As a side note, this site is kind of limited in terms of formatting options. Which is unfortunate since it gets in the way of few things I had planned for this story, things that can still be done slightly differently with a bit of explanation as to what it's supposed to be, but the act of pointing them out takes away some of the subtlety of it.

Oh well… What will be, will be I guess.

That being said, Sans's dialogue was supposed to be in comic sans, but is in bold because that's about the best I can do. Make of that what you will.


Cold it truly was. As Ryan came upon a second pair of doors, a draft of chill air cut right through his clothes and made him shiver. And when he reached out to open them, the chill sank straight into his bones. For an instant, his vision went white and a bell seemed to ring in his head. All sensation was drowned out in the noise. He could not think; he could not breathe.

When he came to, he was on his hands and knees in the middle of a snow-covered forest. There was just enough light that he could see a few feet in front of him to just beyond the edge of the first few trees surrounding the small clearing. He stood up, brushing the snow off of his already aching hands, and tried to get his bearings. There really was a forest underground, he realized. Though, at that point he wondered why he had ever doubted it.

The tall trees were, for the most part, bare trunks that shot high above his head before shooting out into the shapes of evergreens with their braches weighed down by the thick snow. The snow was almost a foot high in places, except where he stood where it was only a couple of inches at most. It looked as if someone had come through and cleared a path just before the last storm, if such a thing even happened. The path stretched out ahead of him to be lost from sight as it curved through the dense trees. Where he could see between them, there was little more than shadows. The dim light gave the impression of twilight, though if he knew anything, he was certain that night was about as likely come as day here. He had learned that in the ruins the monsters had set up a spell to increase light from the center of the dome in order to improve overall visibility. It was bright enough to make a difference, but subtle enough not to blind anyone that happened to look up.

He looked up past the trees and tried to imagine the hollow dome above his head, half again as big as the one that housed the ruins. A sound from behind him made him jump and turn around. There was nothing there. There was, however, something not far back into the trees. Stepping through a few to get to another clearing, he came up to a set of double doors with a familiar glyph carved into their face. The doors themselves looked like they had been carved out of the rock around them. He tried to push them open. But nothing happened.

They sat in the side of a cliff, not the edge of the dome like he had thought it would. The wall of rock ended abruptly about twenty feet above his head. He wondered what might be up there, but there was not a hand or foothold in sight. A gust of wind blew through the clearing, stinging his face and turning him back in the direction he had come. All around him, the trees made a thick and foreboding wall preventing his progress in any direction other than the path away from the clearing he had woken up in. Seeing his only other option as getting lost and starving to death, he reluctantly began to follow the path.

He was not sure how long he had been walking when he realized the forest had gone completely silent. In the beginning, a soft breeze had whistled through the trees that now seemed to truly tower over him. But the air was still now. The crunch of his steps was absorbed by the snow and trees. Yet his breathing somehow seemed amplified in the silence. He forced himself to breathe through his nose though it was already starting to run. He shoved his hands in his pockets; he was not good with the cold, and the extra shirt he had put on was not helping as much as he had hoped.

His eyes began to dart between the shadows of the trees before he could stop himself, looking for things that were not there. He could not shake the feel he was being watched. Suppressing the urge to shiver, he thought about making a fire to keep himself warm. But, before he could fish his lighter out of his pocket, he thought he heard a branch snap behind him and he spun around to stare back the way he came. The path curved back into the trees not far away from where he stood. Anything could be hiding there, but in the dim light, he could not make anything out. He shook his head in a vain attempt to rid himself of his paranoia. Walking faster, he whispered to himself, "Better I just avoid everything." He thought he heard footsteps behind him.

Again, there was nothing. No prints besides his own and nothing in the trees that he could see. His pulse quickened as he walked on. The forest seemed to grow thicker as he went, closing around him. The path became narrower and he could see nothing beyond a dozen feet in front of him as it twisted and turned through the trees. Until, suddenly, the forest broke in wake of a wide fissure in the ground.

