"8, 9, 3"

Chapter 7:

Reticent

A/N: I'd just like to say how sorry I am about the extremely long wait. My bad. School killed me until early May and I wanted to sit, relax, and do no typing or reading for a while. Again, sorry. OK and here we go for another chapter. I hope that you will enjoy this one as well. I'd like to take this time to thank all of those who have been sending in those reviews! THANX! The three dots are symbols for a bit of a mini-flashback.


A certain quaintness came with this part of the day. It was quiet and unhurried. Sure, she lived in Tokyo where everything was about doing something now so that you could get to doing something else, never had she thought to stop and do things easily. Her mind constantly wondered around and most of the time she was attempting to do activities that would keep her from disintegrating, so times like these she valued more than anything else. Right now her time was being spent liking the feel of his skin touching her own and how her breaths were bigger and more labored than his would ever be. He was a demon and gifted with great stamina, but even tonight she seemed not to care what he was doing to her as long as he was persistent about it; he was and that was how she got here in this moment in the first place.

She had begun to think that he wasn't going to live up to his deal about taking her somewhere nice. Sure it wasn't too far from civilization but it was far enough. And she was in no doubt that right now, what she was feeling, was not a totally bad thing. Clear in her mind was the picture and hope that one day they could spend days like this, countless in number, just with a blanket of reverence and peace. Days spent where nothing mattered but each other. It may have been her foolish ambitions or half-addled thoughts, but this was something she wanted to call her own. This moment would be hers to keep, though she wanted for nothing if only this fragment of time to last forever.

Convincingly she knew that the feelings she was having were both good and bad. She was blissful and sated, but also a bit woozy and deflated. Was something happening to her body to make her feel weightless and drained? If there was something wrong with her then she happened to love it. She wanted to keep it and when the feeling began to grow she could only sigh in complete pleasure. He was here with her to make sure she was safe, he was here to please her as many times as she asked, and he was here making her feel light and airy. It was a bad thing, this she knew, when he stopped and she fell into a black backdrop in her mind's eye…or was she just passing out from blood loss? Whatever the answer it did not matter because now she was not in her mind and feeling confused she was having a wonderful sensation of not caring. Finally, her mind had let go of her. However long this last she knew it would be too soon before it came back to wake her. She needed to get in all the good memories that she could ahead of the waking world grasping her again. One memory that was excellent was the particular one that got her here in the first place.


It was a possibility that the events from a few weeks ago were getting to her and he wanted to do something for her. He had not meant for her to feel too disrupted by what had been done to the wolf demon. As far as he was concerned what had been done was done and that was the end of it, still Rin had been acting off since then. She was not herself. It could have been those past events, but it seemed to be a culmination of many things bothering her; the root of these problems that had changed her behavior had yet to be told to him. He was determined to figure them out all on his own though if need be he would break down and ask her.

Things were never what they seemed and this was a time to throw those thoughts to the wind so his desire to heal her kept him occupied instead of the want to kill something. This time he was going to try something different to calm his mind. This time he was going to focus on Rin like he had done previous times to set himself aside for her. He would try it again and if she didn't give up the answer to her internal struggle, then he would directly ask her to address it. Though he rather liked making her feel the need to tell him instead of brow-beating it out of her, he just needed to find a way to get her to open up to him.

There he sat all day in each of his classes trying to devise various ways to help her and nothing wanted to come to him. However, she was sitting in front of him on a warm day, so they took solace outside in the courtyard for their lunch time and it struck him then and their. She had been talking about a topic in History that she found particularly interesting and the smell of freshly blooming cherry blossoms hit him full force. Of course he knew the perfect place to take her. Yes, a place indeed. She would enjoy it very much and they would be away from almost everything in their lives to distract them; they would be distracted by one another. With that thought he developed it into a plan to get her to go along with and the best he could gather was to not tell her at all. An outward grin came to him she asked what he was thinking to which he replied:

"Nothing, just a manner of something that gives me peace of mind is all."

Of course she cocked her head at him in confusion, but he just kept it all to himself. He was sure she would love his "gift" as it were. For a girl who had wandering thoughts to fields of flowers and beautiful landscapes he only hoped that she would not be frightened out of going because it was much like her inner escapes. However, he also knew that it might appeal too much to the inner-Rin and she might fall into herself, though he would take the chance knowing that whether she knew it or not she was going to find a temporary peace if only for a day or two. He could give her that for now and in the mean while he would still profuse to promise her the tranquility she so sought.

"I assure you Rin that you will enjoy this."

Did she believe him? Kind of. He had somehow coerced her into skipping school on this brilliant Friday to take an early weekend to a place he 'assured' her would be grand. It was not that she didn't trust him; it was that his idea of fun was lobbing people's heads of their bodies and hers was every moment she didn't recess into her own mind. So, she made up her mind to go with the flow and had even asked him where they were going but he would not disclose the answer. She was not one for surprises and she would give him the benefit of the doubt for now as they headed to who-knows-where and she just looked out of the window at the sky and watched it as they rolled by. Speaking more to herself than anyone she let her inner thoughts slip.

