A/N: Thanks to reviewers Amillenia27, sammykhann, guest25, wthc, jjj, Pileoflettuce, recondite123, lan.23, NS, SerasTasha, Summer, nomask, me, topsy krets, Platina GF, and the other guests for their kind comments. I haven't really contemplated what is the target audience for this fic; I suppose I'm just trying my best to explain the sci-fi bits that are crucial to the story plotline? As I've probably mentioned before, I'm writing this in a lab setting because it is something I'm familiar with, unlike Japanese history (that fic has already been posted, check it out on my profile!) Still, I expect the science to get toned down from here onwards as the major concepts have already been explained, so heave a sigh of relief – no more boring physics that doesn't even make sense!
Disclaimer: Mai HiME wasn't set in a lab, right? Obviously I didn't come up with it…
Glossary:
Natural, Scientific: a really obvious parody of the two most prominent scientific journals
Retreat: think "summer camp". It's an event in which members of the department would spend a night (or several) at a remote location talking science all day. There are usually many talks, poster sessions, and some really nerdy games going on during these events, and of course, free food and drinks which are the whole point of why people even go to these things.
Symposium: in ancient Greece was a drinking party. In today's academic world, it is an event in which people give presentations (by powerpoint or poster) about their work. But I think most grad students would tell you that the main event is the free food and drinks (once again). It's a drinking party after all, right?
Fujino Lab
Chapter 8 – Wine and Cheese
She knows – sometimes she sees things that are not reality; just figments of her own shattered wishes and hopes.
Including what she sees in Natsuki.
The way Natsuki runs for the door, somehow, it leaves a prick beneath her skin.
Is she really so uncomfortable here, sitting with her?
Does she really not want to know anything about her? Know her, the person, Fujino Shizuru?
And without knowing, her crimson eyes widen at the realization.
This is unacceptable. These thoughts, these feelings.
But she can't help them. The smile that the Raven gave to Takeda still burns in her mind. She just can't wipe it away as she continues staring at her figure in the distance.
"You must be Kuga Natsuki-san!" the teal-haired post-doc cuts the silence at the doorway, stepping in through the space beside the undergrad, "My pleasure to meet you. I am Tomoe Marguerite from the Graceburt Lab."
There is something about Tomoe's outstretched hand that makes Natsuki nervous about taking it. Her delicate smile, soft eyes are all beaming with a friendly demeanour, but instinct tells her otherwise.
Instinct my ass. She swallows the discomfort into her gut and grabs Tomoe's hand with a clean, hard shake.
"Natsuki is fine, if you don't mind."
"Natsuki-san then. Please call me Tomoe."
The customary exchange is cut off by the brunette host whose appearance makes Tomoe drop Natsuki's hand, attention immediately shifted in Shizuru's favour. It is that moment that Natsuki catches something sincere in Tomoe's longing gaze, a delightful smile unlike any she has seen thus far brightens the pale face, making the latter almost beautiful under the chandelier's lights.
"Shizuru-san!"
"Tomoe-san, what a pleasure for you to come too! I heard from Takeda-kun earlier that you can't make it because of a conference call, but I'm glad you made it in the end."
The moment the playful lie spills from Shizuru's mouth, she regrets. The prank to get Takeda back for his flirting with Natsuki is just something that crossed her mind, just a little joke she knows is utterly inappropriate so should be kept to herself, but the way Tomoe's beaming face darkens and her body stiffens to the remark, she almost feels a thrilling excitement run down her own spine.
"Well, yes, that call almost got me stuck in the lab, but it was unexpectedly short. You know how it works, Shizuru-san, when everybody's doing a great job and getting nice results, there really isn't all that much to discuss. Sort of ironic, but it's nice, ha ha ha…"
Tomoe plays into the lie. What conference call? Of course there is nothing of that sort. But she can easily imagine Takeda trying to keep her away from an after-work gathering. Spineless idiot. She rather likes the way Takeda squirms before her whenever she picks at his sloppy work, but to think he would make up a lie to avoid her? Well, then he better have the guts to bear the consequences!
