Selfless
Rated M; AU
Disclaimer
: Naruto and its characters do not belong, in any way to the writer of this fanfiction. This fiction is written for non-profit reasons.
All of the chapters/ short stories in this collection are not correlated in any way to any of the other chapters. There is no certain order and may often drift between AU and canon. Each can be read and interpreted independently.

A/N: This is a sequel of sorts to the previous one-shot in this collection: "Selfish."


I was fourteen when hate consumed my mind, my soul, and my very person.

The very thought of revenge was an adrenaline rush for me. I was so damn close.

My brother… I don't even consider him to be any relation of mine anymore killed our family when I was eight. Up until this point, the thought of revenge was a small thought in the back of my mind. I had always known it would be hard, impossible even to take my revenge. He had always been stronger than me, better than me, always one step ahead of me. But that little dream of revenge had grown over the years and finally, it might just be possible. I'm stronger now, smarter and I might finally be better than he ever was.

The thought of revenge was the only thing occupying my mind now but the only one keeping me sane was my best friend. He was my sunshine, the only bright thing in the bleakness that is life.

He was the only one who could make me laugh and smile. His vivacious personality had all of those around him laughing and smiling. He made people happy, but no one was as happy around him as I was.

He was too modest to ever be aware of it but everyone who knew him fell in love with him, each in their own way. He asked me once why I would stay with him when I had all the cool kids in school after me. That was the stupidest thing he could have ever said. All around him were people vying for his attention, his kindness, his bright smile. He just didn't know.

So I didn't answer.

We had been friends for ten years now, since preschool and we have been together since that day when we were toddlers. We grew up together and he was all the happiness I knew. When everything fell apart around me, he was the only constant I had; he was the only person who could keep me smiling even when my soul was rendered from my body and consumed in the hellfire pit of revenge and despair.

During lunch one day in a cliché setting of petals from pink blossoms swirling in the spring breeze and the heavy scent of blooming flowers in the air, I realized that I loved him. But I couldn't have that. I couldn't have anything but revenge occupy my mind. Otherwise, all of my planning and efforts would be futile and once again, my brother would win. I cannot and will not have that.

I pushed all thoughts of anything but hate from my mind and allowed the dark abyss of vengeance consume my very person. I gladly gave my soul to the devil in exchange to see my brother dead.


I found him when I was fifteen.

He was in a mental ward, the irony of ironies.

I sat before him, the flames of hate burning another portion of my heart away as I stared at him from across the table. If I had it my way, he would be dead then and there but I couldn't. Not yet… I had to be patient.

He leered at me from the other end of the table and it was all I could do not to tear him apart. His lips parted to mouth his hateful nickname for me, "foolish little brother." His eyes were mocking, his face expressionless.

His doctor was standing behind him so I could not ask the things I wanted. So I pretended. I pretended I was his caring little brother. I pretended that I was sympathetic of his perfectly fucking sane "condition." I pretended that I still had a soul.

My eyes matched his; they were as cold and mocking as his. My face carried the same façade of stoicism. I knew his game well.

I knew he wasn't mentally deficient. My bastard of a brother was psychotic but he was not insane. He did not actually need to be in a mental facility; he was simply there to torment the other patients and to stay out of jail. It was also to ensure the fact that I could not get him there.

I laughed to myself. Well, brother, you're going to be surprised at just how I can andwill get you, even when you're in here playing your sadistic mind games.

When I left, I left in high spirits. As I walked out the door, I couldn't resist the temptation to turn back and whisper to him, "How the mighty have fallen, Aniki."

To make a good week even better, I came upon the realization that my best friend loved me back. It should have been obvious from the beginning but as my brother occupied my mind, little else was apparent to me.

We were in one of our silly fights. Like always, I was the victor. I had him pinned to the floor and I sat on his stomach, forcing him to surrender. I didn't realize I was laughing until he stared up at me, his eyes wide in surprise. He had told me earlier that I wasn't smiling or laughing anymore; that had prompted an argument which had led to this ridiculous fight.

Looking down at him, the sight of his golden hair and huge sapphire eyes took my breath away. The look in his eyes told me all I needed to know. His lips looked so kissable then and there and it took every ounce of strength to resist.

