A/N: Again, multitudes of thanks to those of you who take the time to review! Some of you have worked out where I am going with this...kudos! You may each have one hour with Seeley or Tempe, location and activity of your choosing! Two hours for those of you who got the Cut Throat Bitch Tessa/Amber reference!
EDIT - for americanisation !
--
"So what makes you think you can go without sex for an indefinite period of time?"
"Because you will be worth the wait, Bones."
She gulped audibly, then deliberately and slowly rolled her chair back a few inches.
"Ok."
"Ok." He straightened and nodded and turned. His fist was just reaching up to push the glass door when she spoke.
"There are always other ways to release tension and seek gratification other than sexual intercourse. I am allowed to practise those?"
He stopped, not being able to turn and face her. "Sure Bones. That's no problem at all."
"Ok."
"Ok."
And he left.
--
"Shit, shit, shit."
And now that was going to be all he thought about for the rest of the day. And night.
He slammed his keys down on the kitchen table and roughly pulled his tie loose.
Bones was going to go home alone and...do that thing...no doubt thinking of him while she did it, and he wasn't going to do a damn thing about it.
"This was not the plan!" he yelled at his empty apartment.
It didn't answer back.
He strode to the bedroom and yanked the closet doors open, catching his thumb in the lock.
"Shit," he muttered, staring at the bright trickle rolling down to the palm of his hand. He lifted his thumb to his mouth and sucked the wound. The bitter tang on his lips sparked a memory. She'd been wearing a deep red suit the day they kissed.
"No, dammit." In the past three weeks he had spent enough time allowing himself to relive that moment. And he couldn't do it anymore, not after today and not after what she said. Not knowing what she was probably doing this very moment.
No, now would be the time also to run over the million reasons why waiting was the right thing to do and why this pact, that, damnshitdamn, seemed like it was going to stick, was a sensible decision. But he couldn't stand to list again the very sensible and logical conditions they had placed on their progression, especially after he had considered himself cunning enough to talk her out of it. Taking away her ability to have casual sex to get through the self imposed dry spell was his master plan!
"You're a fool, Seeley."
He jerked his thumb out of his mouth and, not caring about the inevitable stain it would leave on the expensive fabric, tugged his jacket off. He reached to retrieve a hanger, but they were all tangled together and in his frustration he couldn't work one lose. Defeated by a piece of metal wire, he spun round, cursed loudly again and threw his jacket over the back of a chair.
What he could do is the other thing he had taken up as yet another habit. Crank down the temperature and have the coldest bath possible to blast the day away. In the three weeks since they shared a maddeningly passionate and indelible kiss, and more importantly voiced their feelings, he'd spent so much time in the shower he should have developed gills.
He toed his shoes off and pulled black socks down over his heels. He slung them on the bed and stared at them. Unsurprisingly, his ties and buckles had got even more garish. Conversely his socks had gone dark. He had to temper himself, he had to employ one reminder to survive not being able to touch her. As with his gambling survival techniques, namely a poker chip in his pocket at all times, his black socks were another. The daily ceremony of dressing allowed him a reminder of the boundaries he mustn't and wouldn't cross during the day. Removing the socks in the evening gave him another few seconds to congratulate himself for surviving.
Today he didn't feel much like self congratulation.
He paused to wiggle his toes on the cool, dark wood of his bedroom floor then slouched into the bathroom. Slipping the plug into the hole, he turned the ice cold water on full. Sitting on the rim of the tub he muttered to himself. "No idea what was I thinking, very smart woman, knows when she is being manipulated, fell into my own trap, dammit."
He flinched as cold spray hit the small of his back. He gripped the faucets and turned them off, finally removing his boxers and sucking in a deep breath before taking the plunge. The water stole his tightly held air as the Baltic waves lapped across his belly.
He looked down. Well, self gratification was out.
He managed less than a minute before jumping out, suitably chilled and desire quenched, if not thoroughly cleansed. Feeling marginally better about climbing into bed on his own, he towelled himself dry and yanked on a clean pair of boxers.
"You're fine," he muttered, not adding as long as he didn't think about Bones doing...that thing... chilled areas regardless, he would need to grab a long piece of toilet tissue and take that to bed too.
