Chapter 8: Pas de Deux

Little Alexis Castle falls in love with dance while Rick Castle falls in love with her dance teacher. This chapter is set nearly a year into the future following the final chapter of the original story.


"I've never seen you so nervous." Kate meets his eyes in the dressing room mirror and the fluttering in her heart automatically calms. It's her first time seeing him today and he looks gorgeous in his tux, the red and green tie she's sure Alexis insisted he wear. Kate got ready at her apartment this morning instead of the loft, doing most of her hair and makeup in her bathroom; she needed the time alone, the space to concentrate, but it had her missing him as if she didn't spend the entire day before with him and his daughter, like always. "It's very cute, but why are you so nervous?"

"You're not supposed to be in here," she grumbles, smoothing down the tulle of her skirt, pressing her palm to the embroidered corset crushing her ribs.

Rick eases the door to the dressing room shut and starts towards her. "All your little ballerinas are waiting on you, including ours."

Ours.

Her lips quirk and she turns away from the mirror, allows him a full glimpse of her in costume.

"I talked to her and the rest of the girls before I came in here. Is she doing okay?" Kate murmurs, twining her hands in front of her, but Castle is distracted by the sight of her dressed like a mystical flower. "Castle."

"I can't determine if I should call you sexy or exquisite," he murmurs, stumbling through a few steps before he reaches her. The costume isn't elaborate, not like those in the elite performances of the ballet she and her class are dancing tonight, just a simple ivory ballet gown made to look ethereal, decorated with a slew of purple petals and green leaves sewn into the skirt, matching lavender flowers twined through the curls of her hair. Her girls look similar, their leotards varying shades of pastels, glittering skirts in the shapes of petals flowing from their tiny waists.

They're a small school of dance doing a single performance from the famous Nutcracker ballet, an adaptation of Waltz of the Flowers, one of the few acts that doesn't require any male dancers; there was no reason for her to feel so anxious.

And yet she can't manage to quiet the nerves swarming her gut.

Castle skims his fingertips along the vines of flowers off her shoulders, along the corset that dips ever so slightly between her breasts.

"Rick," she calls, snaking her hands out from her sides to clutch the edges of his suit jacket. "Alexis."

"Looks like a beautiful little rosebud," he confirms, his throat working through a swallow as he tears his gaze away from the structured frame of the corset. "And is probably as nervous as you are. Which brings me back to my previous question, why are you so nervous?"

Kate snags her teeth with her bottom lip, earning the tap of his fingertip to her chin, a reminder that she's about to ruin the pink lipstick she just painted on.

"I just - I haven't done this in a while," she confesses. "Danced in front of other people, I mean."

"What are you talking about? You dance with your students every day-"

"With my students," she nods. "In a classroom, without an audience."

"Except for me," he adds with a smirk.

"Castle," she groans, amusing him further with her frustration. "It's just - this is the first time I've danced for a crowd in… since before my mom was murdered. I stopped after that, as soon as I graduated, and focused on being a teacher instead of a performer."

He softens with understanding, always understanding. "Why can't you be both?"

"Because it-" She lowers her eyes to the crisp green of his dress shirt, the snowflake pin Alexis told her she clipped to his lapel before they left the loft. "It feels wrong dancing without her in the audience, especially now. The Christmas performances... " Kate sighs, forces the shuddering in her chest to calm. "The Nutcracker was her favorite."

His warm hands ascend to her elbows, his palms cradling the sharp juts of bone, his thumbs soothing at the edge of her tricep muscles.

"Kate, I've seen you dance," he murmurs, not at all fazed by her answer, like he already knew. Wouldn't surprise her. "I've seen you in that studio with my daughter more times than I can count." She lifts her eyes to him at that, finds him gazing back at her with so much adoration, she feels her skin flushing with it. "I'll never forget the first time, when you both danced without knowing I was there. It was… one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen."

"Rick," she whispers, but his hands travel up the length of her arms, scaling her biceps to cup her shoulders in his palms, brushing one of his thumbs to her exposed collarbones.

