A Blog as Old as Time

Happy

Wednesday, October 31st, 1:13pm

If I wait 'til it feels right
I'll be waiting my whole life
― Vance Joy – Like Gold

It's been a while since I've last posted an update here. If I'm completely honest I wasn't sure if I'd ever come back. I have missed this blog, but it feels weird that people I know are reading it now. Maud Lily and Loreley have both said they wouldn't read it if I didn't want them to, but maybe I should give being more open about my feelings a shot for now. Though it feels good to know they won't take it personally if I ask them not to read this blog anymore or switch to a new blog they don't know about.

So much has happened since my last blog post that I don't even know where to begin. I solved my issues with Loreley. I guess talking about it and being honest really does help sometimes. Maybe I should have talked to her sooner, but maybe I also wasn't ready. But it doesn't matter now. It worked out in the end and I wouldn't change a thing.

It took Loreley to make me realise that I didn't even know what a relationship is supposed to feel like. I thought dating her would mean giving up the trust and friendship we had for something like what I had with Heathcliff, but I was so wrong. A relationship shouldn't feel like a competition. It shouldn't feel like you're constantly trying to make it up to someone. It shouldn't make you feel bad about everything you do and are. But dating Loreley didn't destroy our friendship, it only grew.

I think the biggest flaw of dating another woman is all the hair. I have always loved Loreley's curls, but with my long hair and hers it's impossible to wake up in the morning without having your face full of hair, or even worse, the other lying on your own hair. But to be honest, I'd sleep in a bed full of her hair if that meant being close to her.

For the longest time I wasn't even sure whether I was unhappy or not, I had just forgotten what happiness was. I think for the first time I look back to that dark time of my life without bitterness, because for the first time it doesn't make me think about how much better I felt before. Now I just think about how much better I feel now. I can say that I am happy again with all sincerity. Loreley makes me happy.

I think I was right about being both the beauty and the beast. I really had to learn to love myself again, and no one could do that for me. But Loreley has helped me a bit and that's why I love her.

Three good things that happened today:
- Waking up next to Loreley this morning (despite all the hair)
- Meeting up for coffee with Lancelot (and that I wasn't right about losing him as a friend when I started dating Loreley)
- Finally meeting Mathilda's girlfriend for the first time and finding out how lovely she is

Sincerely,
Belle


"Yang, Revenge of the Sith is not a horror movie." Ruby crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You know the rules, everyone gets to pick one scary Halloween movie. How is this one scary?"

"It's scary because it's bad." Yang sat on her bed, hugging the bowl of chips like it was her most precious belonging. "Fear is subjective."

"What did Blake pick?" Weiss asked.

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." Blake sat down next to Yang and stole a chip out of the bowl.

"I really expected you to hate that movie," Yang said, running her hand up and down her spine.

"It's trash, but it's Jane Austen trash with zombies." She moved closer and cuddled up to Yang, letting her wrap her arm around her shoulders. Something about the way Yang smelled made her want to bury her face in her sweater forever. "I'm not even a huge fan of Jane Austen."

"Wasn't that the one where she wants to marry that old dude but he already had a wife?" Yang put the chips on the bedside table and then leaned closer, placing soft kisses on her forehead and the tip of her nose.

"No, that was Jane Eyre. Different book, different author." Her hand snuck beneath Yang's sweater to tickle her sides. Yang laughed, but instead of flinching away she threw herself on top of Blake. They wrestled for a few seconds before Yang managed to pin her arms down above her head long enough to kiss her.

"You guys are gross," Weiss said. "Come, Ruby. We'll go ask Pyrrha if we can use her microwave to make popcorn. If you two aren't fully dressed when we come back I will never talk to you again."

Yang and Blake both started to laugh, but Blake felt her cheeks grow hot. Yang probably noticed too because she laughed harder and kissed them. "How about we get you Tinder?" Yang asked. "You're the only single lady in our group now. We have to combine forces to get you a pretty girlfriend."

"Don't you dare," Weiss said, opening the door. "Ruby, come before they're getting naked."

"Is she jealous or just not used to anyone having fun?" Yang asked when they closed the door behind them. She let herself drop on the bed next to Blake. "She acts like she's walking in on us having kinky sex every other day."

"Are we really that bad?" Blake sat up, reaching for her glass of wine.

"Nah, don't worry."

Blake took a sip of wine and stroked some strands of hair out of Yang's face. "How was family breakfast this morning?"

"You were right about everything." Yang closed her eyes. Blake softly stroked her cheek. "Mum was actually… almost supportive. She said if I wanted to change my major then I should try it out and that she would keep paying for it. Qrow said it was a stupid idea to stop now that I'm so close to graduating, but ever since even considering not to finish this degree I've felt so relieved." She sighed and sat up, looking at her fingernails. She had painted them red again. Blake liked the colour on her. "I mean maybe I'm just lazy and giving up too early."

"I don't think you are. You're not giving up after three weeks of university, you've pushed yourself through this programme for two years now."

Yang looked at her, biting her lip. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Blake put her wine glass on the bedside table again and then moved closer until she could wrap her arms around Yang from behind. "What's the point in doing this degree just to prove to others that you can?"

"What would I do without you, Blakey?" Yang sighed and Blake felt her relax in her arms. "I also called dad. He said I should spend the semester visiting all kinds of lectures to see what interests me. I thought about engineering. I've always been good at math."

"Sounds good." Blake kissed her cheek. "Mum asked if you want to visit us for New Year's Eve."

"Of course she did, your mum loves me." Yang smirked. "Of course I'll come."

"I'm so sorry if my dad acts like you're a douchebag trying to steal his daughter."

"He loved me last time I visited you. I don't think he's gonna be angry at me for too long." She reached behind and ran her hand through Blake's hair and over her scalp. She loved it when Yang did that. It was the only thing that really made her calm down after a nightmare. "I'll be fun. Trust me, by the time I leave your parents are gonna beg you to marry me."

"I can already see you getting drunk with my dad and making bad jokes all night long."

"See? I really fit into your family already." She turned around, gently pushing her down onto the bed so she could rest her head on Blake's chest. Blake stroked some of her hair out of her face and wrapped her arms around her again. "It'll be fine. Adam has set the bar pretty low, your parents are gonna love me. And even if they're embarrassing, you've met my dad. We'll make it through it together. Even if your dad makes me sleep in the guest room and I have to sneak into your bed at night."

"Even he has to admit that would be stupid, last year we shared a bed too."

"See? They'll be glad they know I'm not a shitty edgelord who wants to steal their daughter." Yang reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers. "I mean I kinda want to steal you, but not like that."

Blake smiled and ran her hand through Yang's hair. Before she could say something the door to their room opened again. "I hope you're dressed," Weiss said. She was carrying a bowl of popcorn in her hands. "We decided we want to watch Warm Bodies now."

"You realise that one's really, really bad?" Yang said, not moving away an inch from Blake.

"You realise I don't care about your opinion," Weiss said. "Ruby said it's not that scary and very romantic."

"We need to ease her in." Ruby sat down on her bed. "She has never watched a horror movie after all."

"Just start the movie or we'll end the night without having watched a single one." Blake sighed and pulled Yang closer. Something about the situation made her want to smile and she buried her face in Yang's hair so no one would see. She was at university, spending Halloween in the arms of her girlfriend, the greatest person she had ever met, watching trashy horror movies with her best friends. It was warm and casual and wonderful.

For the first time since forever she believed like she actually belonged here.