A/N: Another installment for Crimson Ties is in J This chapter took me a while to finish, but I hope you liked the finish product!
So I hope you enjoy!
I don't own Kodocha or any of its related contents.
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
"Flashback/Dream"
Crimson Ties
-O-
Chapter 8: Truth
-O-
My heart was pounding in my ears as the damn gang leader dragged me down the alley way. I was still struggling, fidgeting in his grasp, but no luck!
How the hell did no one see me get kidnapped!?
This is why people in general are always being kidnapped! Because the general public isn't as observational as they should be! Dammit!
The damn Hayama still had his mouth over mine. He was making it really hard for me to breathe, damn bastard! (Excuse my language… NOT REALLY.).
Wait.
Stupid Sana! Just bite the hell out of his hand!
You stupid, stupid fool!
So I did just that. I bit the guy. And I bit him hard because he immediately yelled in pain and let me go, stepping away from me.
And if I had half a mind, I would had ran away, fast.
But of course I am an idiot, and quickly turned to give that damn Hayama a good talking too!
So when I turned around, my jaw literally dropped and eyes went wide as I saw my potential kidnapper. Imagine my shock as I saw Akimoto Hiro standing there, clutching his hand in pain.
"What the hell!?" I shouted as I pointed at him, my mouth still open.
"Geesh Sana. You didn't have to bite so hard." He said he put pressure on his hand.
DON'T TELL ME I DON'T HAVE TO BITE HARD WHEN YOU WANTED TO KIDNAP ME.
"What the hell were you thinking, you idiot!" I continued yelling, because what the hell was Hiro thinking?!
But then he looked at me with hurt green eyes as he scowled.
"You've been ignoring me, for weeks!" He came closer, and I took a step back. "Every chance I saw you, you ran! This was the only way I could get your attention."
I suddenly felt bad, guilt encompassing me. Had I known this would happen? Most definitely. I knew it was only a matter of time before Hiro called me out on my actions and found a way to confront me.
But why did he have to do it in a Hayama manner?
"Next time you wanna catch my attention, why don't you try stopping by my house instead? This is so Hayama like that I definitely thought it was the damn jerk pulling me in and disposing of me." I shrugged my shoulders and leaned against the wall of the alley, watching him careful.
His green eyes flared slightly at the mention of former lone wolf. I know Hiro hates being compared to Hayama, but that was such a Hayama move!
"Don't compare me to him. I'm nothing like him." Ouch, may have hit a nerve with that comment. "I wouldn't have had to resort to this if you had just talked to me!"
Why did Hiro care so much anyway? Was it because I was a friend? But we only just met. Did he really care that much already?
"Why are you ignoring me?" His face came THIS close to mine (as in mere inches) as he asked. I blinked, then quickly moved away from him, not liking that he was bursting my personal bubble.
This constituted as me talking to Hiro right? What if Hayama saw? He was probably spreading my secret as I spoke to this green eyed boy. I couldn't let that happen! Absolutely not!
"Sana, are you even listening to me?" I felt a hand to my cheek and it totally shocked me that Hiro would go as far as to lightly slap me. Like, what the hell?
"I need to go. I can't let Hayama see me." I muttered quickly, grabbing my bag off the floor and walking the other way. I couldn't be seen with him. That would ensure that Hayama would spill my secret.
"Seriously? That's what this is about?" I could hear Hiro saying behind me and I squeezed my eyes shut.
Yes, Hiro. This is what this is about.
I turned around and faced Hiro like the woman I was. He was staring at me with his big, green eyes that looked so delicate, so fragile. I knew because I was once like that too. And Kami, I wish I didn't have to do this, but I do.
"Why do you care, Hiro? It's not like you're my boyfriend? What business I have with Hayama doesn't concern you."
Ouch, that was really harsh Sana. Are you sure that was the right thing to say?
He looked taken aback, his eyes widening in shock. He opened his mouth to say something, but there was nothing to be said (in my opinion). Hiro and I weren't close enough friends for me to share my secret with.
Besides, he would completely judge me for my secret.
Along with the rest of the school.
How I wished I was back in Nagoya.
