Author's Note: My, my, what have we here? Why look, it's an entire chapter of RodxMello smut! Isn't that just fascinating?

Haha, anyway, here it is peeps, chapter 8. Let me tell you, Rod isn't an easy one to write sex scenes with for me. He…grosses me out a bit :P


It seemed that my plans had gone better than I'd hoped they would. Already I had an opportunity to get close to the Boss himself…though, this wasn't in the way I'd expected. I didn't think he personally would be the type to do this. Regardless, I had little choice but to go along with it and do what I had to or risk ruining my plans if I did otherwise.

Rod left after speaking with me, and I got dressed and put the rosary back around my neck. Somewhere in my mind I had an entirely irrational fear that the beads would burn me if I touched them. But they were simply cold as I hung them around my neck, beginning to trace the cross with my finger.

What would you think of your little boy now, Mother?

I was determined not to care. With the keys clutched tight in my hand I went up to the suite, the tips Angel had given me spinning through my head. What if it turned out I wasn't good enough for him? What happened then? What was I supposed to do? I had no experience! He couldn't possibly expect much of me…but I didn't want to fail in this. I wanted to be able to hear that I was the best fuck he'd ever had, even if that was trashy. It mattered little what it was in, I wanted to be the best. I hated to fail at what I tried to do.

The room was nice; I certainly couldn't complain about it. But it gave me a different feeling now, to look at the bed. It was almost a sense a foreboding, an uncomfortable feeling. My face was burning hot even with no one there, while my stomach felt cold and the rest of me was just numb.

What was I doing?

I was honestly fully prepared to be a whore? Of course I was…I'd already decided that. And thinking of the money, the closeness it could earn me to the mafia, and the power Angel had from merely seduction, I had no want to back out of what I'd chosen. That didn't do anything to help my anxiety, but being anxious was something I was used to. In years, not a single day had passed in which I had not felt worry or stress. It was simply part of the way I worked. There was always something to make me get this sick feeling in my stomach, and now was no different. This was just another test, and it was understandable that I would feel exactly the same way I always had about other tests in Wammy's House.

I could remember knowing a test was coming and staying up all night just to study for it, then being so anxious the next morning I couldn't eat. I could remember sitting in class exhausted from the lack of sleep and shaky from skipping food. After the test, waiting for the results, was always the worst. Sometimes it would be only hours, sometimes days, before our scores were posted. Early on the teachers were told to grade my tests and Near's first, for my sake. Though the results of them never brought me any comfort, they at least replaced my anxiety with anger and I could go on eating regularly and sleeping normally. It was humiliating to walk up to the scores posted on the bulletin board and see mine just below Near's, never enough to surpass him. I cannot even guess how many fights broke out in front of those seemingly innocent posted papers, my anger exploding against anyone who happened to make a comment about "Mello being second again".

That embarrassment…I could imagine it being even worse when it came to sex. I cringed now even at the thought of failing what I had to do.

I'd waste enough time. I had probably about half an hour now until Rod showed up, if he happened to be a punctual guy. I stripped off my clothes and got a quick shower, a necessary thing that Angel had made clear to me. Just long enough to wash the stage sweat off me, and that was it.

"Don't overdress," he'd told me. "Remember, the whole point in clothes is to have them taken off. So unless they specifically request it, don't making yourself look like a bondage slave or any of that crap. Look nice but don't overdo it."

The clothes I had were good enough. Even if they weren't they would have to do anyway, since I couldn't very well get back to my apartment for something else. But I dressed nice on a daily basis, and today was no exception. Tight black shorts so I could manage to survive the awful summer heat, and a maroon button up collared shirt with little skulls on the buttons and a hint of silver thread woven into the fabric. A grey tie, worn loose around my neck and the feather fedora I loved to wear completed it. I didn't really know what to do with my feet. I had some leather lace-up ankle boots, but did I really have to bother to put them on? They sounded as if they'd be problematic to get off, so I simply left them by the door.