The crack in the stone was a good ten feet wide at its narrowest point and ran off in both directions as far as Ryan could see; which, still, was not very far. Roots from trees stuck out from its edge in various places near the top and he could not see the bottom. The hole split the path in two. However spanning it was a narrow wooden bridge that looked very hastily put together. Nails hung half in and bent at odd angles in the planks, the logs that served as its support were cracked and split; it looked bad enough that he was beginning to think trying to jump it may be the better option. Or at least trying to find another way.

Before the rickety bridge, spanning the width of the trail and connected by two trees, was an array of logs placed together to form a sort of wall. Though calling it a wall was more than a stretch. The logs were wide enough apart that two of him could walk through the gap shoulder to shoulder. Perhaps it simply was not done.

In his consideration, the feeling of being watched crashed back down on him suddenly. Before he could push it away, he heard another noise. This time he was sure it was footsteps crunching through the snow almost directly behind him.

As he readied to turn and face this unknown threat a voice practically whispered in his ear, making him freeze. "Human." The voice said. "Don't you know how to greet a new pal?" How they could have snuck up on him like that, he had no clue. The voice was flat, and it seemed to resonate in his skull. It certainly did not sound like someone who wanted to be his friend. "Turn around and shake my hand." It told him.

He could not run. Not only did he not trust the bridge, he would most likely be dead before he took the first step. Whatever was behind him had to be close enough to reach out a touch him. And beyond being able to sneak up on him silently, he had no idea what it was capable of. He could try to fight, but that seemed equally as futile. Slowly, he turned to face the voice. A shape stood in the shadow of one of the logs that made up the wall. It was small, hardly half his height. Beyond that, he could make nothing out. The figure extended a mitten covered hand out of the shadow; a blue sleeve covered its arm.

A million and one reasons why this was a bad idea flashed through his mind and he extended his own hand and they shook. The sound of a wet fart crashing through the silence of the forest made him jump back. The figure casually stepped out of the shadow, laughing to itself in a much different voice than Ryan had heard before. "heheh, the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick" It was a skeleton, the bare skull and empty eye sockets made that obvious enough. Its jaw seemed permanently set in a wide smile and small lights in its eyes made the face much more friendly. It almost looked more like the cartoon version of a skeleton than the real thing, seeming wider than bones should. It wore a blue hoodie over a white turtle neck and black basketball shorts. The skeleton removed the mitten on the hand he had shaken to reveal boney fingers and, unsurprisingly, a small whoopee cushion. "it's always funny" he was saying, "anyways, you're a human, right?"

It took a moment for Ryan to register the question the skeleton had asked. With his casual tone, he almost missed it. When it did click, he nearly made a break for the trees immediately. Toriel's voice echoed through his thoughts, they will not hesitate to kill you if they find out what you are. But, in truth, he was too scared to move. Could everything really unravel that fast?

The monster did not wait for a response, taking his shock as confirmation. "that's hilarious. i'm sans, sans the skeleton" The skeleton seemed to be waiting for him to say something, but Ryan was still debating the futility of making a run for it. Eventually, it shrugged and went on. "you know, i'm actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but, you know, i don't really care about capturing anybody. now my brother, papyrus, he's a human-hunting FANATIC. actually, he should be on his way over here soon" He pointed behind Ryan to the other side of the bridge. There was nothing beyond trees and snow that he could see, but the last thing he needed was two monsters here. "no need to look so scared. hey, i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone"

Ryan snapped out of his trance. "Wait, hold on."

"oh, so he CAN talk" the skeleton interrupted, "well, there's no time for holding on. you don't wanna get captured, do you?"

Reluctantly, he saw the monster's point. At the moment, this sans seemed to want to help him, though how taking toward the danger helped he could not see. Pushing his doubts and his questions aside for the moment, he turned back to the bridge and hesitated. There was no way it could support any weight. The monster gave him a shove, saying, "c'mon, scaredy-bones, it ain't gonna bite you. it's the bark you got to worry about" The push knocked him onto the bridge. It shook incredibly, but it held. Not wanting to stress test it any longer than necessary, he practically ran to the other side. He let go of a breath he had not realized he held once he made it. sans casually walked by him and gestured him to follow.