I'd rather deal with the train wreck I left behind there than deal with this. Because at least there, I wouldn't be running from my problems like I was now. If I was in Nagoya still, I probably would have already fixed all my issues. And things wouldn't be so hard.
But I just had to move.
And move so far.
"I know I'm not your boyfriend, but I am your friend." Kami! Stop looking at me with those big eyes of yours, dammit! "And Sana, Hayama is not the type of guy you want to get involved with. Trust me."
Stop pleading to me because you're making me want to listen to you, dammit! Akimoto Hiro you will definitely be the end of me.
"Why?" I asked, standing firm with my arms crossed.
Fine, he didn't want me to mess with Hayama, I was going to need reason, because he telling me was definitely not enough. I needed proof, something solid. I needed him to give me a reason to stay away.
"What?" He asked, almost like he didn't understand.
"Give me a reason as to why I should stay away? I know he's an ass. That much is apparent. I know Hayama can be downright evil, I witnessed it." Memories of the past few weeks racing through her mind. "But tell me, why do you want me to stay away from him?"
Hiro gulped, his eyes shifting away from mine. He looked scared, frightened almost. His eyes were crestfallen and his body slumped slightly.
Maybe I crossed a line. He definitely didn't look comfortable and it looked like he was under a lot of pressure. Since I've met him, I've been wanting to know what it is that made Hiro hate Hayama so much. But not under these circumstances. Not where I had to resort to using reverse psychology on the guy.
I sighed, realizing that this wasn't the way to go.
"Never mind. You don't have to tell me." I said, hoping that would make his pained expression go away.
But instead, he shook his head and looked up, staring straight into my eyes.
"No, you're right. I haven't given you a good enough reason. I've practically been shoving it down your throat to stay away, but I haven't given you a proper reason why." Hiro reached for the back of his neck and looked down, as if he was trying to collect his thoughts.
"Are you sure, Hiro? Because you look like you really don't want to tell me."
"Let's sit? It's kind of a long story." Hiro offered with a slight smile as he gestured for me to sit down. Did he realize we were in an alleyway? Couldn't we have gone back to one of our houses for this? Then again, if Hayama or any of his cronies saw me with Hiro, my secret would be out within seconds.
If it wasn't already.
"Alright then."
We sat down and there was nothing but silence, which made me kind of nervous. He was taking a long time to gather his thoughts and where to start the conversation, and the silence was driving me nuts. If Hiro was going to tell me, why didn't he just tell me already?
"I don't know if you know this, but Hayama wasn't always a bad guy. Something happened during our first year to change him into the person he is now. I don't know what happened to change him, but whatever it was, it must have been bad because he went from this really silent, really reserved guy to this complete asshole."
Hiro must have seen my face expression because I was literally just about to ask him if he knew what changed Hayama.
"Anyway, it was really strange. Hayama was always silent, and hardly spoke. Even Tsuyoshi was confused as hell when Hayama showed up to school one day with this cocky grin and contemptuous aura surrounding him."
Yes, yes I know this already Hiro. I've heard this spiel about a million times already.
"And that's when he basically took the school by force and meld it into the palm of his hand. All of a sudden, he was in charge, and he made the rules. Teachers were too scared by him to do anything about it. And the principal didn't want to take action because he didn't want to ruin Jinbou's reputation. We are a very well-rounded school and we don't take students who are affiliated with gangs. Imagine the damage something like this could do to our school?"
Those were all valid points that I didn't really think about. I guess this is a lot bigger than I realized.
"Then he started going around." Hiro's face fell and there was this look on his face that I couldn't quite explain. He looked so… broken.
"It was girl after girl. Tsuyoshi and I heard that he was sleeping around, sleeping with girls then leaving them behind. Tsuyoshi tried confronting him about it first, telling him what he was doing was wrong. He tried really hard to stop Hayama and his actions. But Hayama just brushed him off."
Hiro wasn't really answering anything for me. He was just repeating a bunch of information I already knew. There were so many questions that I wanted answer. Like, why did Hayama join a gang all of a sudden? What happened to him when he was younger? Why did Hiro hate Hayama? And none of these questions were being answered!
"Then, we found out Hayama was in a gang." Hiro said, which slightly caught my attention. Was this going to start the conversation about Hayama's involvement with the gang? Bitter boy over here gritted his teeth, so I only imagined he was.