And of course, my rosary, hanging around my neck like the sick hypocrisy it was. I stroked the cross as I paced a bit, finding it to still be cold even though it had been close to my body heat. The air conditioning must have kept it chilled, as it was pretty strong in that place and we certainly needed it.

Another thing Angel had warned me of was to not think. Don't consider if this is what you "really want" or if you're turned on by it, or enjoy it in any way, or hate it, or are looking forward to it. None of that was allowed. No thinking about it, therefore no worry, no fear, and hopefully no mess-ups. It was good advice but I wasn't very good with carrying it through. I was even beginning to obsess over what was coming, just useless anxiety going through my head as I tried to make myself calm down. Why did it matter? Why did it have to fucking matter to me so much? I'd been doing well for so long, not caring about a thing. It just figured that something would come along to completely shatter-

I actually flinched at the knock on the door. It was almost like a fight-or-flight moment for me; for a split second all I felt was completely irrational panic and my fist snapped tight around my cross so hard that I felt it cut into my skin…again. Damn, now I was bleeding a little… should I worry about that? No…no, enough worry. I needed to stop it.

It was worth it. It would all be worth it in the end…

I opened the door, the most sensuous look on my face I could possibly manage. Rod was standing there, as I'd suspected, again reminding me very thoroughly just how wretchedly short I was. Damn the man, it was no wonder he ruled Las Vegas. Not many people could take on him alone, let alone the mafia family behind him as well.

"Hey," I said, opening the door wider for him. "I'm glad you came, I've been waiting for you. Did you have business to attend to?"

"Yeah, just a bit," he said, and the smile he gave me as he came inside was hardly a pleasant one at all. It was lustful, the eyes of a man looking at some sort of prize, an item, not a human. It burned me up inside with fury; I wasn't about to allow myself to be treated like a toy. I wanted that charm Angel had, the way he could make one's body simply melt at will. I touched Rod's arm lightly as I passed him up toward the liquor cabinet.

"Is there something I can get you? I suppose you already know what's available…"

"SoCo, dry, will be fine," he said, and I reached into the cabinet to pull out the bottle of Southern Comfort. I poured him a glass and handed it over, while he continued his silent appraisal of my body.

"You won't be having any?" he asked, raising his glass toward me before taking a drink.

"I'm underage," I said. "No drinking allowed."

"So obedient to the rules," he said, and chuckled. "Are you always so obedient?"

"When it suits me," I said, touching his arm lightly. He had the kind of muscles that easily told me he spent hours a week in a gym. They were the kind of arms that didn't need a gun to kill. "But most of the time I'm rather naughty."

"Mm, are you really?" he reached out for my collar with his free hand and straightened it a bit, before trailing his fingers up my neck. His touch made me shiver. "Good only when it suits you…well dressed…and if I'm not mistaken…" His fingers curled under my chin, lifting my head to look up at him. "Rather playful. Like a kitten, eh, chico?"

"If you think so," I said, though I didn't particularly like being compared to a fuzzy baby cat, and the word "kitten" in this context made me think of a pole-dancer. "But anyway, would you like a seat?"

"I'll just take the bed," he said, and his words gave my body a shot of adrenaline. He set down his glass on the bedside table and slipped out of his shirt, then lounged upon the bed, an altogether intimidating figure. It was clear that he went to the trouble to maintain a good appearance. I made a quick mental note to start working out, or something of the like; if the rest of Rod's family looked like he did, then there was no way I could get a thing done around them. They would have no reason at all to respect me.

Rod took up his glass again, sipping at it, his gold necklaces shining against his chest. He crooked a finger at me, and I realized I'd been doing nothing but standing there like an idiot. What was I supposed to be doing? I knew I'd feel stupid if I really started flirting, or if I tried any harder to be sexy. So, feeling a bit at a loss, I went over and crawled up on the bed to sit at his side, and he reached over and pulled on my tie to loosen it.

"How about you strip for me, kitten?" he said, seeming to have settled on that name for me. "I'd like to see that body of yours again."