Did he think she would not know about this party just because of him? It took about two seconds for her to figure it out when everybody left together in a giant carpool for North Fuuka!
Stupid as a cow. Tomoe thinks as she glares at the tanned young man in the distance. Poor Takeda doesn't even know what is about to hit him!
But neither does Natsuki, really. All she sees is a happy chatter between her prof and the newcomer, like another wall that falls between herself and the brunette.
Why should she care anyway? Those intellectuals and their wine and cheese, talking like a biomedical dictionary, using any lame excuse to cite their latest publication in Natural or Scientific. Look, exactly as expected, Sakomizu and Kanzaki readies the cheese platter! Right, right, right, I know you live in the ivory tower of PhD-hood, and I have no remote wish to violate your sacred domain, okay?
That last sentence of her soliloquy brings a crimson flush to her face.
Vi…violate!? Sacred domain!?
That was not what I meant, damn it!
"Natsuki, does the Camembert work for you?"
By the time Shizuru's voice awakens her, she finds that she has already moved back into the living room and is now seated between Takeda and her supervisor.
All done subconsciously. Wow.
"Cheese isn't really the thing for me. I'll go for Takeda's peanuts over that any day."
And something about that declaration is ticking the brunette off, especially the word "peanuts".
"Talking about Takeda-kun, it has been quite a while since you last presented a poster. Would you be interested in presenting at the departmental retreat that's coming up?" Shizuru asks, knowing full well the reason why Takeda has been avoiding all the symposia and conferences like mad fever. Her delightful smile is mirrored by Tomoe who is more than happy to deliver the first of many-to-come punishments for his earlier "lie".
"It'd be nice if you would report your progress to the rest of the department. After all, your last poster was speculative – there was nothing concrete to show, so many of our colleagues would be interested in seeing real results this time."
Which she knows is inexistent, and that brings a brilliant smile onto both Shizuru and her faces.
Now why is she grinning like a mad idiot? Stupid flirt. Doesn't she already have a drunken freeloader on her lap?
And when Natsuki realizes she just made a jealous schoolgirl type remark in her head, her blush becomes even more furious.
"Oh, about the retreat, are we still at Komaki Mountain this year?" Sakomizu comes to Takeda's rescue with the well-timed inquiry. At the expense of the former, Takeda jokes:
"Why, Kaiji-san, are you worried that you'd collapse from the hike again?"
"Look, that was just because we got lost and pretty much made a full circle around the mountain!" Sakomizu complains, although he knows full well how unfit he really is. He sighs. Writing grant proposals really isn't the most useful exercise for losing weight, eh?
"Wait…what do you do at these retreat things?" Natsuki asks in a sarcastic tone. It's really just a futile attempt to hide her true feelings about the matter – excitement. A retreat! Really! It's like grade seven camp over again, how she'll have to somehow skew the room assignments so she gets to spend the nights with her secret crush…
What on fucking Mother Earth am I thinking about!? Grade seven camp? No shit, I'm 26!
"Well, it's three days and nights of non-stop poster sessions, talks, and stupid games. If not for the food and opportunity to officially procrastinate, nobody would go to these things," Haruka barks out her opinion. Yukino nervously pokes her fingers together as she whispers that she doesn't have an old poster to present, so she'll actually have to work her pretty bottom off to prepare one in time.
"For the past couple years, we've been having the annual retreat at Komaki Mountain. It's a couple hours away, but the view is excellent, and the facilities are well-suited for conferences and the like," Shizuru continues.
"And they have good food, I must add," Haruka blurts again. "Bubuzuke, you seem to be making a segue to saying that we won't be going there anymore. What's up with you and your lack of orgasmization skills, damn it!? Everybody wants to bang Komaki!"
Yukino is lost for words about Haruka's slips this time. If it were just "orgasmization", she could easily correct for it, but what's with the verb "to bang"!? The blonde's brain went completely haywire there, didn't it!?
"Now, now, even if it were not Komaki, it would be difficult to legitimize departmental budget use on a gang bang, isn't that right, Reito-san?"
