Sorry for the slight delay. There was a lot I wanted to get in this chapter, since this story is going to take a brief hiatus for finals season and I didn't want to leave you guys hanging. The next chapter will probably not come for another 2-3 weeks. It's not ideal, but at least won't be as long as this agonizing Glee hiatus.
By the time morning rolls around, with Rory continuing to do "as well as can be expected", Finn is just barely holding it together mentally. He's never been so exhausted in his life from staying up all night and not getting much sleep the night before, but is terrified to go to sleep for even a moment in case something were to happen or Rory needed him. The latter happened frequently since in his delirium Rory became extremely needy and couldn't handle not having either Kurt or himself at arm's reach. And that wasn't even taking into account the bizarre mood swings that required treating him with kid gloves.
What really is making it impossible for sleep to be an option is the constant threat that the younger boy might take a turn for the worse. He had already witnessed far too many near misses throughout the night to leave him forever traumatized. Though the worst of all was when something happened when he wasn't in the room. The texts he received from Kurt when he was forced to take time off were terrifying:
-"Had another 'episode'. There was lots of screaming and I think he might have been cursing us out in Irish. Now back to his sweet self."
-"His levels dropped again. Increased his O2 and doing ok"
-"Rory just had a seizure. Fine now. Waiting to hear from doctor…"
That last one was by far the worst. Knowing that the most dangerous thing to happen to Rory thus far had occurred when Finn wasn't there is unbearable to comprehend. In some completely screwed up way he is actually jealous of Kurt for getting to be there when it happened. After that none of them have been able to convince him to trade off with Kurt for the past two "shifts'. Kurt's probably furious at him, but at this point he's beyond being rational.
At around seven in the morning his primary doctor comes in with important news.
"The test results are in. The infection originated from his central line. We think that what happened was that in the rush to get the factor into him as quickly as possible when he came into the ER his central line wasn't accessed sterilely as it should have been, which allowed bacteria to enter his bloodsteam. It would be best if we surgically remove the port."
"Surgery? Have you forgotten that he has hemophilia. You can't just cut him open on a whim!" Finn snaps, no longer caring about being polite. He's exasperated because, as far as he can tell, everyone else seems to have forgotten about the reason he came to the hospital in the first place.
"We'll transfuse him with factor IX and platelets beforehand, so his risk of bleeding out will be minimal. It will take longer than normal for the wound to heal, but with proper precautions it should be fine."
"Precautions that apparently weren't taken two days ago. You just told me the reason Rory's on deaths door is because you guys made some stupid mistake and now you expect me to blindly trust you guys? No!"
"Finn that's enough," cuts in Burt. "I'm sorry, he's just overly protective. Though given his hemophilia the concern is valid. Does it absolutely need to come out?"
"If we want to stop this infection as quickly as possible, then yes it absolutely does. In many ways this is good news because this is something we can remove unlike most of the other possible sources. Removing it will help him out a lot. Can I get you to sign the consent form?"
"If it has to happen right now I will, but I'd like to consult with his parents first. I honestly don't know the first thing about his condition or Rory himself and don't feel confident making this judgment call."
"Yes, but be quick. We already have an OR booked for him."
As Burt calls Rory's parents Finn stares at Rory, who is currently sleeping, and imagines him in surgery. With a tube down his throat like he's seen in the medical dramas Kurt makes him watch and with doctors cutting into his chest. He shudders. Despite what the doctor said Finn is still not convinced that this is the best idea. The thought of anything sharp coming near Rory makes him want to punch someone and, in this case, it would be the surgeons who will be holding the knife.
Trying to distract himself from that impulse, Finn redirects his attention to Burt's phone conversation.
"I understand. Somewhere along the line my two boys seem to have adopted Rory as their little brother without telling us. Not that I mind of course. But yes, I agree that as things progress we should do that."
What were they talking about?
"All right, I'll call you back as soon as I hear more. Hang in there." Burt hangs up the phone before turning to address the doctor who has been impatiently hovering over them. "His parents agree to do the surgery, however they are adamant that Rory needs a central line. Apparently his veins are extremely prone to collapsing and even in the best of circumstances he needs several injections a week."
"That's good to know. If not having a stable circulatory access is dangerous for him we can install a new one while he's already under, but in a different location. Did they say whether he's ever gotten a port infection before?"
"He hasn't."
"Good. In which case we'll bring him down now."
Finn glances at Rory again, imagining how he might react if he wakes up while being wheeled down the hallway, unfamiliar with his surrounding and without Finn. It's a devastating image.