"Today will not end on a good note."

The next time she spoke to him was when he had told her that it would be another hour before they arrived at their destination. Great. Now, they were slowing down and pulling towards a shoulder and onto a small lightly graveled road. At the sight of tress (lots of them) she perked up and bit and sat straight up in her seat to get a better look around her. The place was so breathtaking that when they can to a turn in the road she sucked in deep and gapped in aw at what she saw before her. Simply told it was beautiful.

Cherry blossom trees ripe in the spring air lined the whole drive that led up to the gorgeous home that lay before them. She could not believe that his father had bought this place and never used it. Sure it was a few hours from downtown Tokyo but she loved it anyway. Instantly she wanted to be here and stay here, away from the world that mocked and criticized her. Sure she saw the wide space of flowers that she spied near the wooded area and she knew he would fear that she might relapse because it was a connection to her inner-self, but she pressed on with vigor. The home was phenomenal. She knew before she stepped foot inside the doors that it was sparsely decorated; it was a quaint and quiet getaway. A small TV on the wall, open windows with fluttering curtains from the evening breeze and a small dining area with a couch and fireplace in the living room, made this home nice, tidy and just what she liked when she thought of a getaway. A small and simple kitchen graced with stainless steel furnishings; the modern twist to make it livable.

Sure, she loved his large home, but this was more her style. This was something she could get used to. It was cute and gorgeous on the outside as it was on the inside. The whole thing looked to be made out of the most expensive wood and it probably was. It looked to be a modern version of a log home, but this one was sophisticated, not gaudy in any way. Instantly she was in love and she hadn't even seen the bedroom. There was a large four poster wood framed bed with dark silk linens and a small cherry table at the side of it where a dimly lit lamp sat atop it.

As he walked her around the home she could only marvel at it. After she had seen the entirety of the home she turned to him and graced him with one of her full smiles. There was a particular reason for this. The very home she was in was how she wanted her own small dream villa of Italy to feel like.

"I love it."

"You will find a bit of peace here Rin, I am sure."

And all that had led up to the moment she was in right now. He had told her she would find peace and she did just in her own way. Nothing bothered her in the blackness she was envisioning. Nothing came to her mind that would try to harm her or make her think too much. It was just…peace and quiet. She only wished that Sesshomaru was here to join her. He would also be one to enjoy a place like this. So, settling down in her lack of thoughts, she stayed until she was to be awakened. Little did she know that her solace had become his unease.


He had not meant to take so much from her and he could honestly say that it was an accident. Things did not happen on accident with him; when he meant to kill you, you died and it was out of a savage and untimely kindness that you were spared suffering. The one person he spared was now lying in her own blood on the bed as it pooled under her legs. No, he hadn't killed her but she was off in her own world from fainting due to blood loss. This blood loss was caused by him because he had been greedy. He felt like a fucking leech when he acted like this around Rin. She derived pleasure from it and he did as well, but this was the first time he had gotten wholly carried away and taken too much. No, he hadn't been part blood sucker, but the blood bond between a demon and his mate was sacred and in the process blood is exchanged, but one can get addicted to the taste of their mate and drain them. This rarely happens when demons can heal quickly, however with a human mate it is different. His father had warned him of this demon bloodlust and he had disregarded it thinking that he would never forget himself and now…

Even seeing the drops leak down her ashen thigh was erotic enough for him to want to go again at the vein. He was a sick individual, although he supposed he had to be odd to fit so well with Rin and her personality. Sure, he had drunk from her many times before, but it must have been the culmination of knowing they were alone, she was willing and he was captivated by everything she was. Now he sat with his head in his hands looking down at the floor and tensing from want to reach back over, grab her and feed like the wild animal that raged to do so inside of him. Fighting it back as best he could he awaited his father to come, for he had called in a panic not knowing what to do.

As of right now she was covered but he could hear her damn pulse beating loudly and radiating off of the vein's walls. He took the chance and looked over at her strewn across his bed, ravaged with unkempt hair and peak of the fang marks that leaked a trail of blood down the upper part of the inside of her thigh were to tempt him, but he turned quickly before he could do further damage. Her skin had paled again despite the fact that her chest was still cresting under the silk sheets and still he feared for her. Rin was an angel for putting up with his demonic habits and right now she was probably alright without him in her mind (since these things happened to her) but for him it was torture knowing that if he took a sip more she would cease to breathe fresh life into his bloodied existence. Had he not stopped when he had he would have drained her dry while not giving a care to her well-being.

