Title: 3 Years
Summary: 3 years. That was always his excuse. 3 years. That's how long its been since she last saw him. 3 years. That's how long ago it was since they made the mistake that changed their lives. 3 years, is how long it took for them to fall in love. Joshaya Slight AU.
Chapter Title: Real Men Cry
Genre: Romance/Family
Rating: T
Point of View: 3rd Person
Disclaimer: I do not own GMW.
A/N: Here is another chapter of 3 Years! I hope you all enjoy this and understand the inner debate with some of the characters within this chapter! So without further ado, here is 3 Years!
"What the hell do you mean if you're pregnant?" Josh asked.
Maya, who was now scolding herself for blurting it out at him like that answered, "Well I might be pregnant! I really don't know!"
Josh let out an exasperated breath and asked, "Well didn't you take a test?"
Maya readjusted Aria, whom of which was on her hip and hissed, "Look, can we talk about this after Aria's asleep. Just please calm down. This is the first time we've talked in weeks and we started screaming at each other. So this conversation is going to wait."
With that said Maya stormed out the kitchen with a whip of her hair, knowing that she was back in charge.
Maya had just put Aria to bed when Josh called out her name. Maya rolled her eyes and sighed knowing that he wanted to talk. She left the door ajar as she left Aria's room and traveled to the living room. "My guess is that you want to talk," Maya inferred as she sat down on the couch.
"Your damn right I do," Josh said as he paced the floors. "What do you mean you're not sure if you pregnant?"
"I mean I'm not sure," Maya explained. "I peed on the sticks and yes as in plural and some came out positive and some came out negative. So I don't know."
Josh clapped his hands together. "Okay, so you don't know if you're pregnant. Alright. This is what we do: we go to the doctor and see if you are."
Maya nodded and played with her hair as she felt him sit down next to her. "Just now that I'll be ecstatic if you are. That it's not a bad thing, but that we just have to work out our own problems."
He twiddled his thumbs and looked over at Maya's profile. He really missed being able to wake up next to her. "If you're up for it, you should come back into the bedroom. I really miss you in there."
Maya looked over at Josh and smiled softly. "Thanks. I was tired of sleeping in Aria's room anyways." He draped his arm around her shoulders and she laid her head down on his shoulder. "What about us? Where do we stand?" She asked.
"We can talk about that later. Right now I think we should just sit here and be comfortable."
Maya nodded and went deep inside the depths of her mind. "Did we just make up?" She asked.
"I think we did," Josh mumbled into her hair. "I really do."
"Ms. Hart I regret to inform you that you aren't pregnant, but please if you are looking for ways to get pregnant please don't be afraid to ask."
Maya nodded timidly and left the office in a haste. She came during her lunch break and went to a free clinic and they tested to see if she was pregnant. Unfortunately she wasn't and a million things were running through her mind all at once.
As she walked back into the bakery she saw Josh standing at the counter. "Hey," she greeted as she walked towards him. "What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't come today."
Josh smiled and hugged her. "Shawn actually told me I could leave early today so I decided to come down and see if I made it on time for the appointment. I don't think I did seeing as your boss was complaining that you were gone for too long."
He looked at her expectantly and Maya looked at him. She stared into his eyes and asked softly, "Is it bad that I'm glad I'm not pregnant?"
"Are you sure? Cause I can get Shawn to let me off for the next hour for your sonogram," Josh coaxed.
"It's fine babe," Maya reasoned. "It's just a sonogram. You can come to the next one."
Josh ran his fingers through his hair as he followed Maya out the door. "But we find out the sex today Maya! You know I wanted to be there for it."
Maya waddled around to look at Josh. "Come on. I'll just find out and then I'll tell you when I see you."
"Maya!" Josh whined.
"Jeez babe. I didn't realize we had another kid. Now I will see you later." She bid him a goodbye as she kissed him lightly on the lips.
