Hello again –smiles brightly- Welcome back to
Anime Questions Answered
I've been forgetting this…
I own only what my sick mind comes up with.
The characters refuse to call me "mommy" or "beloved creator."
So I guess they aren't mine….yet.
Well this is an interesting chapter to say the least. And before you ask no I don't think I was on drugs or using alcohol at the time. I would know because I wrote it in math class. My school is not very open about drugs for some reason.
QUESTION: Why is it bad things always happen when anime characters are nekked? (Naked)
Kagome was dirty. She had walked through mud for hours, gotten covered in smelly demon blood, a cat had sprayed on her, and she was incredibly sweaty and had mud stains on her overly long socks. It was obvious to InuYasha that she didn't need a bath.
"Please I need to bathe," she sobbed out of pure frustration. Everyone else just cried from the smell.
"No you'll just use it as an excuse to go home for three weeks!" Kagome then started a war. It was long, grotesque and eventually made into a low budget movie.
"Nu-uh."
"Yea-uh."
"Nu-uh."
"Yea-uh."
"Nu-uh."
"Yea-uh…"
"Pass the popcorn." Not taking his eyes off the action Miroku handed Shippo the popcorn.
"Hey Sango can I have the milk duds?" Sango gave Miroku the milky goodness in sugar form. The drama just would not stop!
"Nu-uh."
"Yea-uh."
"You know what InuYasha…" The audience gasped as they prepared for the climatic ending. All were tense as they watched.
"OSUWARI!" Sango, Miroku and Shippo jumped to their feet, applauding wildly.
"Amazing acting!"
"That was incredible!"
"Yeahh!! –whistles-"
Kagome bowed, said Osuwari as an encore and ran off to the springs. Her screams of joy at being able to cleanse echoed through the forest.
She sat in the water happy as a perky, unrealistically proportioned clam. While she was thinking about something totally unrelated Naraku and his minions, the band of seven, random demons and Sesshomaru surrounded her.
"Eeeek. Get out of here!" Kagome yelled at all the people that would love and would kill her in an instant.
"Nope I like killing…Especially naked women." Jakotsu gagged at the statement.
"Naraku you are disgusting! Oh uhh." His gag reflex tried to kick in. Poor Jakotsu has a weak stomach.
"This Sesshomaru does not agree with your stupidity."
"RAWRGHHHHH," said InuYasha's go-fish playing partner. Everyone else bickered over who was evilest and if women were good looking.
"You know Kagome has left…." Kanna creepily trailed off. The men/ Jakotsu shuddered.
Kagome skipped back to camp putting on her clothes as she went. Out of breath she said, "No n-no more baths…" Her sock was on her arm a shoe on her ear and her skirt was a hat. And her shirt was rumpled and was less than "school girl perky."
Sango had already gone off to take a separate bath; she'd decided she needed one too.
"I give her five minutes."
"I say it's seven."
Six minutes later Sango was running back to the camp. She had managed to get her clothes on right.
"Jakotsu threw up on me!"
Completely forgetting her pledge of horrible hygiene Kagome replied with, "Let's take a bath!" Sango glared at her.
With some mysterious power she possessed which the author never describes Sango made sure almost every spring in Japan was destroyed.
Unfortunately, everyone began to smell …funky. In a non-sixties, funky tie-dye, psychedelic drug free way.
Especially Sango; hitting Miroku made her sweat, in fact Miroku in general made her sweat… from anger…pervs. After a week or so, everyone began to avoid her. B.O just isn't attractive.
Sango so wished she had just left the springs alone. Even if evil people/demons hung around them like druggies at town market. (That's in my town XD) A bath near killers is better than no friends because of a sad lack of hygiene.
It got to the point where people in China moved away from the coast. Then while searching for her friends, who had disappeared again, she found something amazing.
There it was- a spring. Sango ran slow-mo across a field of dying (from her smell) flowers, arms reaching towards the spring. The spring sat there in a seductive watery way as the romantic, run-across-a-field-of-flowers music played. However she didn't notice the "bad guys" because she was busy crying and stripping herself of her rotting clothing.
"Wench your scent offends this Sesshomaru."
"YOUR nudity offends this Jakotsu," screamed Jakotsu before he threw up. Sango grew angry, very, really, incredibly angry. As stated earlier being angry makes her hot and sweaty.
Naturally, nothing good comes from a woman's anger. Demons and those near her died first. They convulsed as they foamed at the mouth, lost hair, their skin blistering and threw up reacting to Sango as if she was a radioactive substance. Stink does do that when multiplied by the speed of moronic squared. I'm sure she was a lot worse though.
Then heroically Jakotsu called upon his last bit of strength.
"Naked women cause trouble," he gasped out, "It's like a universal law or something." His sword, Jakotsuto sliced through Sango thus ending her stinky reign. (She fell into the spring and ultimately drowned.)
He smiled, as he knew he had done society a favor. Then he put on some lipstick so he would look good for who ever found his rotting corpse and THEN he died.
Still children are power smelling an awful stench. The next 500 hundred years became known as "ZOMG! WTF IS THAT SMELL! OMG WTF BBQ!"
Then Kagome was born and the people named it the "Hey look a girl riding on a boy with furry ears' back, how normal!" era.
And adults were crazy from being within 1,000 miles of it. Through the power of smelling bad Sango caused the beginning of an entire society's collapse.
ANSWER: It's a law of both the anime and real world. Besides are things ever good when you smell horrible, are surrounded by bloody thirsty men, people are avoiding you AND you're naked? Not usually.
NEXT CHAPTER'S QUESTION: Why is it that there is always an old guy who shows up conveniently and knows everything about ALL demons? (Even if they were just created.)
THE AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Thank you to Asatsuyuu Nikoru: The only person who reviews anymore. You all should follow her perfect, amazing example! (Well you can I don't really care.) No deary you are definitely not fat. You have only one chin!
Wow the ending of this chapter could have been for a tragedy... If I hadn't added the lipstick part.
I am trying to update more quickly. This chapter was somewhat short so it was easy. … At least it was this time. So yeah cool it only took me five days to find the time to post this; sweeetttt.
Love to you all until next time! Review on your way out the virtual door.
-TheMysteriousAuthoress
P.S I am also on Fiction Press as "C like Cookie" and I am writing a story that will be up there eventually. -TMA