"Can I please come along? I'm terrified of how he'd react if he wakes up and-"
"Yes, that would actually be a good idea given his tendency towards panic attacks and the placating effect you seem to have on him. You can stay until we get him under."
"Kurt hey, wake up gorgeous."
Startled that he had nodded off Kurt's eyes snapped open and he jolts upright in the chair in panic. He's greeted by the sight of Blaine leaning over him.
"Blaine! What are you-? How long was I out?" he asked in a panic, glancing over at Carol.
"No more than ten minutes, don't worry."
"Rory?"
"Is fine, nothing has changed and I would have woken you up if anything had."
"There's no shame in falling asleep for a few minutes Kurt. Don't be so hard on yourself," says Blaine giving him a kiss on the cheek. Easy for him to say having not spent the night with the sole goal of keeping Rory alive. And he had fallen asleep on the job. That was unacceptable; even though Finn hadn't let him in the room for hours. It's so incredibly frustrating, yet he's trying his best to be patient since he knows Finn is having an especially tough time dealing with this.
"What are you doing here?"
"We tagged along with Mercedes to drop off the supplies you asked for." It's only then that he notices Mercedes and Rachel standing by Carol, each holding an armload of wrapped presents.
"Last night after my visit I got together with New Directions and we all went shopping for him. As an apology and get well soon gift. I also got some decorations for his room. Is he up for visitors right now?" asks Mercedes hopefully.
"No. He just got taken down to surgery."
"What on earth for? I thought he was in the hospital because of blood loss from the nosebleed?" asks Rachel.
"He has this implanted device in his chest that made it easier for him to get shots of the medicine he needs every few days. I'm not really sure how it works, but somehow it got infected and that's what's making him this deathly sick so they are taking it out."
All three of them stare at him in shock and confusion, none of them seem to realize yet just how bad off Rory really is.
"Did you find him any Toy Story stuff?" Kurt asks Mercedes in order to break the uncomfortable silence.
"Yes! I got him a stuffed animal Bullseye, the horse from the second movie. They also had lots of action figures, but I thought something soft would be more appropriate for a hospital stay. I also got him a Toy Story fleece blanket."
"That's fantastic. Could we unwrap those ones now? Rory won't be up to opening presents anytime soon, but those would be great comfort items for him to have. He's in a lot of pain and such."
What Kurt is really thinking is that they might help with Rory's random emotional breakdowns, but isn't going to betray his trust and reveal that to the others.
"What is she doing here?" came a bellow from across the hall. It's Finn, having returned from taking Rory to the operating room, red faced and furious. Kurt had been afraid of this.
"I brought some presents and such for Rory. To apologize. We also wanted to see how he's doing," said Mercedes softly, looking terrified. Kurt would be too if Finn's death glare was directed at him.
"And what, you think that will make it all better?" Finn snarls. "You did this! You attacked him! He could die and it's all your fault! How can you even live with yourself?"
Kurt and Blaine both move so that they are standing in between the two of them in case he loses control altogether. Finn looks slightly deranged.
"I didn't mean to hurt him. I would never. I'm so sorry…" whispers Mercedes.
"Shut up. You have no fuc-"
"Finn!" Carol interrupts, firmly taking her son by the arm. "It's time to take a break. Come with me to get some coffee. Now!"
"But Mom, I can't just let-"
"Either you walk away right now or I'm making you go home to get some sleep. Your choice."
That threat was enough. With one last furious look at Mercedes, Finn huffs away behind his mom.
"Oh my god Mercedes, I'm so sorry," says Kurt once he's out of sight, turning towards his rigid and shell shocked friend. "He doesn't mean it. He's just terrified and sleep deprived and isn't great at expressing his emotions so it comes out in anger."
"He has a right to be mad at me. It is my fault."
"No Mercedes, the reality is Finn actually blames himself for what happened but doesn't know how to process it, so he's taking it out on you. Don't take anything he said personally."
Mercedes doesn't say anything.
"Well, um, I guess we better go so we're not late to first period," says Rachel uncomfortably. "The student body president speeches are today Kurt. You'll be there right?"
"Not a chance. I'm staying here." How could she even think that mattered right now?
"Okay, well all the presents are in this bag," says Blaine, handing them over. "And in this one is all of the decorations for his room. We got wall pinups of his favorite stuff according to his facebook page and some St. Patricks day decorations from a party store. They actually sell them even though it's November. Take care of yourself Kurt."
"Thanks," Kurt whispers giving each of them a hug and his boyfriend a quick kiss.
Even in his exhausted and emotionally numb state, Kurt can't help but notice as they are leaving the intense look on Rachel's face. She's up to something.