"We were hanging out after school one day. When we were walking back to our houses, we heard some rustling coming from the alleyway we passed by. I looked in to take a look and out of nowhere, a couple of kids from the other high school came running out. We were all pretty shocked to see how beat up and bloodied they were."
"Then, we heard a scream and my instincts took me in." Uh oh. I could only imagine what Hiro found next.
"I ignored everyone shouting at me and telling me to wait. What I stumbled into, I wish I didn't." I could see Hiro clenching his fists and his eyes burning. What did Hiro see?
"What did you see?" I asked, kind of being inpatient.
"Hayama was choking out this guy. He had him pinned against the wall and I swore I never heard him that angry or having such a crazy look in his eyes. He had a gun to the head of the guy he had pinned and I was just honestly so shocked by the sight."
I gulped and closed my eyes.
This is what Hayama was all about. Hurting people to get your way. It made me sick to my stomach. Maybe Fuka was right. Maybe, I was playing too close with fire and needed to put it out before I got seriously burned.
"I was so shocked that I didn't say anything. He didn't even notice I was there." Hiro paused for a moment and I was itching to find out more. "It wasn't until Tsuyoshi came running behind me that Hayama noticed us."
"Tsuyoshi yelled at Hayama, asking him what he was doing. Hayama turned around and for a small moment, seemed shocked that we were all there. But, he then regained his composure and said it was none of our business. I told Tsuyoshi that we should go, that we shouldn't hang around. But, the idiot kept pressing for answers. He kept demanding for Hayama to tell him what the hell he was doing. I tried to get him to shut up, but it was no use."
Hiro gripped the material of his uniform and it made me anxious.
"Finally, Hayama snapped and told Tsuyoshi to fuck off. He grabbed Tsuyoshi by the front of his shirt and pinned him against the wall. I don't remember all that happened or the words that Hayama said, but I do remember him telling Tsuyoshi that he was in a gang now and didn't have time to be playing games with us. That he had other pressing matters to attend too."
Well that was sort of anti-climactic if you asked me.
"So… that's why you hate Hayama so much?" That hardly seemed like a reason to hate someone so much. The way Hiro looks at Hayama Akito would make you think that Haya-jerk killed his dog or something. Not some story about how the idiot threw Tsuyoshi against the wall.
But, that's when I noticed the sudden change in Hiro. He suddenly grew very… angry. And his eyes were blazing with intense hatred. And behind those resentful eyes, I could see how broken he truly was. Whatever Hayama did to Hiro, it wasn't the story he told me.
It was something else.
"The reason I hate Hayama so much is because he took something very special away from me."
I don't think I've ever heard Akimoto Hiro talk in such a dangerous tone. His voice sounded broken and fragile. And he looked so defeated. What the hell did Hayama do to him?
"During my first year, I was dating this girl. Her name was Mika."
I froze immediately.
So Akimoto Hiro did have a girlfriend once upon a time, huh? Even if I wasn't interested in dating at the moment, I would be stupid to say that he wasn't attractive. Akimoto Hiro was surely an attractive guy. Anyone can see that.
"She and I had been dating since half way through middle school. She was the first girl I loved. She was very special to me. I never really cared for someone like I did with Mika." I could hear the tone of nostalgia and reminisce in Hiro's voice. His usual bright green eyes seemed hallow and dull.
"For a while, I really thought that she was the one, the love of my life. We did everything together. And we were really good together too. She was so smart and so kind. She wasn't too good at sports, but her sweet personality made up for it." He chuckled bitterly.
Why was Hiro setting up this story to make it seem like Hayama killed his girlfriend?
I mentally slapped myself. That was a stupid assumption.
"We we're going strong. And I really thought that maybe Mika was the one." He laughed again. "I know what you're thinking. How could I think she's the one so early in my life? Trust me, I thought that too."
Well, I was kind of thinking that, if we're being honest.
It makes me sad, knowing that Hiro truly had someone he loved like that and it ended in heart break. What Hayama did to take it away from him? I don't know yet, but I can feel for Hiro. I know what it feels like to love someone, for it to only end so tragically. I know it's naïve of me to say that I really hoped no one felt that feeling.