I smiled, pulling the tie the rest of the way off from around my neck. I slowly popped open each button on my shirt and slipped out of it, pausing as his eyes swept over my chest. I let my hands slide over my skin smoothly, allowing myself a little sigh as I let my nails lightly trail down to my shorts. I went up onto my knees to pull down the zipper, but Rod held his hand for me to stop suddenly.

"What are you wearing underneath?" he asked, a little smirk on his face.

"Thong," I said, which in all truth I really didn't like wearing as I found it rather uncomfortable. But Angel had given it to me, one he'd never worn because it was too small, and told me to wear it, so I had.

Rod motioned me closer once more, and I crawled over on my hands and knees, putting one arm over his body as he reached out for me. His one hand grabbed my ass, making me flinch, and his other hand brought the glass to his mouth once more.

"You're nervous," he said, not even bothering to make it a question. "For all your bold looks you're shaking. Are you scared of me?"

I smirked, hating him for pointing out my weak emotions. "Anyone in their right mind would be scared of you." I ran my hand over his chest. "But I don't mind a little thrill."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Really? You like danger…" His gaze suddenly switched to my rosary, which I'd left on out of habit. For years it had always been the last thing I took off, and the cross was now lightly touching Rod's chest. He set down his now empty glass and took the cross lightly in his fingers. "Do you pray to the Holy Virgin, kitten?"

"Yes," I said. "I do."

He looked like he wanted to laugh at me, and I hated him even more for that. "What do you pray for?"

I was getting sick of his questions. He was just toying with me. "For forgiveness," I said, reigning in my anger. "Because I'm a sinner."

"Aren't we all?" he said, as he wrapped the rosary around his hand, as if it was a leash, pulling me closer to him. "It takes a bold few to actually have the nerve to ask for forgiveness. But you must be even bolder than just that. You actually have the nerve to wear this when you're about to get fucked."

He crushed my lips to his, pulling so hard on the rosary that the beads were biting painfully into my neck, and I prayed silently that it wouldn't break. I could taste the bitter alcohol on his mouth, and his tongue touched my lips, making me automatically jerk to pull away, not that I could go anywhere. My breath quickened a bit, fear making my body tingle with pent-up adrenaline. The fear came from the suddenness; I'd been completely unprepared for him to kiss me so quickly. But I didn't even think this could be called a kiss. This was no gentle touching of the lips, no sir. It was more like he was ravaging my mouth, making me feel as if I was suffocating, taking all my breath away. The way he used his tongue was significantly different from how Angel had done it. This was in no way charming or seductive; it had nothing in it for me. He was simply taking what he wanted and nothing more.

I can't say I was pleased with that, but what was I to do? It wasn't as if I could back out now.

His tongue was far enough into my mouth to touch the back of my own, and it took more than a little effort to resist the urge to gag. I was lucky he didn't keep it up for long, instead breaking it off and leaving me breathless as he shoved me down against the pillows.

"Wait," I said. "Just give me a moment-"

He cut me off with his mouth again. I cringed under his body, all illusions of perhaps enjoying this now gone. I just wanted to get through it and have it over with, yet I knew the worst was yet to come. Damn it, why did it have to be this way?

Rod smirked as I lay flushed and trying to get my breath beneath him, easily cradling my face in his hand. "Tell me, kitten," he said, his breath hot on my face. "Have you ever had a lover?"

"Yes," I lied. There was no way I was telling him the truth on this matter, revealing that weakness to him. I felt sick. I knew this was just part of the process; I had to start somewhere before I could achieve anything great…but I hated it. I hated it so badly.

"You seem out of practice," he said, as he began to stroke my chest. Just what did he mean by that? I squirmed a little under his hand, flinching at the touches, my skin extra sensitive to a foreign hand. I wasn't used to this-

Ahh. Was that what he'd meant then?

"Sorry," I mumbled. "It's been a while."

He chuckled, beginning to bite softly at my neck. Damn it, I hated feeling so small around him. Why did he have to be so wretchedly big?

"Think of this as a job interview," he said, as he began working on getting off my shorts. "You'll really have to sell yourself if you want to impress me."