He punched his pillow into a manageable shape and lay back, grabbing the remote from his bedside table. For ten minutes he flicked channels, then surrendered and pressed the off button. And so he found himself resorting to the one thing he knew would take his mind completely off what his partner was doing, probably right at that moment.
He picked up the phone and dialled.
"Hey...Hey Rebecca. Yeah, I'm sorry to call again...I know I promised. I just...no, everything is ok. Is he still up?...I just thought he might be? ...No really everything is ok, I just wanted to...yeah...yeah?...Ok thanks...Hey Parker. Yeah sorry to stop you getting in bed, bud, I just thought you might like to tell your old Pops what you did at school today? Yeah really?...That sounds cool..."
--
She slammed the door to her fridge closed and uttered an expletive as she heard glass bottles rattle and fall over. Unusually, she didn't bother to reopen the fridge and set everything straight. Instead she grabbed a bottle opener from the granite work surface and flipped the top off a beer.
This was apparently going to be much more difficult than it should be, and she was not doing anything to ease their situation. She was angry with herself. He didn't want to allow them to seek gratification so she tormented him.
"Dammit, Booth," she muttered to her empty apartment.
This was ridiculous. Every night for the past three weeks she had come home, to no one and nothing, and that had never felt wrong before. Even with her newfound appreciation of family, with her father back in the picture and Russ reasonably close by, she still valued her space, her time. She was used to coming home with thoughts to organize for the next day, a chapter of a book to write or more often than not these past few years, a new experience to evaluate and decipher. But too much had been clouding her mind in the past months and that was one of the reasons for this damn Pact.
Before the Pact she had been well aware of her feelings for Booth. Partners, friends and then at some point yet to be determined, lovers. It shouldn't be this hard. The Pact was meant to see to that.
She hadn't said what she'd said to tease him, to make it harder for them both. "Even if really he did start it," she reasoned. She wanted to make it all mundane, take away what Booth called magic. She never used to believe in magic.
And then he had kissed her.
She sighed, accepting that she was never going to sleep without doing exactly what she threatened she was going to do, especially if she let her mind investigate that particular powerful memory again.
"No," she said out loud to solidify the sentiment. If she continued to compartmentalize, to rationalize, to look at things clinically, this time would go a lot quicker.
Throwing her head back, she drank the entire bottle of beer in one then pressed her hand to her lips to squash a not very quiet belch.
"Damn him." She could be out right now working out this frustration. There was that man at her gym, James she thought his name was. He was tall, with good posture and well defined musculature. He watches her and she knows he knows she knows that he is watching. She was sure if she wanted to she could work off some biological necessities with James.
Throwing the glass into the recycling bin, she strode to the bathroom, changed quickly into cotton pajama pants and a tank top, and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail. Staring for a long time into the mirror, she eventually picked up a cotton pad and wiped the day's make up off. The routine calmed her, but as she roughly brushes her teeth, her thoughts wandered again.
"Damn him." She didn't want to satisfy her urges with anyone else but him. They cleared that up three weeks ago. "Ridiculous!"
She sat stiffly on the edge of her bed and thought of the 'gift' Angela gave her shortly after she told her about the Pact. Sliding open the drawer of her nightstand where she had hidden it, she looked down at it and promptly slammed the drawer shut. She threw back the covers and slid across the bed to the far side, away from the offending object. Another irrationality, but they were becoming more and more common in her life.
There was something she wanted to do, something she had done almost every night for months, until recent events caused her to put that act on hold. Sometimes she called him to discuss a case, sometimes to ask a question about a programme she had seen on her new TV but didn't understand. Sometimes she rang to yell at him and this felt like it should be one of those times. When you have a problem with someone, go right to the source, Angela had told her once.
She turned and looked towards the phone on her bedside table and reached her hand towards it.
"This probably won't help," she murmured as she picks up the handset and dialed.
Busy tone.
The ache that had been settled in her belly for weeks intensified.
Booth had tried to manipulate her today and she wasn't sure why. But at least she knew now what she had to do. Knew that she had to go and see someone who would be able to explain in terms she could understand, and support her logical conclusion in this matter.
Tomorrow she would go and see Zack.
--
A/N: Yes siree, emotional rollercoaster does the big loop da loop in the next chapter. Should be up in short order but as always reviews make me go faster!
