AN: Notes on this Chapter: Andromeda and Ted's cameo time! Remus moves out, Dora turns seven years old and Dorcas Meadowes makes a huge mistake...
"I did not know, for a very long time, the identity of the werewolf who had attacked me; I even felt pity for him, thinking that he had had no control, knowing by then how it felt to transform. But Greyback is not like that. At the full moon, he positions himself close to victims, ensuring that he is near enough to strike."
- Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince
Chapter 8 – To Break
"What do you mean you're moving out?"
Remus was gathering up his things as Sirius started to walk around after him. His books, his clothes, his scarf gathered up into an old cardboard box.
"What do you think it means? I'm moving out."
Sirius swallowed. The young man had dark bags under his eyes due to his latest mission for the Order was keeping him awake on duty in London.
"But where will you go?"
A pause, Remus slipped a book onto the pile in his box. "I'm going home to my parents for a while."
Sirius froze, "To the cottage? but you said…you didn't…"
"Well, I have too. Don't take it too personally Sirius, I like living with you. Even when you make a mess. I just can't anymore that's all."
Sirius stood his ground, instead of following the werewolf he stood in front of the front door, but if Remus was desperate to leave he could just apparated.
"If I didn't know any better, it sounds like you're breaking up with me." Sirius tried to tease, but his eyes were creased and his brow furrowed. Remus sighed as he finally put down his box of limited possessions and grabbed his cloak from the hanger.
"I'm not breaking up with you, I don't—this isn't a joke…" Remus said annoyed. "I just have to be somewhere else."
"If it's because of full moon I didn't care about that chair—"
"Sirius, it's not about that."
Why was it so much easier to explain to Peter than it was to Sirius that he just…had to be with his mother right now?
He knew why. He knew that the moment that he told Sirius that his mother was on her deathbed that he wouldn't leave him alone. He'd be trailing around with a puppy at his heel at his every pause and give him the constant reminder that – his mother was dying and his mother would die and that all his friends would be on tender hooks waiting for it. There were enough things in the world to have to worry about than this.
"Then what is it about?" Sirius was getting impatient. "You pay no rent here, you pay for no food, I take care of you don't I? Dora will be devastated if you're not here Thursday night…it's her birthday! We were going to have cake and everything!"
"I'm just your friend to her, she's here to see you." Remus said calmly, it wasn't fair to bring up money; he'd have paid if he had it but he didn't. The rejection letter for his thirtieth application in the last six months still made him sick to the stomach. "And I won't be worrying about money at home either…so please, can you drop it."
Sirius crossed his arms like a toddler; perhaps he was spending too much time with little Dora.
"You will come round though, for Dora's birthday? James, Peter and Lily are coming. I wanted it special for her, you know? She really wanted to be here, so Andromeda and Ted said they'd celebrate with us…"
Tilting his head, Remus gave a nod. "I'll be here Thursday," he insisted, "And I'll come round, loads of times. I just…can't stay."
Sirius swallowed, his arms were still crossed but he finally lowered them and his defences.
"So…see you soon, the meeting most likely."
"Yeah, at the meeting." Remus said, though he knew in his heart that it would be harder and harder to leave his parents house knowing that's where he would be returning and leaving from each day. "
They shared a glance, Remus smiled fondly.
"Thanks for letting me stay in the first place, Sirius, I really did like staying."
Sirius shuffled his feet, looking gloomy. "Don't mention it…catch you soon Moony."
A twitch of a smile was what he gave back which seemed to satisfy the werewolf and then, just like that, Remus was gone. Sirius continued to stare at the spot that he had left from, then around his home now a bachelor pad once more.
Despite its charms and despite it being his, Sirius found himself feeling sad. The flat felt suddenly too big for just him and his thoughts and wished that Remus would just apparate back and announce he had changed his mind.
But Remus didn't apparated back, he wasn't coming back and sighing, Sirius moved to towards the his room to sulk, wondering just what it was that made Remus want to leave so suddenly.
"There's a pretty girl here to see you."