Once Finn successfully convinces his Mom that he's calmed down, even if it's not entirely true, she allows him return to Rory's hospital room to wait for his return from surgery. In the brief time that he had been out Kurt had decorated the room with a bunch of pictures and St. Patrick's Day decorations. The room has become an explosion of Irishness. Hopefully it will put a smile on Rory's face. If it can achieve that it will almost be enough for Finn to forgive Mercedes for what she did to him. Almost.
After a half hour of agonizing anxious waiting a nurse comes in to report that the surgery had gone well and that there hadn't been any uncontrollable bleeding as Finn had feared. He couldn't be more relived. At least that's one thing less thing on the mile long list for him to worry about.
Instead of bringing him to the recovery room, as is typical after surgery, he's brought right back to the PICU so he can be more closely monitored. Because of this he's still under the influence of the anesthesia. He's still half asleep when out of nowhere he starts to vomit as a side effect.
"Finn, sit him up or he'll choke," his mom orders, grabbing a nearby kidney basin and holding it under his chin so that no more of the sick gets on his bare chest. Finn sits behind Rory on the bed and holds him up firmly in his arms as he continues to throw up stomach fluid and dry heave. In this moment it's probably a good thing he hasn't had anything to eat for nearly two days.
"I know honey, this isn't fair," his Mom soothes once he's done and Rory starts to cry out of sheer misery. It is completely unfair that he has to suffer through this on top of everything else he's already going through. The poor kid just can't catch a break.
His mom gets a washrag to clean him up and continues to speak lovingly to him in a very motherly way as she does so. Once done she leans over and gives him a gentle kiss on the forehead. That ended up being a bad move.
"Mammy?" Rory asks, eyes closed and still completely delirious.
"No honey, it's Carol. I'm Finn's mom." Finn can tell by the look in her eyes that her heart is completely breaking right now. Finn's had already broken into dust hours ago.
"Where's mine?" asks Rory, his voice breaking as his tears increase in intensity. Neither of them knows how to respond to that.
"I…want…me…Mammy!" Rory gasps in between desperate, body-convulsing sobs. Finn was wrong; his heart can still be broken into smaller pieces.
This time around there is nothing they can do to calm him down. Finn holds him tight and rocks him in his arms; he even tries singing to him in desperation. His mom gives Rory the Bullseye that their friends had brought in which Rory clings to like a lifeline, but it does nothing to stop the outpour of raw, fever-induced emotion. Eventually the doctors are forced to give him a strong sedative that completely knocks him out mid cry.
That surgery had better work, because Finn doesn't know how much more of this he can take.
Kurt paces back and forth down the hospital hallway, waiting for news. Or for Finn to stop being so stubborn and take a break so that he can spend some time with Rory. Five hours into Finn's Rory-time embargo and his patience is now running dry. So much so that when Blaine calls him on his cell phone he can't help but snap at him in irritation for interrupting his brooding.
"What do you want?"
"Kurt, the election speeches are going on right now." This again? Can't anyone take some perspective?
"I know Blaine!" he snaps. "We've already talked about this. Do you really think I give a damn about that right now?"
"Rachel just withdrew and is giving a speech endorsing you on the grounds of what you are doing for Rory. I'm putting the phone on speaker and holding it up. Just listen!"
"So I ask you all, who do you want to be your president? Rick the Stick, who is a known bully. Brittney, who attacked a freshmen member of the Glee club and injured him badly enough to put him in the hospital? Yet is somehow still allowed to run despite being suspended for this. Or do you want Kurt, who personally took the injured student to the hospital and hasn't left his side since. Kurt Hummel cares more about looking after this one student, this one freshmen, then he does winning this election, which he needs to get into the college of his dreams. But to him this kid is more important. Now, if Kurt would do all that for just one student he didn't even know, imagine what he might do for the entire school if he gets elected?"
Kurt is so very touched by what Rachel is doing for him. Yet she couldn't have gone about it in a worse way. Now the entire school is going to know what happened to Rory.
As if he didn't already have enough to worry about.
Rory feels like he's been dragged to hell and back followed by a quick trip through the meat grinder. He thought he felt bad earlier, but this has reached a whole new level of yuckiness. His head is pounding, he's nauseous, his lungs feel like sponges, the rest of him feels like lead and he's simultaneously freezing cold and extremely hot. Right now he would like nothing more than to go back to sleep and make it go away, but the pain and that god-awful beeping noise overhead isn't making that an option. He forces himself to open his eyes.