But for Hiro's sake, I really wish he hadn't.
"But man, Sana. I really thought that Mika was it."
"So what happened?" I asked. And I almost wish I didn't because Hiro looked absolutely dejected and he looked like he might cry.
"I guess I was so in love with her, I was too blind to see it."
See what?
I arched a brow and wondered what the heck he was talking about? Too blind to see what Hiro?
"I was too blind to see that she was cheating on me with that damn bastard." I could hear him grit his teeth and he was clenching his fist so hard that I thought he might draw blood.
But I now understood the rage and the resentment for the gang leader. And I could feel my heart hurting for him, especially because this situation was seemingly fairing very close to home.
"Mika was never that type of girl. She had always been a friend of mine growing up. We weren't close until middle school, but the second year, we grew very close and ended up dating. She was so loyal and I just couldn't believe what had happened. Especially because she resented Hayama so much."
So what happened?
"He was always hitting on her, always trying to sleep with her. And she was always very adamant about denying his request. She constantly went off on him, but Hayama kept coming back to her. Most of the time, I would just tell him to back off and take Mika away from his side. There was only once that I actually got into a shouting match with him."
"How'd that go?" I asked, which was a very stupid question. Obviously it didn't go well because, well, Hiro was now single.
He gave me a very bitter smile.
"Well I told him to back the fuck off." My eyes went wide as he said that. For as long as I known Akimoto Hiro, he was always against confronting Hayama. The brown haired boy in front of me always avoided the jerk.
"How'd you find out that Mika was cheating on you?"
He glared at the floor and clenched his fist.
Hiro looked broken, inside and out. It reminded me a lot of Naozumi.
And it hurt.
I could feel my heart aching for him, for Naozumi. I bit my lip, trying to shake away the memories of the past. I tried not to think about it because in the end, I always end up hating myself.
Because a boy as sweet and loving as Kamura Naozumi didn't deserve to be hurt the way I hurt him.
"It happened the day after I confronted him." He started. Happy for his intervention, it took my mind off of my somber thoughts. "I stayed after school for cleaning duties. Naturally, all the students were gone save for some athletes, some kids, and some teachers. I was walking towards my locker to change out of my shoes. The freshmen lockers use to be on the other side by the locker rooms."
She didn't' like where this was going.
"I heard some shuffling noises inside and I figured it was just because the athletes were in there." Hiro closed his eyes and turned away from me. "But then I heard a girl yell 'ow!' So naturally, I went to go check it out."
Shaking his head, Hiro let out a bitter laugh.
"I really wish I hadn't."
I closed my eyes and felt the insides of my stomach curl together.
Why?
Why did these situations have to be so closely related? Why did it have to be that when I saw Hiro, he turned into Naozumi? Was God punishing me for my mistakes?
"I walked in and there they were. Hayama and Mika, in the middle of… whatever it was they were doing." His voice began to break and he hid himself away under his bangs. "I couldn't muster a single word. I was so in shock that I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that Mika was cheating on me with Hayama. I just didn't understand. She loathed him. She always talked about how much of an ass he was and that she really wanted to see him gone."
"I guess that was just an act to deceive me."
I was angry.
Angry at this Mika girl.
Angry at Hayama.
At myself.
How could Mika hurt someone like Hiro? Especially with the biggest douche bag out there? How could she lie to him and hurt him like that? And poor Hiro. To catch them in the act? How much damage could the heart take?
But who was I to judge?
I was no better than Mika.
"It wasn't till I said What the fuck that they stopped what they were doing and looked at me. Hayama looked at me with a smirk as he pulled away from her and Mika looked horrified. She quickly got dressed and had the nerve to say it's not what you think!"
I rolled my eyes. Stupid girl.
"I couldn't even stand to look at her. The entire time, I was just glaring at the bastard because he kept taunting me with that stupid smirk of his. Like he had won something! Which, I don't understand! It was never a damn contest to begin with! He was just going after someone he couldn't get. And then after he got her, he dropped her."
The more I hear about Hayama, the more I grow to detest him. What the fuck was his problem? Why did he have to go and do something like that? What pleasure does he get from hurting someone? It made no sense to me!