Remus was not only surprised, but also amused; as his father knocked on the door of the spare room he'd moved into. Lyall's smile played around his eyes.
"I've only moved in here yesterday…" Remus said, incredulously. He'd expected Sirius to turn up, to implore him to return but not…a pretty girl? He sincerely hoped his father didn't get any ideas that he was going to be entertaining in their house, far from it.
"Well, she's waiting in the kitchen, don't keep her too long, you're mother will have all your secrets out of her before you can say Quidditch."
Remus didn't know it was the idea of the fact that his father found this amusing, or that his mother was going to interrogate her but he headed downstairs to find Dorcas Meadows sitting rather rigidly at the kitchen table. Remus started to smile but he noticed something was wrong, or different – or both.
"Remus, hi…I'm sorry for coming to your house," Dorcas said, standing up.
Hope smiled up at him, then at her, beaming from where she sat, Lyall bringing over lunch for her and sitting down on her other side at the table. Hope was looking frailer than ever, and this was one of the rare parts of the day where she insisted on being out of bed and enjoying the midday sun.
"Did you both want tea?"
"No, it's okay Mrs Lupin, I only need to borrow Remus for a moment. I don't want to ruin your lunch…"
Hope and Lyall smiled at her, and Remus felt slightly embarrassed at the stare. As nice as it was to see Dorcas it would possibly become a massive talking point for his parents for weeks to come.
Dorcas walked outside to the garden and Remus followed. He offered her a seat at the garden table but she shook her head.
"No, no I won't be long." she swallowed. "I needed to speak to somebody and…well…I thought I'd ask you first."
Remus nodded, "Sure…what's the matter…?"
"It's…Caradoc. He's disappeared…"
Remus blinked, his eyes creased with concern now as he watched Dorcas carefully. He forgot on many occasions that she was a year older than Alice Longbottom, who was five years his senior. Her eyes darted to the ground as she processed her own words.
"Disappeared?" Remus asked carefully. Muggle disappearances had been happening all year, it was one of Voldermort's favourite past-times but he hadn't heard of a wizard being snatched from bed just yet…
"He's just…gone. There was a struggle in his home, last night. We got the call this morning and went to check it out with Edgar…I haven't told the Order yet…"
This confused Remus despite his initial surprise. Why Dorcas would come to him of all people? She was a hit wizard – she was a talented hit wizard with plenty of resources in the ministry for that matter. Why…?
"Remus," she began again, refocusing herself, "The MO is identical to Fenrir Greyback's…I wanted to speak to you first…"
Dorcas knew the moment she had spoken she'd made a mistake. This name meant nothing to him and probably for a good reason. She brought a hand to her mouth as something flashed in his eyes that wasn't warm and comforting like it normally was.
"What has Fenrir Greyback got to do with me?"
"Remus, I'm sorry – I thought you knew—"
"Thought I knew what?"
Dorcas Meadowes swallowed very hard and moved towards him. "My files…on the werewolf registry…they were updated properly a few weeks ago and Fenrir…is listed as the werewolf who…"
"Who what?"
"Remus, Fenrir Greyback is the werewolf who bit you."
"I can't believe he hasn't come...the selfish son of a bitch…."
James couldn't remember the last time Sirius looked this angry. He and Lily had popped round, as did Peter whom seemed cheered for seeing them all, to Sirius's place for his cousin's seventh birthday but Remus hadn't showed.
Sirius had rushed into the kitchen and was trying to find drinking glasses for Andromeda and Ted that were clean when James followed to help.
"Did he owl?" James asked, his own worry plastered on his face. Maybe it was more to it than just not turning up…after Marlene's death everyone was a target.
"No, but he said he would! Oh I'm so..so…"
James quickly took the glasses off Sirius so he could vent, and not break anything. Instead Sirius clenched his hands constantly, as though preparing for a fight and this made James feel worse. He hated it when Sirius and Remus were at odds with each other, which seemed to be recently more often than not. Couldn't they just talk it out?
Of course not, that would mean getting Remus to talk.
"The birthday girl doesn't look happy herself." James said, trying to distract Sirius from his rage, but this didn't help either. Sirius slammed a hand on the kitchen counter.