"You told me dancing helped you heal. I've been able to see that from the start, because you dance with passion, with all your soul, and it shows," he murmurs, his lips spreading with a smile. "And I know it's not the same, not even close, but just know that you have someone sitting in the audience for you, watching with enough pride to rival your mother's."

Kate laces her arms around his neck, elevating on the tips of her pointe ballet shoes to seal her cheek to his, and takes a deep breath before he really makes her cry.

"I wish she could have met you, Castle," she breathes, feeling his fingers traipse delicately across her back, stuttering over the silk straps lacing down her spine, unsure where to touch, before he gives in and simply wraps his arms around her. "You and Alexis - she would have loved you both so much."

"We would have loved her back," he says without doubt, his lips grazing her ear.

Kate sucks in a deep breath of his cologne, the clean scent of the laundry detergent they now share. It's been over a year, two semesters of teaching Alexis, since they met, since she promptly let him slip past walls that have kept others out for as long as she can remember. Her apartment is wasted space, collecting dust from her lack of living there; the man holding her now, whispering words of reassurance in her ear, and the little girl waiting for her backstage, have become her home.

"I love you," she murmurs, brushing her nose to his cheekbone, waiting for his head to turn, for his lips to find hers.

She sighs into his kiss, doesn't care that she'll have to fix her makeup before she steps out of the dressing room to join her team of dancers, who are jittery with just as many nerves as she is and waiting on her.

Castle cradles the harsh angle of her jaw, dusting his fingers down her throat and sending rivulets of electricity trickling through her veins.

"I love you too," he hums, parting from her lips with a soft breath, reluctant to let her go. "So go out there and dance from your heart, like you do with Alexis, like you do with me."

He wiggles his brow and Kate chokes on a laugh, stains it to his cheek. "You're a terrible dancer, babe."

"I try to give you confidence and this is what I get in return?" he scoffs, but he's grinning, skating his hands down her sides to skim over the sheer material of her skirt. "But if that's true, you should give me some lessons later, preferably while still wearing this."

"Mm, find a nutcracker costume," she muses, nipping once at his bottom lip before pulling away. "And we'll talk."


The dance goes well, as seamless as Kate could have hoped for. Her troup's practice pays off, each of her seven girls nailing the choreography without misstep, each mini solo flowing flawlessly into the next. And with Alexis performing alongside her, Rick's bright eyes in the crowd every time hers strayed to the seats below, Kate dances with more enthusiasm than she has in years. Enough to make her wish those minutes on the stage would never end.

But once it does and the applause fills the concert hall, she leads her group of flowers behind the curtain, ushering them to the dressing room and praising each of them for a beautiful job. The girls buzz with excitement, the thrill of a perfect performance, chattering amongst one another until parents begin to filter in, locating their kid before they come to Kate.

She congratulates each child once more and spares a few extra minutes to talk with each mother, discussing resuming class schedules for the new year, payment plans, the usual parts of her business that sometimes grow tiresome. But after her final conversation concludes, she's able to seek out her most talented student, always saving her praise for the girl who has become both a protege and the closest thing to a daughter that Kate could ever imagine for last.

She spies Alexis's fiery red bun across the room, waiting patiently by the vanity where Kate's belongings sit. Alone.

Huh, where was Castle?

Kate starts towards her, eager to steal his daughter's seat and unwrap the ribbons of her pointe shoes, slip them from her aching feet. Even more eager to see Alexis's smile.

"Hey you," she grins, instantly gaining Alexis's attention. The girl pops up from the chair, bare feet free of her ballet shoes, but she bounces on her toes anyway once she reaches Kate.

Alexis throws her arms around her teacher's waist, smiling up at her as Kate cups the round apple of her cheek. "You were perfect."

"Really?" Alexis whispers and Kate can't help rolling her eyes.

