Running to Stand Still
By Alaricnomad
Chapter Eight: Conversations
She'd never been more uncomfortable in her life.
The mood was jovial, lighthearted in a strange irony to the tension and distance that had been between the group for the past few months following Haley and Nathan's disastrous wedding day. She stood uncomfortably to the side, watching uneasily as her friends' searched the crowds for her and Brooke, Nathan and Haley homed in on her, Brooke dragging a reluctant Lucas with them. Peyton frowned as she noticed their joined hands.
So much for being invisible.
"Hey, Sawyer," Nathan was the only one that seemed comfortable in her presence, giving her a smile and a hug, "We're graduated. Can you believe it? How crazy is that?"
"Pretty crazy," Peyton's gaze strayed to Haley at her husband's side, looking strangely knowing as she sensed the odd, underlying tension between Lucas, Brooke and Peyton. Then again, the young Mrs. James-Scott thought to herself, when was there not tension between those three?
"Hey, Miss Valedictorian, your speech was awesome. Great job."
Haley forced a smile. "Thanks, Peyton."
Lucas and Peyton's eyes met a moment later when he finally stopped avoiding look at her, and time stopped for them both. Lucas swallowed hard, his Adam's apple visibly bobbing. Heat spiked through him, a strange tingling flooding through each and every one of his limbs. It was like electricity in the air, potent and surreal. Looking into those incredibly green eyes, he knew Peyton felt the same effect. She was the first to snap out of it, looking away and inevitably focusing on Brooke in hopes of a distraction.
Brooke gave her a nervous grin, unsure how Peyton would respond. "Hey, P. Sawyer. We figured that after making it through two crazy years, it's only fitting we celebrate together. And I know just the way to celebrate," having all their attention, she opened her purse and gave them a glimpse of a small flask, "I figure a little won't hurt anything."
Nathan grinned. "Brooke Davis, rebel without a cause. I'm in."
He looked over at his wife inquisitively and she shrugged. "Why not?"
Brooke turned to the man at her side. "Lucas?"
Tearing his eyes away from Peyton, Luke regarded Brooke bemusedly. "Huh? Oh, yeah, whatever."
"Excellent," Brooke affirmed and she and Nathan began to pass around cups of Karen's specialty punch, slipping in a little liquid delight with each glass. They formed a ring so not to catch the adults' attention and when they came to Peyton, the blonde held up her hand with a shake of her head. "No, none for me."
Nathan's brows arched, "You serious? Who are you, and what have you done with Peyton Sawyer?"
Peyton sighed, "Guys, there's something I have to tell you." A beat. "I'm pregnant."
And jaws began to drop.
--
How he'd managed to corner her, she had no idea.
She'd gone into a short explanation of the circumstances- twisting the facts around here and there. She had told she was six weeks along (lucky her, she still wasn't showing much at twelve), and she didn't really want to discuss the father. She'd implied he had been a one night stand at a bad point for her and while it earned her a mixture of sympathetic, pitying, judgmental and jealous (Lucas) looks, it stopped the questions. Apparently, though, it didn't work to thwart Lucas. If nothing else, the boy was persistent.
"We don't have to talk about any of it…us or what you told us. Just talk to me for a while please."
"Luke…"
"Please, Peyton…" his voice was low, close to pleading, "Haley aside, you're one of the best friend I have ever had. I want that back, even if it's just for today."
She hesitated, staring into eyes so dark with melancholy, those beautiful blue eyes capable of baring her soul, to both condemn and redeem her. And as usual, she caved in. "Alright."
He gave her a boyish grin and plopped down in the seat beside her. Peyton bit her lip, regarding him cautiously. "How's your mom?"
"She's doing alright. She's been pretty irked with me lately, though. She says I'm hovering too much."
She laughed softly. She could definitely see him. "Somehow, I can't blame her."
He frowned. "I can't be concerned? I don't want to see a repeat of a couple months ago."
"Luke, calm down. That's not what I meant. What I'm saying is she probably understands you're worried, but you can't smother her. And you've got a lot going on yourself. You're not Superman, Scott. You can't be everywhere at once."
He tensed and she froze, realizing what she had said- repeating reassurances she had given him on the infamous night. Lucas looked up at her, attempting to rest a hand upon her shoulder, but when she flinched, he let his hand fall away. "Peyt?"
She shook her head, working to change the topic. "What are you going to do next? Did you choose your school?" She'd been so out of the loop lately, she suddenly realized she had no idea what any of her friends planned to do post-graduation.
"I'm not going. Not yet. I'm gonna take a year off to stay help Mom."
Her heart melted. She couldn't help it. "That's sweet of you."
He smiled. "Gotta do what your heart tells you."
Funny- the last time she had fallen her heart, she had lost her best friend and then proceeded to sleep with her boyfriend. "Speaking of hearts, are you and Brooke back together?"
"Not quite," he watched her face carefully in anticipation for her reaction, "We talked, but I told her I needed time."
Her heart tightened but she kept her expression neutral. "But you worked things out?"
"A lot of it. We talked about Dan and the baby. There's still more."
She studied him, brow furrowed with ponderings he couldn't hope to understand. That hurt him in some inexplicable way. He had always prided himself on being able to read Peyton. "Communication," she said finally, "That's the weak point between you two. You don't talk enough about the important stuff."
Unlike the two of us, she added silently.
He nodded. "I know."
"Just think it through this time, Luke. We're not kids anymore."