Is Shizuru sadistic or what, because Natsuki can clearly see Kanzaki's face distort from his feeble attempt to hold in his laughter.
"Well…it…is true that we're having some budget issues…not because of Shizuru-san's or…or…ganization skills-"
This is it. Kanzaki can't hold it in anymore upon those final words, leaving Haruka the only one bewildered at his not-so-sudden outburst.
This conversation is so not appropriate for a work gathering. Seriously. Natsuki can't help but do a tsukkomi in her mind. Nonetheless, she feels a little weight lift off her shoulders as she helps herself to a piece of cheese.
Just a piece, to see how it tastes like.
What tastes does she like?
"Haruka-san, the department regularly books the facility a year in advance. When I found out that I would be in charge of organizing the event this year, I've also attempted to make an early booking, but they raised the price, so I was made to reconsider." Fujino continues. By now, Kanzaki has finally recovered enough to carry on the conversation.
"I've attempted negotiations, promised future bookings if they would give a discount, but they stood firm. Seems like it really is time to find a new facility."
"Don't tell me that's because you were negotiating with a man and not a woman, Kanzaki!"
Natsuki must praise the fact that Suzushiro has such guts to call their lab manager a womanizer outright. Well, not that she isn't surprised there is something even Kanzaki can't negotiate his way through. The intelligent converser gives off those politician vibes after all.
"Are you telling me to find a facility where the person in charge is female, Haruka-san?" Kanzaki says lightly between a sip of wine, "I do have several options. There is Kaigen Resort down on the south shore. They have windsurfing there. Or the guest house up north in Hakuyama Village. It's not the ski season though, so not sure if that's the best choice…"
The focus isn't supposed to be on the recreational activities offered, right? And aren't those famous tourist attractions? Let's not talk about the booking – we clearly don't have the budget for it, do we!? Natsuki can't help but inwardly retort Kanzaki's nonsense. Not that she would mind an excuse to go on vacation, of course…
"Realistically, we're talking about either Jougen Bay Aquatic Research Center on campus, or Seishin Lake Forestry Research Center a little ways east, right?" Tomoe adds a sane comment. Logical that the only way you can get a cheap booking so close to the date of the actual retreat would be at a facility owned by the university itself. Wait…Seishin Lake…
Isn't that the lake where Nao's mother died?
"I'm trying to get a booking for Jougen Bay, but it's pretty full. We'll have to see if space frees up from people cancelling…"
"I'll try with Seishin Lake then!" Natsuki exclaims, cutting Kanzaki off much to everybody's surprise. Just when she is about to answer those inquisitive crimson orbs facing her, her cell rings, cutting her off-track. "Look, I have a call. I'll be right back."
Without another word, she leaves the living room for a quiet corner down the hall.
If it were just any other call, Natsuki would have ignored it and answered Shizuru's expectation instead.
But it is Nao.
Nao never calls her unless there is something urgent.
That's how it is now.
And this is how it should be.
"Hey. Watcha wanna say?" Natsuki says into the receiver without even waiting for the other side to introduce herself. That's what caller IDs are for, right?
"Where are you?" the sharp voice on the other end cuts in. For some reason, Natsuki quirks at the sudden question, settling for an awkward position on the wall to ease the discomfort.
"Look, I'm just at this work gathering, okay?" Why do I have to answer her honestly? It's not even her business anyway!
"I've got news so you better come over now."
"I can't just step out like that, you know? My boss is here!"
"So what is Fujino Shizuru to you? What is she to you in comparison to our case at hand?"
It is here that the brunette starts eavesdropping. She doesn't know what the hell she is doing, lying to everyone that she needs a washroom break only to follow after the Raven and listen into her phone call. And this shocks even herself, but her footsteps are not so forgiving, propelling her right to this scene where she's standing just around the corner, peering at the dark-haired girl's stiff posture as she clutches her phone tightly. There is a moment of deafening silence until the Raven slides down onto the floor into an almost fetal position, eyes closing to soft lines on her blushing porcelain.
"Nao, I'm sorry.
Nothing is more important than what we have shared, and what we still share now."