"Yes, really. You should have seen how you executed those turns," she grins, adjusting Alexis's slim crown of flowers, knowing Castle will be itching to take pictures before they change back into their street clothes. "You did an amazing job and I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom," Alexis beams, her face exuberant with light until her own words register. She immediately pulls back, slapping a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry-"

"Alexis," Kate murmurs, catching the girl by the hips, the heels of her hands grazing the fabric of her tutu. Even though her heart may have skipped a beat too. "It's okay."

Alexis lowers her hand but chews on her bottom lip, a terrible habit Kate is totally responsible for.

"But I - you're not my mom," Alexis whispers and Kate hates how much that stings. "I wish you were, but I know you're not and I don't want to call you that if you don't want-"

"Alexis," she says again, squeezing her small waist once more before letting go, stealing one of her fidgeting hands instead. She moves around his daughter, her student, to take a seat on the chair in front of the vanity, her feet singing out in relief. Alexis shuffles forward, led by the gentle tug of Kate's hand around hers. "I love you like you're my own and you already know I would never try to take your real mom's place, so it's-"

"You love me?" Alexis whispers, her blue eyes brilliant against the soft pinks and vibrant gold of her costume.

"Of course I love you, silly," she whispers back, watching Alexis's lips spread with awe, both beautiful and heartbreaking. "I love you and your dad."

"Because we're a family?" Alexis asks, afraid to hope for it, she knows. Because Alexis has told her plenty of times just how badly she wants it, a real family, the one her mother robbed her of.

Well, Meredith's loss, Kate's gain.

"Yeah," Kate confirms. "You're definitely my family, Lex."

"Then can I - is it okay if I call you that? Mom?"

Kate's heart stutters again. She never imagined herself as someone who would hold that title, not until Castle, not until this moment with Alexis. She isn't sure what to say, isn't sure if she needs his approval on this, but… surely he would be okay with it, wouldn't object to his daughter referring to her as a second mother?

She doesn't have the time to go find him, to determine if it's right or wrong; his daughter is staring back at her with bated breath, waiting for an answer.

"You can call me whatever you want," she nods, watching Alexis's lips unfurl into that toothy, rosy cheeked smile. The one that showed her joy on full display.

"Thanks, Mom," she repeats, lacing her arms around Kate's neck just as the door swings open.

"What did my daughter just call that woman?"

Kate stiffens in the same moment Alexis does, the little girl's head jerking over her shoulder to find a woman with vibrant red hair and a fur coat standing furious in the doorway. Castle is quickly striding in behind, leftover fury of his own in his eyes. But the damage is already done.

This must be Meredith.


"How about we all step outside for a second?" Castle suggests, his lips pursed into a thin line, the square of his jaw sharp and barely controlled.

Wow, she doesn't think she's ever seen him this angry.

"How about you tell me why Alexis is calling this - this - what are you? A sugar plum fairy? Why is Alexis calling her that?" Meredith demands, every shrill word tightening the tension coiling around Alexis's spine under Kate's hand.

"Maybe because she's more of a mother to her than you ever were," Castle bites out under his breath.

"Take that back," Meredith snarls, spinning on the spike of her stiletto. "Right now, Richard, or I swear-"

"Kate," Alexis whispers, turning to her with tears in her eyes, and no. No, she will not let this woman ruin Alexis's big night. Sure as hell not during Christmas.

"It's okay," Kate promises, rubbing her hand up the girl's back before lifting her eyes to the two parents arguing in whispers a few feet away. Kate clears her throat, earning both their attentions, an irritated scowl from Meredith, a look of remorse from Rick. "Meredith, my name is Kate Beckett. I'm Alexis's dance teacher and Rick's girlfriend."

"Oh, I get it," Meredith laughs, a bitter chuckle that is still somehow light, distastefully airy. "You're playing house while Lexi is in this whole dance phase. That's so cute."

"It's not a phase, Meredith," Castle snaps. "She's been dancing for over a year now. She's good at it."

"My most promising student, actually," Kate adds, squeezing Alexis's waist as his daughter shifts a little deeper into her side. "Tonight's performance was her best yet."