Padding towards the cabin door when he heard a knock, he scented his father when he swept the door open with a defeated look. He was sure to get a lecture about this and he knew he should stop, but she let him so easily do what he wanted. This act brought both of them pleasure and who was he to deny her that? She had done so much for him. Sesshomaru knew that his father could scent what was going on and when he put it all together he growled out that he needed to see her. Of course Sesshomaru did not want his father looking in on her so, he went in first and covered her a bit more than normal. After all of the fussing over her appearance was over with he then let his father look at her. Needless to say his father was not going to help him feel better about this. He leveled his son with a glare after assessing her condition and spoke with disappointment.

"You could have killed her. In fact you nearly did."

"This I know, father."

Again the Oyabun glared and this time added a growl for substance.

"She will live…barely. Let us leave her to sleep it off and we will talk in the living quarters."

Stepping back from the bed he made way for Sesshomaru. Gently his hand went to her chest where he watched, listened and waited for it to make its next crest and with that kissed her on the forehead. Not before whispering in her ear that he would be back did he leave the recesses of the room and join his father by the unused fireplace. Taking a seat across from his father it felt similar to what they did when in his office, but this concerned a different matter altogether. This matter was not one of death but of life. He had not witnessed his father heave a large sigh in a great while, but now he was seeing it again.

"Son, she may be precious to you and I know you cannot resist after you have had a single taste and I told you that it was better you not do this at all, but you ignored my wishes and look what has come of it. Sesshomaru, she is to be part of this family soon and I wish her to make it to the induction ceremony (whenever that may be) alive and not counted amongst the dead."

To this he could only give a simple reply.

"Again, I know."

Again, another sigh escaped which surprised Sesshomaru though he did not grace it with a facial expression. The yakuza Prince could tell his father was agitated and trying to keep his anger from boiling over even though he knew he fully deserved to have his head wretched from his neck for what he had done to her on this night.

"I know I do not need to tell you to restrain yourself our story is warning enough, but son you need to take more control of your inner beast. This simple action is the difference between her life on this plane and that of the deceased."

With that said his father decided to change the subject to lighten the mood a bit. Sure, she almost died but the key was almost and he would not let it happen again. When she awoke he planned to make it up to her and he would, but now all he could do was wait for her to recover. Inutaisho began looking around at the old place he had bought a long time ago and Sesshomaru knew what was to be asked next.

"Does she like the place?"

That was when he began to take his father back, back to when they had just gotten into the car and she was thinking that they were going to spend the lovely Friday afternoon at school. They weren't and he had other plans. Of course he knew she would be adverse to it, but then she warmed up to his plan when she finally set sights on where he had taken her. She had liked it well enough, however now he was beginning to think that she would hate it for it made him almost kill her.

"It was liked and well received, though I believe she will hate its memory from this moment on."

He felt his father pat him on the back like a child and gave him a glare for his actions.

"Don't fret son, she is not all that you make her out to be."

He stood, dusted himself off out of habit, and said his well wishes before once again Sesshomaru was left with his thoughts to comfort him on Rin's condition. There was nothing that the older demon could do for the situation; he just needed to be patient. The Oyabun also seemed to know that he would call when she woke and explain things as well as tell him when he would be returning to his duties. It all depended on Rin and how she felt; they would stay if she still wanted to, but they would return home and he would get back to business if she needed time alone and away from him.

Peeking into the room he found that she was still knocked out, so he headed towards the door and stepped out onto the small stoop that was covered by a small wooden awning to keep away from the elements. He found dark clouds in the foreground and could not help but remember Rin's whispered words about how the day was not going to end well. Indeed it had not. It had started fine with her loving the quaint home, sex and then it had turned rancid when he bit into her; like a rotten taste that was left in his mouth. Certainly the taste was not of her blood but of his own self-loathing at the moment for letting his judgment and control slip.

The breeze blew faintly but on the tip of it blew a tinge of rain to his sensitive nose even through the smell of acrid smoke that filled his senses as he lit a cigarette. It was going to rain and it was going to come largely. He knew that a hurricane was just coasting by Tokyo bay a few hundred miles from the country's shores. It was not due to make landfall because thankfully it was leading past them, but they would see a bit of it and it had come to visit early, though the brunt of it was to come next week. Luckily they were not to bear the worst of it, but unluckily for him he was feeling the added affects of the bad weather along with his appalling behavior. Feeling oddly that she was about to awaken, he calmly closed the door and walked back into the bedroom.

There he found her with not an eye batted at his appearance. She was still out of it and for that he was thankful because as of right now he was still a bit sour about his actions. He would need a while to get over it and she did not need to misinterpret the hate that was locked in his eyes right now. Lifting the sheet a bit he inspected the mark he had made on her and felt a bit of pleasure. Not pleasure at the fact that he had hurt her, but the pleasure that comes from his kind laying claims to their mates. Slowly and stealthily his hand came to brush past it to make sure it was not too sensitive. She made no move of discomfort so she must have been alright even in her sleep.

