Dan pulls me in for a hug but I have to fight back the tears.

'You'll tell me if something's wrong though, won't you?' he asks when we pull apart.

I nod. 'Yeah'.

'Good. No secrets?'

'No secrets' I agree; the guilt pooling in the pit of my stomach.

I don't know how much longer I can go on for like this. I'm dying yet I have to pretend everything's okay. I only have 14 days to live my life before it ends. I'm holding the most deadly secret of all.

'What do you want to do now?' Dan asks me.

I shrug. 'I dunno'.

'What's next on your list then?'

The things I want to do can't be achieved in the next two weeks. I want to travel the world; step foot on every continent, travel to every state in the US, see the cherry blossom in Japan, visit Ayres Rock in Australia. I want to sky dive. I want to scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef. I want to learn how to ski. I want to get married. I want to have children. I want to have grandchildren. But I can't. I won't live to see any of those days. I knew I was going to die, but not this quickly. I didn't expect it to be so sudden.

I shrug, the lump in my throat returning. Because I know I won't be able to live my life for much longer. The list seems pointless now. I'm dying, there's no escaping it and no matter what I achieve in these next two weeks, what does it mean? Nothing. Because I'll be dead. Gone. What's the point?

'I…' I stutter.

'Madds?' he seems concerned. 'What's wrong? Don't you want to continue with it?'

I shake my head, the tears now flowing freely down my face.

'Why?'

'Because….Because…' I should I tell him? Should I tell him that his best friend of 16 years is going to die in less than a fortnight? And there's nothing anyone can do to save her? 'It doesn't matter. I'm just tired. Ignore me'.

Dan looks dubious but he lets it slide. He looks around the room and his eyes focus on something in the corner and they light up. He gets out of bed and retrieves the object for placing it down next to me.

'Wanna go for a picnic?' he says, smiling.

'How old are we?'

'Not too old for a picnic' he winks and I have to smile.

'Fine' I grumble, swinging my legs out of bed and heaving myself up.

We walk down the stairs and into the kitchen where my mum is sitting at the table reading a bunch of medical documents. As soon as she sees Dan, she slides them under a newspaper.

'Hey Dan, how are you?'

'I'm great thanks, Mrs Campbell. Yourself?'

'I'm okay thanks. What are you two up to then?'

'We're going on a picnic' Dan announces, sounding pleased with himself. I bite back my grin.

'Well, have fun. Stay safe' she says, staring directly at me. I drop my gaze, feeling uncomfortable.

We make the sandwiches and grab a load of junk food, stuffing it into a bag. Just before we exit the house, Dan rushes off upstairs and returns with my camera.

'Can't forget this' he laughs. I smile and usher him out of the house, after calling out a goodbye to my mum.

'Here?' Dan asks, standing on a grassy patch near the stream.

'Sure' I say, sitting down.

He sits down next to me and holds my hand, his other hand on my knee. I lean into him, our breathing in sync.

I look around. The hundreds of trees, all standing tall, their leaves brushing against each other, each leaf a different shape, a different shade; their branches tangled. I look at the flowers, the stems bright and green, and the petals vivid, the flower leaning slightly to one side. I look at the stream, the water moving slowly; leaves being carried down; the water a dark, murky, blue; the occasional ripple of a twig falling into the water; the sound it makes when it hits the surface; sinking under then resurfacing. I look across the fields into the distance, the too long grass; the odd dandelion standing out against the green. I hear the rustle of the leaves as the wind blows ever so gently. Everything is so much more beautiful when you really look.

We sit in silence for a while, together but alone with our own thoughts. I wonder what life will be like when I'm dead. People will move on, they always do. Dan will find someone else, a prettier, happier, cleverer, healthier girl whom he falls in love with. I'm the girl with cancer. The best friend. He'll get over it, I'm sure of it.

'Sandwich?' Dan says, interrupting my thoughts.

I shake my head. 'No thanks'.

'Come on Madds, you haven't eaten anything all day'.

'I'm fine' I insist. 'I'm not hungry'.

But that's a lie. I am hungry. But if I eat, the bloody vomiting will start back up again. I can't eat. For Dan's sake. I don't want him finding out that I'm dying. And that there's nothing he can do to save me.

Dan begins to eat and I'm returned with my thoughts. I'm not anyone special. Thousands of people have cancer. Thousands of people die from cancer every day. I'm not unique and I never will be. In less than two weeks, I'm not going to be breathing anymore. I'm never going to do everything I want to do. I never thought that I'd be the girl who dies at 21. I never thought that I'd get cancer. It's funny how some things turn out, huh?

'Madds?' Dan taps my shoulder, bringing me back into the real world. 'Earth to Maddie'.

'Yeah?'

'You've been zoned out for about 10 minutes, what have you been thinking about?'

'Nothing in particular really' I lie.

I want to tell him. I really do. But I can't. For his sake.

I shake of the sad feeling, I want to be happy. I've only got less than 14 days to live my life.

'Did you mean what you said earlier?' I whisper, looking into his eyes.

He seems confused for a moment before he gets it. 'Yeah, I did; he says before kissing me gently.

We lie back against the grass and stare up at the cloudless blue sky, wrapped in each other's arms.

'Can you promise me one thing?'

'Anything' he says, nuzzling my cheek.

'Never forget me. No matter what happens to me. Please remember me. Please' I whisper, my voice catching ever so slightly.

'I promise. Of course I won't Madds, you're my best friend and you have been for 16 years. You've always been here for me. Of course I'll always remember you Madds, I love you'.

I freeze. Did he really just say that?

'What?' I say in shock.

'I've always loved you Madds, but I just thought that you only saw me as a friend, so I never acted on it' he replies, looking at me slightly.

I move closer and rest my head against his. 'I love you too' I murmur, staring up at the blue sky, thinking of all the endless possibilities. Then my world comes crashing down. I don't have endless possibilities, I have a set number of possibilities yet I'm only able to achieve a few of them. I'm dying. I'm so close. In a few weeks, I'll be gone.

'Really?'

'Really'.

I lace my hand with his.

'Why did you ask me that?'

'Because in a few years' time, you'll find someone better' I say honestly.

'I won't. Because there isn't anyone who can be better than you, Madds. Even if we're not physically together, we'll always be together. I'm always here for you. No one can take that away'.

'Forever?' I say.

'Forever'.