Now that I've been seeing him more often, I feel more desperate than ever. It feels like I'm missing a part of me that I never knew I had. I don't know what to feel anymore. It used to be so much easier. I wish I could just go back to the day I met Finn, and forget him. Get as far away from him as I could. I never had to help him and BB8. I should have left them and let my life continue its pattern. I wouldn't feel the conflict I do now.
I was taught that killing is wrong and shouldn't be done. Kindness is the way. But that doesn't seem so easy now. I wish I could just kill everyone everything. Including myself. I don't understand the joys of living. If only Han was here to help me. If only he could use the force. And now Luke's gone. I don't have anyone I can truly trust. Chewy, sure, but he's, well, he's no Han.
"Cheer up kid." I look around startled.
"Han?" No reply. It must've been my imagination.
"It's good to see you haven't forgotten me." It's my imagination. "Ah shucks. You're ignoring me. Am I too dead for your liking?"
"Han Solo?"
"The one and only. Why do you need me so bad?"
"Your son. I've taken a liking to him. I keep talking to him Han. I can't make it stop! I don't want to? I feel like I'm imagining things."
"You're imagining things things?"
"Am I?"
"Then why are you following me?"
"Han? I don't understand?"
"Nobody knows where he is."
"Han? Are you okay?"
"You sound just like her Rey. How is she? My Leia?"
"She's doing fine. Better than before. You can tell she misses you a lot."
"I wish I could visit her."
"Then go visit her, I don't understand the problem."
"I can only visit someone I have trained at all. I never trained her."
"I see. I can give her a message for you, if you'd like?"
"Tell her, she looks strong enough to pull the ears off a gungar. And that she's managed to keep me around a bit longer. The scruffy looking princess."
A/N: I am working on more. Updates later into the night usually.