Maya walked into her and Josh's apartment, later that day and watched him walk in with Aria by his side. "So, what are we having?" He asked eagerly.
"Hello to you too. Also, we aren't having anything." Josh looked at her confused. "I am having a baby, but we are getting a beautiful baby-"
Josh woke up in a cold sweat. His hands were clammy. He looked over at Maya who was shifting in her sleep. She felt Josh move around and woke up slowly. "Josh," she mumbled. She rubbed her eyes as her fuzzy vision came into a some what focus for her. She looked at Josh's face and grew concerned. "You're crying," she whispered.
Maya rubbed little circles in his back for a moment until he spoke, where she set her hands in her lap.
Josh looked at her with tears in his eyes and asked, "Is its bad that I really wanted that baby?"
Maya shook her head as she started welling up with tears as well. "Nope. Not at all." She wrapped Josh in her arms and held him close. She sniffled right before she spoke and spoke softly, "Did you know that its okay to cry? You taught me that. Its good to let it all go, and not just in private. With someone you know you trust. Someone you know will comfort you and support you and won't judge you. And did you know that only real men cry. So I dub you Joshua Gabriel Matthews as a real man."
Josh laughed into her shoulder and raised his head up. "I," he hesitated for a moment. "I had a dream that you were pregnant and I was about to find out the sex of our child because you knew already and then I woke up. Just like all good dreams you wake up at the best part."
"You really wanted me to be pregnant didn't you?" Maya asked.
Josh shook his head. "Yeah. I know that it sounds really selfish, but I really wanted to be there. For the pregnancy, since I wasn't there for your first one. Then I wanted to be there for this kid since birth Maya. That's something I didn't get to do for Aria and it kills me everyday."
This hit Maya like a ton of bricks. She never realized how much it hurt Josh to not be there during those three years. She only thought about how hurt she was, and that was selfish. She was being selfish. "I'm sorry," Maya apologized. "You know I never once thought about how not letting you know about those three years hurt you? I only thought about how it hurt me and that was so selfish me. For that I'm sorry."
"Maya don't-"
"No!" Maya interjected. She turned so she was facing him in bed. "You even tried to reach me, and sure I don't no until now but even then I still only thought about how it hurt me! I never even thought about you or Aria! Why do you think I was so glad that I wasn't pregnant? I'm just too much of a damn selfish person. So, I can't attempt to bring another life into this world when I can't put them first. Its not fair to them or anyone for that matter!"
"Maya don't say that!" Josh whisper yelled. "You are not a selfish person. Now you know I hate to bring up what happened in your old place, but you put your own life, your own security to the side for your child! So that you can provide a better life for your child! Maya that sure as hell doesn't sound selfish to me. Now I would love to have another kid with you. One day. But if you're having doubts like this maybe now isn't the right time. Sure, I wanted a kid now but I can wait. We caught a break Maya we should both quit feeling sorry for ourselves and embrace it."
"When do we start that?" Maya asked.
Josh took one look at Maya and started to feel the tears start once more. "How bout in the morning? I think I still need my grieving period."
Maya laughed lightly and laid back down with Josh. "That sounds perfect," she confessed.
The next morning was exactly how all their morning should have been. Both Maya and Josh were happy and together. They got Aria ready together, and each prepared for their day. They even dropped Aria off together and when they both met at Riley's that afternoon to pick up Aria Josh made a surprising but understanding decision. "Riles," he began. "I think I'm ready to talk to mom and dad."
At that time Riley stopped what she was doing and looked over at Josh. "Really?" she asked in a shocked manner. "Okay. The best time to talk to them is this weekend, but if you don't mind my input. I think you should go alone. This is your own battle." Josh began to look uneasy. "Don't worry. I'll have Maya and Aria here by my side in this very apartment. We'll wait, chat, and hope for the best."
Josh nodded and looked back at his little sister and how lucky he was to have someone as great as her to be related to. "Thanks Riley. I'll see you Saturday."