"She brought a present for Remus because last time he was recovering from his furry little problem and down in the basement" Sirius spat out. "I told him she'd be devastated if he wasn't here…and I was right. As usual. Stupid git."
"She'll get over it. It's her birthday!" James tried to put a happy turn on this. Birthdays were wonderful things usually. "Can't you…just... turn into a black dog and cheer her up?"
"I can't do that in front of Andromeda and Ted, they'll have a freak out moment. Besides, I shouldn't do that…I think I only got away with it that one time because she thought Remus had turned me into a dog…"
When Sirius and James finally returned to the Sirius's living room, Peter and Lily were talking to Andromeda and Ted. Well, they were rather listening as Ted was regaling them of a fascinating story of his youth. The story sounded like it was something to do with being on a scooter with Andromeda and making it his mission to ask her to marry him whilst driving on the most dangerous driving routes. Andromeda looked up at her husband from where she stood at his shoulder, her hand in his and said nothing but laugh.
It was nice to see laughter for the pair as Ted's muggle family had recently been attacked in Essex and there was little to laugh about these days.
Sirius realised that despite the little gathering, Dora wasn't with them. Usually she would be, one of the things that Sirius noticed was the way she loved to listen to people's stories. Her father was a master storyteller and Dora would sit and listen to her father talk for hours if he had the energy.
But when Sirius did find her she was sitting on the front step looking out at muggle London, her elbows on her knees wearing what looked like a beautiful little black dress and slip-ons that her mother had probably forced her into. She looked sadly down at the pavement; her hair had even gone to her natural brown colour that resembled her mothers. Sirius scooted down to sit next to her. Her eyes were large and sad looking, which made Sirius hate Remus all the more right then.
"What you doing out here?" Sirius said, "Birthday girls don't have to sit in the cold…aren't you listening to your dad?"
"I'm waiting for Moony." Dora said, playing with her fingers. "I paid for some chocolate with my pocket money to give him."
Sirius laughed, "Oh yeah, and how much was this chocolate of yours?"
"I don't know, mummy helped me count..." Dora pulled a face, not happy that she had been unable to give the correct answer, but her hair seemed to go lighter. "Daddy said that he likes chocolate, but Moony always gives me some…so it's his turn."
Sirius nods, but he's sad, how could someone disappoint a child like this? He nudged her with his knee teasingly and she copied, before finally resting her head against him. Though this would be a lost memory, her nose would never forget because she would always think of her cousin when she smelt fresh grass and butterbeer after this night. The pair sat like that for a long while, absorbing the night air before the laughing inside got louder and Sirius twigged that Andromeda was trying to find a way of cutting in to her husband's tales, that they had a seven year old to put to bed – something she had been trying to for the last half an hour.
"I think your parents want to go home…" Sirius whispered in her ear. Dora looked up horrified, her eyes watery.
"But Moony's chocolate…! I didn't get a chance to give it to him…"
"Don't worry, he'll get it when I see him."
Dora seemed reluctant to give it over but she did. It was even in wrapping paper that seemed to shine different colours in the light.
"You promise you'll give it to him and not have it yourself?" Dora said with a frown.
"Promise." Sirius said, holding up his hands in innocence and so the little Metamorphagus thrust the present into his hands and rushed to her father's legs inside the flat. Ted's hand unconsciously went to her hair and ruffled it affectionately and Sirius watched that as she did so, Dora looking up adoringly, her hair copied his, blonde and straw like and bouncy.
"Thank you for having us Sirius." Andromeda said once the marauder had joined the group. She kissed his cheek and Ted shook his hand and the Tonkses left without a word and Sirius kept his façade for as long as he could until finally the tension tore him in two. He was still surrounded by his friends as he carefully put Dora's gift on the side table.
Around him, James, Peter and Lily waited for the explosion.
"I'm going to Remus's, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind…" Sirius roared, grabbing his cloak from the hanger on the wall.
Lily frowned, stepping forward, trying to put a hand on his shoulder. "No you will not. It's late! His parents might be asleep…."