"So I walked out. I walked out of the room with nothing to say. Mika chased me down and tried to explain the situation, but I didn't want to hear any of it. Because it was all a damn excuse. Nothing would ever justify why she did what she did. Just like nothing she did would ever make me forgive her."
Just like Naozumi would never forgive me.
"I told her I was done and that I wanted nothing more to do with. That she was nothing more than a liar and I… hated her."
"I love you so much. How could you do something like this? How Sana?"
Memories flooded into my mind. Memories I didn't want.
"I want to hate you. I want to hate you so much. But you know what the worst part is? I can't. I can't because I love you."
Stop.
Stop coming back.
I left for a reason!
"The next few days, she still tried talking to me, but I just ignored her. I ignored her and told her to leave me the hell alone. Eventually… she did. Eventually, she just stopped. And I couldn't bear to look at her. Because it hurt. It hurt so much."
I can't do it anymore.
Everything I locked away and stopped wanting to remember were just flooding back. Listening to this story, to what Hiro had to say was making me remember. And I can't do it. I can't remember. I needed to get away from him.
Now.
"Then, one day, Mika just disappeared." All my thoughts were put on hold as soon as those words left his mouth.
She… disappeared?
"What?" I asked, confused by his statement. How does she just disappear?
"I noticed she was gone for a few days, but then she just stopped coming altogether. I didn't know why, but it was concerning for me." Well yeah. You don't just stop caring about someone you love in a matter of a week. "I still loved her not matter how many times I tried denying it. I still cared about her. Even if I didn't express it, I wanted to make sure she was okay."
"I asked some of her closest friends, but no one seemed to know anything. So I made the decision to go to her house. Stupid, I know. Why would I go to the house of the girl who tore me apart? I just wanted to make sure she was okay."
"So what did you find out?" I asked him, itching to find out the end of this story.
If I thought I saw Hiro upset before, I was only kidding myself. Words couldn't describe what he looked like he was feeling. But, there was this melancholic air that surrounded him. Somber and dejected wouldn't even start to describe what emotions he was probably feeling because I hadn't a clue what it was.
"Well, she was pulled out of school."
Why?
"Because she was pregnant."
My mouth dropped as shock overcame me.
She was… pregnant?
WHAT THE FUCK.
"Are you shitting me?!"
No wonder Hiro hated he guy! Hayama got the love of his life pregnant! Assuming, it was Hayama's.
"Was it Hayama's?" He shrugged his shoulders.
"At first I thought it was. But, in the next few days, I learned that she was sleeping around a lot. Sleeping around with a lot of guys."
How could she do something like that to Hiro? How could she hurt him so much? I mean, I hurt Naozumi, but not in the way Mika hurt Hiro. That was just awful. And for Hayama to include himself in the mix by sleeping with Hiro's girlfriend just because she was unattainable was just plain awful!
"I did confront him."
"Hayama?" I asked.
He nodded. "Yeah, I did. It was actually from him that I learned she was sleeping with a lot of guys. I was so mad. I went to him in the middle of the passing period and punched him."
WHOA.
Did I just hear that Hiro ACTUALLY punched Hayama?
What I would have paid to see that!
"You hit him?"
He nodded.
"I hit him the next day after finding out. And then he kicked my ass." He laughed and I snarled. Who the hell did Hayama think he was? He can't just do whatever the hell he wanted!
"When I was on the floor, he scoffed at me and told me that I was just a fool in love and that Mika was cheating on me the entire time. That the only reason she was with me was because I made her feel safe and that I showed her affection no one else did."
As cruel as it was, it made sense. She just got some on the side somewhere else.
"So she left. I don't know what ever happened to her. I didn't keep in contact to find out. How could I? The first girl I ever loved ended up cheating on me and getting pregnant. I didn't want to see the aftermath of that."
I nodded and we sat in silence.
Poor Hiro.
I know I teased him a lot and sort of made fun of him for his behavior.
But, I really felt for him. He was a kind boy. He was always sweet and charming underneath all his hurt. Hiro didn't deserve to be hurt the way he was. Thinking about all that, I would feel like the world was crumbling under my feet if something like that happened to me.
That is probably how he felt.
It probably was really hard for him, to come out and talk to me about all this. I give him a lot of credit for what he did. I couldn't imagine sitting here and telling him my secret. Especially after the story he told me.