He had come extremely close to having her cease breathing on him. He had also close to loosing the solitary thing that he cared for more than himself. Sure, he could never care whether or not he lived or died, but for her he strived to live so that he could make love to her again, hear her breathe, tell her his thoughts, make her feel peace if only for a moment. All of these things made him turn from uncaring about anything to caring about her more than his own life, but he lived for her and her alone. Seeing her stir a bit he sat closer to her head and placed a hand on her forehead, to which she moaned. She was a bit cold from the severe blood loss and a bit pale but other than that she was responsive.

When her eyes fluttered open she took a distant look at him until her sight adjusted and she realized who he was. Then something happened that he had not anticipated: she smiled brightly for him. She had to of known what had gone wrong and still she was alright with it? She forgave him for everything and he always had a voice whispering to him that one day he would be not be forgiven, that she would not accept what he had done and that she would leave without a care because she had given so much and he had taken all of it. He normally kept that voice at bay although in this moment the voice was screaming. Now it was being pushed back; the doubt was moving away because of a simple smile.

"It's alright."

Who knew that two words could make an overbearing, powerful demon relax visibly? He was so worried she would hate him that he had physically held his breath and that NEVER happened. She just sighed in reaction and kissed the hand she had grabbed from massaging her thigh before turning over and catching more sleep. He understood that she needed it and that she was telling him she was okay, but he still decided that he was going to berate himself internally for a while longer so that maybe next time he would not get carried away. H needed to restrain himself and the whole time he was thinking evening turned into night and lightening flashed in the sky as he closed all but two of the living room windows. The storm would be harsh but at least she would sleep through it.

As she slept he began an idea for another song. Seeing her lying before him barely clothed, smiling, grateful even though he had caused her harm, happy, forgiving and damn beautiful, gave him an idea for a new piece and it would be for her. After all, she deserved so much more than a song but this was all he could give her until she decided that she was ready. Leaving her to sleep the rest of the night he watched the lightening strike in the dim light of the living room, listened to the thunder rumble and the rain patter on the sill of the window he had left open as he wrote down his thought. Having no need for his guitar he wrote down the notes along with the words and kept writing furiously until it was complete.


The next morning had given her a headache. Light sounds of rain met her ears and she wanted to plug them up so that she could turn over again and sleep this day away as well. Sesshomaru was no where in sight, but she felt that he was somewhere near. Stepping out of the bed she felt a wave of dizziness hit her, but she pushed it away in time to make her way towards the shower. The shower seemed to blur out the sound of the rain and she disregarded it as she bathed. It felt to be so mundane a task to do when she had just experienced a demon almost draining her dry. This was something that she could do nothing about since it had already happened, it was in the past and that was where it was to stay. Rin had already forgiven him for what he had done, after all he was caught in the moment and did what his kind deemed natural and she was okay with that. Though, she knew that Sesshomaru was not about to let it slide because as a yakuza your actions were your ability and identity not your words; so no matter how many times he had told her he would never hurt her, his actions proved different and who he was would never let him live that down even when she was perfectly fine dismissing it.

Wondering quietly as to how she would get him to forget about the previous night's incident she changed into a simple bright red top and a pair of grey sweatpants. Nearly loosing her life made her feel a bit weak still even though she was up and about. Deciding that she really would like to look nice for him and show him that she was fine was one thing, feeling good was another so she dressed down and felt good being comfortable when she was not. Rin had tried to locate him in the small abode but he was no where to se seen so she just assumed that he was wondering around berating himself. Deciding on something quick, she made herself a plate of scrambled eggs and was halfway through eating them when he decided to show up.

From her view in the kitchen she watched him come through the front door. Grimacing at him staving out a cigarette she turned back to her meal. It was not that he smoked; it was when he felt guilty he tended to hit them harder than normal which upset her. All her life she had been told that those sticks would kill her, but the slow acting toxins made fast and easy work for the demon immune system to kick in. He would not die from them, this she knew, but it was hard when you were used to hearing how bad they were. It was a part of who he was although it was hard to watch him take his frustrations out on his body and start the self-loathing process he always went through when things happened to her. He felt he should be there to protect her from anything and when something happened (like this) he would freak out and feel failure. Obviously he was not using his heightened senses because he about to walk right back into their room and pass her up completely. Standing from the table to put her dish in the sink she spoke to him.

"Have a nice walk?"

With that said she didn't take notice to the quick footsteps that came up behind her and grabbed her tightly. It was a bit of a surprise that he had openly done this but regardless she smiled. Sure, the rain waged on and on outside, but in the small home they took residence in there was some peace. There were questions that needed to be answered and those would wait because right now they were both doing just fine with the silence: her with a smile and him fixing her with a fierce hug as if the life would leave her if he let go. It was a moment or two when he decided to lightly release her and for this she was grateful. He was a fierce man and he had been holding her a bit too forcefully, but she refused to voice her discomfort for she knew he had needed it.

"You are fragile and I need to be more careful with you."