His eyes grew wider when I stopped laughing and simply sat there – on top of him, no less – and drank in the sight of him beneath me, cheeks flushed, eyes wide, and chest heaving as though he could barely breathe.

I leaned down and pressed my lips against his ear. I didn't miss the shiver that raced down his spine and I smirked.

"I know," I told him.

Before he could ask me what I knew, I pressed my lips against his. His lips were soft and pliant and quickly opened to accommodate my tongue and suddenly, all thoughts of my brother and revenge vanished from my mind, even if for a brief moment because everything was right in the world for once.


I completed my plans when I was sixteen.

My brother had progressively pretended to "get better." I knew he wanted to get out of the asylum soon. I knew he was after me and I also knew he was a sadistic bastard and would use any and every means to make me suffer before he killed me.

I knew he would use him: my best friend.

That was when my resolve strengthened and I realized I had to be selfless in order to protect him. I spent the entire year planning the demise of my brother.

I barely noticed my lover's jaded forlorn, sad expressions when he realized my constant distracted state. But I would always reassure him because after all, he was everything to me. I don't think I would be able to survive if he had ever left me so I gave him everything.

At first I didn't want to make love to him. No, that is a lie. I'd wanted that since I realized my love for him but I had always restrained because sex would lead us to a deeper connection that would make it so much harder for me to throw away everything to kill my brother. But the longer I was with him, the harder it was to restrain myself. I finally gave in because I loved him so fucking much.

Every time I kissed him made me want him more; the way his lips felt against mine made me forget about everything else. The way our tongues danced around each other made me feel as though my heart would burst from the love and want I had for this blond-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful lover.

Before I even realized what had happened, we were naked and pressed flush against each other on my bed and I was feverishly trying to devour every part of his body. The look on his face when I took him in my mouth was almost enough to make me come then and there. I knew he was close too so I pulled away and pressed my lips against his instead as my fingers traveled along his thigh.

The exquisite sounds that he made when I slipped one, two, three fingers into his tight entrance made me want to replace the digits with something else. It felt like an eternity before the expression of pain on his face was replaced by one of ecstasy.

I asked him if he really wanted this – I had to be sure but the expression on his face was answer enough. I shivered involuntarily when he pulled me down for a needy kiss and whispered that he wanted it more than anything and that he'd waited for such a long, long time. Please hurry the fuck up.

I didn't need to be told twice.

I pushed myself into him slowly, as not to tear his tender flesh. The tightness of him was driving me insane and it was all I could do to not immediately take him to the hilt but I knew it was hurting him.

He kissed me softly to tell me it was okay as I began to move. The first few thrusts made him close his eyes as tears of pain leaked from beneath his lashes. I kissed those away and tried to ignore the pain he was giving me from the nails that he dug into my back. Then, I finally found the spot that made him arch off the bed in pleasure. The look on his face and the way he moved to meet my thrusts brought me that much closer to the edge.

When we came, we came together as we cried out each other's names. The world was blinding white as the indescribable pleasure exploded throughout my body. It was amazing, mind blowing, beautiful, stars exploding, planets rearranging, and Armageddon.

I didn't tell him I loved him. That would be selfish of me: to tell him something like that when I planned to do everything I had to in order to kill my brother – even take my own life in the process.

But I was sure he knew that I loved him anyways.


I was seventeen when I died.

I met my brother the day he was released from the asylum. I had been speaking to his doctors and knew exactly when he would leave the institution so I went in the SUV our parents left us to pick him up. Under the watchful eyes of the attendants and doctors, I knew my brother would not refuse to get into the car with me.

I smiled sadly as we drove down the highway. I would finally have my revenge. But would it really be worth it?

Seeing my brother's face answered that little nagging doubt. Yes, it would be worth it, I decided as the car careened off the road with the both of us in it.

It wasn't so much revenge anymore. I was doing this to protect him: my lover, my friend, my life. He would be in constant danger if Itachi was able to roam free. He would kill him to destroy me; after all, he had destroyed everything important to me in the past. I was doing this because even though I'd been selfishly consumed in hatred all these years, I would finally be selfless. I would give myself to protect the people important to me.

My last thought as the SUV exploded upon impact with the side of the cliff was Naruto.

"Dear Naruto,
I'm sorry.
Love, Sasuke."


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