They came to a clearing in the trees. Still no other monster in sight, the only thing the clearing held that was of note was a snow-covered, wooden booth near its edge. Getting his attention by tapping him on the shoulder, sans told him, "quick, behind that conveniently-placed lamp" he pointed over to the booth where there was, in fact, a very large lamp standing next to it. It was a blue vase-shape that was wider near the top than at the bottom with a purple lamp shade on top of it. Had that been there a moment ago? "hurry!" the skeleton urged him. Still unsure of a better option, Ryan ran over to the lamp and ducked behind it.

It was just tall and wide enough that if he did not move a muscle nothing would see him coming from either direction. And not moments after pressing his back to it – the ceramic of the lamp as tall as him were easily heaver – he heard footsteps crunch through the snow coming from the direction he had been heading. The footsteps stopped as they came near where he thought sans had been standing. "sup bro?" he heard the skeleton say to the new comer.

"You know what is 'sup,' brother." Another voice said. Ryan guessed that must be Papyrus. "It's been eight days and you still haven't recalibrated. Your. Puzzles!" The other monster sounded as if he had to tell sans this frequently. He thought he could hear stomping in time with the words. "You just hang around outside your station." He went on. "What are you even doing?"

"staring at this lamp" sans told his brother. "it's really cool. do you want to look?" Ryan thought he felt his heart stop. He should not have expected anything less, he realized. Why would the skeleton not rat him out immediately? What reason did he have to protect a human? And why not get a good laugh out of doing it as well? He knew he should have been more cautious.

He was about to truly make a run for the trees when the other voice shouted, "No! I don't have time for that!" Ryan relaxed for the moment. "What if a human comes here?" Papyrus went on. "I want to be ready! I will be the one. I must be the one! I will capture a human! Then, I, The Great Papyrus, will get all the things I utterly deserve. Respect, recognition; I will finally be able to join the royal guard! People will ask… to… be my… 'friend?'" There was a pause. Before he finished, "I will bathe in a shower of kisses every morning."

"hmm maybe this lamp will help you" He knew it. This was far too big a risk. His first mistake had been following the path. Of course it would be patrolled. He had no idea why the thought had not occurred to him. He should have just tried to find his way through the trees. He could have simply followed the side of the dome until he was on the other side and have avoided this whole situation. But if the maps Toriel had showed him were correct, then even if he only had to cross half the dome it would still be more than a two mile hike through dense woods, knee-high snow, and monsters chasing after him with a home field advantage. Damn it, this was supposed to be simple! Why don't you think these things through?

"Sans! You are not helping, you lazybones!" The brother's conversation went on. Ryan still did not move a muscle. "All you do is sit and boondoggle! You get lazier and lazier every day!" At this point, he could not tell if the two were playing some joke on him or if sans was actually trying to sell him out and his brother was just that stupid.

"hey, take it easy" sans countered, "i've gotten a ton of work done today. a skele-ton" Ryan could not believe he had heard that.

"Sans!"

"come on, you're smiling"

"I am and I hate it!" he sighed. "Why does someone as great as me have to do so much just to get some recognition?"

"wow, sounds like you're really working yourself… down to the bone" Ryan almost groaned.

"Ugh, I will attend to my puzzles." By the sound of it, the skeleton's brother was more fed up with the jokes than him. He could not imagine what it was like to grow up together. "As for your work, put a little more… 'Backbone' into it." Or, perhaps they were made for each other. Ryan heard laughter fading back into the trees.

"okay, you can come out now" sans shouted to him after the laugher faded away.

Ryan was halfway between walking up and grabbing the monster by the shirt and running in the other direction. He ended up doing neither. He marched up to the skeleton and stopped himself short. "someone looks angry" sans commented.

"What the hell was that?" He shouted loud enough that he thought the other monster, or indeed any within a half mile, may have heard him. At the moment, he did not care.

"that was my brother. haven't you ever seen a skeleton before?"

Ryan had yet to see that smile change on the monster's face, but somehow it seemed condescending to him now. He was not about to let the skeleton dodge the question. "You were trying to sell me out!"

He waved him off. "nah, i knew he wouldn't take the bait. i was just having a private laugh"

"At my expense?"