With that said he stepped back from her and she turned a bit to watch him lean against the small table behind her. Shaking her head in reply to his words she turned back to wash the dishes she had sullied and noticed that he hadn't said a word after that. There he went beating himself up again. Walking up to him she glared to meet his eyes with anger. For heave's sake she was NOT some damn doll to be coddled and protected!

"Listen to me when I tell you this: I may be fucked up in the head, but I'm no different than any other person when it comes to physicality. I can stick up for myself and believe me I thank you for doing it, but sometimes I want my own say if I'm angry. I don't need you there for me all of the time. Damn it I want to have the chance to fix my own problems and IF I get hurt I don't want you blaming yourself! Jesus Sesshomaru I AM NOT A DOLL! I am a person. Sure, I'm not as strong or resilient as a demon but give me some credit. I got through last night despite almost dying and I'm telling you that I'm still here! You didn't kill me, so stop acting like you did! I'm fine, I'm O.K. and I'm here!"

Letting out a huge breath she made sure to take smaller ones so that she would be able to calm down. Wow, she had really ripped his head off. She'd never done anything to that extent before and it was kind of refreshing. Rin had no idea how he would react and she got her answer when he simply gave her a blank stare and walked back out of the house.

"Ooookay…Does he hate me now?"

He didn't come back to give her an answer until later that night when she was just about to push through the partition of sleep. She had tried to watch something to take her mind off of what had happened and his apparent bad reaction. Ok, so she was mad at the time and had just woken up which was never a good thing, but he needed to know, though she could have picked a less 'angry' way of showing her feelings. Rin was in the state between waking and slumber when she felt a shadow in front of her and heard the subtle click of the remote as he turned off the television. Nothing else happened and all that could be heard was the light pattering of rain on the sill of the lone open window she had left to sooth her worries about the recent events. It had been raining all day and it was forecasted to end soon (since she had watch a whopping 2 hours of nothing but weather and floating happy and sad suns for the weeks forecast) but still it kept up.

She was aware and at the same time not. Then, she felt the cold and slick touch of rain soaked skin upon her check and this action alone caused her to open her eyes. He had water droplets streaming from the cuticles of his hair all the way down to the tip of his chin. Her Sesshomaru seemed to be a bit distraught and calculating, like he knew what he wanted to say but had no idea how to do it, and it made her want to smile. He was a man of few words, although when he spoke he knew what to say, always. Now, he could not figure the right words which made her heart swell. She made him do things he never dreamed of doing and it was nice to have such a caring individual with her. All the while that her thoughts had been running she hadn't notice how very confused he was about the situation until he bent next to her ear and whispered those words that he was so good at yet had had little practice with.

"Forgive me."

Rin was so surprised by this that she sat up quickly, but he never came with her. Sitting on his heels with his head in her lap he was still asking for forgiveness. She had never seen anything like this from him and it was admittedly a bit weird to see a demon who prided himself on courage and toughness now before her on his knees (sort of) and she pushed past that. He may be a demon but he was also still part dog and there were things they did to show dominance and this, willingly baring their neck to another, was not one of them. Running her hand through mused and soggy hair she took no notice to the dampness of her clothes or the fact that she needed to seal the open window, for the rain had started to fall onto the wooden floors, she paid it no attention as she sat her self back in the couch and spoke softly. He could hear her oven all of the noises and this she knew; no need to speak loudly when one didn't have to.

"It's alright. We've both got things to work on, but we'll be fine you'll see. We'll be alright."

She wasn't sure if she was trying to reassure him or herself. It would have to do for now because, like everyone else, she was had no wisdom of the future and what it had in store. However, if the past night was any indication of the events to come she knew she had to be steadfast and trusting. He was powerful, hated, stubborn, easily angered and a brute, there were also qualities in him that even the wretched of beings are bestowed with such as kindness, love and now, fear. He was the epitome of a demon and yet he had these moments-special moments-when everything he was flitted away like petals on a breeze and all that was left was a child who had lost his mother, sought approval from his father always, and wanted nothing but her love. It just took him a few downward spirals of self-doubt before he realized her arms would always be open to him and her love much the same.

A solitary fear she had about the future was if both of them would be in the picture once the future came to fruition.


The very next morning they had decided to pack up early since the next couple of days was when the hurricane's outer arms would be hitting the Japanese coastline. Sure, they weren't getting the blunt of it but high winds and heavy rains coming while being out in the woods was not a wise idea. So, they settled into the long ride home with silence. At first it was awkward because she didn't know if they had resolved last night's issue or if it was just a little agreement and then back to fighting for the next day. Rin had decided to recede into her thoughts of a field full of flowers to tune out the silence and the gloom of the clouds that hung over head as they sped on the to get home. She wasn't letting herself fall completely into herself, but it was teetering on the edge. On the edge is where she had to be when she wanted to lose herself. Though being mental had many drawbacks a positive about it was that you could simply disappear (in a sense) whenever you wanted. It was dangerous because one false step could cause you to spiral into yourself, but it was a risk to be taken.