The brunette turns around.
She just can't get herself to continue watching, to continue listening to that delicate tone speaking gently into the receiver.
She doesn't know what is going on, who is calling, but she can feel the string of fate that tightly ties Natsuki to the other end.
And that is enough for her to return to reality.
Figments of imagination can be beautiful to hold, but alas they are mere mirages that will shatter any moment.
She smiles. How weak can she be, to extract such an imagination from a person she barely knows?
Without her, the phone conversation continues. There is a long pause before Nao speaks again, a little softer than previous.
"Oi, Kuga, that's not what I meant."
"I don't know what you mean, but I'm telling ya, the case will always be more important to me."
"You really don't get it, do you?"
"If there's anything for me to get, it is to get down to the real murderers. That's all."
"Fine, fine, fine, if that's what you want. Come then. I'll be waiting."
The line is cut and Natsuki slips her phone back into her pocket.
What is Fujino Shizuru to me?
I hardly know her, what can she be to me?
Even if she is something, so what? This is not dream dream fantasy land; a genius prof won't fall for a gay delinquent like me.
And I won't fall for her. Ever.
She grabs her jacket and walks quickly to the living room to inform the others of her early departure. The party is held in her name after all. That's all there is to it.
"Fujino, sorry but I'm heading out early," she says to the hostess she has pulled aside. The taller woman doesn't seem impressed, scarlet eyes shutting her out again, leaving a clenching feeling in her chest. She tries to explain, tries to get her to understand, but only these lame words manage to fall out her tongue. "So yeah. Umm…thanks for everything. I had fun tonight."
"No worries. Go on and do what is more important."
The usual gently rolling voice is cut short. The remark, which should sound polite and encouraging, ends up blunt and angry.
Shizuru almost wants to slap herself, but so be it, it's not something she can help.
She just wants the girl out of her sight. Now.
"Yeah, of course. This is urgent stuff – sorry I don't have time to play any longer. You go on and have fun with Lu and Marguerite. I'll catch you tomorrow morning if you manage to get out of bed by then!"
She runs out the door and shuts it with a slam. Damn it, did she just say that!? What, is she some lovesick puppy now?
Get on her bike. Get to Nao's house. Get down to business.
That's it. Nothing else's gonna bother her.
It has started raining.
At first it was just a light patter, but by the time she has reached the run-down apartment downtown, it has evolved to a heavy downpour.
The cold liquid slashes her, soaking her suit till it is wrapping tightly around her. When she comes through the creaking door into Nao's unit, she's dripping, making a puddle on the mat at the entrance.
"Take off that wet shit before you turn my house into a pool," the redhead spider curses while shutting the door behind her. Natsuki growls.
"Speak, then I'll get out of here."
Nao crosses her arms, inwardly worried by her stubbornness. What shows on her face, though, is impatience, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, ya know?"
She's angry. What do you mean I don't want to do this!? You think only your mom got killed, not mine? Those thoughts cross her mind, but she knows it's not Nao's fault that she's thinking over such things. Making a sharp exhale, she utters the only words she can clearly compose now, "Just speak."
There is a bit of a pleading hint that Nao manages to catch on. They've known each other for a long time after all. She manages to hold in her own temper and indulges the Raven instead, "You know that Father Joseph I last told you about?"
"Yeah?"
"Still can't trace Itou's cash to him, but found where the cash flowed into his account."
"Where?"
"Himeno Fumi."
Himeno Fumi is the mayor of Fuuka. But what's important is not her current position, it's her backing.
"The Kazahana Family?"
"Yeah, I don't know what is the motive, but we better be careful from here on. You know how Yamada is always telling us not to dig too deep about NLPS? Don't know if he has evidence or is it just his instinct, but whatever they're doing down at Schwartz may be threatening the Kazahana's power – maybe that's what got our moms killed."