The skeleton shrugged. "if you wanna take it personally, that's on you. anyway, if i wanted you captured, i'd just do it. trying to trick you first would be too much effort" he winked at Ryan who was about to say something but clamped his mouth shut. There was no point; he was getting out of here and would likely never see the monster again. There was no point in antagonizing him.

Ryan just shook his head and starting walking towards the trees behind the booth. Difficult or not, he was beginning to think even getting lost in the woods would be better than staying there. "that's not the right way" sans said to him as he reached the tree line.

He barely broke his stride. "Neither is whichever way you want me to go." He said over his shoulder. He stepped over the bank of snow at the edge of the clearing. He had been wrong; it was well above his knees. Still, he had made his decision.

"you may not believe it, but there's a lot of woods down here. you're likely to get lost like that"

"I don't care."

"wouldn't be easier if I just gave you directions?" He still did not stop. "then you should probably know, most of these woods have spells on them meant to confuse and disorient trespassers. some of them may even do worse than that. if you really want to go off to your death that way, be my guest, but i think listening to my proposition is a much better option"

Finally, Ryan stopped. He turned and went back to the skeleton. "Why should I trust you?" He asked, staring down at the monster.

"because you're a human, and it's my job to capture humans. so since you're still walking around, i must be a nice guy. plus, i did just save you"

"That's a bit of a stretch." He interjected.

"so, are you going to listen to my offer, or not?" Ryan did not answer, but he did not turn to leave again either. He simply crossed his arms over his chest. "i'll give you directions out here and to the barrier; that is where you're going, right?" He stayed silent. "in exchange, you do me a small favor. you see, my brother's been kinda down lately. he's never seen a human before. and seeing you might just make his day"

"Absolutely not." He told the skeleton and turned to try his luck in the forest again.

"oh, c'mon, he's not dangerous. even if he tries to be"

"I'm not stupid." He said over his shoulder. "I know all about the stance on humans down here. Your brother practically spelled it out himself. 'All monsters who find a human are to capture them and bring them to the barrier. Dead or alive.' I think I'll take my chances on my own."

"i may have forgotten to mention this," the skeleton went on, "but there are other dangers in those woods other than a few traps. sentries like myself, for example. who knows, the next time i see you i may not be in such a good mood"

Ryan stopped once more. "So now you're threatening me?"

"i'm a skeleton of the people. i try to do what's best for everyone. but monsters will always be first and my book, and you ARE a human" He turned back to sans, smile still wide as ever. "like it or not, it's your best option" he finished.

He was right, he realized. The skeleton already knew he was a human. If he ran off, he would have the rest of the Underground searching for him by tomorrow. He was at his mercy. And if he was already knee deep, he may as well dive in head first. "Fine." He told the skeleton finally. "I'll help you out. I'll meet your brother."

"thanks a million. i'll be up ahead" sans turned and waved before walk back towards the ruins. "you ought to get going" he went on, gesturing the way his brother had gone. "he might come back. and if he does, you'll have to sit through more of my hilarious jokes" For a moment, Ryan just stood there; staring at the skeleton's back. "what's the hold up? look, there's nothing to be afraid of. it's just a dark cavern filled with skeletons and horrible monsters"

With a sigh, Ryan turned in the direction the other brother had gone. Toriel had warned him that the monsters in the ruins were not some of the weirdest out there, but after all this time, he had thought he had at least gotten used to it. He had walked a good ways before another thought dawned on him. "Why the heck was that lamp there?" He asked the air.

He followed the footsteps Papyrus had left in the snow. The trees became shorter around him as he walked. He knew that of a sign of increased altitude, but he was underground, did that work the same way? Plus, he certainly did not feel like he was climbing up at all. Then again, he still had not gotten used to actually having stamina.