Well this was a sucky kind of interview. But I went along with it and bit my lip softly, feigning even greater fear than I felt. Whatever, if he wanted me frightened so be it. He could have his sick fun. I wasn't about to give up just because he wanted to play rough.

With me stripped down to that wretched thong, Rod paused only for mere moments to look me over, before he backed off a bit and began unbuttoning his pants. Waves of uncertainly plagued me…Wammy's House certainly never taught one about anal sex but of course I knew about it. But it was a foreign thing, something I'd heard of but had no interest in and therefore ignored, so I was pathetically ignorant in what was supposed to happen. It was a relief when Rod didn't immediately go to strip me of my last scrap of modesty. He instead sat back, his erection now bared, and motioned me over.

"Suck it," he said, and my mouth must have dropped open. He couldn't be serious. Maybe he hadn't noticed, but the two of us were simply of different size scales. I couldn't imagine what he was suggesting working out well in the least. It wouldn't…it just wouldn't fit.

He grinned. "What's wrong? Can't do your job properly?"

It was the exact kind of humiliation I'd feared. I wanted to do things right, and I hated getting it wrong, but I couldn't help but view his order as utterly ludicrous. Still, I crawled forward on my hands and knees, mumbling that of course I could damn well do my job properly. But the closer I got to him the more disgusting this was sounding, and the last thing I wanted to do was touch my mouth to that. I hesitated again, and clutched my rosary suddenly, realizing it was dangling terribly near his cock.

"What happened to doing your job damn well?" he said, and I glared up at him. Job or not, he knew he didn't have to treat me this way. "What are you worried about? The beads? I'll hold them."

"I'm not taking it off," I said peevishly, and he pressed his hand against the back of my head, forcing me down, then pulling up on the back of the necklace so it pressed against my throat.

"How's that Catholic boy?" he said. "If you think it'll save you from getting damned to hell, there you go."

It was tempting to bite him, but I resisted. I had to remember what this was all for, why I'd even come to America. I had a mission; I couldn't lose sight of it. I had to gain entrance to his family. I had to have access to the power and influence they did. For the sake of that, I was here sucking some guy off in a hotel room, as best I could at least. As best I thought I could. Rod thought otherwise. The moment he realized I wasn't making any strenuous effort to get his dick any farther in my mouth, I felt his hand on the back of my head again, pushing me down. Damn it, what was he trying to do, choke me? My hands scrambled to brace themselves against something as my throat tensed in a gag-reflex, and Rod paused.

"Your lover must have been awfully soft with you," he said, and by the tone of his voice I could tell he was mocking me. He knew I had lied. "What, you can't even do a little deepthroating?" I groaned, enough of an answer for him. "You should relax. Keep tensing your throat up like that and you'll gag. You'd better not vomit on me, got it?"

I barely nodded, fighting down the natural instinct to panic and trying to make my body relax. With all my concentration on that I wasn't even thinking to move my head at all, so Rod was doing that for me, forcing my head up and down. My arms were beginning to shake, and I was whimpering every time he touched the back of my throat. I hadn't even considered things like this. Why couldn't I just think things through better? I'd know it wouldn't exactly be easy, but this…

He started playing with my ass, running his finger down the thong strap, pulling it up and letting it slap down, caressing and squeezing my skin. I wished it was getting easier, sucking him like this, but it hardly was. I could taste something in mouth, and I knew it was pre-cum, making this only more nauseating for me. I didn't know if I could keep from throwing up. What would he do to me if I did? A man like him probably carried a gun…

Agh, there was no way I was going to die this way. He wasn't going to kill me; I would give him no reason to. I forced myself to move my head on my own, no longer needing his encouragement. His hands went on toying with me, suddenly reaching down and cupping me through the cloth, squeezing almost painfully hard. But at the same time…it brought me pleasure as well. I knew it was bound to happen eventually, some excitement on my part. If only I had better control of my body. To hate something so greatly, yet suddenly have my body telling me it was getting some enjoyment was a horrid sort of betrayal.

"Ah, sensitive aren't you?" he said. "Looks to me like you've hardly had a bit of experience. Especially considering…" His fingers snaked under the thong strap, pressing against my anus and making me flinch. "Especially considering you're so tight back here. What, you and your lover never fucked?"

