think. He had never said anything of this before, not even to her, and besides this was James. She'd thought him so pathetic that he wouldn't have survived a night in the streets on his own. He was too soft. Admittedly he was a grand storyteller, but this… This felt more real than that. They waited for James's answer patiently.

For a long moment James was quiet, gazing into the fire. After a time, he drew a deep breath and let it out shakily, nervous. "I used what I had, beauty and charm. I wasn't unappealing to the eye. I had a look about me—slightly girlish but masculine at the same time—that easily attracted both male and female attention. With a seductive glance, a sultry word with what you must admit is an incredibly sensual voice, or a smile, I could eat food from the platters of rich men, take a woman for every coin in her coffer. When luck wasn't with me I dumpster dove or stole, albeit very reluctantly, and only when I knew I had no other alternative. I always managed to escape detection, and even when caught I could either make a smooth getaway or charm some pity and mercy out of those from whom I was stealing… But sometimes it wasn't enough, the theft, the flirtations…"

"What do you mean?" Jessie asked, her every muscle tensing and her eyes filling with uncertainty. Something was going to be said here very soon, and it wouldn't be pleasant to hear.

Again, James was quiet. That was when Butch caught on. "You didn't," he said. James looked sharply up at him, eyes burning. "You were a prostitute like Annie?!" Butch exclaimed loudly. James winced at the bold statement. Annie started. Hun spun around fully this time, eyes flaming dangerously.

"That depends on what you mean by prostitute," James replied.

"What the heck's that s'posed to mean?" Butch demanded.

"It means I danced a fine line. I hired myself out as an escort, yes, I could pass for older than I was easily enough. However, I rarely let it get beyond some kissing and grooming. I had my ways. I could play on emotions like a fiddle, breaking down into sobs and spinning a tale of woe, conveying to them that I was afraid and didn't want to do something, begging them not to make me. I played up my innocence and naivety like there was no tomorrow. Most of the time they pitied me and sent me off without a scratch and a generous sum of money, you see. When it didn't work out that way…" He trailed off.

"When it didn't work out that way, what?" Hun darkly asked.

James tensed up a bit. "There might be a fight. Sometimes a very bad one. I would usually win and take all that I could that was of value, then try and flee… Usually I managed to slip away. Sometimes it didn't work out like that and I ended up beaten to a pulp in an alley," James said.

"Did you end up anything else?" Hun asked firmly.

James winced, blushing deeply as the others fixed their eyes on him. After a moment he replied, "It… was a shameful period in my life that I'd rather not delve into. I usually managed to slip away, albeit often in quite a bad way. When I couldn't get away, I mostly got lucky and someone happened by before it was too late for me."

"Mostly," Hun pointed out. "Mostly or always?"

"There were… very close calls… Sometimes, before I was saved or slipped away, something would begin to happen, but I always managed to find an opening to break away before the worst occurred," James said.

"And what, precisely, do you consider 'the worst' to be?" Hun asked darkly. 'The worst' was far too broad a term for the officer to be comfortable with.

"The life was stressful and hard. I suffered with severe depression, and I attempted once to kill myself…" James began, quickly changing the subject.

"You what?!" Jessie screamed, enraged at this news.

James looked up at her in horror. "I backed down, I backed down! I threw myself from the bridge, yes, but not necessarily with intent to die! Meowth knows about this, talk to him, not me!" he defended immediately, terrified at the blow-up. Meowth was too stunned to react, lips parted and tears threatening his eyes at the revelation. Finally, finally, he was learning what the human who had so long ago saved him had been going through and feeling at the time of the bridge incident. Now he was regretting ever learning. He supposed it was too late to un-hear, now, so now it was a matter of digesting it all without feeling sick at himself for not seeing it sooner. Weren't pokémon supposed to get sort of a sixth-sense when it came to stuff like that?

"James, if you don't…" Jessie began.

"Let him talk," Hun ordered sharply, returning to them at a slightly faster than normal pace. Jessie scowled at Hun but fell silent, relenting.

James cleared his throat. "Thank you, Hun," he said, though he probably wouldn't be thanking the other for long. He got the feeling they were going to be having a long talk soon enough. "After the bridge incident I left that place and moved on with a new outlook on life. I stopped what I had been doing and instead began competing in contests with a renewed belief in innocence and naivety—if you could dare call it that after all I'd gone through, and I do dare—that fought off the darkness I would have otherwise been consumed by," he narrated.

PKMN

Mutual silence fell over the group. They'd said all that needed to be said. What else was there left to do? Hun wouldn't speak, and it was midnight now. They needed to go to sleep. Without any words to each other, they went to their separate spots and lay down to rest. When the morning came there were still no words to be exchanged between them. Silently they packed up their things, preparing to return to the Rocket outpost and make a report. They heard a big yawn and glanced over at Raticate and Meowth, who had somehow ended up curled together and were now waking at the same time. The two pokémon yelped on seeing each other and sprang apart, hissing and growling. Raticate was returned and Meowth went grumpily to James and Jessie before looking up at them both sympathetically. Once they'd packed up, Domino called ahead to the outpost. Once that was done, the group headed off.