Eventually, he thought he heard a conversation in the distance; he tried to get closer to listen in. It was sans and someone else, however sans had managed to get ahead of him. "So as I was saying about Undyne," the other monster was saying, it was another skeleton. That must have been Papyrus. In his attempted to approach unseen, Ryan stepped on a branch which broke with an audible crack causing the skeleton to turn look right at him. He turned to sans whom, in turn, turned to look at Ryan. sans then turned back to look at Papyrus as he turned to return to looking at Ryan. Then he again returned to turning to turn to look at his brother just as he was turning back to be turned toward Ryan. They both took turns to turn towards each other and Ryan in turn several more times. Their turning quickly accelerated until Ryan could not tell which way they were trying to turn, making him turn away. Simultaneously, they then all turned to face each other. And then the skeleton brothers turned their backs to him.

"Sans! Oh my god! Is that… a human?" Papyrus whispered loudly. The other skeleton was easily twice the height of his brother. And where sans looked more round, Papyrus almost looked like he was stretched. He wore a black covering over the bones of his body underneath and outfit that made him look even more like something out of a kid's cartoon. A white shirt with padded shoulders and yellow at the fringe, blue shorts, and orange boots and gloves. He even wore a cape. They certainly were a pair.

They both turned back towards Ryan once more. Though tempted to turn and run, he stayed put in the middle of the path. This was the deal, he supposed, though he would have liked some warning. However the two skeletons did not even seem to be looking at him, rather they were looking behind him. He looked over his shoulder; there was nothing behind him that he could see. "actually, i think that's a rock" sans told his brother.

"Oh." The taller skeleton said in response. Ryan was somewhere between confused and insulted. Had this monster really just confused him with the rock he had been hiding behind a moment ago? Though he supposed, before meeting him, many of the monsters in the ruins may not have been able to make the distinction either, especially not his friends.

"hey, what's that in front of the rock?" sans goaded.

Papyrus's eyes snapped to him then, as if he had suddenly appeared and not been standing there the while time. He even jumped back in shock. "Oh my god!" skepticism lit up his face. Lending to his cartoon appearance, the skeleton seemed able to change the shape of his eye sockets, lending him a measure of expression. He leaded down to his brother and whispered, "Is… is that a human?"

"yes"

Papyrus's face lit up with joy. The skeleton looked ready to jump in excitement. "Oh my god! Sans, I finally did it! Undyne will… I'm gonna… I'll be so…" The taller brother stammered, and finally he did jump, "Popular! Popular! Popular!" He cleared his throat and, for the first time, addressed Ryan directly taking on an air of regality. "Human!" He started dramatically, "You shall not pass this area! I, The Great Papyrus, will stop you. I will then capture you; you will be delivered to the capital, and then… then… I'm not sure what happens next… In any case, continue only if you dare! Nyeh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!" With the bout of laughter, Papyrus ran off down the path.

"that went well" sans commented once his brother was out of earshot.

Still staring after where the monster had gone, Ryan said, "Compared to some of the reactions I've gotten so far, I'm inclined to agree." He turned to the other skeleton. "Whether or not it was a good idea, I did what you asked. So how about those directions? Preferably ones where I don't run into anyone else."

"oh, come on, did you see how happy he was? you can't leave him hanging now. can't you go along with it for a little longer?" He gave the skeleton a stare he hoped was intimidating. sans waved him off again. "don't sweat it, kid. i'll keep an eye socket out for you. you'll be just fine"

The skeleton turned to leave, but Ryan stopped him with a question. "Does he know what he's doing?" he asked. "Does know why he's capturing humans?"

The squat monster stopped, but did not turn around. "for recognition. didn't you listen? the moment they told him he could join the royal guard if he caught a human, he didn't need to hear anymore"

"This is not going to end well." Ryan said more to himself, but sans commented anyway.

"that's up to you, kid" the skeleton walked behind the rock that had been mistaken for a human and seemed to vanish.

Ryan found himself alone in the woods once more. The trees were now what he would consider a normal height, no longer towering over him, and it somehow made the forest seem far less foreboding. He was not sure what to do; he should try to get away from this place and everyone in it as fast as possible, but he had little hope of that now. It would be best to just be ready for the worst and hope for the best.

As he was wondering whether or not he could climb one of the tall pines to get a better look at the area, he saw one of the trees rustle. As his eyes shot to it, he heard a yelp and watched as something fell out of the tree, making a small lump in the snow. The lump groaned as Ryan ran up to it. "Are you okay?" he asked as he got to his knees. Another groan was his only response.