I couldn't very well answer him, but he put his hand under my chin, pulling me up to look in his eyes. "Well?"

"It's been…a while," I said, wishing I could get the taste of him out of my mouth.

"Couldn't have been so very much of a while, kitten," he said. "You're young. Just how long ago did you have this lover of yours?" he still had a grip on the rosary, and the way he was keeping it so tight around my neck made my voice sound somewhat strangled.

"Maybe a year," I said. He nodded.

"Is that so? Well, since you've done this before, I suppose there's no point preparing you. You can take it."

All at once he shoved me back against the pillows and jerked down the thong, tossing it carelessly aside as he untangled it from my legs. Instantly ridiculous, childish panic shot through me, fearing the pain and the unknown. It came out as a pitiful little cry and my hands pressed against his shoulders, a useless gesture as it would never have kept him off me. He paused, and I froze, humiliation burning over my entire body. I hated to do this…I hated to admit it…I hated it…I hated it…but…

"I don't know how," my voice was a whisper, hissing out from between my clenched teeth. "I've never done this before."

I was such a coward! Why couldn't I have just stayed silent and taken the pain? But this was different; this wasn't hard blows, a knife, fire, or a gun. This was degradation, violation, personal, and private. This was everything I'd fought so hard to keep from happening. I'd never in my life wanted to allow myself to be ruled by another, to be put down or dominated by someone else. I despised that with such a passion the very thought of it had always made me ill. I hadn't thought it would be like this. There was no respect here, none at all. Even Angel had at least treated me like human and whispered encouragement to me, even if he was dragging me around by a chain. Here I was only being toyed with. This wasn't how I'd hoped I would obtain my goals. If this was what was necessary, of course I wouldn't back out, and I knew it was just that. Already I had gotten just a little bit closer to the family; The Boss himself was about to fuck me, as unpleasant as that was.

But it was something. It was one more step. It was a bit closer to beating Near. It was just another way to get ahead in the game.

I had to remember that.

I drew a slightly shaky breathy, meeting Rod's triumphant smirk with the best defiant glare I could muster. I didn't even let it slip when he used my own tie to secure my wrists to the headboard. He began to stroke between my legs, making me squirm a little, but I was determined not to give in any further.

"So that's it," he said, picking my cross up in his fingers and examining it. "You're a virgin."

Despicable, wretched, vile word. I didn't answer.

"For all your defiance, still a naïve little virgin. That'll be fixed soon enough but…you'll have to pardon me…I rather like this idea. It seems all the more twistedly blasphemous. It's like a Catholic schoolgirl becoming a stripper, only…you are truly shattering every boundary, aren't you?"

I was. Because I was whoring myself as a boy to men, I truly was doing just that. Hell was waiting for me, but so was Near, and he was getting closer to the finish every day. I had to catch up somehow.

Those fingers of his, having toyed with my erection enough that it was leaking pre-cum, suddenly moved lower. I felt them, slick now, pressing against me again uncomfortably, and I chewed on the inside of my cheek in an attempt to remain utterly silent.

He pushed one finger inside.

Shit, it hurt. My breath quickened for a few moments, my teeth clenched tight against the pain, my hands straining at their bindings. He gave me a brief amount of time, offering no words, then slowly pulled out only to push back in, this time with two fingers. At that he got nothing more than a little squeak from me; I stubbornly choked down the rest of my pained sounds and settled instead for cursing, which sounded so very much better than whimpering like a kicked puppy. But his face was still smug; I'm sure all my pain and embarrassment was clear enough on my face, in my eyes. But I wasn't going to look away from him.

"Just like a real kitten," he said, and his voice was lower now. "Have you ever had a little cat? When you take them to the vet, they'll take their temperature using a thermometer this way." He watched my face the whole while, scissoring his fingers within in me. It took all my willpower to keep from voicing my pain. Even worse, it was beginning to get to me, the feel of something inside me…my body was trying to tell me this was alleviating the pleasure, and I tried to refuse to listen.