The first thing he notices is that he's holding something soft, a stuffed horse… no it's Bullseye. He has a stuffed Bullseye! He'd be excited if the next thing he notices wasn't that he's almost completely naked, save for his underwear. He wishes he wore boxers today (yesterday? Two days ago? Three?) instead of briefs so he'd be slightly less exposed.
Just to make things even weirder there are pictures of NASCAR, Elvis and Stonehendge all across the hospital room walls which, incidentally, is not the room he remembers being in. Meanwhile there are shamrock streamers hanging overhead. He's entered the twilight zone.
He's relieved to spot Finn sitting in the corner hunched over his cell phone. There are bags from lack of sleep under his swollen eyes, he looks like a complete wreak. Rory hopes that everything's okay.
"Finn?" He's alarmed by how weak his voice sounds. It comes out in an almost squeak.
Finn is immediately is by his side, stroking his cheek and speaking to him as if he's a small child. "Rory, hey sweetheart it's okay. I'm here. Just relax."
What on earth? This is even more alarming then all the other weirdness thus far.
"Where am I? What's happening?" he croaks out.
Finn looks startled. "Rory? Are you with me?" He waves his hand in front of his face. Rory flinches away.
"As opposed to what Finn Hudson?"
Finn lets out a whoop of joy and bounces out of sight.
"Mom, he's awake! Like, for real."
Rory tries to move so he can see who Finn's talking to, but his body doesn't seem to be listening to his demands. Even turning his head slightly takes an extravagant amount of effort. What's wrong with him?
Finn's back by his side, grasping his hands in his and is simultaneously crying and grinning. If Rory wasn't so exhausted he might just start panicking, since this could not get any freakier.
"What's happening?" he asks again.
A woman he doesn't know comes into his line of vision. "You got a bad infection from your port and you're in the PICU. We're so happy to see you doing better."
This is doing better? He's never felt so sick in his life. His head is reeling with a million questions, but he can't seem to organize his thoughts. His brain feels weird, like he's been caught in a light fog that's slowing everything down.
"Who are you?" he asks at last, since this woman isn't wearing any hospital employee attire, yet is acting overly familiar.
"I'm Carol, Finn's mom. We've already met, several times actually, but I suppose you were pretty out of it then. What's the last thing you do remember?"
"Em, I definitely remember Toy Story. And I think I can remember telling Finn I felt sick. Everything else is fuzzy." If he thinks hard he can make out some silhouettes of movement happening around him, a few odd phrases and a significant amount of pain, but none of that is helpful.
"That all happened in the late afternoon yesterday. It's now a little after noon. I'll let Finn catch you up on everything that's happened and I'm going to step out to let everyone to let them know you're back with us."
"Everyone?"
"Kurt, my husband, your parents, Mr. Schuster. You've given us all quite the scare."
"My parents and Mr. Schue?" he asks, looking at Finn in alarm as soon as Carol steps out.
"Yes, but I swear I had nothing to do with it. After you got sick our parents took charge of the situation and contacted them. They, um, kind of had to anyway since, um, we weren't sure if you were going to make it for a while."
What? Finn has got to be exaggerating. He can be a little dramatic sometimes.
"Do you really not remember anything after the movie? At all?" There seemed to be some hidden meaning behind that question.
"Nothing… I didn't do anything embarrassing, did I?" he asks, afraid of the answer.
"Not at all," Finn replies, but his tone and face say otherwise. Dear god, what could he have done? Did he cry again? Puke on one of them? Wet himself?
He doesn't have a chance for further inquiry because a doctor, one he hasn't met before, comes into examine him.
"Your temperature is down to 102.5, that is excellent."
"What would that be in Celsius?" he asks since the American measurement system has no meaning to him.
"About 39.2." Whoa, that's considered a big improvement? Just how sick has he been? He wants to ask more, but despite just waking up is so incredibly tired and is having a hard time keeping his eyes open.
"At this point it would be all right to cover him up in some blankets. He's probably cold," says the doctor, addressing Finn as if Rory's not capable of speaking for himself.
Finn picks up a pile of blankets from the corner of the room, and gently covers him up with them, essentially tucking him in. One of them looks like it might be a Toy Story blanket, but it could just be his imagination since everything is getting out of focus in his exhaustion.
"Are you sleepy Rors? You look it. Why don't you take a little nap?" Finn coos, petting his hair like he's a puppy. Being treated like a child in incredibly irritating, but Rory doesn't fight it since he's already losing the battle against sleep that is rapidly overtaking him.
The last thing he hears before completely falling under is the doctor's voice:
"I have to stress that Rory is still a very sick young man. He's going to have a long recovery, but I can now say with reasonable confidence that he should recover."
To be continued…