She was there for a while wondering freely in her own mind when she was brought back by a subtle touch on her hand. Rin gave a glance over at Sesshomaru to notice that he had a worried look on his face. He had though she had gone into herself again and he would be right, to some extent, which looked to be enough to bother him. Trying to give him reassurance, she grabbed his hand and squeezed gently to let him know that she was still here. To this action he gave her a slight nod and went back to looking at the road. So, she guessed that they were alright again. It was good to know they had a mutual understanding that he wasn't one to beg for forgiveness and she wasn't one to outwardly say that he was forgiven. They each had their own quirks and they understood them until moments like the past few days when lines got crossed and signals mixed. It was fine though because they learned from it and never made the same mistake twice…or so she thought. The silence was then broken when she spoke not towards him, but to the window that she was looking out of that day.

"Do you recall the first time I told you that I loved you?"

"Of course."

Looking back at him she smiled.

"I still do and that is why we are going to make it."

As she looked out the window, still her hand in his, she remembered that day and he had even told her that he had visited his father that day too...

Admittedly a sushi bar was not the most fantastic place to tell him that she loved him, but now as soon as she had spoken the words (all be they light and a bit of a whisper) she felt as if she regretted it. Here he was just starring at her as if she had just told him the days' weather report. Had she done something wrong? It had just felt so right to say so and even though it had been nearly a year since they had become a couple, those last few moments meant the most to her. Though he continued to say nothing to her she also knew that if this was the one thing that ended them, then so be it but she would not be holding her emotions in when she had done so for so long. Her relationship had been worth it and she would not hate him because of his lack of reaction because by this time she knew his attitude about emotions. Neither would she make regrets about her feelings for they were what they were, her feelings and nothing was going to change them any time soon.

Next thing she knew it had been three days since she had talked to him. For some reason he was avoiding her and it was indeed odd. Normally he was incredibly forward and if he wanted something he told her, though this time it looked to be different. Maybe they really had fallen apart because of three little words she had spoken. Making her way through the halls with her books pressed to her chest she took her normal path to calligraphy class, though this time it was alone. However, what she did not know what that Sesshomaru was having an emotional battle of his own and wanted to settle the matter by speaking with the person he respected most: his father, Inutaisho.

He sat awaiting his father to come into his office. Looking around he noticed the piles of books upon shelves and knew that each of them had a meaning to being there and a purpose to serve each Yamaguchi member. Hearing the door open he heard his father speaking to Izayoi and when he saw him he closed the door and stepped inside his office.

"I thought you were supposed to be at school, Sesshomaru."

Without turning around he spoke.

"Indeed, Father."

When the Oyabun came to his desk he quickly took his seat and gave Sesshomaru a pointed stare to get on with the matter that he needed to address.

"I have something I wish to ask your opinion on."

"Go on."

He explained the dinner date they had shared and had gotten all the way up to about where she had told him her feelings and then he stopped. It was a surprise to his father who had never seen him stutter a day in his life, but now was not like the other times. He knew that normally he blew off emotions and never shared them, but Rin made him a different person. That was what was causing him all the turmoil in these past few days because he had no idea how to share anything with her besides his thoughts; certainly not feelings he had never felt before. With a tone that reminded him of something wistful and also something he could not believe.

"…Today Rin did something unexpected, she told me she loved me."

His father did look just a bit surprised when his eyes widened and he coughed a bit. Sure, Sesshomaru knew he was a cold person, but his father must have known by now that Rin was a different circumstance. After the initial shock, however he regained his composure that Sesshomaru knew he so well possessed and addressed his son straightforward.

"I will say that it is indeed unexpected but what is it you need assistance with, Son?"

He would never admit to squirming in his chair that day, but he would say that he did feel a bit nervous though it was not in his nature. Talking to his father was not the problem; speaking of his feelings was another matter entirely.

"I do not know what to do. We have not spoken in a few days. As you know I am not an emotional person, though Rin seems to be changing that each day. So, I ask of you…what am I to do?"

His father looked a bit disappointed as he placed his hand over his forehead and sighed a bit. Sesshomaru could only imagine that he had made a horrible mistake with his actions.

"Sesshomaru, not speaking to her is the worse thing you could do to her. She already has problems; really, does she need more like worrying about whether you are going to end the relationship?"

His eyebrows drew together in confusion.

"She knows we are not breaking up! Absurd."

Again, his father sighed before addressing him directly.

"Son, think of how Rin sees things. For her she tells you her feelings and then you no longer speak to her for days, what is she supposed to think?"

The only thing that came to his mind in the next few moments of silence between them was how, one of the few times in his life, he even admitted to himself that he had fucked up. Shit. However, he would not be saying that to anyone anytime soon.

"Now that you understand her you need to understand yourself. You ask what you should do and honestly I cannot tell you. It all depends on how you feel about the girl and since I know you will not discuss it with me, I urge you to talk to her as soon as you can and quell her thoughts. Sesshomaru, you may not be an emotional person, but showing them every once and a while, to at least someone, will make you no less a revered figure. I am not weaker for loving Izayoi and you will be neither for loving young Rin."