They're up against the Kazahana Family, the ancient rulers of Kaze, now the shadow rulers of the so-called democratic government. With the financial backing from the Fujino and their grasp over the army, the switch to democracy is more ritualistic than realistic, just a show put up on the world stage. The president bows to them, and the citizens let him. After all, who doesn't work for them, one way or another? The destabilization of the Kazahana may give a chance for true democracy, but it will be done at the cost of millions of lives in bitter civil wars. Such a shallow reward is something nobody would risk for, especially in light of the thriving domestic economy.
"That just can't be right," Natsuki refuses to believe, "My mom gave up custody over me because she knew somebody would come after her. If it were the Kazahana, she would never move me back to Fuuka where the enemy has even greater power. That just doesn't make sense."
"You're just making your mom sound almighty, Dude. What if she didn't know everything? She just knows somebody is after her, and that somebody is in Schwartz? Could be the Kazahana just hired a hitman to do her away. How would she know either way?"
Nao's question nicks at her patience. She doesn't even realize her own denial over other possibilities. She doesn't even realize she wants to find an answer, any answer, and just get it over with!
"Why are you questioning me? I'm just telling you your speculation is bullshit and you know it!"
"And do you have a better idea of what's going on?" Nao snaps, "You call my speculation bullshit, but what's yours? You were supposed to investigate your mom's case and there's nothing!"
There's nothing.
She didn't find anything.
What has she been doing, working for Fujino?
"I didn't lose my purpose, you Bitch!"
The rebuke comes more heavily than she intended. The frustration she didn't even know she was holding just exploded at that moment, leaving even herself bewildered.
"I…I talked to Yamada. About my mom's project in NLPS. One of the scientists who took on the project after her has defected to U of Fuuka and I'm getting a hold of her. That's why I was at that gathering earlier."
Why does she have to make up a fucking excuse for going to Fujino's house?
From the start, she didn't even know Tomoe would be going, right?
And when she realizes her own lie, she's stunned in her spot.
"You know, Kuga, you're a horrible liar."
Reaching over, the red-haired girl holds her in an embrace. The warm fingers streak across her spine as they peel the soaking garments off her body, exposing the bare flesh before her.
The scars, the taint, how much can be attributed to Yuuki Nao herself?
You're such a horrible liar that you can't even fool yourself.
Why do you have to, anyway?
I would never have blamed you if you decided to chase a proper life instead.
You deserve it.
Don't you even understand, Kuga, that you deserve better than me?
For the first time in years, Nao kisses another because she wants to.
She invades with her tongue, deep, trying to steal any warmth that's left in her stone-cold partner.
She knows, no matter how furious her attack, there is already no warmth left for her. She knows, but she will not admit it.
Yuuki Nao is just a loser obsessed in the past, because she has no future.
And it is now time for you, Kuga Natsuki, to abandon me.
End of Chapter 8 – reviews are highly appreciated, as always!
Totally-unrelated-omake #1
"Since there seems to be some interest in how real labs operate, I decided to write an omake about my boring daily life here," Ren types this BS about herself, earning a look from the other grad student seated in her bay.
"Aren't you supposed to be reading comics now?" He sarcastically comments on Ren's masterpiece, mistaking it for actual work. Then again, how can you even begin to draft your paper when all your experiments for the past week failed? Now which reagent died in that list of twenty-or-so? Make that which reagents. Isn't there a formula for calculating all the possible combinations of things that could've gone wrong? Never mind...not like this question would appear on the comps...maybe...
"Is there a problem with me actually working?" Ren asks, playing into his game. He laughs again.
"Of course there is a problem, because those comics are more interesting than all that writing on your screen!"
What...he has been staring at Ren's screen?
"What about you? Don't you have some actual work to do?"
"I do, actually. I'm flash-freezing some food. Oh look! It's ready!"
He pulls out a muffin from the liquid nitrogen, grin widening on his face.
"Don't let the safety committee...whoa!" Ren's speech ends in an exclamation as she witnesses the local safety committee member pop the frozen muffin into her mouth.
"Ugh...it's sticking to my tongue..."
"Err...are you sure you're supposed to flash freeze your food and eat it in the lab?"
"It's really good! Try some, Ren!" Her benchmate chimes. She sweatdrops...really?
*this is a work of fiction. We do actually work...sometimes...