"He ruined our night, I'll go ruin theirs see how they like it."
"It's not their fault Remus isn't here!"
"He was supposed to be here, didn't you see her face earlier?" Sirius sucked in a breath and looked round at his three dearest friends. "How could he do that to her?"
James and Lily held hands and the joining of the two settled on Lily's stomach. Peter who looked like he was fretting over some internal thought suddenly piped up, his eyes forlorn.
"Well…when I saw him last he seemed pretty down…like…like he was guarding something. You know what he's like when he's facing a problem…." The trio watched Peter carefully before turning to look at each other. Peter continued with a strange look on his face.
"I mean, when he saw me that time…he said he had to move out of your house Sirius but…he seemed to be so low…"
Sirius's stomach sank, Remus had been lower recently, and since Marlene's death everything felt worse. Still holding his cloak he exhaled his anger and sat down on the sofa not turning to look at them. "That werewolf is going to be the death of me if I'm not careful…" Sirius said under his breath and James gave him a stern look before looking over to Peter.
"Remus really never mentioned anything?" James asked, "About why he left here?" he looked to both Sirius and Peter, but it was Peter who spoke.
"No, no he just…said he had to leave. That he wanted too. I don't remember anything else he said…" And then Peter looked to them all and covered his mouth. "Oh, oh…I just realised…I shouldn't have said."
Sirius's face fell. "Shouldn't have said what…?"
"I shouldn't have told you about all that, he said it would be our secret…"
The foursome shared nervous glances. Lily shook her head, "Why would he keep a secret so…vague like that? If he's upset or grieving or something is going on…he would have told you wouldn't he?"
Peter raised his shoulders in a semi-shrug. "I guess?"
Sirius found himself squeezing his hands again. "Unless it's something he doesn't want us to know about…because we wouldn't approve of…"
Sirius never finished what he was saying, but the insinuation made Lily frown.
"Remus isn't…Remus couldn't - wouldn't betray-"
"How do you know? He's not spoken to us properly for six months, and I can prove it because he's lived right here. We've not had a proper conversation. It's like he's a different person."
Lily blinked several times, but Sirius kept going. He was so angry he could feel the fire running through his skin.
"He's keeping secrets, he's breaking promises. He's being an ass. Why else would he do that?"
"Because…" Lily began, but she couldn't continue, her eyes wet, turning away and Sirius lifted his chin triumphantly. The marauder's face was a whirlwind of emotions from realisation to despair, to fury. He didn't want to believe this but it all felt like it had clicked in to place.
"Sirius stop it, you're upsetting her." Peter said worriedly, his own beady eyes wide.
"You have no proof that he's done anything but just avoid speaking to us about something…" James said carefully, he was giving Sirius a frown like had never given him before. They'd only ever had one fight ever and that was the time that they'd almost got Snape bitten by a werewolf…
"Well of course there's no proof Prongs if he's playing the other side—"
"STOP IT!"
The three men turned to Lily, who was holding herself as though wounded. Her eyes were watering. There was a pregnant pause, as the four of them looked to each other, when there was a noise near the front door; a small owl was tapping on the window pane with a letter attached to it's beak.
As they let in the owl in, it flew straight to Lily, the little piece of parchment sat in her fingers, which started to tremble as she read the words.
Her hand covered her mouth. If she had been upset before, she was upset now.
"Oh God…" Lily whispered.
"What?" James asked, he'd not been standing with her; he had been standing with Sirius and Peter who were leaning against the back of the sofa. "Who…?"
"It's from Lyall…" Lily said softly. "Hope…she…"
She couldn't say it so instead she passed the parchment for James to read, Sirius looking over his shoulder and Peter stood patiently beside them to hear the announcement.
The parchment read, in scratchy writing, loopy and slightly at an angle where it had been written very quickly and was smudged in places.
Lily,
Sorry I've woken you tonight. I wanted you to know that Hope has passed away this evening. Thank you for all your help at this time of grieving and I will keep in touch.
Lyall
AN: Excuse me whilst I cry like a baby in the corner somewhere...