Deciding that he had enough of the conversation he left himself out. It was not that he did not want to speak anymore it was just that what his father had urged him to do made sense. Mental problems plagued her already and this was not something that needed to kindle an already growing fire. However, before he left he looked back at his father and spoke quietly. It was odd to have such feelings, but if he were to have them about anyone then it would be alright to feel them for her.

"You ask me how I feel about her and I will tell you that she makes me a better demon even though she may have flaws, as do I. She accepts me for who I am and that is most important."

He had made his way to her home and when he got there all was quiet except for someone moving around in her bedroom. Taking his time he went up the stairs stealthily and quietly so as not to startle her to slam the door in his face, for who could blame her at this point? When he came in he found her moving things around in her room and obviously she did this when she needed to be preoccupied with keeping her thoughts at bay. She was nervous, he could tell, but something else that caught his eye was the way she was dressed. In a simple blood red pair of underwear and an equally red ribbed tank top; she was every bit as delicious as she looked and it was only a matter of time before she let him indulge in all she had to give. When she then turned around to grab something she noticed him and instantly she tried to recant what she had said those days ago.

"I didn't mean to upset you and I can understand if you don't feel the same, but I just had to tell you what I was feeling. If you want to break up I will understand because honestly I know you are not emotional and that was asking a lot of you…and I'm sorry."

Stepping up to her he reached for her arms and placed them at her sides to keep them from waving as frantically as they had been just seconds ago.

"Do you love me still Rin?"

He watched her physically gulp a bit before answering.

"Yes."

Pulling her close to him he placed his hands on either side of her face and brought her just a mere inch in front of his own.

"Then you have nothing to worry about. You know I cannot tell you the words you wish to hear, but you must know that you are very important to me and I will do my best to prove so through my actions."

It was not exactly a love proposal, but by this time she understood him so well that he watched the tears well in her eyes and could not her the kiss he placed on her lips which turned into something more that night when a growl slid past his throat as his fingers hooked around her silk panties...

There was an innate want for her to return to who she was. After what had happened in the cabin she thought that he must have consulted his father on the matter since when they had come back to his home later that night, landing on the doorstep, he was the first one there to greet him, obviously Sesshomaru must have taken no notice to how his father looked her over to make sure she was still alright. There seemed to be a growing trend between them and that trend was by no means a good thing when it consisted of not talking to one another for long periods of time. Their relationship was built on understanding and communication (even with the little communication that had come from his side of the relationship) and right now there was a breakdown between the bridges that always connected them. Was this whole unraveling a sign that the relationship was about to cease? Never would she want to be so far away from him as to give up on what they shared, though she could not deny it herself, as they stepped into his home, that something was indeed happening between them and it had yet to prove whether it was good or bad.

Rin had kept her luggage packed when they arrived in his room after a brief greeting to Izayoi who had come down for a midnight snack and found them there. Only after unpacking her sleepwear she then proceeded into the bathroom for her nightly routine before she went to bed. Moments later when she came out she found him sitting on the edge of the bed looking out the window at the night sky, where the moon was covered by milky clouds with a few stars poking out to greet the darkness that once was shadowed by the day. Her anger flared when still he said nothing to her, controlling herself she went back into the bathroom to brush her hair and that was when she heard his voice waft through the room towards her ears.

"I should be able to protect you from anything, even myself. These past few days have shown me that I am more than a danger to you than just my last name, also in my strength, my capabilities, now, my inner demon. You would do well to end things with me before what we have destroys you."

What the fuck? There was only so much she could take. It was rare that she should get this mad, least of all at the man she loved, but he had gone too far. And now the thoughts she had previously held about these past days being the demise of them were blatant fears that looked to come to fruition. She had had those fears when she first met him: his strength could kill her with the flick of a wrist, his demon could unleash itself upon her in the heat of a moment, his job could come around and kill her as well, but none of that mattered when she knew beyond any reason of a doubt that he loved her just as much as she loved him. Slamming the brush down into the sink she stomped her way back into the room and not caring if other demons in the house heard her booming voice, she decided to take a stand against him. Never would he hurt her and she damn well knew it which was something that only fueled the flames of her anger. There she stood in front of him, grabbed his face between her hands and looked into his eyes and saw not only anger at her actions, but guilt, a guilt that had no right being there.

"Did you not listen to a single damn word I told you? I'm not some fucking doll for you to take care of and protect from everything in the world. I appreciate the gesture of this new emotion of guilt, as it is new for you, since you met me I assume however, this needs to stop right here and right now! I know I cannot keep you from worrying about me, but you need to quit beating yourself up over shit you can't control! This may be some sort of shock to you but I DO NOT recall ever blaming you for who or what you are."