Brushing off the snow, he saw that it was a bird of some sort. Its blue feathers had a sheen like ice and the plume on its head made it look like a snow flake. He knew the type, Toriel had told him about them; it was a Snowdrake.

Helping the monster to its feet, its pain seemed forgotten as it saw him for the first time. Before he could say anything the Snowdrake escaped his grip and half ran half flew deeper into the forest with another yelp. "Hey, wait!" He yelled, but the monster was gone. Did it know he was a human? Oh well, no point worrying about a problem he had no control over.

He stood up and brushed the snow off his pants; the act bringing the thought of how cold it was back to the front of his mind. He started to shiver immediately. Pulling his lighter out of his pocket, he took its flame and started to make it larger and warmer. Then he had an idea. He lowered the temperature of the flame until it was just pleasantly warm and altered it to no longer give off light. Invisible heat hovering over his hand, he made it grow and then let it sink into his clothes as if it were water. Tying it off, the spell would no longer need his concentration to maintain itself, or his energy. Toriel never had explained that part to him. If not from him, how did the spell gain the energy to sustain itself? It violated all laws he knew. Then again it was magic.

Regardless the reason, the spell worked and he felt warmer already. "If only I had gloves." He said to himself as he started after the skeleton again. The footprints in the snow led him to a wooden booth similar to the one he had seen before. Although this one looked far more shoddily put together. The footprints stopped in front of it and then became cluttered as if the skeleton had been dancing in that spot. On the front of the booth was a sign, it read,

You observe the well-crafted sentry station. Who could have built this, you ponder. I bet it was that very famous royal guardsman! (Note: not yet a very famous royal guardsman.)

Ryan chuckled to himself. "I wonder who could have built this."

Leaving the stand and the clearing behind, he continued to follow the trail left for him deeper into the woods. As he went on, the trees thinned out a good deal and the path disappeared. The canopy of needles had once again grown to be above his head. The bare trunks were scattered every dozen feet or so. If not for the monsters' trail, he would certainly have gotten lost. He looked around him warily. Anything could be hiding behind those trees.

His eye fell on a third of the sentry stations. This one looked about as well-put together as the first and had another sign on it in a different hand.

Absolutely NO MOVING! It read.

Had he fallen into a trap? He had not expected the likes in the middle of the forest, though Toriel had told him monsters built them everywhere. In the beginning they were scared of the humans ambushing them and finishing them off. After a while it apparently became a tradition. Did one of the skeletons mention something about puzzles? He could not remember.

He also could not stay here, trap or no. He took a step, bracing himself for anything. Nothing came hurling from branches, popped out of the ground, or gave way beneath him. Letting go of a held breath, he continued on.

Before making it another step, he heard a voice from inside the booth. "Did something move?" Ryan froze. A hand reached up to grab the lip of the wood and the monster behind it pulled itself off the ground. It was a dog monster. From the neck down, it was practically human aside from the tail. But its head was decidedly dog-like with its muzzle and ears on top of its head and large golden eyes. It was also covered in short white fur but for the top of its head which was black.

The monster looked exhausted, glancing back and forth through squinted, bloodshot eyes. Its clothing consisted of camo pants reaching the bottom of its digitigrade legs, and a pale pink tank top with the picture of another dog on it. Jumping over the front of the booth, the dog monster continued scanning the forest. Somehow, it had not seen him standing right in front of it.

"I'm sure I saw something moving." The monster went on; it sounded about as tired as it looked. "If something was moving, say a human!" The monster rounded on him and came to within inches of his face. Still, the dog monster seemed to be looking though him. Ryan did not move. The monster smelled like burnt dog biscuits. After an eternal moment, the monster moved away and finished, "I'll make sure they never move again."

The dog monster's back was to him now. He could get away, it was the perfect chance. But… it was a dog. There was only one option. Slowly, he crept up on the monster. Unsure whether the monster was able to hear his movements, he froze whenever it turned his way. Once he was right behind the monster as it dug through a pile of snow, he reached out and pat it on the head. The monster jumped. "What? I have been pet!" The dog began looking around even more fiercely than before, clawing at the air as it spun in circles and narrowly missing Ryan in the process. Not flinching was difficult. "Something pet me… Something that isn't moving." The monster analyzed as it calmed down. Ryan thought about speaking up, but dismissed it quickly. He did not want to find out whether the swords on its back were just for show or if it knew how to use them.