"Oh, I'm sure it was and I'm so sorry I missed it, honey," Meredith cooes, finally directing her attention to the daughter she failed to acknowledge before. "But my flight was late. You understand."

Alexis nods, dropping her gaze to one of the flowers on Kate's skirt. "It's okay."

"See, Alexis doesn't mind and besides, I'm going to make it up to her. I made us a reservation at this fabulous new place that just opened up on the upper west side, so we can have dinner, dessert, and then-"

"No," Alexis blurts, her cheeks flaming as her eyes rise to meet Meredith's furrowed brow. "I - Daddy and Kate, we have our after recital tradition."

"A tradition?" Meredith deadpans, but Alexis stands a little straighter, fists one of her hands in the petals of her skirt.

"We go out for ice cream every time and tonight, we were going to see the Christmas lights and - and Kate got us tickets to the real Nutcracker at the New York City Ballet for tomorrow."

Castle's brow rises, because yeah, ticket prices are high and she may have let the surprise slip to Alexis before she told him, but he doesn't look upset by the idea. If anything, he appears impressed, touched by it beneath the frustration simmering in his features.

But Alexis isn't done, her entire frame shaking, but her voice growing stronger despite its stutter.

"Because she knows it's my dream to be a professional dancer someday and you don't, Mom. I - I love you, but you're never here and I - I want to spend time with you too, but - but you can't just take away my time with Kate and Daddy. I train hard for my recitals and I look forward to them, to our tradition, it's my favorite part of the year."

Alexis lets out a shaking breath, tears trembling on the rims of her eyes.

Meredith blinks. "I - I see."

"I'm sorry, Mom," Alexis whispers, swallowing hard. "I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but you - you always hurt mine and you never even care."

"That's not true," Meredith protests and Kate bites her lip. She's never been the woman's biggest fan, not after witnessing her let down Alexis time and time again, but she won't intervene. No matter how badly she wants to. "I do care, Alexis, I love you, sweetie. I just - it's so hard with my work, being so far away in LA. If you lived with me, you know I'd see you all the time."

Castle's chest puffs with quiet rage and Kate snags his gaze, stops it with an indiscernible shake of her head. Alexis isn't going anywhere. Legalities and custody battles aside, his daughter doesn't want to go anywhere.

"Meredith," Kate addresses her with a deep breath, releasing Alexis's hip before rising to her feet. She isn't able to go far, not with her dance shoes still on, but she assumes she has a better chance at a civil conversation with the other woman while she isn't holding Alexis in front of her. "You flew all this way to see Alexis, so you must care about her, something I think all three of us have in common."

Some of the icy jealousy in Meredith's eyes simmers, melts. She's listening at least.

"And I'm sure you must be exhausted after a day of travel-"

"You have no idea," Meredith huffs, flipping her red hair over her shoulder. "My flight over was hell and I'm just so jetlagged."

Castle rolls his eyes and Kate does her best to ignore him, trying not to give way to the amusement aching to tug at her lips.

"Alexis and I are pretty worn out after the recital tonight too and I can't get another ticket for the ballet tomorrow, but I was going to take these two out to dinner afterwards. Why don't you join us?"

Rick glares at her from over Meredith's shoulder, but his ex wife is looking at her with a little less resentment and Alexis is radiating relief from beside her. He must notice, some of the fight draining from his shoulders, propelling him forward with a deep breath instead.

"Would you like that, Alexis?" he murmurs, easing past Meredith to approach the two of them, descending to his haunches in front of his daughter.

Alexis's lips quirk. "Yeah."

"Well, it's settled then," Meredith declares, adjusting her coat. "Lexi, sweetie, I'll see you tomorrow?"

Alexis meets her mother's pleased smile, patience like an adult dealing with a child in the ten year old's eyes, and nods. "See you tomorrow, Mom."

And just like that, Meredith is pivoting on her heel as if nothing happened, without hugging her daughter despite it being the first time Meredith is seeing her in over a year, without congratulating her for the dance recital she missed, without a care in the world.