Saturday came and Josh was anxious. Maya was even worse. It was like she was prepping him to go be interrogated by the police. She was questioning him and giving him methods on how to cool his anger. She even gave him do's and don't's of what to say. "Do, being humble and polite. Don't mention our pregnancy scare. Do mention that we're in a good place. Don't catch an attitude with them. Remember you can be just as feisty as me at times."
Josh sighed and nodded as he pulled up his jacket. "Also tell Riley thanks so much for telling them I'll be passing by today. This is really nerve wracking."
Maya stood in front of Josh and set her hands on his shoulders. "You got this babe. I'll tell Riley as long as you go in there and do what you need to do. Not just for me but our family."
Josh nodded and stood up from his position in a chair. "Here I go."
Maya, Riley, Aria, and Auggie were in the living room of Riley's apartment chatting when Maya and Riley started getting personal. "We had a pregnancy scare the other day," Maya confessed.
Riley's jaw dropped. "No way. Maya you guys have to be more careful!"
"I know," Maya said. "Enough about me. How's your life Riley."
Riley smiled and leaned back on the couch with the same goofy smile plastered on her face from middle school. "I'm in love Maya," she confessed.
"With who?" Maya questioned.
"Okay, so do you remember Charlie Gardner from school?" Maya nodded. "Well, we might have started dating again about a year ago, and I really love him Maya. I mean after Lucas, which was complete puppy love. I haven't ever felt this strong of feelings for anyone and its really nice. I mean he supports me completely, and we're even thinking about moving in together," Riley confessed.
Maya smiled greatly for her friend. "That's amazing Riley! But you mentioned Ranger Rick and I was wondering what's he up to these days? I obviously haven't talked to anybody in a while."
Riley shrugged. "Last I heard he fell off the wagon and-"
"Wait. What do you mean 'fell off the wagon?'" Maya asked.
"I mean he-" Riley was cut off when Josh came barreling through the door.
Josh stomped over towards the girls and Auggie with an agitated look on his face. "Did you know that mom is still bent on this idea to make me have full custody? Even after I explained how Maya and I are living together. She's just unbelievable!" He looked at all of their faces and sighed. "The worst part, is that she and dad are separated. Apparently, he's been living with Shawn and nobody told me a thing! Not even Shawn himself told me what was going on. When did our family get so effed up?"
Auggie, who was playing with Aria only uttered a few words. "The day you left," he mumbled.
Everyone's head turned towards Auggie. "What do you mean?" asked Josh as he walked over and sat in front of Auggie.
"I mean everything started to slowly crumble away when you left. When you left Maya found out she was pregnant and disappeared, hurting Riley and causing her to do some stuff she isn't proud of," he confessed.
"Riley?" Josh asked. She just nodded lightly with a slight shimmer of tears in her eyes.
"Mom and Dad because you only called twice a year while you were gone. They each held different views on the situation it self. Mom, angry because you left so suddenly and Dad, proud just because you could find something that you seemingly loved."
"Are you serious?" asked Maya.
Auggie nodded and continued. "That's when the cracks started to appear. The day when mom said she wanted you to file was her own anger coming out. Dad just didn't know what to do because mom wasn't the same person she was three years ago. She was just too angry."
Auggie went back to playing with Aria, while Maya, Riley, and Josh just soaked in what they just learned. "This is all because of me," Josh mumbled.
At home that night Josh was letting the guilt take over. So much that after Aria was asleep, he cried into Maya's shoulder. He sobbed, wept, and all the other synonyms you could think of. It was eating him alive. He just couldn't accept the fact that it all started the day when he left. So that night he cried. Mourning the loss of his family. The one that he destroyed.
He laid in bed and cried for two things. The baby that he wanted so badly and the destruction of his own family.
Joshua Gabriel Matthews cried like a real man does. After all, only real men cry.
A/N: I hope you all liked the vulnerability of this chapter! Please don't be afraid to PM me or leave a review!