What would he think of me then?
I normally don't care what people think of me, but, Akimoto Hiro made me care. I don't know why, but he did.
"I know this probably doesn't help and you've probably heard it a million times, but I'm sorry." I said as I looked at him. He looked up to me and half smiled.
"I appreciate it."
We kind of just stared at each other and I felt the back of my neck burning up. I reached for my neck and grabbed onto it, rubbing it slightly.
"She was stupid for doing what she did to you. You're a good guy, ya know? So I hope that with everything that happened, you didn't lose confidence in yourself and the type of guy you are. Because she wasn't good enough for the type of guy you are. You were too good for her."
He looked surprised. I don't think he expected me to just come out and say something encouraging. But, for someone as sensitive as him, I think he really needed the push.
His half smile turned into a full smile.
"So you are actually nice, huh?"
I glared at him while punching him in the arm.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean, you jerk?!" Way to ruin the moment!
Laughing and wincing from the pain of my punch, he put his arms up in defense.
"Easy there! I was just teasing!" Hiro laughed and even if I was kind of insulted by his comment, I couldn't help but laugh also.
"Sure you were." Shaking my head, I decided to stand up. I was sitting for too long in this cold alleyway. I stretched out my entire body, shaking off the soreness from my muscles.
"I was. Besides, I like your feisty side. It's actually quite adorable."
I could feel my cheeks growing red as they burned from his compliment. Damn it all, Hiro! Why do you have to go and say stuff like that?
"Don't just say stuff like that, you dummy!" I turned away, obviously embarrassed.
Honestly, this guy had no filter.
Hiro smiled at me sheepishly as he stood up too. I looked down at my phone and realized it was probably time for me to head home. I don't know how long he and I were sitting there, but I had to get home. With mama knowing all the information about Hayama, she may think he kidnapped me.
"Well, I should get going." I said. He nodded, realizing the time.
"Thanks for listening, Sana." He said.
I smiled. "Thanks for sharing. I'm sure it wasn't easy."
Shrugging his shoulders, he said "It gets easier each time. And it wasn't hard with you. It was quite easy coming clean to you."
"Well, I am easy to talk too." I tried to redirect another compliment and he just shook his head.
"See you tomorrow?"
I nodded. "See ya tomorrow."
And we went our separate ways.
As we walked further apart from each other, I couldn't help myself from turning around. I watched as his retreated silhouette grew smaller and smaller. I learned a lot about him, and I saw him a new light. I didn't want to feel pity for him, because who wants to be pitied?
But I do admire him for staying strong because most people would die, figuratively of course, if something like that happened to them.
I'm sure Akimoto and I could become very close friends in the future. But, the way he acted, it was as if he wanted more.
Was I reading too much into it? Maybe, but I wasn't ready for a relationship. I just got out of one that failed miserably. I just couldn't stand the idea of hurting someone like I did with Naozumi.
I know, learn from your mistakes.
But what they don't tell you is how hard that is. How you are so scared of making the same mistake, you unconsciously do it anyway.
I shook my head as I saw the familiar name of my street coming up. It was simple really.
Don't get into a relationship with Akimoto Hiro.
And everything would be fine.
But Hiro was the least of my worries.
I had other, bigger problems to worry about.
A/N: So the reason why Hiro hates Hayama has been revealed. Did any of you see that coming? Hopefully, this didn't seem farfetched. Unfortunately, this incident is something that happened to a friend of mine in high school. It really sucked because this friend of mine really like the person he was dating. But anyway, I know a lot of you guessed it to be either Hayama or Hiro that "kidnapped" Sana, so high five to those of you who guessed Hiro! But, now were getting the ball moving. Bits and pieces of Sana's secret is be revealed and we're getting close to her reveal.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Reviews are always welcomed. You guys have been great with the amount of reviews I've been receiving with this story. Even as AU and as OOC as it is with the characters, mostly everyone has welcomed it with open arms and I thank you for that. Because trust me, it's not easy writing Hayama as this douche bag and having him shit on Sana. Hayama has always been my favorite character so it's hard for me to make his character so unlikable.
So until next time!
-Dark Waffle