Still wary, the dog walked back to its booth as its search did not turn up anything. "I'm gonna need more dog biscuits for this." It said to itself as it got back down to the ground.

Snoring told him that the monster had quickly fallen back asleep and Ryan tip towed away from the booth. The foot prints led him to another clearing; the biggest by far. The ground curved down around the edges making it look like a shallow plateau. He could almost see over the tops of the trees here. "hey" sans's voice came from behind him as he was looking around him, making him jump. "you seem to be finding your way just fine"

Shaking off his adrenaline, he turned and told the monster as calmly as he could, "Well, it's not hard to follow your brother. I'm not much of a hunter, but snow makes for easy tracking. Speaking of which, I ran into a dog…"

"oh, yeah, that was probably one of the other sentries. their whole family signed up for the gig saying 'it was in their blood,' whatever that means. there are usually more monsters out and about, but they're probably all asleep now"

"So, there are more sentries?" That seemed to him like a detail that should not have been just glossed over, especially if he was to be going along with this.

"yeah, most of the sentry posts are on this path back to town, but don't worry. they should be on patrol at this time so you shouldn't run into any of them. provided you don't go running off"

Ryan did his best to hold back his anger. This skeleton was playing him like a fiddle and treating it as a joke besides, but if there was more than just the two skeletons in this forest dedicated to hunting him down if he were discovered, there was not much he could do but go along with it. That did not mean he had to be happy about it, though. "Did you want something? Or are you just here to watch me suffer?"

"actually, there was something i wanted to tell you, something important that you should remember: my brother has a very special attack"

"Attack?"

"yes, attack. if you see a blue attack, don't move and it won't hurt you"

"Why would he be attacking me? I thought you said your brother was harmless."

The skeleton shrugged. "i just said it was important to remember. anyway, just remember. here's an easy way to keep it in mind. imagine a stop sign. when you see a stop sign, you stop, right? stop signs are red. so imagine a blue stop sign instead. simple, right? when fighting, think about blue stop signs"

Ryan pressed his fingers to his temples. "You really aren't helping the case where I still think you are trying to kill me in some incredibly complex and diabolical way."

"if you read too much into something, that's on you" sans took a step and then seemed to slide away from him. Ryan realized how when he took a step as well and slipped on the ice beneath a thin layer of snow..

"If Toriel saw how stupid I'm being she'd tie me to the wall and never let me leave again." Ryan said as he pulled himself off the ground. He then followed sans's example and slid across the ice.

When he finally caught up to the skeleton in another clearing, he was talking with his brother. "You're so lazy!" Papyrus was saying, "You were napping all night!"

"i think they call that sleeping" sans told him.

His brother waved him off. "Excuses, excuses." He then turned his attention to Ryan as if he had known he was there the whole time. "Oh-ho, the human arrives!" He said anyway. "In order to stop you, my brother and I have created some puzzles. I think you will find this one quite shocking." The skeleton dramatically gestured at the ground in front of him. Ryan looked down. A rectangle had been dug out of the snow so it was a about an inch lower than the surrounding space. He could not make out anything other than that. "For you see, this is the invisible electricity maze! When you touch the walls of this maze, this orb will administer a hearty zap. Sound like fun?" The skeleton was holding up a small glass orb and looking at Ryan with a great amount of satisfaction and anticipation.

Ryan looked at the orb, looked at the ground again, and then back to Papyrus. "No…" he said simply.

"Yes! The amount of fun you will probably have is… actually rather small I think." He looked off into the distance as if he were about to reconsider something, but shook it off and turned back to him again. "Okay, you can go ahead now."

Ryan did nothing for a moment and then asked, "So I walk on this invisible maze, and if I make a mistake, that thing zaps me?" He pointed to the orb.