When he tried to pull his face away from her like some beaten puppy, she jerked it back to her line of sight and gave no inclination that she had heard his rampant growl. These new actions just proved even further that he was guilt ridden and it was something she didn't like. Since when did he feel this way and act this way? These aspects were not Sesshomaru at all and frankly she was confused as hell. He may have felt bad, but the growl he just sent out was another thing she knew about him; just because he acted in an off way did not mean he was any less deadly when pushed too far.

"Not once did I ever tell you to give up who you were for me! Neither have I told you that I do not like what you are nor what dwells inside of you! For fuck's sake Sesshomaru open your eyes and forget, just for a simple minute, that the next day I might not be here! Live right now and if not for me, for your own sanity. My god, I know what it's like living in fear your whole life and it's nothing to condone! I have had everything taken from me and look at me now, I'm a shadow of who I used to be, but don't let the same thing happen to you too."

Calming down a bit now she stepped closer to him and made full eye contact for the first time in what seemed like forever since the previous day's incident.

"Sesshomaru, when I tell you I love you it has many reasons for being so. You saved me from myself and continue to do so to this day. I rely on you, but at the same time you know I enjoy my freedom and you respect me for that. You protect me, you provide for me and you make me feel more than I ever imagined."

Blinking back the tears that threatened to fall she continued.

"Goddamn it, when I lay awake in your arms at night and talk to you in whispers…you make me forget that I've ever known the pain that wails in my heart from my past. I know you care deeply for me and I love that about you, but if you don't let the fear of my emanate death go, then you will never be able to fully appreciate the time we have together because it will always be filled with 'what if' situations. You think I never worry about you when you go off on your own? I fear for you, I do and I always will, but I also know it is your duty to protect your family, your people, even if it means eliminating others to do so or even at the cost of your own life. I never for one instant forget your duty and I accept what you are because it means I get to love you that much longer."

She was about to move when unexpectedly she felt arms wrap around her middle and pull her into his embrace, all the while he kept his forehead on her chest and she could have sworn for one second that she felt his shudder, even for a moment's time. When he spoke to her it was muffled, but she felt it radiate through her chest cavity and knew he was speaking the truth.

"Is it so wrong to want to keep you forever?"

It was an amazing thing that he did not reprimand her for how she had spoken to him, because even though she had raised her voice before, she had never lectured him and yelled at him like this. In that specific moment she decided that maybe what he did for her would comfort him as well and so she placed a kiss on his head and knew the moment her tears hit him, that he could sense her love. Conversely, it was just as shocking to know that in this moment there was a realization that she was his everything and he loved her more than anything. Her Sesshomaru would be hurting so much when she left this world and if, like the story said, that he would not be going instantly after her like demon couples, then he would suffer so harshly in the weeks between their earthen departures. He may not be the sweetest and caring person, but still he did not deserve the punishment he would receive for her and from that thought more tears poured down her cheeks.

"God no, it's not wrong Sesshomaru. No, it's not because it's the same way I feel about you."

Was it this moment that would define who they were to each other? Somehow Rin knew that it was not a bridge that would end them, but one that would bring new understanding between them to a topic that neither one wanted to think about too much, but was going to happen eventually. In a mere few days she had seen two acts of worry and open fear in him and it frankly scared the shit out of her. Never did he act this rash with his emotions. Rin knew that these singular happenings were to be cherished to their fullest extent because he was a hard demon and his emotions stayed hidden for as long as they were told to. These were just lapses in judgment and they were what he hated. Emotions needed to spill out of their overflowing bottles sooner or later and it had taken him many years to get to these small spills. It would be plenty more until the next round of inner torment came to him and she only hoped she would be around to help him once again. Her next words came as a whisper and even though it did not solve the problem or help the situation, she also wanted to speak it aloud just to curse what had deemed them unworthy to love one another.

"It isn't fair either. Those may not be endearing words, but you have made me so many promises these past years and now I am going to make you one: I will always be by your side no matter if I'm in this world or the next. I may be independent, love, but I am never too far from you and I never will be."

Her words were met by a tight squeeze to her midsection and that night, when he laid next to her, he held her tighter than anything she had ever experienced and all night she had held him close to her heart, all the while stroking a hand through his thick hair and she knew that this snippet of time would get them through anything that was coming for them. She felt it deep in her bones much like the ringing of a bell or the pangs of an earthquake just before it struck, that whatever life threw at them it would be something they would get through together and when the time finally came to part, both would have this memory, this moment, to come back to for as long as they lasted. Even the fires that were rearing to rip them apart, biding their time to be released, would stand no chance in separating them; never, for she would hold on just as fiercely as he was now.


A/N: Oh, sooooo what will happen next? Do you know? Oh something bad I bet! So, review and I will get you the next chapter as soon as I can.

P.S. I know that this chapter is shorter than the others, but I wanted to save the next tension for Chapter 9. I didn't want to add too much drama in one chapter without giving you guys a break. :-) Believe me when I tell you that the next chapter is going to be a real left-turn. HOT DOG!