He fell quiet for a moment, his eyes settling on her stomach. "No…we're not." He reached out, taking her hand and she allowed the contact. It was like electricity, a wonderful sensuality he had felt every time since the day they had first touched. He ran his thumb across the back of her hand, loving the feel of her soft palm resting in his, so vastly different from the rough, calloused texture of his own. Her slender fingers wrapped around his, giving them a gentle squeeze and he gave her a soft smile.
She swallowed, opening her mouth to speak when they were suddenly approached by Brooke, who met their questioning gazes apprehensively. Peyton sought to drop his hand, but Lucas held on. "Peyton, can we talk?" she gave Lucas a pointed look, "Alone?"
"That's my cue," Luke said as he jumped up to his feet. He kissed Peyton's hand before placing it back in her lap. "I'll talk to you ladies later."
Brooke shook her head with an air of fond exasperation. "That's Luke for you, turning on the charm no matter the situation." She looked back at the other woman and with Lucas's exit; awkwardness fell between the two former friends.
Peyton warily watched her companion, defensively wrapping her arms around herself. "What do you want, Brooke?"
Brooke took the seat Lucas had vacated, sighing softly as she turned to face Peyton. "I wanted to apologize. I overreacted."
"That's an understatement," was her grumbled reply.
Brooke agreed but she held up her hand for silence, wanting to get it all out before she lost her nerve. "No, let me finish. I overreacted, so badly. I've always been so insecure when it comes to Lucas, I know that and after what happened last year…" she shook her head, as if to dispel the thoughts, "I should have trusted you, and him. You were only trying to give me the truth this time. I know it might not mean much, but I am so sorry."
Peyton stared at her expressionlessly, turning her face away to hide the hurt she'd fought so hard to bury over the past four months. "I was just being honest, Brooke. I'm sorry if it hurt you, but I did what I thought was right. Do you just expect me to forgive you like nothing happened?"
"No," Brooke replied firmly, "I don't," she gave Peyton a sad smile, "I just want you to know I'm here if you want to talk. I remember…each time Luke and I had pregnancy scare, I was scared out of my mind. I know what it's like to feel alone and scared."
"Thank you, Brooke."
Brooke smiled. "Don't mention it, Blondie. You've been the best friend I ever had. That doesn't just go away overnight."
Peyton blinked away tears pricking at her eyes. Damn hormones. Brooke's face softened and she pulled her friend into a hug, an embrace Peyton fell into gratefully. "Shh, P. Sawyer, it's going to be okay."
The curly-haired blonde sniffled. "Is it?"
"Yeah, it will be." Brooke pressed a kiss to the temple of the woman in her arms. "You gotta promise me now, that you're going to call me when you get to where you're going. I want constant updates. I want to hear every little thing, you hear me?"
"Yeah, absolutely," Peyton smiled, wiping at her eyes as she pulled away. The brunette returned the smile, both women visibly more at ease as she stood, holding out her hand to Peyton. Peyton took her hand and Brooke gave her a wink, "C'mon, let's make this night count."
Peyton nodded, allowing her to be led back to the festivities.
--
She was truly, honestly enjoying herself, having finger-foods and various snacks as she caught up in conversation with her father and Karen. She was good-naturedly teased about her increased appetite and eating for two, listened carefully and nodded along while her on-again, off-again lover's mother (something that had her a bit uncomfortable as she realized they were discussing a baby that was the woman's grandchild, without her knowledge) advised her on what to expect over the next few months of her pregnancy.
Her good mood began to dwindle, however, when she felt a hand placed on her arm, gently cupping her elbow, and a familiar voice broke into the conversation, "Peyton? Can I talk to you?"
She sighed, resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It seemed everyone had something to say to her today. She delayed looking directly at him as she watched Karen and her father for their reactions. Karen looked curious while Larry was apprehensive. As Peyton locked eyes with him, there was an obvious question in them, as well as a need for reassurance. When Larry nodded slowly, Peyton turned her head to look to Lucas, not able to refuse once she met those inquiring blue eyes.
"Sure, Luke."
Her apprehension continued to grow as he led her away to a secluded area, pulling her out of view from any others to see him. The look in his eyes was dark and penetrating, his gaze so intense she felt naked before him, completely stripped of her defenses. She squirmed uncomfortably. "Luke, what is this about?"
He licked his lips and decided to get straight to the point, subtlety be damned. "I'm going to just ask this once, Peyt, and I need a honest answer. Is there any chance this baby is mine?"
Peyton frowned at his wording. "Honestly, I think this baby is mine."
Lucas huffed out a breath, closed his eyes and counted to ten. He wouldn't get angry with her, knowing Peyton as well as he did, but fear and anticipation at what her answer would be made it rather difficult to remain calm. "I mean," he said through clenched teeth, "Am I the father?"
In that moment, Peyton Sawyer did the hardest thing she had ever set out to do: lie to Lucas Scott well enough for him to believe her. "No. I told you already."
"You're sure?"
She gave him a flat-eyed stare and Lucas forced a smile. "Right, the timing's wrong." The hurt in his eyes was unmistakable but she did her best not to notice, attempting to turn away. He, however, caught her arm, whirling her around to face him. He stared into her eyes, the look in his own almost fevered in its heat. When he leaned close, she thought he meant to kiss her but instead, brushed his lips against her forehead.
"Come to me tonight." Startled by the request, she tried to pull away, but Lucas held her fast, resting his forehead against hers. "Wait. You don't have to say anything now, but whatever you decide…I'll leave my door unlocked." He kissed her brow once more, and left her be.
Peyton groaned, letting her head fall back against the wall behind her. It never failed- Lucas Scott always managed to make her life a hundred times more complicated than it should be.