"I'm sorry, Alexis," Castle sighs, snagging Kate's attention as well. "I didn't mean to argue with your mom in front of you like that."

She watches Alexis wrap her arms around Castle's neck. "It's okay, Daddy. You were just upset she showed up without calling again and missed another recital."

Rick sighs, but nods his head, hooking an arm around Alexis's shoulders.

"Upset she missed your recital and upset about how she talked to Kate," he admits, sparing a glance in her direction, but Kate is shifting away from the two, giving them the necessary moment while she bends to unlace her shoes.

"I didn't like that either," Alexis confesses, drawing back to smooth her hands down the glittering petals of her skirt. "I call Kate 'Mom' now."

Kate releases a soft laugh, but Rick is beaming as bright as Alexis was when she gave the girl her permission.

"I heard."

"You weren't the only one," Kate murmurs, finally slipping one of the pointe shoes from her foot, grunting as the torn blister on her heel is exposed to the cool air.

But Alexis is anxiously regaining Castle's gaze. "That's okay, right? Because I asked Kate and she said it was okay. I mean, I know she's not my actual mom, but I love her like she is and she loves me too, so-"

"Yes, Alexis," he chuckles, leaning forward to peck a kiss to his daughter's forehead. "It's more than okay. Now, let me go grab my camera, so I can take some pictures of you two before you change. I left it in my seat and-"

"Oh, I'll go get it! Help Kate, she hurt her feet," Alexis whispers with a failed attempt at conspicuousness.

Kate glances up to shoot Alexis a narrowed look. "I can hear you."

But his daughter is already skipping past them for the dressing room door, leaving her and Castle alone in the empty room. He stands from the floor, nods to the chair.

"Sit."

She purses her lips, but descends to the chair she rose from to make a truce with his ex wife, Alexis's real mother. God, she's bitter and she hates it.

"We'll take a bath tonight," he murmurs, bending to curl his fingers at the back of her knee, elevating her leg to unravel the tightly bound straps of ribbons at Kate's ankle, and stroking his thumb to each imprinted piece of skin. "Soak for a while in some Epsom salt and those special oils you like."

Kate hums, can't deny the thought sounds heavenly.

"Peppermint oil," she murmurs, watching the corner of his mouth quirk.

"Perfect for the holidays."

He eases the ballet shoe from her foot, wincing at the bruising painting her bones, the blisters, some weeping and raw, that decorate her toes. He's used to it, has seen the cost of being a dancer many times in the past year, but she trained extra hard this week, spent too much time in her pointes, and it shows.

"Jeez, Kate," he mumbles, brushing his thumb to the slight purpling of her toes. "How do you even walk?"

"It's not that bad." He arches his brow at her, but she merely shrugs. She's put her body through far worse. "Barely feel it."

"Long bath and a massage."

"Mm, a merry Christmas indeed," she smirks, but he only frowns in response, sighing as he skims his hand along the sore muscle of her calf.

"Kate, I'm sorry."

Her brow creases. She knows he feels bad about Meredith showing up, stealing some of the joy from Alexis's eyes with their arguing, but he already apologized-

"This was your big night," he continues, easing her leg back down, looking so distressed for no reason. "A big night for both of you, but I know it was your first time performing again and you did so good. You were stunning up there and I'm so sorry if this-"

"Rick," she interrupts, but the frown across his mouth has only managed to deepen.

"Tonight was supposed to be about us, the three of us," he finally lets out. "As a family."

"It still is," she murmurs, snagging one of his hands from his side, allowing him to pull her to her feet. "Just because Meredith showed up and shook things up a little doesn't change anything, Castle. Alexis and I still had a good performance, we're still going out for ice cream even though it's freezing outside-"

His lips twitch and she raises her hand to his cheek, cradling his jaw in her palm and brushing her thumb to the upturned corner of his mouth.

"We're still going to take your kid to see some Christmas lights and then we're going to go home, put Alexis to bed, and take a bath, like we would have regardless," she murmurs, slipping her other hand beneath his suit jacket to hook her fingers in the waistband of his slacks.