"Ah! It is good that you are confirming the directions before beginning. It is important one has complete understanding of the puzzle they are about to attempt. You must have been a very smart human where you came from. That said, you are correct."

He was not sure why he was saying this, but, "Then shouldn't I be holding the orb?"

"What? That is ridiculous! I take back everything that I just said. You have delayed your fate long, human! Now begin!"

Ryan shrugged and took a step into the rectangle. The skeleton immediately became covered in bolts of electricity and spasmed out of control. Ryan stepped off the maze and the electricity stopped, leaving the skeleton blackened. "Sans! What did you do?" Papyrus shouted at his brother.

"i think the human has to hold the orb" sans told him.

That seemed to be enough for his brother coming from him. "Oh, okay." Papyrus then walked over to Ryan. He did not walk around the maze, even though the clearing was large enough to do so with ease. Instead, he walked through the length of the maze over to Ryan. "Hold this please." He placed the orb on Ryan's head. He tried to pull it off, but for some reason it was stuck there. The skeleton then walked back through the maze, taking the same path he took to get there in the first place. The rectangle in the snow now had clearly defined footprints throughout it. "Okay, try now." Papyrus told him once he was back next to his brother. Ryan was now certain he was being played. He cannot be that stupid. The skeleton continued to stare at him expectantly, so he started to cross the maze taking the path the footprints had left, easily finishing it without difficulty. Soon, he was on the other side staring down the two brothers. The orb fell off his head into the snow. The taller skeleton's face was a mixture of shock and awe. "Incredible, you slippery snail! You solved it so easily. Too easily!" He rubbed his gloved hand together as if ideas were beginning to pop into his head. "However, the next puzzle will not be easy. It is designed by my brother, sans. You will surely be confounded. I know I am! Nyeh heh heh heh heh!" Papyrus moonwalked away.

"you look confused" sans said once he was gone.

"I am. And don't call me Shirley." He told the skeleton.

"what?"

"Never mind."

"hey, thanks for doing this. my brother seems to be having fun"

He realized he agreed with the skeleton. Papyrus did seem like enjoyment was the only thing on his mind. He still wanted to capture him, sure, but it did not seem to Ryan that it was for any degree of malice. He simply wanted to join this Royal Guard. Plus, the way he was going about it… And sans just wanted to make his brother happy. Still, this had the potential to go well beyond dangerous and he had to make sure that did not happen. It was time to take control of the situation. Ryan looked at the skeleton flatly. "You make it sound like I had a choice."

The skeleton shrugged. "everyone has a choice, your alternative just happens to be almost certain death"

An idea came to him just then. He stared out into the distance the way Papyrus had gone. "Tell me, sans, what do you know about humans and magic?"

The monster's expression did not shift, but Ryan thought he could sense a measure of strain in his voice now. "i know that the humans of old were very powerful in terms of magic. but you are not, i would know if you were"

Ryan smiled and a ring of fire surrounded the two of them. It was quite the clever idea, he could use the spells he left in his clothes much faster than pulling out his lighter every time. At least until he finally figured out how to make things on his own. He made the flames taller than the both of them. He turned to the skeleton. sans's face had gone dark, but for the moment, he did nothing. "You and I share something in common." Ryan told him. "We both assume the worst of people." He let the fires die out before continuing. The snow was hardly even melted. "I know you just want to help your brother. I did not refuse in the beginning because I have some sort of mission to destroy monsters, I mean you nor your brother, nor any monster any harm. I simply had somewhere to be and was being impatient. So let's start over and stop waiting for the other to stab them in the back."

sans's cold stare melted as the flames vanished. By the time Ryan held his hand out to the monster to shake, he took it with little hesitation and a wet fart rang through the still forest.

"Also, I stole your whoopee cushion." He finished holding up his hand. They both laughed.

When they both calmed down, they looked down the path in the trees Papyrus had gone and sans said, "i think we've let him run off on his own long enough, huh?"

"You're probably right. Hey, so, if you don't mind me asking, where is all of this going?"

The skeleton considered for a moment, as if weighing the words he wanted to say. "hopefully, somewhere good for all of us. how's that sound?"

"Vague, but good enough for now."