My body is awfully loud when it tries to tell me something, unfortunately.

"So shall we have your temperature?" he said. "Just how hot is it, eh?" He leaned down, talking close to my ear as he made two fingers three and my heavy breathing began to contain little whimpered sounds as I exhaled. "Hot enough to make even your dick sweat it seems." He chuckled, and I wanted to cringe away…but I couldn't very well do that, already pressed as hard as possible against the pillows.

"Can you handle it yet?" he asked, listening to me curse as he moved those three fingers in and out of me. Damn, if only it didn't feel good, I didn't want to like it at this point…

"Y-yes," was the only reply I could manage without dissolving into full-blown gasping. I had to keep my mouth shut or it would all slip out.

He repositioned himself, and nervous anticipation settled steadily in my stomach, like a block of ice in me. Just get it over with, just have it done already-

"Hm," his hands gripped my hips, and he shook his head at me. "We'll see."

Maybe he'd see, but it didn't take me long to lose that ability, and all sense with it. There's a certain place fingers don't reach, and as Rod began to move in me he hit that place hard. So much for my self-control, my carefully maintained defiance, and desperate indifference. So much for hating this. This ecstasy was like nothing my own hand had ever given me. It was overwhelming and all-consuming. It made it so that even as I gasped it didn't feel as if I was getting enough air. I couldn't look at him anymore; I just closed my eyes and cried allowed, every time he slammed into me wrenching another cry from my throat. Yes, it hurt…but more than that it felt good, so good it was indescribable. I wanted very much to be able to turn my face into the pillows and be as loud as I needed to be…but even now I felt the fragile control I still barely had hold of over myself crumbling away. There would be nothing to keep me from expressing myself soon enough, that was for certain. Even worse I could feel tears stinging my eyes, the underlying pain getting to me.

"You might as well make use of your rosary," he said to me, and I managed to quiet myself to listen. I couldn't think straight enough to refuse to comply right then. "The Holy Mother was a virgin, but you aren't like her at all now are you? You're losing every last shred of innocence you had in this already sinful body of yours. So why don't you pray? Pray to the Virgin, and maybe she'll forgive you for forsaking her. Do it."

My thoughts were swimming uselessly. All I could manage to remember now was that he'd told me to think of this as an interview. I needed to sell myself, impress him…anything for the job…for the final goal…

"Hail Mary, full of grace..."

It was hard to get many words out at a time. I kept having to stop to try to get my breath. As it was each word was more a gasp than anything else.

"The Lord is with thee…"

As He used to be with me. Shit, what had I done? This was sacred, these were holy words! This was a prayer I would listen to my mother say in church; these were the same words I would whisper with her, as we both clutched these beads.

"Blessed are you among all women, and – a-ah! B-blessed is…the fruit of thy womb, Jesus."

I didn't want to cry. That was the last thing I wanted to do. But he'd stripped me down to the very barest I could possibly go, inside and out, he'd tormented me to this point. It was my choice too…I'd chosen this…I'd made the decision…

"Holy Mary, mother of God…"

Anything for the goal…anything to win…I had to. I couldn't give up now.

"Pray for us sinners now, and in the hour of our death-"

And it was, indeed, as if in that moment I died.

He took me all the way to an orgasm, hard and mercilessly, and when it was done and we were both breathless, I lay completely limp with my eyes still closed. I felt as if I would never move again. I didn't want to raise my head, or my arms. I didn't even want to bother to open my eyes. I was shaking all over, I felt so drained of energy. I wanted to sleep. I wished I could fall into a coma and just sleep for days.

I wished I could wash away all the filth I felt.

His hand stroked my face, a surprisingly gentle touch. "You should end the prayer, kitten," he said, and untied my hands. My fingers fumbled for the cross, but I couldn't bear to look at it.

"Amen."

And that single word, was, in my own way, the most sincere apology I had yet made in my entire life.


O.O I take it there's not really much that needs explaining. So I'll use this space to thank everyone for their reviews! Chapter 9 shall be coming soon. Man, this story is long, I'm so happy :D