"That all, Ms. Beckett?" he questions, teasing softly, but his eyes are alight with affection, approval.

"Not even close," she grins, her fingers ascending from his cheek to tread through the soft hairs at the base of his skull. He takes the hint with ease, leaning in to kiss her so she doesn't have to lift on her toes.

"You called it home," he mumbles into her mouth. "The loft."

Kate hums, holding to the collar of his shirt as she sways into the enticing warmth of his chest.

"You're home, you and Alexis," she confesses, what he has to have already known.

"Then come home," he murmurs, drawing back just enough to tilt his forehead into hers. "And stay."

The smile blooms unbidden across her lips. "Kinda already am, Castle. But if this is you asking me to live with you-"

"It is," he nods and her heart falls into an uneven arrhythmia even though she already knew this next step was inevitable. She already lives with him, simply has to move the rest of her stuff from her apartment to his to make it official. Hardly a step at all. "And… maybe it's a little more than that too."

"More?" she murmurs, intrigue striking the tempo of her heartbeat to increase, rushing through an eight count. What more could he-

The door swings open, Alexis rushing through with Castle's camera clutched to her chest. "You didn't ask her yet, did you?"

"Ask me?" Kate echoes, watching him sigh, glance over his shoulder to pin Alexis with a long-suffering look.

His daughter winces. "Oops."

"Rick," she whispers, both sets of her fingers curling around the lapels of his suit.

He looks back to her with nerves brimming in his eyes.

"I was going to ask you tonight, either during the Christmas lights or maybe at home, in front of the tree," he muses, his chest rising and falling with a quick and uncertain breath. "Then I thought about waiting for New Year's, because I know Christmas is… it's understandably bittersweet for you and I don't want anything about this to be bitter-"

"Dad," Alexis groans from behind. "Just ask."

"Yeah, Castle," she breathes, the question gone from her voice, her mind. "Ask me."

A smile flickers across his lips, confidence returning, and then he's reaching inside his jacket, digging into an inner pocket, and descending to one knee.

"Katherine Houghton Beckett," he murmurs, lifting a gorgeous ring between them, sparkling with diamonds that are beautiful but not blinding, exactly what she would have wanted. "Me and my kid are ridiculously in love with you."

Alexis giggles from a few feet away, watching them with the camera shuttering with the capture of each photo, but Kate can only smile, feeling it threaten to tremble and break with an overwhelming combination of joy and tears. She's never been one to get weepy over anyone, but she just danced for the first time in years, bearing her soul to the stage and feeling invigoration flush her veins, his little girl called her 'mom' and is currently bouncing with anticipation at the idea of her officially becoming part of their family, and the man she's in love with is down on one knee with a ring. She'll give herself a pass just this once.

"I never want to be without you, Kate. Neither of us do." Alexis is quiet at his back now, waiting, while Rick holds her gaze, lets her see everything in his. "I never want the dance between us to stop, so will you marry me?"

"Of course I'll marry you," she whispers, chuckling as Alexis squeals and dragging Castle to his feet when he reaches for her hand. She lets him have it, watches him slide the ring on and steal her breath before she's arching on her aching toes to seal another kiss to his lips.

"I love you too, both of you," she adds, shooting a grin over Castle's shoulder to the little girl snapping pictures with her father's expensive camera. Engagement photos with him in formal wear while Kate's dressed like a flower, wonderful.

"Good, because now you're stuck with us," he murmurs, soft and teasing, but oh so serious too. He's been serious about her from the start.

Maybe it's why none of this comes as a surprise. The time, the place, yes, but not the idea of marrying him.

No, the acceptance that she would likely spend the rest of her life with Rick Castle and his daughter settled over her the night of Alexis's first recital, the night he danced with her in their living room in nothing but silence and city lights. The night she realized she never wanted him to let her go.

Kate laces her arms around his neck for the second time that night, her gaze catching on the ring sparkling on her finger, before she drops her forehead to rest against his.

"Good," she echoes just above a whisper. "Because the dance with you never ends, Castle."